Flesh: Part Fifteen (The Flesh Series Book 15) (5 page)

BOOK: Flesh: Part Fifteen (The Flesh Series Book 15)
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I
know.” I stand, sighing. “I'm sorry, Derrick. I truly am.
Had I known this is what would happen, I never would have messed with
him.”


I
highly doubt that,” he mutters under his breath.

The angry part of me
wants to counter, but I know I should just let him win this one. He
does have every right to be angry. We've been working on Lucian's
interior design project forever, and for him to just rip it away from
us...


At
least we're getting partial payment,” I tell him, sounding
hopeful. “So it wasn't a complete waste of time.”


You
mean that Environ Design is getting partial payment.” He glares
at me with daggers in his eyes. “That doesn't mean shit for
us.”

I nod, giving up.
Nothing will make him happy right now. I'm not sure why I even tried.

Defeated, I return
to my desk to stare at my phone some more. The heaviness of
everything going on is suffocating, and I can't wait for noon to come
so I can go home and crawl into bed and just sleep the rest of the
day away. I'm to the point where I don't want to think about
anything. Not Lucian or Janice or the interior design contract. I
just want to be selfish and hide away in my cupcake pajamas and
pretend like today never happened.

***

Janice's car is in
the apartment complex parking lot when I get home. I was kind of
hoping I had missed her, that maybe she had left for work early or
something. I don't know. I just don't want to deal with her right
now, not when I'm feeling so low.

I drag myself inside
and am happy to find the living room empty. Janice is still holed up
in her room, which either means that she's upset or getting ready for
work. It gives me the chance to sneak into my bedroom.

I change into my
cupcake pajamas and crawl into bed for a nice long nap though I keep
my phone by my side in case Lucian decides to call me. I know he's
still at work, so I shouldn't hope for a response anytime soon.

The numbness I'm
feeling inside helps to lull me to sleep. That's the glorious thing
about depression. It can make you sleep hard and long.

It's a good three
hours before I wake up, and I feel every bit as exhausted as I did
when I first laid down. The body can be strange like that at times.
Still, I'm grateful for the escape from reality.

I pull myself out of
bed and decide to bake a cake. Screw my diet. Lucian is being a dick.
I think I deserve some cake, and I'm sure that Janice would
appreciate me making it as well.

With a lazy smile on
my lips, I emerge from my bedroom, my bare feet dragging across the
carpet. When I'm halfway down the hall, I hear the television, and my
heart sinks. Then Janice comes into view, curled up on the sofa
hugging her legs. All she has on is a long band t-shirt and a pair of
underwear. She turns to me, looking startled and a bit disappointed.


I
thought you were at work.” Janice leans forward to grab the
remote and turns off the television.

My gaze instantly
falls to her arms, to the tiny cuts there. They look better now that
the blood has dried. Not so horrific.

When she stands up
to leave, I hold my hand out to stop her. “You're fine. I'm
just going to make a cake.”


I'm
fine?” She raises an eyebrow as if that was a stupid thing for
me to say.


No
work today?” I ask as I make my way to the kitchen.

She settles back on
the sofa. “I called in. I'm in too much pain to be on my feet
all day doing all of that moving around.”


That
makes sense. You looked to be in pretty bad shape last night.”
I open the pantry to pull out a box of chocolate cake mix.


I
am in bad shape. And so are you, judging by the pj's.” She nods
towards me.


It
was a rough day. Lucian canceled his interior design contract.”
I set the box on the kitchen counter and open one of the cabinets to
pull out a mixing bowl.


Oh,”
she doesn't sound the least bit surprised.


Yeah.
I still don't know why. I texted and called him, but he hasn't
answered. I think that maybe he's mad at me, but I have no clue why.”
I try to shrug it off. Just talking about Lucian is making me
depressed again. This is one of the reasons why I wish she wasn't
here. I don't really feel like talking. I just want to eat my cake
and forget everything.

Janice doesn't say
anything. She just stares at the television screen while I mix and
pour the cake. The silence is awkward, but I'm thankful for it.

After I put the cake
in the oven, I come to join her on the sofa. When I lean over to pick
up the remote, she grabs my wrist. Her grip is firm, and the sudden
action catches me off guard. I glance over at her, confused.


We
need to talk,” she tells me, and her eyes have that serious
look in them that says something is very wrong.

I lean back, feeling
my body begin to tense. “Alright, talk.”


I
don't know how to say this. I don't even know where to begin. You're
going to be so mad at me.” Her gaze shifts to the ceiling.

All of the horrible
feelings I was trying to push down surge to the surface. I already
know what this is about. My hands are shaking just thinking about it.
Hopefully, I'm wrong. I'm probably not though. I've never seen Janice
look more guilty in all the time that I've known her.

I wait for her to
continue, but she doesn't. She simply sits there, staring at the
ceiling as if she's praying for forgiveness. Every passing second is
excruciating. My nerves feel like they're on fire with anger and an
overwhelming sense of betrayal.


Did
you fuck him?” I ask quietly. Part of me doesn't want the
answer, but I know that I need it. I need to hear it so that I can
hate them both. So that I can fall apart and scream and throw shit.


No.”
She shakes her head, finally allowing it to fall.

I suck in a breath
between clenched teeth. “But he did this to you.”


Yes.”
She wraps her arms around herself. Her voice is unsteady and I can
see the tears forming in her eyes. I can't feel sorry for her though.

Everything in me
wants to rage. It would be so easy for me to lash out at her right
now. I want to choke her and punch her and be dramatic. Ask her why.
Cry like a lunatic. The anger is definitely there, but it has
transcended anything I've ever felt before.

The two people I
care about the most. I don't know what they did together. I know some
of it, just by looking at Janice. But oddly, I don't care to know the
rest. And then the realization hits me. I don't care. I don't care
about Lucian. I don't care about Janice. They could both catch on
fire, and I wouldn't piss on them to put them out. Neither one of
them matters to me anymore. Not one bit. It's as if something inside
of me has broken and part of my soul has slipped out, the part that
has any compassion for those who have stabbed me directly in the
heart.

I stand abruptly,
turning from Janice to go to my room.


Where
are you going?” she sobs.


I'm
leaving,” I reply plainly. “I'm leaving, and I'm not
coming back.”

From the Author

I hope you've
enjoyed Flesh: Part Fifteen. Part Sixteen will be available shortly.

To further
support this author, please post a review after you finish reading
this book.

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