Follow Me Through Darkness (25 page)

“That’s not-”

“-I was there, Neely. I was right beside you, and you were so busy protecting me or hiding the truth from me that you didn’t see. I don’t think you wanted to. But you don’t see with Xenith either. You don’t know what you feel, you don’t know why you kissed him, and you don’t know his real motives. When you do, I’ll still be the one who’s here.” All of his emotions surge through me again: the anger, the frustration, the disappointment, the sadness, the longing. “Whatever the branding means for us, I’m still going to be here.”

I don’t have time to process all the emotions before he’s pulling me into a kiss. His body melds against mine, and the branding is on fire. His emotions are swirling within me, a big mess of power, and mine are rushing, too. I don’t know what is his or what is mine. He can’t be close enough. I can’t be close enough. I want to be his clothes, his skin. We tumble down to the bed, and he straddles me. The connection rushes through, makes me want more of him. All of him. It’s different than any kiss we’ve ever shared. More desperate and more passionate. His lips greet my cheek, trail down my neck, trace my stomach. Each place he touches creates a small fire that builds up in my body. My hand entangles in his hair, and I pull his mouth back up to mine.

I know it’s not forgiveness, but it’s something like forgetting. At least for now.

DEADLINE: 17D, 14H, 12M

OLD COMPOUND: PHOENIX, ARIZONA

WE SEARCH THE OLD COMPOUND
for food before we leave. We raid the houses, and I try not to imagine the people from home, even though this place reminds me of them. There isn’t much here that we can take, but we find a little more than we had before and it’s better than nothing.

“Ready?” Thorne asks me. I shake my head, and we walk toward the exit. Thorne moves with a new determination.

DEADLINE: 17D, 12H, 34M

SOMEWHERE IN THE DESERT

WE HAVEN’T GONE VERY FAR,
and we already have to stop. The sun is mercilessly hot, but we manage to find a place to rest. I lower myself to the fallen tree trunk and stretch out my legs, sip some water. Thorne doesn’t sit, even though I know he’s tired. He stands and keeps a lookout.

There’s not much to see. There are some trees, but the ground is mostly dirt, covered in dust and branches and debris. This part of the Old World is barren.

“Hey, look over there,” Thorne says. I stand and look with him.

In the distance, I can see the outline of another Remnant camp-or maybe a real city instead of the shadow. The buildings are spread all over, and it’s a shell of a place, or so it seems. They are old structures. Some have fallen in, others with only frames left. They must be from before, more depressing reminders of what was. From here, it is as if I could hold this whole view in my hands. They are merely tiny toys. I could break them if I stamped my foot down.

“We should try to get there. Could be a good place to spend the night.”

“Sure,” I say. I take a sip of the water in my bottle. It’s almost empty. We need water under this heat. We could make it maybe a day without it. The odds are stacking against us the closer we get, and though Pete said the Elders don’t come out this far, if they are following me, if they’re desperate to stop me, how long will it be before they catch up?

“Don’t look so worried,” Thorne says, bumping my shoulder with his. A smile plays on his lips, but that doesn’t fool me. I can feel his anxiety. He’s pretending so I’ll feel better.

“I’m just tired,” I say.

I didn’t sleep well with the dreams of my father. And somehow, Thorne knowing everything is more exhausting than lying to him about it. He’s letting me in, talking to me, and that means some kind of progress. It takes everything I have to keep him out of my emotions, but now I don’t know what he’ll do. I’m not even sure I know how loss or desperation can make a person behave.

He smiles at me again, weak and uncertain. The concern plays in his eyes as he digs through his pack. “We’ll rest here a minute, and then keep moving.” I nod and take some of the nuts from his hand. We’re both silent as we eat.

Everything is jumbled inside me, and for once I wonder if I made the right decision. I’m risking myself, the others in the Compound, and the people I’m trying to save. And for what? If the Mavericks have as much power as Xenith said they have, why are they doing nothing to stop the Elders?

It all made sense before. It was the best thing for everyone. For me. But if we don’t make it, then it’s a waste. If we don’t make it to the Mavericks in time, then I’ve failed everyone.

“Neely.”

I look up at Thorne. He’s so gorgeous. His eyes light brown and specked with gold. The way his dark hair falls in his face and hides the scruff on his jawline. His smile, his lips. He’s perfect.

He touches my face and pushes a loose piece of hair behind my ear. His hand is warm against my chin. “Are you with me?”

I nod my head and put my hand into his empty one. “I’m always with you.”

He smiles and pulls me off the ground. “Let’s keep walking then,” he says, and he picks up his pack.

21 DAYS BEFORE ESCAPE

MY FATHER PICKS UP THE BROKEN
pieces that once formed my mother and stuffs them into his pocket
.

“Example?” I whisper
.

“Oh, yes,” he says. His dark eyes find me. “Rules are rules. They are for our good, and everyone, even my daughter, must obey them.”

I stand while he speaks, even though part of me wants to stay where I am and surrender. If my father was a kinder man, one who treated a daughter like she ought to be treated, I would run into his arms and cry in them. He’s not that person, though, and I’m not foolish enough to think of him as such
.

“Perhaps it’s what you need. The rules are absolute. No kissing in public, no sneaking on the beach, no lying or plotting. You are not to question our ways, and there are no second chances. Regardless of you being my daughter, there are no second chances.” He turns to face me. “I told you to stay away from Thorne Bishop.”

“I have been.”

His look is disgusted, shocked almost. “You’re a liar.”

“That’s you,” I say
.

My father slaps me, and I fall to the floor. I was so unprepared for it. I cover my face where his hand met my cheek. It burns, and I can feel it swelling. The tears slip through my eyes, even though I will them not to come out. He pulls me to my feet by my hair and doesn’t let go
.

On the way out the door, he pushes a button. The bell to gather the residents of the Compound. He releases me until we’re outside in the center of the courtyard, and then he holds my arm tighter. I’m the example, and they’re all coming to look
.

DEADLINE: 17D, 6H, 41M

SOMEWHERE IN THE DESERT

“LOOK,” THORNE SAYS TO ME
. He takes my hand and directs me to hide behind a rock. Outlines of large signs hang twisted in the air, but whatever they were before is long gone. Like most other things, it’s just the skeleton.

“I think there are people over there.” He points down to where a small line of people stand. Another Remnant camp?

Someone grabs me from behind, and I scream as a hand clamps over my mouth. More hands hold me in place, tightening a grip on my arms. Thorne pulls the gun out of his pocket. It looks ineffective when up against three other guns.

“Put the gun down, kid.”

The men are dressed in brown clothes that match their bronzed skin and dark hair. They aren’t tall, but they’ve each got more muscle than Thorne and me put together. The one who holds me has a good grasp. I would never be able to force my way out of his arms. All three of them bear a resemblance to each other, and each one makes me nervous. I feel a burst of Thorne’s heat through me, and I reach out through our connection and pour as much peace into him as I can. Underneath the anger, I feel the prickling sensation of his anxiety. He can’t lose it on them. They’re way bigger than us.

Thorne examines the four of us quickly before his eyes rest on me. I feel him level out.

The one who holds me presses his gun into my back and twists my arm around, and then my own fear pushes its way to the surface. It bubbles up, and tears press behind my eyes. Thorne takes some of it from me, and then he’s lowering his gun to the ground and raising his hands to the air. One of them captures him almost immediately.

“Pretty little girl,” the guy holding me whispers in my ear. He smells like onions. Stay
calm
, I tell myself. “Don’t get many pretty girls.”

“Don’t touch her!” Thorne yells.

The guy turns to him and knocks him in the face. His lip bleeds.

“Let’s take them in. I bet we’ll get extra for the pretty girl.”

They laugh before they push me along through a patch of trees toward the small gathering of people.

21 DAYS BEFORE ESCAPE

IT DOESN’T TAKE LONG
for the people to gather. My father hasn’t released me. Instead, he’s only held on tighter. I can’t see his face, but I wonder if it hurts as much as my head aches from how tightly he’s holding it
.

“As everyone knows, the Compound operates on a system,” my father yells over the crowd. He’s got his voice on-the one he hides behind when he’s leading them, the one that makes him appear to be stronger, more trustworthy. “There are rules, requests, responsibilities. The societies of the past have all collapsed and died because they failed to follow these three simple formulas.”

I search for soothing, familiar eyes in the people I’ve known all my life, but only find Xenith’s in the back of the crowd. I avoid them and look around at all the people I have known all my life. People who are now looking at me with judgment. They looked the same way a few months ago when I kissed Thorne out here-with disgust and disappointment. I hate that this is happening, that none of them know why they respond as they do or what they are really feeling. That all these emotions and all this disapproval is because they have been trained to feel it
.

Sara’s eyes catch mine while I scan the crowd. Kai stands next to her, and between the two of them, I feel lost. Concern and worry are etched on their faces. None of us know what this man who used to be my father will do next
.

I know it’s not really him, but I’m still angry. I feel my resolve for him crumbling, even knowing what I know, and I clench my fingers into fists to hold back my anger. It’s good that Thorne is on the water today. If he was standing in the crowd, I know he wouldn’t be as calm as I am trying to be
.

“We have the rules for a reason. We are taught them from birth, and the rules apply to everyone, even my daughter,” my father yells. The others all nod. “My daughter has forgotten her place in our home. It seems she believes she is above the rules. As our bylaws indicate, there is a consequence for every action and every person.” He sounds like a recording, a machine that someone’s turned on
.

“What has she done?” Sara asks
.

My father glares at her, and the others mumble because no one questions. No one. They aren’t able. How is Sara able to question? I’ve never wondered that until right now, but there must be a reason. She has the branding, too, so she shouldn’t be able to
.

My father looks at me. There is a flash of uncertainty in his eyes, but only for a moment. I know he’s going to lie to them. “Cornelia Ambrose tried to leave the Compound.”

My heart stops beating. I search for Xenith in the crowd. He looks confused, and I’ve never seen him like that. My father can’t know I’m trying to leave when I haven’t even done it yet. Has my father been tipped off somehow? Do the Elders know of my plan?

“She tried to swim off-shore.” My father’s voice stays calm and steady, despite his false words. He’s mastered lying so well that it can’t be anything but perfect. “Fisherboats found her in the ocean, near death, in the night. She claimed that she was running away.”

“That’s a lie,” I yell, thrashing in this hands. Troopers surround me and hold me back, pulling me from his grasp
.

“I would not be dishonest with you,” he says to the crowd. “My daughter is unwell. She told me she hates all of you.” His words spread in murmurs through the crowd. Through my people. My friends. “She has been corrupted to believe that this place is evil and that everyone in it is evil. I fear she may have the fever.”

The fever. The way the Raven’s Flesh started
.

“We must contain her and make her well,” he says
.

The murmur is louder, uproarious. I shout over them, tell them it’s not true, tell them he’s lying. They don’t seem to hear me. They don’t seem to know I’m there at all. They only see my father, the tear in his eye, the scratches on his face from me. They hear his lies and they believe him, a facade that they don’t know they shouldn’t trust
.

I hate him. I hate him and the Elders
.

“As much as it pains me,” Father says, and the people are quiet as soon as he speaks, “the Troopers are going to escort her to the safehouse. She will be there for a few days. I only ask that you forgive her harsh words against you. She is not in her right mind, but she must receive the punishment for her lies.”

I scream when they pull me backward. “This isn’t true!” I yell. I fight against them, but they’re stronger than me. Frantically, I look around to the crowd. “It’s not true!” In my search, I watch Kai pulling Sara into the house, and then Xenith disappears. The crowd comforts my father. They don’t look my way at all
.

The last thing I see before they lock me away in the safehouse is the beach. The waves are out of control, thrashing and beating against each other and against the sand. They’re so fierce they could wash over the shore and straight into the Compound. They could pull everyone and everything out to sea. The hatred rolls off of me in waves like them, toward everyone. It rushes and traps the unexpecting in the undertow and drowns everything. Them. This place. My father. Myself. Everyone. There are no survivors of the wrath. There is no absolution. No redemption. No hope. There are only lies and hatred, both caused by the Elders
.