Following My Toes (9 page)

“Um. Hello, Faith? Faith, this is Ethan. The guy you yelled at? Wait, that might mean nothing to you... I’m the guy who fixed your car? I was calling to see how it’s doing. I hope that your rear sway isn’t giving you any more problems, and the problem was (pause) adequately altered. And oh, just so you know, I call all of my customers several weeks after they bring their cars in, it’s part of my good customer service strategy. And... I was wondering if you’d like to get a drink sometime. I think you should say yes, so give me a call at home, 612-555-7849!”

I didn’t know whether to be shocked, happy or skeptical. Whatever. My list of
Minneapolis
acquaintances was severely limited. At

the very least he could be a new friend.

I picked up the phone and dialed.

“Hello?”

“Carolyn, you’ll never guess what happened.”

“Ethan called.”

“How did you know?’

“Because he called here first, and I gave him your new number.”

“Oh. Right, I suppose that makes sense. So what did you think when you spoke with him? Was he polite, or did he act full of himself?”

“I don’t know.” Her own voice sounded rather flat. “What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Nothing, it’s not anything. Charles and I sort of had another fight, but it’s not a big deal.”

Then there was a knock on my door. “Carolyn, hold on a minute, there’s someone at the door. I’ll be right back.”

Standing in my doorway was Bill from the laundry room. “I always repay my debts,” he said, and handed me a quarter. I was surprised that he went to the trouble.

“Oh, thanks. You didn’t have to do that.”

“Well, I’m an old fashioned guy, and I don’t believe in being in obligation to a lady.”

“There really was no obligation, but thanks again. I’m on the phone, so I should go.”

I closed the door before he could answer, and picked the phone back up to speak with Carolyn. “So what happened?” I asked her.

“Nothing. It’s not a big deal.”

“Carolyn...”

She sighed. “It wasn’t even a true fight. We had another talk about marriage. He said he knew he wanted to get married soon and have kids because he’s always wanted to have a family. All I said was that’s an easy thing for him to want, because it wouldn’t change anything for him. But for me, it would. I would wind up never leaving here, and having kids would make it rather hard to go out on auditions. Meanwhile, who would be taking care of those kids while he went out and did his music? You know?”

“What did he say?”

“He said if that’s what I think, then I don’t know him very well, and thanks for the vote of confidence. Then he stormed out. I have no idea where he is.”

“Well, what are you doing right now? Other than waiting for him to come back?”

“Nothing. But I should stay here.”

“Why?”

“Because he might be even more upset if he comes back ready to talk, and I’m not around.”

“But sitting around the apartment moping is only going to make you feel worse. If you wait for him too long and he doesn’t show, after a while you’re going to start feeling angry, and that will make everything worse. Isn’t it better to go and get your mind off things?”

“I don’t know.”

“Oh come on Carolyn, let’s go for one drink. It will make you feel better, and it will get me out of having to spend the evening with Missy.”

“So that’s how it is? Why don’t you just tell her no?”

“I did. I’ve told her that several times already. She’s starting to take it personally. I think it’s better to be gone when she gets back. But I could come over...”

“No, that would be awkward if Charles did show up.” She took a deep breath and exhaled. “You know, I don’t like sitting here, waiting for him. You’re right. Let’s get a drink.”

* * *

I once read a poem that compared men to busses. The basic idea is they’re the same. You wait and wait for one, feeling like it will never show. Then, all of a sudden, just when you’ve given up, three appear at once, and you have no idea which one to get on. Well, while Carolyn and I were sitting at the C.C. Club (a grungy but popular bar in our area), completely unconcerned with the many guys who surrounded us, we were being checked out. Two guys approached the table, one of whom Carolyn already knew.

“David! Hey, how are you?” She addressed the taller of the two. He looked a little like Charles, blond and broad, but his hair was cropped very short, rather than in dreadlocks like Charles’ was.

“I thought that was you.” He reached over and gave Carolyn a hug. “It’s been such a long time! How have you been, babe?”

“I’ve been good. How about you?” She smiled up at him. I hadn’t seen Carolyn smile like that since college, when we used to go to keg parties together. It was her “come get me” smile.

“Oh, I’m hanging in there.” His friend standing next to him cleared his throat. “Oh, sorry Max. Uh, Max, this is Carolyn. She and I were in a play together at the Guthrie.”

“Nice to meet you,” he said to her. He turned to me, but before I could introduce myself, Carolyn broke in. “And this is my friend Faith. She and I went to college together, and she moved down here a few weeks ago.”

They both smiled, muttered things like “cool!” or “great!” and nodded their heads. For an uncomfortable moment nobody said anything, but then Carolyn relented.

“Would the two of you like to join us?”

“Sure!” said David. “Hey, what are you two drinking?”

“Vodka tonic, light on the tonic.” said Carolyn.

“Miller Light.” I said.

David reached into his pocket, and handed Max a twenty. “Why don’t you go buy these ladies another round?”

Max smiled and said sure, and walked to the bar as David sat down next to Carolyn. I wondered why David couldn’t get the drinks himself, but it soon became clear he was wasting no time in getting close to Carolyn. He already had his arm around her. Carolyn, who had finished her second drink, relaxed into his embrace.

“So, tell me really, how have you been?” He leaned in and spoke to her as if they were the only two people in the room.

“I’ve been kind of restless,” said Carolyn. “How have you been?”

He ignored her question. “Restless? Why have you been restless? I thought you were the girl who had it all.”

She laughed, and sucked on an ice cube from the bottom of her drink. “No. I am not that girl. I am the girl who has it all, but wants more.”

“Well hey, there’s nothing wrong with that.” He inched even closer to her than he already was. “You know, I always thought you were too good for this place. Have you ever thought about hitting
New York
or
Los Angeles
? See how you do there?”

She squealed like a call-in prizewinner on a radio morning show. “Oh my God! I can’t believe you asked me that! Because I’ve been thinking about it, really seriously.”

I tried to interrupt. “Carolyn, you’ve been thinking about it seriously? I thought it was just something that you were considering.”

She waved her hand as if to dismiss me. “You know what I mean. Same thing.” Her attention turned back to David. “So, you think that I ought to go for it, then?”

“Yeah!” he said. “I mean, I am. I’m leaving for
New York
in a month. Hey, I know! You ought to come out there and stay with me. That way you can check it out. What do you think?”

“Sure! That would be great!”

“Carolyn!” I nearly shouted, “Don’t you think you ought to talk to your boyfriend, Charles, about this? You know, the one who wants to marry you?”

Her eyes squinted and reprimanded me before her words dug in. “Actually, Faith, I think I’m an adult, and can handle my own life. Thanks though.”

Max came back with the drinks. He handed them to us, and sat down next to me.

“So,” he asked, “what did I miss?”

Nobody answered him. Instead, David leaned over and whispered something in Carolyn’s ear, and they both started to laugh. She then whispered something in his ear, and they both laughed again. Max and I looked at each other, as if to concede how unpleasant the situation had become. As Carolyn and David continued their own private little conversation, Max addressed me.

“So, you just moved here, huh? What do you think so far?”

It was difficult to divert my attention away from Carolyn and David. However, I was raised to be polite, so I turned to face him and answered his question.

“It’s fine. I don’t have a job yet, but other than that, things are okay.”

He took a swig of his drink. “What sort of a job are you looking for?”

“I’m a teacher.”

“Oh yeah? My sister’s a teacher. She teaches fifth grade. What do you teach?”

“Well, nothing right now, but I’m looking for a job in high school English.”

He smiled, and I noticed he was actually kind of cute. He had a clean-cut look about him, with brown hair and a close shave. He was good looking enough to be a model actually, but his appearance was better suited for a J.C. Penny circular than the Abercrombie catalogue.

“Wow,” he said, “you must be brave. I could never deal with teenagers everyday.”

I shifted in my chair, further away from Carolyn and David, trying to block out their continuing laughter. “I get that comment a lot when I tell people what I do. But truly, it’s all relative. Sure, there are bad days when you work with kids, but at least I don’t go to work everyday feeling like I’ll get fired if I don’t make some quota. I think teaching is a lot less scary than say, selling something.” From behind me I could still hear their giggles, but it was getting easier to ignore. I took a swig of my beer. “So what do you do?”

“I sell things,” he said with a laugh.

“Really?”

He laughed again. “Really. Well, actually, I sell time for a radio station. You know, advertising time? It’s not so bad.”

“Yeah, and I would think there’s something almost cosmic about that, selling time.”

He noticed my drink had left a wet spot on the table, so he took his napkin and reached across to wipe it up. “I work for an 80’s sta-tion. There’s nothing cosmic about that.”

“Do you have certain quotas that you have to fill?” I asked.

“Well, sort of...” Max was beginning to explain, when David interrupted.

“So hey guys, I think we’re going to get out of here.” He gestured towards Carolyn as he said it.

I had to risk it. Even if it meant Carolyn would be angry with me.

“Guys, could you excuse us please, for a moment. I need to talk to Carolyn alone.”

She gave me another glaring look, but said nothing. David hesitated, but Max came to my rescue.

“Sure,” he said. “Come on Dave, let’s go outside for a sec.”

Carolyn sat slouched in her seat as she watched the two of them leave, purposefully not looking at me. I waited until they were gone, and then I asked her.

“Carolyn, what in God’s name are you doing?”

She still would not look at me as she answered. “Oh, don’t get moralistic on me. You have no idea what my life is honestly like. And weren’t you the one who said we should go get a drink in the first place? That I shouldn’t be at home, waiting around for Charles?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t mean....” How to finish this sentence? “A few hours ago you were afraid to leave your apartment for fear of hurting Charles. Now you’re going to cheat on him?”

She turned to face me in anger. “Faith, who said I was going to cheat on him? Do you actually think I would do that?”

Actually, I did think that she would do something like that. She basically said so herself when she was trying to convince me to go after Ethan. But delicacy was necessary at the moment. “I don’t know, but I can say that David out there thinks that, or at the very least, he is hoping for it.”

Her gaze shifted down, so that she was now staring at her drink, as if it somehow held an answer to the dilemma she was facing.

I continued. “Look, I’m not going to judge you. I think that maybe you’re upset and you’ve had a couple of drinks, and you’re not thinking too clearly. That’s all. I don’t want you to do something that you are going to regret.”

“Right,” she said. When she looked up at me, her eyes were as sad and lost as a kindergartner’s at the bus stop. “Faith, to tell you the truth, I haven’t been thinking too clearly for the past few months.” She was fighting tears as she said, “I have no idea what I want anymore. I mean, I love Charles, I do. I suppose I thought if I could have some fun, blow off some steam, things would be better.”

“Carolyn, I’m sorry, but I think that that’s a bad idea. I really, really do. You don’t want to hurt him, do you?”

She sighed and looked around the room. “Let’s get out of here,” she said. She got up to leave, and I threw some money down on the table, a tip for the waitress who had been serving us before the guys came along. Carolyn beat me outside, so when I got there, she was already talking to David.