Flutter (The Discover Series) (16 page)

I was addicted to her; at least that’s what it felt like. Obsession came to me in the form of a tall, dark, and gorgeous princess, and I was left defenseless to her blind claim on my sanity. Or maybe lack of sanity.

There was nothing about her, or my reaction to her, that I didn’t have a hard time understanding. My ability to be inside her head at times seemed to be my biggest fixation. The times I found myself inside, without her being aware of my intruding existence, didn’t make me comfortable, but I couldn’t deny the fact that I was curious enough not to withdrawal my presence. I couldn’t explain why I had access to her thoughts. I couldn’t read minds, other than those of my pack. It only added to the list of my mystifying connection to her.

Hearing her thoughts, while she had been buried in ice, had been exhilarating for all of the first 5.2 seconds, consuming all of my attention for that moment. After that, I had been so caught up in her trepidation, that I hadn’t had time to register anything beyond my own full-out anxiety. So being surrounded by her in the forest had brought on a torrent of different emotions.

Listening to her fight with herself over touching me, knowing she wanted to reach out and touch me, waiting in anticipation for her to actually do it, had left me shaking inside. It was easy to mask my disappointmen
t
as she had dropped her hand away. When you didn’t have normal facial expressions, you could hide anything. Hesitation had won out over her momentary curiosity, which was probably best for the both of us. I had a hard enough time controlling myself around her as it was, I didn’t think I wanted to test my restraint by adding her touch.

Sparks
flew, there was no denying that.

I thought about what Aaron had said earlier about being able to feel our energy, and I thought about the way our bodies had responded to each other just moments ago. The energy that exploded through every pore, fought for dominance. We invaded each others space, hoping to gain the upper hand, until the invisible force began to sizzle out of control. She had stood in front of me, a small ripple glowing around her silhouette, pulsating with each beat of her heart. The knowledge that I could be the cause of that left me bewildered.

I began to wonder if I wasn’t far off from being right. Maybe I was the cause for her unexplained response, just as she was cause for the same response in me.

I was far from being an idiot, so why was I having a hard time putting two and two together? Resistance wasn’t one of my strong characteristics; I always went after what I wanted, but what would be the outcome of giving into this? Was I really willing to destroy everything my kingdom had worked for? That question was easily dismissed, because I knew the answer the moment I had pulled her from the ice.

Yes.

My private confession was only confirmed, as I watched her trail clumsily down the mountain toward the shed. I had given her watcher the perfect excuse to “accidentally” stumble across the shed he had hidden away inside the valley. His secret would remain safe for now.

I was sure Andres didn’t know what I was, but I could tell he suspected something was different about me. For now I planned to keep my own secret, but for how long I wasn’t sure.

Being around her had been way too captivating, and I realized now that I was craving her attention.  I knew it wouldn’t be long now before I followed them to the shed. Now I couldn’t even remember why I had planned to stay back. I didn’t want to follow her…at least I
tried
not to want to. Subtle stubbornness didn’t seem to be working on my subconscious, when I had to fight it against every feeling, every thought, that I had. I didn’t know if I should give in, maybe I was just being a guy. It was okay to stop and ask for directions
once
in a while, although I prided myself on never having too. I was trying to fight something stronger than myself. Was it really losing if you never really had a chance to begin with? You couldn’t change the past, but could you rearrange destiny?

I decided I had had enough with all of the intense psychobabble. I wasn’t the brooding, melodramatic type, to whine about things I didn’t understand, and I wasn’t about to change that now. A challenge had presented itself, and I sure as hell wasn’t about to back down from it.

As I watched Sara, a tiny smiled formed inside my head. I suddenly wanted to see her face so badly that my insides twisted. I wanted to see her looking back at me, her face shimmering in the moonlight. I wanted to see the look of guilty pleasure on her face when she looked at me.

Look at me
, I thought to myself.

It was funny that I felt the need to whisper inside my own head, when I knew she couldn’t hear me.

Turn around Sara. Please turn around.
I begged, a little louder this time.

I watched her steps halter. I could see the rapid rise and fall of her chest, even at this distance. Her head tilted, and I held my breath waiting to see if she would turn.

Maybe…

Look at me!

I hadn’t expected it to sound so loud, but the thought echoed loudly around in my head.

I had privately
hoped
she would hear me again, that my voice would fill her head, the way hers did mine.

It was the kind of wishful thinking people tried to trick themselves with. They pretended to expect one thing, but in reality actually wanted something else entirely to happen.

I hadn’t actually thought she would hear me, but the second I knew she had, I instantly regretted trying to get her attention. Fear squeezed at my heart until I felt like it would pop inside my chest.

I felt like everything I was doing to get to her was done in slow motion, while everything she did was done in super speed.

I wouldn’t reach her in time.

She was going to die and I wasn’t going to reach her in time.

Sara

It didn’t take us long to reach the bottom of the valley

The shed was tucked away, about two miles from where we had been, conveniently hidden inside the tall trees that covered the entire valley, and nestled between the mountains that surrounded the area. Rocks, weeds and bushes lined the ground, and were veiled by a thick layer of snow, which had made it easy for me to become victim their threats on my life. More than once I stumbled, and was threatened with sliding down the side of the hill on my face.

Not that snowboarding didn’t seem like a fun idea, at a later, more
appropriate
time. It was the fact that I would be a
human
snowboard, that I couldn’t quite find the charm in. I could probably look past the half a mile distance we still had left to the shed - that I would ultimately finish face first - and it was more than just the
little
details; like the sharp rocks that jutted out along the mountain floor, some hidden by the thorn covered shrubbery, that had me cringing at the gruesome picture I created in my head. Nope it was what waited for me at the bottom of the valley that did it for me. We had gotten close enough to the clearing, where the valley opened up to the shed, that I could see it through the dark. Surrounding one side of the shed was a patch of boulders.  Sharp, deadly boulders, which had me taking the climb down as cautiously as possible. It didn’t seem to bother Andres, who walked at the same speed next to me, that it took longer than it should have for us to reach the bottom. We both silently agreed it was better safe than sorry.

My toes gripped the inside of my flimsy water shoes as the hill tilted beneath me, and I wished I had been frozen with better shoes on. One foot in front of the other, I inched my way down holding my hands out in front of me, hoping that would be enough to catch myself if - cross my fingers
and
knock on wood - I fell. I decided to distract myself from the last few yards to the shed by thinking about something else; I would probably be less clumsy that way.

I knew what I was going to think about, and I didn’t even try to stop it this time, he had been there in the back of my mind since I had walked away. I hadn’t heard him or seen him since we had started down the mountain without him. I kept turning around, expecting to see him there, but he never was. That didn’t change the fact that I knew he was watching me. I may not have been able to
see
those icy blue eyes in the darkness, but I could
feel
them.

He was watching my every step.

I wanted to see him one more time. I had to see him one more time. I felt that if I reached the shed without seeing him one last time, I wouldn’t see him ever again.

That’s when I felt it.

I skidded to a stop and tilted my head, narrowing my eyes and trying to concentrate on the tingling sensation inside my head. I had felt it just minutes before, but it hadn’t been strong enough to completely catch my attention, but it did this time. My scalp began to tingle, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand on edge, and sending a thrill of shivers down my spine. I waited to see what was going to happen next. I wasn’t scared, but my breathing came faster now, as if my lungs were starving for air.

Look at me Sara

It was so low that I couldn’t be sure that’s what I was hearing. The whisper melted over me and I shivered. My footing slipped a little, and I tried to be as still as I could, not wanting to disturb whatever was happening to me right now. I held my breath and waited. My body was tingling all over now, different now than moments ago. This was the same charge only it felt a billion times stronger, like I was being caressed by tons of electric ribbons, and my head tingled.

I know it probably wasn’t the best idea to turn around, but even as I told myself that I shouldn’t, and that I wouldn’t see anything, I couldn’t help but peek behind me.

Look at me!

I hadn’t expected it.

Maybe if I had, I could have avoided everything that happened next.

The urgency inside the hushed message caught me by surprise, and the small slip of concentration was all it took.

Everything happened so fast that I didn’t have time to prepare myself for the fall. I let out a terrified scream as I began to plummet out of control down the mountain.

“Sara!” Andres’ scream echoed the fear in my own screams

I spun on my stomach, my hands desperately clawing at the ground, trying to grab anything that would catch me or at least slow me down. The sleek snow might as well have been ice with the way I sped down. I was only dimly aware of the sharp, painful stabs that struck my stomach, thighs, and back as I slid down. My hands and fingers grasped at everything that covered the ground, as my body wiped away the snow, revealing the gravel underneath. My finger nails caught on the small rocks, and dirt that was embedded in the damp ground, and I tried to ignore the pain as my nails were pulled from flesh. I could almost hear Andres shouting in the background, but I couldn’t make out what he was saying.

It felt like I had been falling for an eternity. Not that I was in any hurry to rush to my death, I just couldn’t stand the unknown. I couldn’t tell if it was better not being able to see when I would hit the rocks, or worse because I couldn’t see when I would hit the rocks. I didn’t want my last thought to be of what waited for me below, and then suddenly his face was all I could see. His eyes held mine and as outrageous as it sounds, while I waited to die, I instantly felt calmer just seeing him. The tension in my arms and shoulders relaxed as I stared into his eyes. He looked frightened and crazy, and I wanted to reach out and comfort him.

I closed my eyes for the quickest second, and when I opened them we were back in the woods standing face to face. He looked confused at first. His head darted from side to side and I smiled. When his eyes found mine again he looked almost…amazed. He took a step closer to me and those electric blue eyes hypnotized me, drawing me toward him. The blue pools were magnified against the bluish glow that outlined his body, making the silver hairs in his fur shimmer. At first, I thought the radiance illuminating his body was from the cascade of the pale moonlight, but looking closely I realized it wasn’t from the moon at all. I lifted my hands, flipping them back and forth, examining the orb of light around my own silhouette.

I looked up at him, “How are you doing this?”

I didn’t need to ask him if he
was
the one doing this, somehow I knew it was him.

Sara!

My name was a snarl that ripped the illusion, causing the colors of the serene forest to blur and fade away, and once again I was staring at the background as it distorted past me. I knew it would be any minute now, any
second
now; I would be plummeting off the side of the mountain. My muscles clenched in anticipation of the impact.

Sara,
the voice was full of panic and fear.
You have to grab on, hurry!

My head whipped to the side. I gasped as I saw the wolf running next to my falling body.

To what?!
I thought. I knew there was no time to ask anything else, even though a million questions screamed at me.