Flare (3 page)

It was preposterous. How could they think this was a good idea in the least?

Kevin found Russell’s number on his cell phone and pulled it up to his ear.
No time like the present
. Hugo tried to catch the gist of the one-sided conversation he was hearing, but it was so short-lived there wasn’t much to grasp.

“He’s calling them. He sounded pissed,” Kevin said. Twenty minutes later, Russell called back as Hugo was driving through the picturesque downtown of Red Wing. “Did they say why they were doing this?” Kevin asked Russell.

Hugo considered pulling over so the kids could see the humongous leather boot at the Red Wing Shoes store and to give Kevin some privacy. When he took a quick peek into the backseat, he saw they were both still sleeping away, and he didn’t want to disturb that peace. The boot would have to happen another day. Hugo drove on.

“They’re freaking out over a lot of things, it seems,” Kevin said as soon as he hung up. “They think they can win custody because of that hold I did on Finn, because nothing else will probably stick that they have contention with. They’re freaking out about you, saying because you’re gay, you’re endangering the kids. They’ve started saying that about me too.”

“Still? I thought Erin and Russell had calmed them down at Christmas.”

“Apparently not. They have friends with some really close-minded ideas, and they surrounded themselves with these people. Erin always talked about the fearmongering some of those people did, bringing up every awful article in the media when they go out for coffee,” Kevin said, rolling his eyes. “I guess Russell yelled at Tasha. He told her all they were going to do was screw the kids up by doing this. Of course she brought up the fact that we left on Christmas, saying I was abandoning them that day.” He shook his head, and Hugo watched as the guilt and shame made his shoulders droop. He was giving up just like he’d always done with his own father in the past.

After Kevin and Hugo had heard Tasha worry aloud that Hugo was preying on Finn and blatantly attributing that to the fact that he was gay, Erin had insisted Kevin and Hugo leave for the next four days. She spent that time with her parents gently talking to them about Hugo. Russell had helped as well, but they both still wished they could’ve been flies on the wall, especially now.

Kevin and Hugo had known they needed to allow Erin’s parents to spend uninterrupted time with her before she died, and it had seemed as if they viewed Hugo as an intruder. As hard as it had been for Kevin and Hugo to be away during those days, they had reminded themselves that all of Erin’s loved ones deserved to say good-bye to her in their own way. Sometimes the grief of loss meant irrational fears were verbalized.

Hugo thought in silence as he drove. He knew many people continued to perpetuate myths and hold prejudices about gay men, but he never thought Kevin’s custody of Brooke and Finn would’ve been affected by Hugo’s mere presence in this relationship. That knowledge made him want to fight. He’d fight for those kids with everything he had in him.

But now, even Kevin’s parenting was being called into question because he’d finally come out as bisexual. According to Kevin and everyone who knew him, he was a better dad in the last eighteen months than he’d been in the previous nine years. Kevin was available, aware of subtle changes in his kids, highly present in not only their everyday lives, but in the planning and support for their future. Apparently to the Clarkes, an absent, seemingly straight dad was better than an involved bisexual one. Funny thing was, Kevin had always been bisexual. That was nothing new.

“We’re going to have to be even more solid for the kids now,” Hugo concluded, shrugging as if it was a foregone conclusion. “I think we have been, but if Tasha and Kyle are going to start slinging mud, saying we don’t ever deserve a night off now and then while providing Brooke and Finn with a competent babysitter, often their own son and Summer, a kindergarten teacher trusted by the state of Minnesota with a classroom full of kids, then that’s bullshit. That’s not going to fly. If we need to play dirty, I’ll do it, or….” Hugo pulled up short in sudden realization. “Not really my decision. Sorry. This is your choice. Not mine.”

“Don’t be sorry. This is about you as much as it is about me. They’re trying to say I’m unfit because we’re together. They’d never do this if I was dating a woman even if they knew I was bisexual.”

Hugo looked in the rearview mirror and saw Brooke stirring in the backseat, so he gestured over his shoulder at Kevin, signaling that they should be quiet. With a smile, Kevin turned toward Brooke and asked, “Do you want a different radio station? Or do you want me to hook your iPod up to the sound system?”

“The radio is just fine,” she said after a long stretch of her muscles.

T
HIRTY
-
FIVE
MINUTES
later, Hugo was pulling into a huge toy store in the middle of nowhere and Kevin was waking Finn. “Look what Hugo found,” he said to the drowsy boy, who blinked with heavy eyes.

“Where are we?” Finn asked with a stretch and yawn that triggered a sympathetic response in Brooke as well.

“Lark Toys. It’s a huge toy store. They have a cool merry-go-round and mini golf too,” Hugo shared.

It turned out to be a great distraction, entertaining both generations. Even Brooke’s
too cool for childish things
tween sensibilities that were starting to emerge were broken down, though she rode the hand-carved carousel with a look of bored contempt the first time. The mini golf went over better, especially when she saw the colored waterfalls. They allowed several groups to play through because the kids were being silly and having such a good time that the adults didn’t want to rush them.

“I miss this,” Kevin said as he sunk a difficult putt. “I used to golf all the time at the country club.”

“You still belong?” Hugo asked because Kevin hadn’t talked about the country club in anything but past tense.

“Yep.” Kevin stooped to retrieve his ball, then put it in his pocket to wait for the kids to finish that hole. “It’s been a long time since I’ve golfed, though. Too much going on in life.”

“You should go again, especially if it can help relax you like this,” Hugo said, hoping his words sounded encouraging. “Imagine what eighteen holes would do for you.”

“Yeah.”

“Come on, Dad, let’s go,” Finn shouted, yanking Hugo’s hand as he passed him by.

They ate in the café and bought vintage candies, and then they each chose a small toy. Hugo picked out a tin robot that spit sparks as it walked. It looked like something out of one of the cheesy B movies from the fifties that he loved so much.

Right before they left, they rode the carousel one last time, but Hugo noticed a genuine smile on Brooke’s face this time as she sat on a llama. Maybe she just didn’t like the animal she rode the first time around. It was good to see her able to let go and enjoy. It was good for all of them. It seemed as though it had been a long time since they’d been able to have fun doing something like this together. For most of the past nine months, they’d all been buried under the stress of illness, impending death, and then mourning. And even with the worry of custody, Kevin and Hugo had been able to enjoy the afternoon.

“What do you say we head back home and stop in Lake City? We can go out on the pier and watch the sailboats on Lake Pepin. Maybe even see some water skiers.”

“Yeah!” Finn said with enthusiasm.

“Okay.” Hugo laughed through the word and looked over at Kevin and Brooke to get their reactions, which were both more subdued. They looked so much alike at times, especially when they were somber, even if Kevin was blond and Brooke had hair as dark as Hugo’s own. Mostly, it was their gray eyes ringed in midnight. “Come on. Let’s spend some time throwing rocks in the Mississippi.”

That was exactly what they did. After arriving in Lake City, they walked down toward the shore, where they gathered pebbles and tossed them in the water, being careful to miss all the seagulls that dotted the shore. When Finn didn’t always
quite
miss (on purpose), Kevin decided it was time to head back up to the pier. But first, they had to climb up gigantic boulders piled atop one another. At the top there were gaps between flat boulders where the kids jumped from rock to rock, and then the pier became smooth and even. They sat on the side near the end of the railing—four people lined up with kids between the adults—and looked out at the boats docked in the marina and those floating out on the water.

Hugo stared at what he now thought of as his little family and couldn’t help but feel warmed. Nothing in the world could tear this apart. He’d never allow it.

“Wait a minute,” Brooke said as she crooked her neck and looked out at the water. “What’s going on here? You said this was a lake, but that’s a barge out there, isn’t it? Barges don’t go on lakes, do they?”

“Not usually, Olive,” Kevin said. “This is a lake in the middle of the Mississippi River.”

“Birthplace of water-skiing too,” Hugo added. “We should look at a satellite image.” He held out a hand, silently asking for Kevin’s phone since his own was shit. Kevin smirked with his
See?
face—he was constantly telling Hugo he needed a new phone. Hugo swiped the cell away from Kevin’s long fingers and found the lake on a map. He pulled back on the image so she could really see the satellite view. Then Brooke got it. Hugo passed Kevin’s phone back to him.

“Okay. I was confused. That makes more sense. There’s a lot of sailboats, but I don’t see any water skiers.”

“Me either,” said Finn with a pout.

“Who knows? Maybe they’re all at home eating supper,” Hugo joked. He looked over at Kevin and saw worry creasing his brow again. He’d been particularly quiet since they’d left the toy store, and Hugo knew he was working over a problem that didn’t have an immediate solution. Hugo stood and walked over so he could sit down next to Kevin. “You okay?” he whispered so the kids wouldn’t hear.

“Just thinking.” Kevin rested his head on Hugo’s shoulder and released a soft sigh as if he were suddenly contented. After being together for nearly a year as adults and over two years as teens, Hugo knew Kevin often needed touch to relax, so he slipped his arm around his back and squeezed his shoulder. The kids were pointing out various boats to each other that were docked in the marina and were chattering about how cool it would be to live on a boat, which then digressed into talk about how cold it would be in the winter, like the time they camped and it snowed. Soon they were discussing camping in great length as well. They were well distracted.

“We’ll figure it out,” Hugo tried to soothe in a quiet voice. “I’ll do anything I can to help. We can get Finn’s therapist to write a letter explaining the bear hug restraint so the Clarkes know you weren’t hurting him. It’s not like we’re torturing him, like I’m sure they’re imagining. It’s scary to watch when you don’t know what’s going on. The only reason I ever did it the first time he flipped out over the paint-by-numbers accident was because I’d seen my sister use it on my niece Quinn when she was little. It worked almost immediately for her, and she had such impulse-control issues. I never would’ve done the bear hug at all if he hadn’t been hurting himself and especially if I’d known this would happen. Of course, it works, but now they think I’m even more of a predator. If they want to do a background check on me or put me through a lie detector to make sure I’m not some crazy person, I’ll willingly do that. I’ll do anything to make sure nothing happens with them, okay?”

“You shouldn’t have to do that.”

“I know, but I’ll do it. That’s my point. I’ll do anything to not lose this.” Hugo gestured toward his family.

“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that sort of ridiculousness,” Kevin said with a scowl.

“Yeah. But what can I do right now for you? Anything?”

Kevin released an angry breath through his nose, blinked, and shook his head. “I just have to wait for Mark to deal with this. There’s not much I can actually
do
in the meantime.”

“Talk to me. You can do that,” encouraged Hugo.

“I know. I just need to figure out what to say. My mind’s going in so many directions. I kinda feel like it’s on the carousel still.”

Hugo nodded in complete understanding. “You can talk to me while your mind is going in circles too. I’m a good listener. Summer always thinks in circles, and I’m able to keep up with her.” Hugo smirked. “Hell, I think in
spirals
. Anyway….” Hugo switched gears so Kevin wouldn’t feel pressured. “We’d better get home soon. Lulu will need to go outside.”

“And I’m sure Finn will be hungry in a few minutes,” Kevin said, smiling over at his perpetually hungry son who seemed to be growing like a weed.

The drive home was filled with much more noise than their initial trip. The radio was on louder, and Brooke and Finn got caught up in typical sibling rivalry backseat arguments, which ended with Kevin quickly losing his temper and yelling. After that, it was mostly the radio and quiet conversations. Hugo could feel the tension rising in Kevin as he drove, and he knew he needed to do something to help him when they got home.

After supper, the doorbell rang, and Brooke and Finn were invited to play a game of kickball with the neighbor kids. “Can we go?” they begged, and Kevin readily agreed. His fuse was so short it was probably a good thing for them to burn off some energy, especially since the kids were both still a little grumpy from not sleeping long enough the night before. Kevin could probably do with some peace and quiet as well.

“Come on,” Hugo urged, getting Kevin to follow him upstairs, undress, and climb in the shower with him. He turned the controls on so all the multiple heads were used. Most of the time they stuck to the utilitarian rainfall showerhead and ignored all the bells and whistles Erin had integrated into the other walls when she had the shower redesigned several years ago. But that night, Hugo turned on the LED lighting effects embedded in the recycled glass tiles as well as the wall of water. Soon the entire bathroom was filled with steam, and it was hard to see. “Let the water work its magic,” Hugo said with a smile he knew Kevin saw.