Fixed on You (29 page)

“I love touching your skin,” he
murmured near my ear, then nipped at my lobe, soothing it afterward with a
smooth swipe of his tongue. It was an awfully sexual gesture, one I didn’t
expect from him in the company of others. Either he’d upped his game or he was
no longer finding it as easy to compartmentalize as he usually did.

I turned my head into him to see
if I could read his face but stopped when I spotted his mother watching us, her
eyes narrow slits of anger. So that was the reason behind his display. Satisfaction
rose in my chest, but simultaneously I felt a wave of disappointment. Though I
thoroughly enjoyed Sophia’s misery, our job had been to sway her to acceptance,
not alienation. The task was impossible, I’d embraced that. But I knew Hudson
hadn’t, and I hurt for the distress that his mother caused him.

“Net’s ready,” Adam declared,
kicking a pile of sand toward us to make sure he had our attention.

Hudson stood and reached his hand
out to help me up beside him. Once I was up, he didn’t let go, even as I pulled
at my swimsuit bottoms with my other hand, relieving myself of the wedgie I’d
gotten from sitting. All the while, I felt Sophia’s stare, knew I was on her
radar. Soon, she’d fire. I sensed it.

“Dammit. I want to play,” Mira
whined. “You know I’d be MVP.”

“Yes, baby, you would.” Adam bent
down to rub her full belly protruding over the top of her bikini bottoms. “But
you play rough, and that wouldn’t be good for little jellybean.”

“Yeah, you gotta protect my first
grandchild,” Jack said proudly.

Sophia peered at her husband.
“But she isn’t technically having the first grandchild, Jack.” She paused to
ensure all ears were tuned to her. “Celia and Hudson’s baby claims that title.”

A whooshing sound filled my ears
and I felt dizzy, as if on a tilt-o-whirl.
Celia and Hudson’s baby.
Why…what…?

My shock was magnified by
Hudson’s reaction. He didn’t deny it. Instead, he tried to pull me closer.
“Alayna,” he whispered.

“Sophia!” I heard Jack hiss. “How
dare
you compare that to Mira’s baby?”

Vaguely I was aware of Mira
saying something, but I couldn’t make sense of anything except the cold
disappointment that rattled in my bones. I had to get away, had to think, had
to breathe. I pulled my hand from Hudson’s grasp and left, walking quickly down
the beach, away from the Pierce family.

“Fuck you, Mother,” Hudson said
behind me before I was out of earshot.

A baby. Hudson had a baby.
With Celia.
I couldn’t even grapple with trying to figure out where the
baby was or what happened to it, too pained by the conception of a baby in the
first place. It was ridiculous. He wasn’t mine, he never was. But a baby…merely
another way he belonged to Celia. Belonged
with
Celia.

I kept walking when Hudson called
after me. But I didn’t run from him when he jogged to catch up.

“I’m fine,” I said, forcing a
smile. “I’m playing the part of a wounded girlfriend.”

He matched my stride, but didn’t
try to touch me. “Then why are you crying?”

I’d hoped we didn’t have to
acknowledge the tears spilling down my cheeks. I swiped at them with my palm,
still holding my smile in place. “I’m just surprised.” My voice was tight
despite the cheer I tried to inject in it. “I didn’t know you had slept with
her.”

“I didn’t.”

“You obviously did.”

“No, my mother thinks I got Celia
pregnant. I did not.”

His words stopped me, a bubble of
hope forming inside. “And why is that?”

He ran his hand over his face
before he answered. “Because when Celia got pregnant I told our parents I was
the father.”

I folded my arms over my chest
waiting for more, but he gave nothing. “Are you going to explain?”

“No.” He mirrored my stance.
“It’s not relevant.”

I spun on my heels, walking
faster this time. How did he expect me to be in this fucking fake relationship
when I didn’t have all the information? Maybe I was only a pawn in his mind
games. It was the only thing that made sense.

“Alayna, stop.”

He followed after, reaching for
me. This time I pulled away.

“Stop!” He caught up to me and
grabbed me firmly at the shoulders. He turned me to him. “I said, ‘stop!’”

”Why can’t you tell me?” My tears
had turned to sobs.

“Why can’t you trust me?”

I let out a single laugh,
maddened by the insanity of his request. “That’s funny—you asking me to trust
you when you trust me with absolutely nothing.” I mean, what did I know about
him? Besides his expertise in bed and a few random tidbits that I’d learned in
one long car ride, he’d shared nothing.

His voice tightened. “You know
more about me than most people.”

It felt like an accusation. That
I knew that thing—the one thing he didn’t want anyone to know. But he hadn’t
even been the one to tell me that. And it was only one detail of the complex
makeup of Hudson Pierce.

“No,” I said, sticking my chin
out defiantly. “I know one thing about you that most people don’t. It’s
different.”

“It’s the only thing that
matters.”

“Bullshit.” If he truly believed
that…how could he be so blind to think that all that mattered about him were
the mistakes of his past? It broke my heart and my voice cracked as I spoke.
“There’s so much more to you than that.”

I wanted to touch him, to caress
his face, to make him see. I stretched my hand tentatively toward him, but he
stepped back.

“Obviously you do know me,” he
spit out, “if you feel comfortable making that kind of statement.” His tone was
nasty, sarcastic. He didn’t believe it. He was spinning my words, my meaning.

I turned away from him,
processing. I did know things about him—things I’d discovered from spending
time with him. I did believe there was more to him than the guy who manipulated
women for sport. I saw it in him, felt it when he kissed me, and when he lay
between my legs.

And if I really believed his
sincerity in those moments, then I had to say I trusted him.

Which meant he was telling the
truth now—he hadn’t fathered a baby with Celia. But then why would he tell his
parents that he had?

The realization punched my
stomach like a ton of bricks. “It’s because you love her, isn’t it?” Voicing it
made the weight even heavier. “That’s why you told your parents it was your
baby.”

“No!”

His defiant protest spun me back
to face him. “There’s no other logical reason.” To assume such a huge
responsibility for another person—that required an emotional connection. It was
proof he wasn’t a sociopath—that he could care for someone at that level—but
that was hardly comfort to me in that moment.

“Stop this, Alayna.” It was a
command, a low even tone that I guessed few people argued with.

But I was determined to hear him
confirm the truth that would kill me. “You’re in love with her.”

He threw his arms out
emphatically. “For the love of God! If I am even capable of that emotion,
Celia’s not the one I’d be…” He stopped himself, his jaw snapping shut.

Celia’s not the one…
His
words echoed in my ears like a song I loved to hear.

He stepped toward me. Cupping his
hands at the sides of my face, he lifted my chin roughly toward him. “I’m not
in love with Celia. I promised I’d be honest with you, Alayna, but it does no
good if you don’t trust me.”

I was still reeling from his
slip. Celia wasn’t the one he’d…what? Be in love with? Then who—with me? 

But he wasn’t giving that away.
For now, his almost statement was enough—it calmed my nerves and steadied my
heart.

He smoothed the hair down behind
my ear, and I stared into his gray eyes, noting a tenderness that I hadn’t seen
earlier. “I’ve never slept with Celia.” His tone was soft but urgent. “I’m not
in love with her. I didn’t get her pregnant. Trust me.” Even softer, even more
urgent. “Please.”

“Okay.”

His brow creased in surprise.
“Okay?”

“Okay, I trust you.”

“You do?”

I thought of how eager I’d been
to have Brian’s trust, how disappointed I’d been when I realized I still
didn’t. Hudson needed someone, needed me to believe in him. I should have been
telling him every second. If I loved him, like I believed I did, then I’d have
to do better at building him up.

I smiled at him. “I do.”

His body relaxed like a huge
weight had been removed from his shoulders. “Thank you.” He kissed my forehead.
“Thank you.”

I was absorbed with him in that
space of time, but not so much as to not observe its oddity. We were holding
each other close, exchanging assurances that portrayed us as more than casual
lovers.
What are we doing?
I almost asked him; I felt the shape of the
words on my tongue, but couldn’t locate the air to push them past my lips. Did
he sense it too?

If he recognized it, he hid it
from me, pulling my head down to his shoulder where I couldn’t look for it in
his eyes. And that was fine. I enjoyed his embrace, the warmth and security it
gave me, whatever it meant for us.

After the possibility of
addressing the moment had passed, he said, “Look. My mother’s leaving.”

I pulled away to glance at the
group we’d left behind. Sure enough, Sophia with her oversized sunhat was
walking alone up the pathway toward the house. With her gone, it made the idea
of rejoining the group more tolerable. “We should get back.”

“We should.” A hint of reluctance
laced his tone and his eyes shifted to my lips. “We should kiss and make up
first.” He’d already begun lowering his face to mine. “In case anyone’s
watching.”

I didn’t have time to agree before
one hand wrapped around the back of my neck and his tongue swept into my mouth.
Unlike the majority of our kisses that were generally reserved for sex, this
one was sweet and easy. That didn’t mean it lacked passion. Hudson sucked and
licked and nibbled first at my top lip and then gave equal treatment to the
bottom. Then his tongue was inside my mouth again, reaching and searching,
circling mine in a lazy spiral.

He labeled it as a kiss for our
distant spectators, but it was completely ours—a harmonic blending of him and
me, so thoroughly fused I could no longer remember where he began, where I
ended, whose taste belonged to who. And it was more—a love song without words,
a promise without fear. It was a spark, a beginning of something new.

We parted hesitantly, both of us
afraid to break the spell. Then, I slipped my hand in his and we returned to
our roles as girlfriend and boyfriend.

Hudson changed after that,
perhaps because Sophia had left, but I chose to believe it had more to do with
the faith I had placed in him. He became playful and lighthearted. I witnessed
it first in the volleyball match against Adam and Chandler. He skillfully
dominated the game, as I was sure he dominated a boardroom. But in between
plays he surprised me—giving me high fives and patting me lightly on the
behind. It didn’t feel like he was putting on a show—there wasn’t any need to
convince Adam and Chandler of our relationship. 

I welcomed the development,
embracing it perhaps too readily, the line between real and pretend blurring.

After we’d won two sets of
volleyball, we took a spin on the Jet Skis—Hudson driving, me clutching to him
tightly from behind. He rode confidently across the choppy water, and I
thrilled at the speed and the closeness and how easy it was to just be with
him.

And when we lost our balance and
fell into the ocean, he clutched me to him and laughed then kissed me
mercilessly before righting the Jet Ski and pulling me up behind him. “Again,
precious?” he yelled over the motor.

“Again.”

Later, after we’d packed up and
returned from the beach, we changed our clothes and went down for a BBQ on the
veranda that included brats and dogs cooked by Jack. Sophia claimed another
insufferable headache and only showed herself momentarily to say goodnight,
though I suspected she really came down to fill her glass.

We finished the evening with
several rounds of poker where Jack cleaned everyone out. Then Hudson and I
headed to our bedroom, our eyes wandering along the landscapes of each other’s
bodies as we climbed the stairs.

The door had barely shut behind
us before Hudson had me caged to the wall, his body pressed against me as he
took my lips in a hungry desperate kiss, probing and demanding with his tongue
until I was gasping in his mouth. My head swam, my panties instantly drenched
with arousal, but I summoned strength to push my palms firmly against his
chest. “Hold on, Hudson,” I said, breathless.

“Dammit, Alayna, I have to be
inside you. I can’t wait any longer.”

He moved in again, but I turned
my head and his mouth found my jawline instead. “Soon, H.” I darted out under
his arm. “Lower the lights like you did the other night.” I walked backward as
I spoke until I hit the closet where we’d stowed our suitcases. Hudson had hung
several items of clothing and put others into the dresser drawers, but I still
hadn’t bothered to unpack. “Get settled in bed. Naked.” I winked.

“Oh, you’re taking charge,” he
said, leaning on the wall with an outstretched arm. “How adorable.”

“Don’t patronize me.” I bent
inside the closet to rifle for the red baby doll halter nightie he’d missed
seeing me wear the night before. When I found it, I wadded it up in a tight
ball so he couldn’t see it yet and took off for the bathroom.

“I’m not. I’m excited.” He rubbed
along the crotch of his pants. “I’m already hard.”

My lip curled into a wicked grin.
“Good. Now do as you were told.” I stopped in the doorframe of the bathroom.
“And don’t fall asleep!”

“Then don’t take forever in the
bathroom.”

Grinning, I shut the door.
Charged with nervous anticipation, I changed at lightning speed. The day had
been beyond wonderful and real. It had been so long since I felt anything more
than contentment, and with Hudson, I did. I was certain he did, too. We’d been
falling together. And now I wanted to celebrate those feelings with my lover,
acknowledging the depths of my emotions with my body even if I couldn’t yet
express them in words.