Flirting With Magick (25 page)

I bit my lip. Well, as long as we were being honest, and I had obviously
hit a nerve with him... part of me still wanted to bring him down a fe
w more notches, considering how suddenly he had left.

“Well...”

He swung his head around in surprise. Bingo!

“He wasn’t?”

Here goes, in the name of honesty.

“No, but it wasn’t a relationship,” I paused before I stuck the knife
in. “Just sex.”

“Just once?”

“No,” sticking the knife in deeper, “for a couple of months.” And twisting
. "We met at a work thing, when I was still with at LMM, but I've no reason to see him again."

“Oh.” His face darkened, and for a second I thought he was abo
ut
to show me the door. As I had been more than loyal in our relationship
,
he had never had any reason to feel jealous or insecure, but the look o
n his face was certainly uncalled for.

“What the fuck, Josh?“ I stood up, furious at his attitude and about
to walk out myself. “
You
left
me,
remember? What do you expect?” I
picked up my bag and stormed towards the door. “Did you seriously
think I would sit around and wait for you to get your shit together?”

“Abby...” He got to me before I grabbed the doorknob, clasped my
arm, and pulled me back into a hug, burying my head in the space between his chin and shoulder. “I’m sorry... I’m sorry.” He let out a huge sigh, “It’s just that when you told me about the first guy... I was so... just so trying to keep it together because I know I have no right to get jealous... I just...” He stepped back, letting me go and held his hands up, defeated.

Tears were threatening to spill from his eyes. In the years we dated
,
I only saw him cry twice: once when his grandfather passed away and
once when we had a fight so huge I had kicked him out of my flat and
told him our relationship was over. We made up the next day. Funny
thing was I couldn’t even remember what that argument was about.
At least we never had to argue about other people, until now. The sam
e
feelings of helplessness and despair were forming in the pit of my
stomach. I hated those feelings; Josh leaving, discovering Sean was
really with Bronwyn, seeing Scott’s arm around Tanya, hearing about
his new girlfriend. It was then that I understood Josh’s overreaction.
Right now, he and I were a perfect pair-– both broken, upset, and hur
t. I traced his face with my eyes. His straight nose with the slight turn
at the end and the pale freckles across the bridge, the smattering of
stubble along his jaw, the tiny brown birthmark just in front of his ear
,
the single dark fleck in his left iris, the way he pursed his lips and
frowned when he was thinking too much
—
all the things that were so
familiar to me. Maybe he really was "the one." There must be some reason why he came back; maybe the spell was bringing him to me after all. It was certainly possible that we just needed to spend some
time apart to grow in our own ways before we could be together. Th
at sort of thing happened all the time.

“Listen.” I took his hand. “This is like our first date again, okay? You didn’t care about my past then, so why should you now?”

“Okay.” His voice was barely a whisper. He wrapped his arms
around me and crushed his mouth on mine, again with depth and
intimacy. More like a second date. Holding my body against his, his
tongue searched my mouth frantically. I could feel his growing hardness
against my belly. Okay, third date. I didn’t push his hand away whe
n
he moved it from my face and found my nipple through the thin fab
ric
of my dress, my involuntary groan only encouraging him further. W
e walked as one to the bed-– the one I had been so sure only an hour earlier I would not end up in. By the time he unzipped my dress, we were back to being a couple with years of history.

"Do you still have that implant in your arm? The contraceptive one?"
He asked as he lay me down. "I've got condoms."

"It doesn't come out for another year, but can we still use a condom
?" I didn’t want it to be that familiar again just yet. I shook my head at him and giggled as he pulled my dress off in the way he had done so many times before. "I can't believe you brought condoms."

"A guy can only hope."

The next morning I awoke and stretched. My muscles ached in
protest, while a lingering soreness between my legs reminded me of the
night before. Josh’s hands and mouth had been all over me, hardly givi
ng
me any time to think before he took me over the edge again and again
.
Gone was the predictable Josh of the past. This one was full of surprises
.

He walked out of the bathroom wearing a towel around his waist, and
in the light of day, I saw that his body was more defined and muscular
.

“Have you been working out?” I asked, knowing he would be happy
I noticed.

“You’re awake! Yeah, I was a bit bored in Sydney.” He threw off the
towel and dived in under the covers next to me. “Are you impressed?”

“
Very.” I squeezed his bulging bicep as he hooked his arm arou
nd me and pulled me tight against him.

“I don’t want to be presumptive, but are we back together now?
Or did you just use me for sex?” His voice was jolly, but I couldn’t
miss the bitter undertone.

I stroked his arm. “If we get back together, Josh, we can’t go bac
k to the way we were.”

His finger traced spirals on my shoulderblade, and he searched my face
for what seemed like ages.

“Let's live together.” He said it so quietly it took a few seconds for h
is words to register.

“
Are you serious?” I propped myself up on my elbow. Josh seeme
d to have changed in so many ways; living together had been way off his radar before.

“I mean it.” His voice was still quiet. “This is me... getting my sh
it
together.” He dotted gentle kisses on my face. “So what do you say?”

THERE WERE THREE APARTMENTS
and one townhouse on our
list. Josh was calm and happy as we weaved our way through treelined
streets to inspect what could possibly be our new home together. The
pointy end of Spring had always excited me, the promise of something
new being fulfilled and Summer nearly here, and I felt it again as I
gazed at the white and pink blossoms along the side of road, especially
now that it coincided with my own, personal springtime.

“You excited?” He squeezed my thigh as he brought the car to a stop outside an apartment block not unlike my current abode.

I couldn’t help but smile. “Yes.” I leaned over to kiss him, taking in the enthusiasm in his eyes. “House hunting is always fun.”

“And it would sure beat staying at Troy’s.” He stated, getting out
of the car.

“I bet he’d be happy to have you out?”

“Why do you think I’ve been staying at your place?" We climbed the first flight of stairs, and he took my hand. “Did they say this was on the second floor?”

We had picked up the keys from the property manager, and I now
unlocked the door of number twelve.

We were greeted by a sun-filled, open space with ceiling to floor windows at one end. It was only the first inspection of our day, but I
was already falling in love. As much as I adored my little one-bedroom
home, every apartment we inspected had the promise of change, and of a future-– with Josh.

He kept hold of my hand as we wandered through the rooms,
mentally ticking boxes. I wanted a big kitchen, he wanted a study, and
we figured we would go for two bedrooms—a spare should we have guests or, if the past was any indication, were fighting.

After the long morning, we relaxed in a coffee shop across from the
last property manager. My head was crammed with questions: carpet,
floorboards, or tiles? Could a double bed fit in the smaller room? Was
the kitchen usable and how easy would it be to entertain? Should we apply for any of the places we saw today or should we keep looking?

Josh stirred sugar into his espresso and flicked through the brochures
. “How would it be for you to get to work from the first one?”

“The last one was closer,” I admitted, “but I think I prefer the livin
g area of the first.”

“Which did you like the best?”

I got an upside down view of the papers as he shuffled them. “Th
e
third one.” It reminded me of a bigger version of my current flat, plus
it was only a short drive to my office, or a reasonable walk. “You?”

He brought the third brochure to the front and tapped them all on
the table to even them up. “I’m happy wherever you’re happy, sweetheart
. That’s the one then.”

“
Are you sure?” Whatever happened to the Josh who would have
fought me for the one closer to his office (number one and two) or the
bigger study nook (number four)? “Why aren’t you arguing with me like you normally would?”

“As I said, Ab, I want you to be happy.”

“You have to live there, too, you know.” I smiled.

“I’ll be there with you." He met my grin. "Besides, after all I did to you, it’s the least I can do.”

“Thank you.”

“So how about we go back and fill in the application form before someone else snaps it up?”

Moon Phase: Waxing

Burn a brown candle, and as it burns, take a piece of paper and
write down everything you wish to have in your new home; eg. loca
tion, number of bedrooms, price, special features.

Focus on and visualise yourself living happily in your new home.

Blow out the candle and thank the universe. Carry the piece of paper with you when you go on your house inspections. Once you have found your dream home, don’t forget to thank the universe.

WHY I LOVE JOSH:

Someone who puts this much effort into getting someone back must mean it.

He’s romantic.

I know him.

He knows me.

On Friday morning, my mood was apparent to everyone in the office. The property manager had just called and told me the contract
for the apartment was waiting for us to sign. I told her I would go in that
afternoon, and Josh was free all day and would pop in and sign as well
.

“Holy crap, guess who that was!” Rachel exclaimed, slamming the phone
down as I passed the front desk. Her blonde curls framed her
round, pretty face and her eyes, opened in curiosity, looked larger tha
n ever. “You seem super happy today. What's up?”

“How about one question at a time.” I pulled an envelope out of my handbag and sat down at my workstation. “I need a coffee. Can I be a real bitch and ask you to get it for me, please? I’ll go next time, I promise. I just need to get this letter out.”

“
Sure.” Rachel was unperturbed by my request. “But that was Sean
on the phone, and I’m not telling you any more until I get back.”

I placed a ten dollar note in her hand. “Get one for yourself, too.”
I said, not sure how to react otherwise. Did I want to know any more about Sean? When Rachel left, I took out the letter from my current property manager and wrote a response:

Dear Ms Hill,

Please be advised that I will not be renewing my lease for the above property.

Yours sincerely,

Abigail Williams

Stuff Sean
, I thought as I hit the print button. Here I was leaving my
current house to move in with my
boyfriend
, a title that Sean never
actually earned. I thought of the last time I saw him, how angry I was
at being unknowingly the other woman. Maybe they did break up, an
d
somewhere along the line, got back together. In which case, I was nothing
more than a distraction, a band-aid for his Bronwyn shaped wound.

JOSH SAT AT MY DINING TABLE,
typing studiously on his notebook
computer, while I sprayed perfume into the air and walked through the mist. "Are you sure you don't want to come out?" I asked, mainly out of politeness rather than really wanting him to.

"Who did you say was playing?"

"
Reckless Choice
; I've seen them a few times now. They're really goo
d. Maybe your entertainment writer might like to check them out."

He didn’t look up as he spoke. "I've got a lot of work here." I waite
d
for his usual line, and the reason I rarely used to go out, ‘I was hoping
you'd keep me company'. But this time, he simply said, "You and Kat
e have a good time, okay?"

I bent down and kissed his cheek, still not used to, but beginning to like the new Josh. "Thanks."

It was déjà vu in an uncomfortable sense when Kate and I walked
into Springers. The music was familiar, as was the voice singing, but the
crowd had doubled since we were there last. One thing was differ
ent;
Kate and I weren’t single this time. Her boyfriend was on stage beating
the crap out of some drums, and mine was back at my place working
and happy for me to head out and leave him to his computer and sports
results. It was better, anyway, for him to not witness any awkwardness
with Scott that I would later have to explain.