Flutter (7 page)

We passed over the river where we had met the lycan,
and my heart skipped. He glanced back at me, and I hated that he
could hear my heart. I could tell he was about to ask me if I
wanted to turn back, but I shook my head and insisted we plow
ahead.

Hopefully, Ezra tracked better than I did, because I
couldn’t even smell the lycan anymore. They smelled of animals that
lived outside, like reindeer but not. There was something edgier
about the lycan scent, like livestock and… road kill.

A branch cracked loud enough that even a human could
hear, and I whirled towards it. Ezra moved in front of me, his
posture defensive.

It had been an hour since we passed the river, so we
were well into their territory, and we had yet to see any animals.
I inhaled deeply, but I could only smell the cold. Snow. Trees.
Dirt. Maybe an owl…

A flap of wings followed by the rustle of branches,
and I saw a large owl take flight in front of the moon. Relief
washed over me, but Ezra didn’t relax at all. If anything he tensed
up more, and then I heard something else too.

The soft crunch of footsteps in the
snow, softer than hooves, softer than shoes.
Barefoot
.

- 7 –

In the moonlight, I saw the lycan. Several yards
ahead of us, he walked towards us with his hands held up, the sign
of surrender.

It was Leif, the kind one with large brown eyes. He
wore the same clothes he did the other day, and they appeared even
dirtier. Ezra, on the other hand, looked dapper for a midnight
hike. He wore a black cashmere sweater with a thick collar, but in
most ways, Ezra appeared to be an entirely different species than
Leif.

“I’m alone,” Leif announced as he got closer to
us.

Leif stopped a few feet in front of us, but that was
still much closer than I’d like. Ezra kept his body partially
blocking mine, shielding me.

“I am alone. I know you don’t trust me, but it’s the
truth,” Leif said.

He sounded American or maybe Canadian. He pushed a
strand of his thick hair off his forehead and chewed his lip. His
eyes roamed around us, unsure of where to let them settle, and he
glanced up at the moon.

“They’re in Sweden, hunting,” Leif continued, as if
we had asked. “Dodge was convinced that we’d scared you away, so
they left.”

“But you weren’t?” Ezra asked, and his stance grew
more rigid. Leif shrugged in response and lowered his eyes to the
ground. “Is that why you stayed behind? To see if we came
back?”

“Maybe,” Leif said, then quickly added, “But not like
you think.”

“You don’t know what I think,” Ezra said evenly.

Leif shifted and looked at the moon again. Rubbing
his arm, he looked like he wanted to say something but couldn’t
find the words.

“You’re after Peter, aren’t you?” Leif asked, and I
stiffened. “I’m not out to get him. He killed my brother, but it
was self-defense. Krist had a temper and…

“
Peter had no
business being here,” Leif went on. “He was ‘trying out’ for the
pack, but that’s not how it works. Gunnar put him through all these
tests, and Krist was one of them. But Peter started winning…” He
looked apologetic, his eyes wide and sincere. “It wasn’t fair what
they did to him. What they’re
still
doing to him.”

“Still?” The fear in Ezra’s voice made me wince.

My head swam with images, and Ezra had seen far worse
than I had. He knew what true torture could be for a vampire.

“He’s alive. He’s okay.” Leif’s voice cracked on the
last word.

“What are they doing? Where is he?” Ezra demanded in
a low growl, and Leif shrunk back. Any pretense that Ezra had of
submitting to the lycans was over.

I didn’t think scaring Leif worked to our benefit, so
I put a hand on Ezra’s arm. Reluctantly, he responded and took a
step back. Leif nodded his appreciation and stood up taller.

“I don’t know exactly,” Leif said. “They’ve been
hunting him.”

“He’s in Sweden?” I raised an eyebrow.

“No, he’s still here,” Leif shook his head. “The pack
is in Sweden.”

“I don’t understand. Why is he still here? If they’re
gone, why didn’t he just come home?” I asked, and Leif and Ezra
exchanged a look. “What? Why won’t Peter leave?” I looked at Ezra
since Leif didn’t answer.

“Us,” Ezra said thickly. “The pack will track him if
he leaves and follow him back to us.”

“If they’re so good at tracking, then why haven’t
they killed him yet?” I asked, ignoring the implications.

If they could follow him across the Atlantic, then
they could find one vampire in their own territory. Why would they
leave him alive, especially after all this time?

“They like to play with their food,” Ezra said, and
Leif looked at the ground. “They want him to wait in fear,
wondering when they’re going to strike, jumping at every noise.
Eventually, he’ll either go mad or come home, which is a prize
itself.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked as nausea
welled up inside me.

“Why don’t you explain it to her?” Ezra growled at
Leif.

“It’s not my idea.” Leif looked ashamed. “I’m here,
telling you this, at risk to myself.”

“You didn’t do anything to stop it, did you?” Ezra
took several steps toward him. This time, Leif didn’t back down.
“You wouldn’t have said anything to us if you hadn’t seen us.”

“I couldn’t stop it! I can’t go up
against them.” Leif shook his head. “This is
my
pack. Peter’s just a stupid,
arrogant…”

Leif rubbed his neck, and Ezra sighed, repressing his
urge to fight him. Regardless of what Leif had or hadn’t done, he
was the only one trying to help now. If we were going to find
Peter, he’d be our best bet.

“I still don’t understand what you want with keeping
Peter alive,” I said.

“Peter has a death wish, otherwise he wouldn’t be
here,” Leif explained. “Killing him would give him satisfaction,
and they want him to suffer. They’ll make him watch as they kill
everything he cares about. That’s his real punishment. Gunnar won’t
even kill him in the end, because sometimes, living forever is
worse.”

Jack, Milo, and Mae were sitting at home, alone,
unguarded. Ezra and Peter were here, thousands of miles away from
them. A cold shudder ran through me.

“Are you sure the pack’s in Sweden?” I asked, hearing
my voice tremble. “They didn’t go anywhere else?” Ezra caught onto
what I was saying and narrowed his eyes at Leif.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Leif looked bewildered, but then it
dawned him. “No! They didn’t think you had anything to do with
Peter. If they did, they would’ve killed you already, and left your
bodies for him to find.”

“We need to get out of here,” I said. Even if he was
telling the truth, the thought had been put in my head, and I was
desperate to see Jack, to know he was safe.

“Where is Peter?” Ezra asked.

“I can tell you the area he’s in, but I can’t take
you there,” Leif said. “They’ll smell my scent mixed with yours,
leading you to him.”

“Where is he?” Ezra repeated.

“He’s about a kilometer and a half east, past a small
lake. He’s been hiding in a little cave in the ground.” Leif
pointed in the direction he’d told us, the direction he’d been
walking from.

Without waiting for me, Ezra raced towards Peter. I
knew I’d have to rush to keep up with him, but I paused. Leif
looked so apologetic and forlorn, I couldn’t help but feel drawn to
him.

It wasn’t until that moment, when I looked directly
at him, that I realized what it was that I liked so much about him.
He had eyes just like my brother’s.

“Thank you,” I told him earnestly.

“Just go. Get him. Get out of here.”

Ezra was already a blur in the trees ahead of me. He
had a far better sense of direction than I did, so I had to catch
up with him.

I’d made great strides in grace lately, but at this
speed, it became impossible to maintain. I slipped and stumbled
over everything and hit my head on several branches. By the time I
came to the small lake, I was covered in snow and pine needles.

Ezra stopped sharply, and I didn’t notice him until
it was too late. I slid on the ice and slammed right into him,
which was like running into a brick wall. Bouncing off his back, I
fell to the ground. I crouched, preparing to stand up, but then I
glimpsed something through Ezra’s legs and I froze.

His eyes were unmistakable, but they were even
greener than I remembered. Peter stood a few feet in front of Ezra,
looking mangy. His chestnut hair hung down to his shoulders,
growing several inches in the last few weeks. Thick stubble covered
his face, but wasn’t quite a beard. His clothes were filthy and
ragged, and Peter had always prided himself on his appearance.

He still looked gorgeous, and somehow, I had expected
that to fade. But it turned out that he was just plain stunning,
and that had nothing to do with whether I was bonded with him or
not.

I waited, expecting that intense pull at the sight of
him. But nothing happened. Even when his eyes briefly met mine, I
never had to remind myself to breathe. He no longer captivated
me.

“You brought her?” Peter asked Ezra, but it wasn’t
lined with that familiar disgust and contempt he tried to hold for
me. Instead, he sounded nervous and concerned.

“She insisted on coming,” Ezra said.

An odd tension brewed between them. I had thought
Ezra would just come up and say something like, “Alright, that’s
enough Peter, let’s go home” but he barely said anything. He almost
seemed afraid of Peter.

I stood up and brushed myself off. Hiding on the
ground behind Ezra just didn’t feel right.

“She can’t fight them,” Peter said. When I came
around Ezra, he avoided looking at me

“We’re not here to fight,” Ezra said.

“Did you come here to die then?” Peter looked pained
and pale under the moonlight, and his words echoed off the trees
around us. Somewhere, the owl hooted and took flight again, sending
shivers down my spine.

“Peter,” Ezra tried to reason with him, but Peter
wanted nothing to do with it.

“I can’t believe you did this. I’ve
been staying here, going through all of this, so they would stay
away from you. They’re going to
kill
you, Ezra! Do you understand
that? They’re going to kill you and Alice and everyone!” Peter
paced, and he’d started to unravel.

“No one is going to kill anyone,” Ezra’s impassive
baritone overrode everything else.

“You don’t know what they’re like.” His pleas
bordered on whining. “It’s been too long since you’ve seen them in
action!”

“We have been here for days,
searching all over the lycan territory, getting our scent on
everything.
We’ve already
ruined your attempts at self-sacrifice. Let’s go back to the hotel,
get you cleaned up, and figure a way out of this mess,” Ezra
said.

Peter groaned, but more at Ezra’s stupidity than at
the thought of going to the hotel with us. Running a hand through
his dirty hair, he scanned the forest.

“We probably won’t even make it back to the car,”
Peter said at length.

“The lycan are in Sweden. We have a few days to sort
things out.” Ezra took a step back, gesturing to the way back.

“Come on,” I said, speaking to Peter for the first
time since we had kissed, since I had been mortal. “Come back with
us.”

Peter looked at me, eyeing me up the way that he had
before. I wasn’t in love with him anymore, but something about it
still made me blush, and I lowered my eyes.

Finally, he nodded, and with Ezra leading the way, he
followed us to the Range Rover. In the long, silent walk back, I
often felt Peter’s eyes on me, but I tried to ignore it.

- 8 –

Peter had gone without eating for a long time, and he
gulped down four canisters of blood when we reached the hotel. That
was enough to make even the strongest vampire woozy, and he lie
down on Ezra’s bed and instantly fell asleep.

Ezra leaned on the dresser, watching Peter sleep,
with a sublime look on his face, and I stood next to him.

“So what’s the plan?” I whispered, looking up at
Ezra.

“There isn’t much of one at the moment.”

In my hand, I had my phone, and I twirled it around.
It contained fifteen text messages and two missed calls from Jack,
along with seven messages from Milo. They wanted to know what was
going on, but I had nothing to tell them.

“So…” I shifted my weight. “Peter’s gonna sleep and
rest up, and then what? We’re gonna hide here? We’re gonna go home?
We’re gonna fight?”

Ezra chewed the inside of his cheek and chose not to
answer me. Peter stirred in the bed, moving his head against the
pillow, and Ezra tensed up. He felt over protective, and I didn’t
blame him. But his paranoia should’ve left him plotting escape
plans instead of just gazing at Peter.

“We should just get some rest. We’ll come up with a
plan tomorrow,” Ezra said at length.

“There’s no way I can sleep after this.”

“Eat.” He nodded to the bathroom, where he stored the
blood.

I had a million questions I should be making him
answer, but as soon as he mentioned eating, I could think of little
else. I decided it’d be better to give in and get some sleep. It
wouldn’t do me any good to stay up all day worrying.

I ate quickly, and it hit me hard. I staggered like a
drunk person, and I was thankful I’d already changed into my
pajamas. Within seconds of hitting my bed, I fell asleep.

When I woke up, Ezra slept on the bed next to me,
pressed so close to the edge he nearly fell off. I sat up, careful
not to wake him. I looked over his shoulder and saw Peter sitting
on the other bed, staring over at us. I gasped, and even though I
caught the surprised yelp before it escaped my lips, Ezra’s eyes
shot open.