Flutter (10 page)

I looked up at him, and I couldn’t hold it in
anymore. Unwanted tears streamed down my cheeks, and roughly, he
pulled me into his arms. Burying my face in his shirt, I sobbed
hard.

“Thanks. And sorry,” I mumbled when I got myself
under control and pull away from him. He kept his hand on my arm,
as if severing contact would reduce me to tears.

“Don’t worry about it. I saw how hard that was on
you,” Peter said.

“He’s not even crying.” I wiped the tears from my
face and hated myself for being a baby.

“It’s different for him. He’s been through this
before, although I don’t think it’s ever been this bad.” His eyes
got hard, no doubt thinking about how this was his fault.

“What do you mean he’s been through this before?” I
asked.

“That’s what his old ‘master,’ Willem, used to do and
he was a bad, bad man.” He stared off into space. “But Willem was
just one man, not a pack of sadists. I’ve been bit before, by
something less than them, and it’s…”

“What?” I pressed when Peter trailed off into
silence.

“My blood burned in my veins. My body tried to reject
it, and I was so drained of blood already. And on top of the
physical pain, which is excruciating, it gives you emotions. It
makes you want things you don’t want. You feel disgusting and ….”
He shook his head, unwilling to elaborate further. “It’s torture,
absolutely.”

“Will he be okay?” I asked.

Ezra came out of the bathroom, changing our
attention. He wore fresh clothes, and the marks on his neck and
wrist had finally healed. His skin was still pale and his
expression grave, but he moved around okay.

He barely said anything to either of us on the way to
the airport. I saw how rigid he was, and he struggled to hold back
what pain was left. On the plane, he mumbled several apologies to
me, all of which I brushed off. I had barely done anything for him,
and it was nothing that he wouldn’t do for me.

This made me gain even more respect for him. Whatever
made him feel this bad would’ve killed anybody else.

On the rest of the flight back to America, he kept
his eyes shut tightly and his lips pressed together. I couldn’t
stop staring at him, terrified he would fall apart or die if I
did.

- 11 –

By the time we landed in Minneapolis, Ezra returned
to something that resembled his normal self. A very subdued
version, but he could talk and walk without grimacing. Thanks to my
preoccupation with him, I hadn’t texted anyone to let them know
that we were here. We took a cab home, deciding a surprise return
was better at this point.

As soon as the plane had touched down, I felt a pull
in my heart. After days and days of a dull ache at being away from
Jack, it screamed with pleasure, knowing how close he was. The cab
had barely stopped at the house when I jumped out .

I dashed through the front door, and Jack rounded the
corner to the entryway, his blue eyes wide. He broke out in a
gigantic smile, and I dove into his arms and wrapped my arms around
his neck.

I could feel his heart beating through my chest, and
that was the connection I had been so sorely missing. For the first
time in what felt like an eternity, I felt complete and contended
again. Squeezing my eyes shut on happy tears, I wanted to stay that
way forever.

Jack’s muscles tensed around me, and I realized Peter
walked in the house. I could hear Mae and Ezra talking, but Peter
didn’t say a word.

As close as Jack was, I didn’t feel close enough. I
wanted to cover him in kisses and… and well, a lot more than that.
Instead, I would have to untangle myself with Jack and act in a
civil manner around people. I opened my eyes and looked over Jack’s
shoulder to a different problem. Standing behind Jack were my
brother Milo and some kid I had never seen before, looking
curiously at us.

I use the term “kid” loosely. He looked older than
me, with black hair falling across his forehead and almost an olive
skin tone. Shorter than even Milo had been as a human, he had
tattoos visible on his chest below the low v-neck of his shirt and
all down his arms. If I hadn’t been so distracted in my excitement
over Jack I would’ve noticed him sooner.

His veins were pulsing with hot
blood,
human
blood. I realized belatedly how long it had been since I ate.
Spending all that time with people lately had left me with more
self-control than before, but I wasn’t accustomed to it in my own
home.

“Who is that?” I asked, finally releasing Jack so he
would lower me to the ground. Milo moved protectively in front of
the kid, which made something flare inside me.

“That’s Bobby.” Jack put me down but he kept an arm
looped around my waist, and I doubt it was just because he missed
me. Tension from Peter along with my confused reaction to this
Bobby person made the room feel unstable. “I told you about him on
the phone. Remember?”

“You didn’t tell me he was human,” I sniffed,
crossing my arms over my chest.

“You were human like ten seconds ago,” Milo rolled
his eyes.

Bobby peered around Milo at me, and it wasn’t his
species difference that offended me so much. This was the first
time Milo had ever brought a guy home. On top of that, I had been
away when it happened, and this kid was older than Milo and had
tattoos.

“I couldn’t tell you very much about anything since
you wouldn’t answer my calls or return my texts,” Jack pointed out
icily, and he glanced back at Peter.

Peter held our luggage and stood awkwardly by the
front door. Matilda sniffed him, wagging her tail, but nobody else
acknowledged him at all.

Ezra looked much better, but he was still clearly
unwell. Mae had to smell the other vampires on him. Even I could
still smell it - dank and musty and unpleasant. Touching his face
gingerly, she had tears in her eyes, oblivious to the growing
unease in the room.

“Come on.” Milo gestured to the other room. “You’ve
all had a long trip. I’m sure you guys wanna relax for a bit, and
fill us in with all the juicy details.”

Milo led the way to the living room, deliberately
putting himself between Bobby and me. It was weird thinking of
myself as a threat.

Jack’s arm was still around me, and I remembered with
some delight that I was with him. I smiled up at him, but he was
slow to return it. His heart beat too loud, meaning something
distressed him.

“I would love to catch up with you. I missed you all
so much,” Mae said when we reached the leaving room. She smiled and
squeezed my arm lovingly. Ezra stood behind her, his expression
drawn. “But Ezra and I are going to have to excuse ourselves. He
needs some rest.”

“I understand,” I said.

As I watched them walk away, I felt Jack’s eyes
settle on me. Ezra’s anguish made Jack wary about what had gone on
in Finland. I avoided his gaze, because I wasn’t ready to explain
it to him, especially not in front of Milo and his new friend.

Milo flopped back in an overstuffed chair. Bobby
remained glued to his side and sat on the arm of the chair next to
him, so he was half on Milo’s lap. Something about that sent a
ripple of agitation through me. When Bobby put his hand on his
thigh, I wanted to slap it away.

“So…” Milo asked me. “How was your trip?”

“It was okay,” I shrugged, unwilling to give up
anymore right now.

Peter walked over to lean against the wall, and Jack
moved smoothly around me, putting himself between Peter and me.
This was the way things would go for awhile, and it was too early
to already get annoyed by them. I went over and sat on the
couch.

“Since you brought Peter back, I assume it was a
rousing success.” Milo looked at Peter out of the corner of his
eye. He’d only met Peter once, and that hadn’t gone that great.

“You could say that,” I said

Jack sat next to me, and Peter glanced around the
room diffidently, managing not to look happy or upset. I pulled my
knees up to my chest and leaned in closer in the crook of Jack’s
arm, but he was unnaturally tense.

I would’ve loved to ease his fears, but I was
preoccupied by this Bobby character that was all but sitting on my
little brother’s lap.

“It looks like you’ve had a pretty busy time without
us,” I said as casually as I could.

“You could say that,” Milo laughed.

Milo shared one of this disgustingly sweet looks with
him. Bobby leaned down and kissed him on the lips, and I could hear
his heart race faster. My stomach twisted in knots, out of disgust
and hunger, and I didn’t appreciate that combination at all.

It wasn’t the fact that Milo was
kissing a dude that I found so upsetting. It was that he was
kissing
anyone
.

“I think I’m gonna crash,” Peter said. He looked to
Jack, who tightened his arm around me, as if he expected Peter to
tear me from him. “Is my room in the same place?”

“It’s exactly as you left it,” Jack said as evenly as
he could.

“Alright.” Peter nodded at Jack, then he turned and
went upstairs.

“That guy has weird vibes,” Bobby said, speaking for
the first time since I’d met him.

He stared after the space where Peter had been and
shook his head to toss his bangs out of his dark eyes. To comfort
him, Milo rubbed his back, and Bobby smiled, settling back into the
chair with him. Is it too early to say that I really hate
Bobby?

“So Bobby,” I said, and he smiled clumsily. “Are you
gay?” Jack laughed, filling me with a familiar glee. Once Peter
left, he relaxed a bit.

“Alice!” Milo snapped, embarrassed.

“What?” I asked.

Nothing was overly gay about Bobby, other than the
fact that he had kissed my brother. His clothes were fashionable
scene apparel, skinny jeans and slip on Vans. He might be wearing
eyeliner, but he might just have dark eyelashes too.

“No, it’s okay,” Bobby laughed. “Yeah. I am gay.”

“How old are you?” I asked pointedly.

“Twenty,” Bobby said, and I bristled.

Milo was a vampire, and thanks to their rapid
maturation, he looked about nineteen or so. In actuality, he was
barely sixteen, and he was making out with a twenty-year-old guy.
Not cool. In fact, it was so not cool that I planned to freak out
on Jack for letting this happen while I was away. (At this point,
it had not occurred to me that Jack was born over 40 years ago, and
I wasn’t yet eighteen.)

“Alice, you were in Finland for weeks!” Milo
exaggerated, sensing my growing anger. “I’m pretty sure you have
more exciting things to do than interrogate my boyfriend.”

Boyfriend
?
They were already up to that terminology? It had been months and
months until I started referring to Jack as my boyfriend. In fact,
in conversation, I still don’t think I would use that word. It
sounded too weird to say about him. Once you’re over the age of
twenty-five or you’re no longer human, the word “boyfriend” no
longer fits.

“Yeah. What happened in Finland?” Jack turned to look
at me.

“It’s too much to talk about right now,” I brushed
him off.

“Seriously?” Jack raised an
eyebrow. “
That’s
what you’re giving me? After weeks of this? You’re gonna come
home and tell me it’s too much to talk about?”

“Well, I just don’t want to upset you
needlessly.”

“You were in Finland with Peter! And you wouldn’t
answer my calls!” Jack was all but yelling. “You’ve upset me plenty
already, and it didn’t bother you then!”

“Of course it bothered me.” I pulled away from him.
“I thought about you constantly. But I knew if I said anything you
would rush over there and get yourself killed.”

“I would get myself
killed
?” He turned to
face me more and his expression got even more severe. “What the
hell were you involved with, Alice? And what happened to
Ezra?”

“Yeah, what is the deal with him?” Milo asked
unhelpfully.

“It’s all very complicated.” I shook my head, afraid
that if I told Jack what had happened he would… I don’t know. Yell
at me a lot and then try to beat up Peter and Ezra.

“I know you were with lycan. That’s who had Peter.”
Jack bit his lip, looking down at me. “I should’ve gone over as
soon as you told me but…” If he had gone there, everything would’ve
turned out much worse, and I think he kinda knew that.

“Lycan?” Milo sat up sharply, almost knocking Bobby
off the chair. “You mean werewolves?”

“Not exactly,” I sighed. “Not at all, really. They’re
just vampires that live in the woods. They were after Peter, but
Ezra made an exchange with them, and we came home. End of story.
Most of the trip was spent just looking for Peter.”

“What was the exchange?” Milo asked, but by Jack’s
expression, he’d just figured it out.

“Peter let them do that?” Jack whispered.

“He didn’t have a choice. Ezra… did what he had to
do,” I explained as best I could.

“What are you talking about? What happened?” Milo
demanded.

“Nothing. Never mind,” I said. Jack stared at me
intently, his blue eyes full of too much anguish. “Nothing happened
to me. Okay? I barely even left the hotel room. Nobody tried to
hurt me. I never got in any fights. Everything was fine.
Honest.”

Jack wasn’t completely convinced, but he wrapped his
arm around me, so I would curl up to him. Milo was perplexed, but
he dropped the subject.

Milo had never been out of the area, either, so he
pressed for more information about traveling. I told him what
little I had seen and how terrified I had been on the plane.

Once Bobby started falling asleep,
Milo decided it was time to excuse himself and head up to bed. He
scooped Bobby up in his arms, carrying him upstairs to
their
room, and I gaped
after him. We had to have a very long talk about all of this as
soon as I had the chance.