Fixed on You (32 page)

Brian was out of my life. Out of
my life for good.

Maybe because I’d already cried
all those tears earlier, or maybe because I’d simply had enough of family
members who constantly kept their loved ones down when they needed compassion
and support most, but the sigh I let out wasn’t in frustration—it was in
relief.

David leaned against his desk and
stared at the new brown leather sofa across the room. “Should we move it to the
other wall?” It was the fourth time he’d asked since I’d arrived.

Truthfully, I couldn’t care less
where the sofa was. The only reason I’d come into the club so early was to have
something to occupy my mind. It had been thirty-three hours since I’d left the
Hamptons, longer since I’d seen Hudson, and all I wanted to do was buy a plane
ticket to Cincinnati and find him, whatever it took.

But another part of me—a very
small, but surprisingly solid bud of calm at the center of my being—believed
that Hudson would be back. That he’d be back for me. He felt something for me.
I knew he did. And maybe that emotion, even if he couldn’t acknowledge it,
would be enough to bring him to me. Eventually.

Hopefully.

If I didn’t cling on to that
small sliver of hope, I’d fall apart. It was the only thing keeping me from
giving into the crazy. That and trying to concentrate on my job.  

“It’s fine, David. Leave it.”

“Are you sure? This is your
vision, Laynie. Make it work.”

“It works perfectly as is.”

I suspected David’s anxiousness
had more to do with me and my mood than couch placement. He crossed to the sofa
and sat down. “It’s pretty comfy, too. Check it out.”

Sighing, I tossed my inventory
report on the desk and joined him. “Hmm,” I said, settling into the corner.
“Not bad.”

But really I was thinking about
how the new couch reminded me of the one at the apartment above Hudson’s
office. It had been my initial attraction to it when I’d seen it in the
catalog. I loved the way it felt masculine with its rich dark color, yet also
warm and soft with its curved back and arms.

Now I wondered if every glance at
the piece of furniture would bring to mind thoughts of the man who hadn’t
called or texted me since his vanishing act.

My thoughts traveled to the email
I’d received that morning from his bank—the one that owned my student loans—stating
my debt had been adjusted off in full. And the credit card that I’d kept secret
from him had also shown up with a zero balance. Having them both paid for made
the whole deal feel done.

And I wanted so much not to be
done with Hudson Pierce.

“So what’s going on in your
pretty little head, Laynie?”

I’d gotten lost in my mind again.
Boy, was I bad company.

“Stuff,” I said, feeling bad
about the brush off, but not bad enough to expound upon my answer.

He nodded and rested his ankle on
his other leg. “Pierce okay with that Plexis deal?”

I twisted my head toward him.
“What do you mean?”

David’s brows rose. “I figured
you knew. It was in the paper this morning.” He stood and moved toward his
desk.

I hadn’t looked at the news that
morning. Knowing I’d be tempted to stalk Hudson online, I hadn’t even gotten on
my computer except to check my email after Brian had left the day before. It
had been hard to fight the compulsion, but after kicking my brother out, I’d
felt a renewed sense of self-strength. So I turned off my computer and spent
the night watching some of the movies from the AFI list that I hadn’t seen yet
while I ate a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream. And I cried some more. 
Overall, a very productive evening.

David rifled through some papers
in the recycling bin. “Here it is.”

He returned to the couch and
handed me a folded section of the newspaper. I scanned my eyes over the article
he’d pointed to. The headline read
Plexis sold to DWO
. Skimming, I
quickly got the gist of the story. DWO, a rival corporation of Pierce
Industries, had convinced the other shareholders to sell, even though
management, and lone hold-out shareholder Hudson Pierce, fought to prevent the
acquisition.

My stomach sank. Hudson had
really cared about Plexis and the people that worked there. He had to be
devastated over the loss. No wonder he’d run off to Cincinnati the day before—he
must have been making one last ditch effort to save his company.

Which also meant he’d been
telling me the truth. He hadn’t run from me. Why was I so self-centered to
believe everything had to do with me?

I closed my eyes and felt the
couch sink next to me as David sat back down.

“You like him more than you let
on.”

“I do. I love him.” I peeked over
at him, remembering how David had reacted the last time we’d talked about Hudson
and me. “I didn’t mean to fall in love. I just did.”

David smiled but kept his eyes
downcast. “That’s how it usually occurs.”

I threw the newspaper on the
ground, put my elbows on my knees and covered my hands with my face. Awkward—that’s
what this was. Totally awkward.

David leaned back on the couch.
“And he feels…?”

I peeked over my shoulder toward
him. Did he really want to talk about this? Well, he was there, and he did ask.
“I’m not sure.”

“That’s a real bummer.” David
leaned forward. He was so close to me I could smell the faint aroma of his body
wash and feel the warmth of his breath. “For what it’s worth, I’ll tell you how
I feel: Stupid.”

“Stupid?” I folded my arms across
my chest, feeling strangely vulnerable so near to a guy I’d once been gaga
over.

“Yeah.” He lowered his voice.
“How did I let you slip through my fingers?”

“David…” I didn’t want that, not
now. My heart, my mind, my body had tuned to Hudson. He was the only guy I
could think of anymore. It scared me a bit. Singular thoughts of someone—that
could be the beginnings of an obsession.

But also, and I wasn’t sure
because I didn’t know from experience, but couldn’t those kind of thoughts be
attributed to being in love? Lauren had said as much. As long as I remained in
control of my behavior, as long as my affection was welcomed, then wasn’t it
perfectly okay to think of Hudson, to
choose
him over anyone else? I
thought maybe so. I
hoped
so.

I opened my mouth to speak, to
tell David that there was no chance for us, but he seemed to understand without
me having to say anything.

He sighed and nodded. Then he
shrugged. “I just thought you should know.”

“Thank you,” I said, because I
didn’t know what else to say. And because I was grateful that he’d taken my
rejection so well.

He stood up and held his hand out
to me. “Back to work.”

I took his hand and let him help
me to my feet.

David held onto my hand after I
stood. “But if you ever find yourself on the market again…”

Even without Hudson, David and I
couldn’t be together. He’d been a safe option, someone who wouldn’t drive me to
obsessive behaviors. But safety had come at the price of no sincere emotional
investment. Maybe I risked more with Hudson, but there was also something real
to be gained.

But I smiled and said, “I’ll keep
you in mind. For sure.”

“Can we hug it out?”

I nodded and David pulled me into
his arms. His embrace felt...good. Stronger than I’d remembered, but it didn’t
make my heart beat faster. And it comforted me, but didn’t warm me to the bone
the way Hudson’s arms did. Still, it was nice, and I let myself relax into its
goodness.

David broke away first. Abruptly.
Bringing his closed fist to his mouth, he coughed, his eyes darting from me to
a spot behind me.

I furrowed my brow, confused by
his strange actions then twisted to see what was behind me.

“Hey, Pierce,” David said as I
came eye-to-eye with Hudson.

The blood drained from my face.
The hug had been innocent, but I knew what it must have looked like. And it
didn’t feel exactly innocent, not when David wanted more, and not when we’d
sort of been together in the past. Especially since I’d never told Hudson about
it.

Hudson’s expression was stoic,
his eyes piercing into mine. He gave nothing away and that terrified me. Not only
because I couldn’t read his reaction to what he’d witnessed, but because it
meant he’d withdrawn further. With the way he’d left me, the circumstances of
the last time we saw each other, he may have had the same blank expression if
he hadn’t just walked in on me hugging my boss.

“I’ll, uh, let you guys have some
privacy.” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw David leave the office, shutting
the door behind him. My focus never left the man in front of me.

Alone with Hudson, the tension
became thicker. He looked as painfully beautiful as ever in a dark gray suit
and a solid blue tie that made his eyes seem more blue than gray. He didn’t
speak, didn’t move. Just stared into me. Stared through me.

 I swallowed hard, afraid I might
cry. For more than a day I had longed to see him, had ached for him. Now that
he was here, everything was all wrong.

 “Hudson,” I began, not knowing
what to say next. Then I remembered the article. “I read about Plexis.” I
reached my hand out and took a step toward him. “I’m so sor—“

He cut me off. “What’s going on
with you and him?” His tone was even, controlled, but his right eye twitched.

“Nothing,” I said on a heavy
exhale. “David was, um,…” Yeah, where was I going with that? David was trying
to get with me and I turned him down so we were hugging it out? “It was a
friendly hug, that’s all.”

Hudson’s jaw tensed. “The
expression on his face was much more than friendly.” He took a measured step
toward me. “Have you fucked him?”

“No!”

His eyes narrowed, studying me.
“But almost.”

“No.” Except that wasn’t quite
true. We had come pretty close to screwing in the past. Right there in that
office, in fact. It didn’t seem like a good time to bring that up, though. And
all of that had been before Hudson.

“Why don’t I believe you?”

“Because you have some serious
trust issues.” I felt a twinge of guilt knowing that his distrust might very
well be because he sensed I was holding something back. Still, I didn’t
appreciate being drilled. And Hudson did have trust issues. “What is your
fucking deal, anyway?”

He stepped toward me again. “I
told you before,” he growled. “I don’t share.”

A surge of euphoria pulsed
through me. He still thought of me as his. I remembered when he’d said those
words to me the first time, how it had turned me on to no end. The rawness of
it, the primitive way he claimed me as his own.

Now, though, despite that it
indicated I still had something to fight for with Hudson, the statement struck
a nerve. “But I have to share you with Celia?”

“Goddammit, Alayna. How many
times do I have to say it? There is nothing going on with me and Celia.”

I felt uneasy about insinuating
otherwise. I’d accused past lovers of cheating on me—many times—but it had
always been paranoia on my part, doubtful that anyone could ever really love
me. My accusations had ended relationships, and my stomach lurched at that possibility
with Hudson.

Yet, he had secrets where Celia
was concerned. That wasn’t my mind playing tricks on me, he’d confirmed that
much. He’d asked me to believe that those secrets weren’t relevant to us, but
if he wanted my trust, he had to give me his. “And there’s nothing going on
with me and David.”

“Really?” His tone was icy.
“That’s not how it looked when I walked in here.”

My vision blurred with tears.
“Just like that’s not how it looked when you left with Celia while I was still
naked in your bed?”

Anger flashed in Hudson’s eyes.
He grabbed my upper arms and yanked me toward him until my face was only inches
from his. “Leaving you that morning was the hardest fucking thing I’ve done in
a long time,” he hissed. “Don’t treat it lightly.”

Then his mouth crushed mine,
before I could digest what he’d said, before I could let the sweetness of his
words sink in. He nipped and tore at the tender skin of my lips with his teeth,
his kiss abrasive and impatient.

My body begged to give into his
demanding passion, his mouth and tongue coaxing me to bend to him, but my brain
still held onto our disagreement and our whereabouts. Jesus, we were in the
goddamn office of the nightclub!

I broke away from his lips.
“Hudson, stop.”

But he didn’t stop. He continued
kissing down my neck and his hand found my breast, which he squeezed and
fondled roughly over the fabric of my dress. His cock pressed into me at my
thigh, and I felt it stiffen.

“Stop!” I said again, pushing at
his chest with both my hands.

“No,” he rumbled in my ear. “I
have to fuck you. Now.”

“Why? Are you marking your
territory?” I’d only been half serious with the comment, but he pulled back and
the look in his eyes said that was exactly what he was doing.

I wriggled out of his grip, the
nausea returning in painful waves. “You don’t own me, Hudson! Stop messing with
me like I’m one of your other women.
Not with me
, remember?”

“Don’t you think I know that?
Every minute of every day I remind myself that I can’t conquer you. That I
can’t do that to you.” His jaw twitched. “But it doesn’t mean that I don’t want
to.”

He might as well have struck me.
Even though I’d told myself that it was possible that I was merely another on
his list of women he’d played, I’d truly believed that I was different. The
tears that had threatened earlier spilled freely. “So I am just like the others.”

“No. You’re not.” His voice
tightened. “I told you before. I don’t want to hurt you more than I need to win
you.”