Flowers on the Mersey (22 page)

She could not hope it any more than Rebekah as the days passed. In January a Free Irish government was set up and the keys of Dublin Castle handed over to the Dáil. A peace treaty was confirmed under a new President, Arthur Griffiths. All seemed to be going well.

As winter turned to spring there was one person in the household happy about the approaching wedding day, although neither her aunt nor Hannah was attending the ceremony because it was in an Anglican church.

‘We’ll have a bit of peace at last,’ said the maid with obvious satisfaction as she wielded the heavy iron on Rebekah’s silk underwear.

‘I’m not going to America, dear Hannah,’ murmured Rebekah, hurriedly removing her knickers.

Hannah gave her an ugly look. ‘He’ll soon stop thy gallop, miss. A couple of babies and thee’ll know what life’s about.’

‘I already do. Did you ever have any children, Hannah?’ asked Rebekah with an innocent air.

Hannah’s dark eyes glistened. ‘Thee thinks thee’s smart. But if thee dies in childbed, I’ll have the last laugh.’

Rebekah smiled twistedly. ‘You don’t pull any punches, do you, Hannah? But I’ll survive, just to spite you, and visit often just so we can stay friends.’ She blew her a kiss and left the room, wishing the maid did not hate her so much.

Rebekah chose Edwina for her bridesmaid. Her aunt did not approve of the choice. ‘She’s no maid,’ she muttered. ‘Surely thou can find someone else more respectable?’

‘There is no one else,’ said Rebekah, controlling her impatience and thinking that at least once she was married she would be mistress of her own home, though deeply regretted that Brigid was not her bridesmaid and Daniel her groom, but there was no getting out of it now. Joshua had been jilted once before and however nervous she was she could not serve him such a turn. For better or for worse, in a few days’ time she would marry him.

Rebekah was feeling faint, unreal, wondering if anyone had ever passed out at their own wedding. That morning she had wanted to run away but Edwina’s timely arrival with the bouquet of spring flowers had caused her to pull herself together. Her white-gloved hand tightened on Mr McIntyre’s arm, because it was he she had asked to give her away, despite Joshua’s disapproval; he had offered an elderly uncle whom she had never met. To her surprise Aunt Esther had changed her mind, almost at the last minute, about coming to the wedding, and now sat as stiff as a poker in a sparsely populated pew as the organ played ‘Here comes the Bride’. Some of the older children from the Orphanage – boys in sailor suits and girls in blue dresses and white pinafores – sat a few rows behind her.

It was after all not a splendid social affair because Joshua had come round to mentioning his being left at the altar before. ‘I’d rather not have exactly the same crowd,’ he had muttered. ‘Just a few selected people.’ So there were to be only twenty at the Breakfast to be held in his house. Rebekah had considered asking him about his first fiancée but he had frozen her off. She wondered if he had really loved her and was curious enough to want to ask questions but did not care to insist when it was obvious he did not want to talk.

The aisle was longer than Rebekah remembered but still not long enough. A few more seconds and she would reach Joshua, where he stood with his best man, David Beecham, who was prematurely bald, and owned a shipyard. She wondered why he had not asked his cousin, Mr Eaton.

She was there and her knees were knocking. After a brief glance at Joshua, handsome in his morning suit, Rebekah turned and gave her bouquet to Edwina, who winked at her. Suddenly it did not matter what she did or said, she thought vaguely, deep inside she still belonged to Daniel.

Conversation bubbled, hissed and buzzed about Rebekah’s ears, as, champagne glass in hand, she circulated among her guests, heedless of the fact that the trailing lace veil she wore was in danger of being trodden on.

A grey kid-gloved hand suddenly gripped her
duchesse satin sleeve, causing her to stop, and she found herself being scrutinised by a pair of reptilian eyes. ‘I hope you’re not too young.’ The voice was gruff. ‘The other one seemed sensible enough and able to handle Joshua, but she let me down. It was Emma, no doubt. Their mother was never strong and could behave very strangely. Emma was like her, and one can’t blame Joshua for putting her in that place in Formby-by-the-Sea. It was just as well she went the way she did, leaving the field clear for you.’

‘What place?’ asked Rebekah.

The woman ignored her question. ‘Give him a few children and I’m sure he’ll be all right. War unsettles men. You read about it in the newspapers all the time.’ She patted Rebekah’s arm and before she could recover from her astonishment, the elderly woman had crossed over to Esther who was peering curiously at a china statuette.

Edwina suddenly appeared at Rebekah’s elbow. ‘That was Amelia Green,’ she marvelled. ‘I never thought of her being related to the shipping Greens.’

Rebekah thoughtfully sipped her champagne and gazed at the old lady and her aunt. ‘They’re a pair of characters. They’d look good on the mantelshelf if you could shrink them.’

‘Shrink your Aunt Esther and Amelia Green!’ Edwina grinned. ‘She’d knock you out with her umbrella first. She was a suffragette. What advice was she giving you? To stand up to your man?’

Rebekah shook her head and surprised her friend by saying, ‘What’s at Formby-by-the-Sea besides the sea?’

Edwina shrugged. ‘I’ve seldom been there. There’s a village and a lighthouse … woods and fields. They grow asparagus. Why? You’re not going there on honeymoon, are you?’ she said jokingly.

‘The honeymoon is a secret,’ said Joshua, making them both jump as he came up behind them. He filled both their glasses.

‘What’s so secret about Ireland?’ said Rebekah, raising her glass to him.

‘Ireland!’ Edwina spluttered out champagne. ‘If you heard Father on the subject you wouldn’t be talking about going to Ireland. It’s still much too dangerous for a honeymoon.’

‘My sentiments exactly,’ said Joshua, putting the bottle on a convenient occasional table.

Rebekah’s smile faded. ‘But you promised! You said—’

‘My dear, you said when the fighting ends,’ he interrupted in a gentle voice. ‘The fighting still goes on and it’s not just in Belfast, where it broke out first after the truce. It’s happening all over the place because North and South can’t agree where the borders should be. It could end in civil war because the Dáil is at outs with itself. It’s what one expects of amateurs in government. But at least if there’s a civil war they’ll be killing each other and not British
soldiers. My man’s already been threatened and we had a fire at the farm.’

‘You never told me,’ stammered Rebekah, her fingers tightening on the stem of the glass. ‘How much of it was destroyed?’

‘It’s still standing but that’s all I know. Now let’s change the subject. We’ll be leaving soon and I want to have a few words with David.’

He left Rebekah and Edwina staring at each other. ‘It’s for the best,’ said the older woman weakly.

Rebekah swore and downed her drink in one go.

‘Where are we?’ Rebekah stretched and yawned. Disappointment and doubt had crowded in once she had known there was no Ireland at the end of the journeying and she had drunk too much champagne. Only vaguely did she remember boarding the train.

‘Chester, my dear.’ Joshua’s gaze washed over her. ‘I’m sure you’ll like it. It’s very attractive – medieval in places. The Romans were here, and it has some decent shops. If you’re good, I’ll let you have some money to spend.’

‘If I’m good?’ She stared at him.

‘Don’t look so frightened, darling. I’m sure you will be.’ He smiled and took their cases from the luggage rack, leaving the carriage.

Rebekah’s throat tightened with nerves but she held her head high, wrapped the white fox fur
around her shoulders and concentrated on walking in a straight line as she followed him.

Joshua’s choice of honeymoon hotel could not have been more perfect if your taste ran to oak beams and white-painted plaster, luxury and a view of the tree-lined River Dee. She wondered whose money they were spending, his or hers.

As she stood gazing out of the window, steeling herself to make a move to take off her clothes and don the white silk nightdress, he said, ‘Come and undress me.’

‘What?’ Her voice came out as a harsh whisper.

‘You heard me, my sweet. Come away from the window and do as I tell you.’

Rebekah turned and looked at him. He had taken off his jacket and was in his shirt sleeves. There was a glass of whisky in his hand. ‘I’m tired,’ she stammered.

‘Of course you are. The sooner you’re in bed the better.’ He crooked his finger. ‘Come, my darling. It’s natural that you’ll be a little nervous but I’ll be good to you.’

Her hands curled into fists. ‘Can’t I have a drink?’

‘You’ve drunk enough.’

‘But it’s our wedding night.’ She cleared her throat. ‘A drink to celebrate?’

Suddenly the smile was wiped from his face. ‘I want you to remember this night, not be in a
drunken stupor! Now come here, or must I fetch you?’ he barked.

Rebekah moved, frightened by Joshua’s change of mood. It was all right for him to drink but not her it seemed. There was a glitter in his eyes that reminded her of her father when he had beaten her that day she had walked to the bay with Daniel. She stopped a foot away from him, her eyes fixed on his tie. How she wished he was Daniel.

Suddenly Joshua’s arm shot out and his fingers fastened on the front of her peach chiffon blouse, pinching her skin so that she cried out and struggled. Relentlessly he pulled her against him. ‘What is the matter with you?’ he said through gritted teeth. ‘Although your shyness does you credit, it’s a bit late. You weren’t averse to my attention before. I hope it’s for the right reasons, my darling, and that you are a virgin? That O’Neill didn’t have you?’

‘Why do you have to bring up Daniel now?’ said Rebekah unevenly. ‘Why won’t you let him lie in peace?’

‘Because I hate him,’ said Joshua, emphasising every word.

‘What? Why do you hate him?’ Her voice had risen. ‘What has he ever done to you?’

‘Keep your voice down!’ he muttered. ‘O’Neill turned against me like the others! Dared to tell me, “You’re making a mistake, sir!” Called me a coward!’ His chest heaved. ‘Rebekah, don’t you see
what that does to a man?’ His pale eyes widened. ‘I thought he liked me! Even my father was the same. My brother was first with him, and he spoilt Emma soft. I was sent to Ireland to learn about farming and hated it. I wanted to come back but he said no.’

‘You said you knew nothing about the animals on the farm – that you’d spent hardly any time in Ireland.’ She was puzzled. ‘Why lie?’

His mouth tightened. ‘I didn’t want to talk about it. The war came and I joined the navy. I’d always loved ships. I met O’Neill when the government requisitioned his ship. We were friendly at first.’ He took a deep breath.

‘And?’ she demanded.

‘He questioned my judgement. My knowing what was right. He was as bad as father, not believing I could have done better by Green’s than my brother. He made a right mess of everything. It was a good job he died when he did or we’d have been bankrupt. Then I met Muriel and fell in love.’ He laughed. ‘She left me a note saying that she had only been going to marry me because she thought she needed a man after her fiancé was killed in the war, but at the last minute she couldn’t go through with it. If she hadn’t gone to Africa as a missionary, I would have cooked her goose.’ He smiled. ‘Now you’re a sensible girl, my darling, so you’ll do just what I say, won’t you?’

‘Will I?’ she stammered.

‘Of course. Come here.’

She stared at him, suddenly too frightened to move. What had he meant about cooking Muriel’s goose? She jumped when he caught hold of her arm and instinctively tried to pull away but he seized her other wrist and, crossing her arms, twisted her round and flung her on to the bed. She rolled over and almost managed to get to her feet but he was too quick for her. He pushed her down on the bed, leaning over her and gripping her with his knees one either side of her. He tore open her blouse and despite her attempts to free herself, dragged it off. ‘Joshua, please don’t be so rough,’ she cried.

‘Why? I thought you girls liked being manhandled. You read about it all in
The Sheik
,’ he said in a clipped voice, and hit her arm away.

‘That’s only a book,’ she stuttered, on the edge of a scream, as he forced her to part with her chemise with a couple of slaps. ‘I don’t want to do it,’ she stammered. ‘I don’t—’

‘It’s too late for that.’ His eyes sparkled. ‘You’re my wife and I can do what I want with you. Fight as much as you like, I quite enjoy a struggle.’

She suddenly remembered how it had been with Daniel and could have screamed. ‘I won’t fight you.’

‘What a pity, but perhaps wise.’ He smiled as with one hand he kept both of hers imprisoned over her head. She did not move as he forced up her skirt and took off her cami-knickers. She would lie as still as if she was dead. Her eyes closed as Joshua fondled
her breasts and crushed her with his weight. A sob bubbled in her throat as he poked at her down below, was pushing, forcing his way inside her. Her whole body tensed. It hurt! She had not expected it to hurt. Her fingers and toes curled, teeth clenched. She bit back a scream but could not prevent a groan. Dear God, make it be over soon! He ground his way into her. Up down, up down, up down! His stomach slapped against hers and he was moaning. A scream broke from her as he pressed down on her with terrible force. A few minutes later she realised what Daniel must have done to prevent her having a baby, and also that she no longer wanted a child by Joshua.

The breakfast tray had just been taken away. Rebekah had managed half a slice of toast and a cup of tea but Joshua had eaten a full English breakfast. Now he lay back against the pillows, smoking. ‘You were a virgin. I’m glad you didn’t cheat me,’ he murmured, opening the morning paper.

Rebekah wanted to say, Yes, I did, but dare not. ‘You hurt me,’ she whispered. Down below she throbbed as if that part of her had a pulse of its own. Her nipples were sore and her ribs felt as if they had been crushed in a vice. He had taken her twice more during the night and that morning.

‘It was inevitable. I didn’t really expect you to enjoy it. Some women don’t. Especially at first.’ He tapped ash into the ashtray.

She thought how she had enjoyed that very first time with Daniel. ‘You made sure I wouldn’t enjoy it by mentioning Daniel and treating me like an object for your pleasure,’ she could not prevent herself from saying. ‘Why tell me that you hated him? Why last night?’

‘Because you said you loved him and you’ve never once said you love me,’ he said coldly.

‘But that’s bloody stupid!’ She ran a hand through her short hair. ‘You’re not going to make me love you by behaving the way you did.’

‘Don’t swear, darling. It’s not ladylike!’ There was a sudden seething in Joshua’s face as he flung aside the newspaper and grabbed hold of her arm. ‘Why did you marry me? One of the reasons I married you was for your money, but you with all your talk of its not being important wouldn’t have married me for mine. So why?’

Rebekah suddenly laughed. ‘I’m a fool! Aunt Esther said you were marrying me for my money! I should have listened to her but I thought it couldn’t be true because you seemed to have plenty of it. I was wrong!’

‘The young never listen to their elders the way they should. I’m not broke, my dear, but more money is always useful.’ He forced her against him. ‘But you still haven’t answered my question. Why? If you answer me correctly then we could be happy.’

She stared at him. ‘You want me to say that I love
you.’ He made no answer, just looked at her, and she experienced a feeling of pity. ‘I wish I could say I did. I’m sorry.’

For a moment he was silent then he pushed her back against the pillows. ‘Don’t be sorry for me, my dear,’ he growled. ‘Be sorry for yourself. I married you because I knew it would make O’Neill mad.’