Flaw (The Flaw Series) (21 page)

Jordyn:
I love you Aidan.

He never replies.

Becca

Pushing the doorbell with my elbow, I wait anxiously to see who will answer the door. My arms are full and I stick my bottom lip out and try to blow the bangs away from my face.

“Becca, come in.” Josh’s mom welcomes me with a huge smile. “What is this?”

“It’s just ziti. I wanted to make you guys something. I made this once and Josh really liked it so I figured I would make some for you guys.” I’m rambling. I hand her the foil-covered tray. “It’s still warm, if you wanted to have some now. Or you can put in the freezer for another time.”

“Oh, this is wonderful. I’ll get plates and we’ll have some right now. It smells delicious.” She motions for me to follow her into the kitchen.

“Is Josh here?”

“I’m right here.” Josh steps down the stairs, buttoning the top buttons of his crisp black shirt, which is tucked neatly into dark gray pants. His hand sweeps effortlessly through his silver hair. I can tell he’s freshly shaven from the soft hint of his aftershave. He is the picture of a distinguished gentleman, something right off the cover of a magazine.

“Are you on your way out?” I ask.

“I’ll let you guys talk.” His mother scurries away from us towards the kitchen, holding onto the tray of ziti.

“I was on my way out to meet someone,” he says, eyes directed at the floor.

“Oh, well, I was just stopping by to drop off food and I’m…I have a paper I have to work on and um, like other stuff I need to get to so, uh… have fun!”
I’m on a roll with the rambling tonight
. “I’m just gonna go say goodbye to your mom and I know your dad’s home again, so I wanted to see if there’s anything I can do.” Not only am I still rambling, but the sound of my voice echoing through his grand hall is making it seem even more pathetic. I smack my lips together to shut myself up, then turn on my heels to go find his mom.

“Wait,” he calls out, stopping me in my tracks, “I was actually planning on going to see you.”

Spinning slowly back around, I face him. “Oh, you were coming to see me? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. I wondered if you wanted to go out with me tonight. I thought maybe we could go to dinner, take a walk, go see a movie, whatever you want.” He takes a deep breath. “I want to know if you’ll go on a date with me?”

A loud gasp comes from around the corner and then we hear feet shuffling away. I can’t help but laugh as Josh shakes his head at his mother’s eavesdropping.

“A date?”

“A date.”

“Yes. I’ll go on a date with you.” My heart leaps with my quick response. Whether it’s due to what his mother said or Tessa, I think I’m ready to take a chance.

“You will?” His dark eyes lighten. “I know a great place in the city where we can go have dinner.”

I look down at what I’m wearing. I’m not even dressed nicely enough to go to a fast food restaurant, let alone to a nice place in the city. “We don’t need to go anywhere fancy. Why don’t we just go grab a slice somewhere?”

“Take her to The River Club,” his mother says. “I’ll call ahead for you and see if they have a table.” We still can’t see her but she’s obviously still there and listening.

“I got it covered, Mom. But thank you.” He grabs his leather coat from the closet. “Let’s go before she somehow winds up coming with us.”

“Bye, Helen,” I yell to her, stifling a giggle as Josh escorts me out the front door. He opens the passenger door to his car, making me feel like such a lady as I slip inside,
a lady in black sweats and a t-shirt
.

“Josh, I really need to go home and change. I can’t go anywhere looking like this. I -”

Soft hands caress my cheeks, his eyes connect with mine. “You look beautiful,” he says. I close my eyes as his lips meet mine for a tender kiss. One of his hands leaves my face, traveling up my neck. Chills course through me as his fingers gently comb through my hair and his tongue searches for mine. The sensation of his tongue in my mouth, the memory of what that tongue is capable of, forces a moan to explode from me.

“We can get take out and go back to my place,” I say, breathless and perhaps a little bit desperate.

Josh shakes through a shiver of his own and sits back straight in his seat. “No. This is a date. I want to do it right. I want to take you out, hold your hand, stare across the table at you and show off how beautiful my date is to everyone in the restaurant.”

Finding my voice after hearing him say those things to me is difficult. The sweet words - he really is good at them. But I need to say something and whisper, “I’m in sweats.”

“I’ll take you home to change.” His eyes twinkle. “But I think I’ll wait in the car. Probably safer if I don’t go up with you.”

When we get back to my place, he stays in the car while I run up and tear apart my closet in search of something suitable to wear. I have nothing. Every horrible article of clothing I have lands in a heap on my floor.
Disgusting
. I need better clothes. A dress I wore to my cousin’s wedding is gonna have to do. The bright red bra and panties I choose will have to make up for the lack of color in my black dress. I spray a quick puff of my favorite perfume on each side of my neck and then opt for a third spray on my stomach before slipping into my dress. Glossy lips and a flower in my hair are the finishing touches before I leave my room to go back downstairs.

As I’m walking to the door, there’s a knock.
Odd
. I open the door to see Josh. “I’m here to pick you up for our date.” He holds his hand out for me to take. I take his hand and even though this is the corniest thing ever, I think I actually blush. “You look gorgeous,” he says.

Okay, now I’m officially blushing.

Jordyn

The scissor snip cuts into the long braid going down my back.
Snip, snip, snip
. When it’s all done, they spin the chair around and a few people clap. The long thick braid is handed over, a donation.

I’m redefining the word “perfect” in my life and doing this feels perfect. I’m contributing in a personal way, giving a part of myself to someone in need. The new short hair, I like it. That’s all that matters.

I’ve been volunteering when I can at the children’s hospital. Doing anything they need from reading books and coloring to bringing coffee to the parents staying at the bedside of their children all night. And when needed…filling the role of a princess.

One of my days as a princess was spent at the hospital in the unit for pediatric burn patients. Excited faces beamed up at me, and some shy ones cowered into loved ones, but eventually most of them came around, coming in to get a closer look. The girls oohed and aahed, asking me a bunch of different questions. But the one they asked the most was, “Where is your prince?”

“I don’t have one,” I told them. I’m no longer married. Aidan won’t talk to me or see me. He’s cut off all communication. I had no choice but to sign the papers. He’s not my husband anymore. My prince is gone.

“But you’re so beautiful.” A small face raw with red blisters gazed up at me. Her eyes were pained, glossing over. “How could someone so beautiful not have a prince? The beautiful princess always meets the handsome prince and they fall in love and get married.”

Forcing away the sob building up inside, I managed to smile at her. “Remember, beauty is on the inside.” I put my finger on the tip of her nose and a huge grin took over her face. A perfect little girl.

“You ready to go meet everyone for dinner?” My mom’s voice interrupts my thoughts. She came with me to show her support while I donated my hair. My mom has been very supportive these last few weeks. Even after the horrible way she saw me act towards the man I love, she still supports me.

“Yes, I’m ready.” I’m not ready. Not at all. Facing my family again after what happened last time is hard. But I haven’t seen them since that day and I can’t go on avoiding them forever. It’s time I addressed what happened with them.

My mother and I are the last to arrive at the restaurant and we seat ourselves at the large table of family members. Compliments for my new short hair are sent in my direction. Everybody applauds my selfless donation and tells me how wonderful I am.

I’m not wonderful. They know this. They all saw how un-wonderful I really am.

I hide behind the menu, away from the people who saw me at my worst. They witnessed me saying vile, shameful things about someone I love.

Small talk chatters around me. Tessa tells me that she went to see Josh. I’m glad to see Tessa is not holding a grudge over the way I spoke to her last time. We discuss his father’s progress and she asks if I know Becca. The way she smiles tells me Josh most likely shared his feelings about Becca with her.

“Jordyn,” my uncle says across the table, “Where’s Aidan? Is he joining us tonight?”

Forks hit the plates and everybody falls silent. No one looks at me. My uncle had been with the men smoking cigars when I made my disgusting scene and apparently he hadn’t been filled in.

“No, he’s not able to make it tonight,” my mother answers for me. “So, what’s everybody ordering?” She tries to turn the attention away from me. My mother knows everything, the wedding, the annulment, and the way I still feel.

“Mom, it’s okay.” I stand up. “I need to say something to all of you.” It’s hard to meet their faces but I have to do this. “Last time we were all together some of you witnessed me saying some very ugly things about a very beautiful person. Aidan is amazing. I was lucky to have ever been able to find someone like him. But I ruined it. I thought I was perfect and, well, what would everyone think if I brought someone home who wasn’t? But what I realize now is that Aidan is the one who is perfect and I’m the one with the big flaw.”

The tears build. I’m about to cry in front of all these people. Things like this are okay, I remind myself. I let the first tear slip out. Tessa, who’s sitting next to me, reaches for my hand and squeezes it. Her gesture makes the tears come faster. I mutter a quick “excuse me,” and dash away from the table.

I freshen up in the bathroom, expecting one of my female family members to come in any second and offer me comfort. Tell me everything will be fine. The bathroom door doesn’t open. I splash cold water on my face, removing what little makeup I have left, patting a paper towel over my red blotchy face. A few more minutes go by and finally I open the door to return back to the table.

Tucker’s there leaned up against the wall, feet crossed at the ankles outside the ladies room.

“They sent
you
?” I raise my eyebrows.

“I volunteered.” He puts his arm around my shoulders. “Come on, let’s go take a ride. We can go somewhere and talk.”

“What’s there to talk about, Tucker? I said what I had to say. I feel better now. Let’s just go back in.”

“At least come outside with me for a minute. I want to show you something.” He leads the way through the parking lot to his red pickup. He pulls down the tail gate and motions for me to hop up and sit.

“What do you want to show me?” I ask, my legs dangling off the back of his truck.

Tucker unbuttons his shirt and tugs down to expose his upper arm to me. His boring lightning bolt has been brought to life. Color, depth, lettering, it’s been redesigned into a work of art. My jaw drops and I jump down from the truck to examine it closely.

“Are you more surprised that I went to Aidan or that I had him tattoo Tessa’s name on my arm?”

“Aidan did that?” Knowing it’s Aidan’s work I feel the need to touch it. “When? What did he say?”

“He’s hurting, but I know he loves you.”

The air leaves my lungs. “He told you that?”

“No,” Tucker shakes his head. “We’re guys. We don’t talk about that kind of stuff. The guy had a needle in my arm. You think we were sitting there talking about our feelings?”

“Then, wait, I’m confused. If you didn’t talk to him about us, then why are you even telling me this? What’s your end point, Tucker?” I rest an anxious hand on my hip.

“I didn’t talk to him about you guys and what happened, but I did bring up all the charity work you’ve been doing. I told him about the event you’re hosting for the Children’s Foundation at the hospital and I mentioned how we were all helping out. I asked him if he would help out as well.”

“And?” I hold my breath.

“He said of course. I told him you would be in touch.”

“Tucker, I love him. I love Aidan,” I blurt out desperately.

“I know.”

“And I messed up really bad.”

“I know.”

“I’m going to do whatever it takes to get him back.”

Tuckers leans forward and kisses the top of my forehead. “I know.”

Becca

We didn’t have sex on our first date. We may have had sex before, but the night of our first date we didn’t. The memory of our first date is one of pure perfection. He did everything right. Shockingly, so did I. Date two was just as amazing.

This is date three. That’s a good sign,
right
? I try not to overthink it and pull nervously at the new shimmery silver dress I bought for the occasion, a romantic dinner overlooking the lights of the city.

“The no sex thing is very sweet,” I say, reaching over for his leg, “but I think tonight when you walk me to the door you should come inside.”

The yellow traffic light turns red. He slams his foot on the brake, avoiding bumping into the car stopped in front of us by just a hair. Thankfully there wasn’t a car behind us. I get an anxious side glance but no reply from him. Oh no. Should I be worried?

There’s a nervous tug in my stomach as we walk up the stairs to my apartment. Something doesn’t seem right. I may have let my guard down too fast. I fiddle with my keys trying to find the right one for the bolt. “Are you coming inside?”

Josh leans his shoulder into the wall, waiting for my eyes to meet his. “If I come in, is it so you can
comfort
me?”

I snap my head away, fixating on the key in the door, unsure how to reply. Is that what all this is? He wants to know if there are any strings attached if he comes in. “What do you want me to say?”