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Authors: Amber L. Johnson

Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Erotica, #Romantic, #Romance, #Contemporary, #Romantic Comedy

For Authentication Purposes

BOOK: For Authentication Purposes
8.31Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub

Title Page



An Introduction to Bunny and Wardo






















A Farewell to Bunny and Wardo

About the Author


For Authentication Purposes


Amber L. Johnson


Copyright © Amber L. Johnson, 2015

The right of Amber L. Johnson to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her under the
Copyright Amendment (Moral Rights) Act 2000

This work is copyright. Apart from any use as permitted under the Copyright Act 1968, no part may be reproduced, copied, scanned, stored in a retrieval system, recorded or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

All characters and events in this Book – even those sharing the same name as (or based on) real people – are entirely fictional.  No person, brand, or corporation mentioned in this Book should be taken to have endorsed this Book nor should the events surrounding them be considered in any way factual.
This Book is a work of fiction and should be read as such.

Paperback ISBN- 978-1-61213-386-7
E-book ISBN- 978-1-61213-387-4

Cover image: © / konradbak
Cover design: Jennifer McGuire |
Interior design:
JEM Book Designs


Dedicated to the Fappers.
You know who you are.

An Introduction to Bunny and Wardo


It was as if my fingers were made of lead, wrapped together with twist ties and sealed over the top with Super Glue.

I couldn’t type.

My eyes felt like they were full of fiberglass due to the amount of time spent at my computer, staring at the same passage until it was just a blur of words. Maybe if I started from the top and read it through, inspiration would strike again. I was desperate for it because I’d given myself a certain amount of time to write the first twenty chapters of my novel, and it just didn’t seem to be happening.

Either I had developed the worst case of writer’s block in history, or I was going to have to trash everything and start over.

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and counted to ten before opening them and reading through the beginning of the chapter again. My heroine was sitting by the sea, waiting for her lost lover to return from a voyage that had ended, in all likelihood, with his death. She was sad and heartbroken thinking that he’d never return.

Iris sighed and laid her back against the cold, damp sand, watching her hair rise and fall with the wind coming off the sea. She closed her eyes and imagined Vlad there, walking toward her from the foggy shoreline; his rippling chest muscles straining beneath tattered clothing. His eyes were as dark as the stormy ocean waves that had been rumored to have taken his life.

She turned her body sideways to curl her legs into her chest, her hands gliding across the bodice that held her together secure and tight, allowing her bountiful breasts to spill from the top; her pink pebbled love buttons threatening to pop out of their rigid home. She shivered at the thought of his lips there, the memory lingering after so many lonely months.

“Vlad,” she whispered, knowing that her words would be swallowed by the sound of waves. Her mind fought through her sadness to pull the images of him, naked and warm beneath her the night before he boarded his vessel. She’d kissed him with as much fervor as she could muster, letting herself become lost in his touch.

Her hands trailed over her breasts as she remembered his lips kissing her with hunger. With one firm tug, she pulled the bodice lower and allowed the salty sea air to assault her already aching nubs. A moan left her mouth as she caressed a thumb over each and shuddered outright.

He’d taken that bodice in his hands and ripped it apart, allowing her hefty bosom to bounce in his face. He had smiled and licked all over her pale, white skin, making her thrash about in ecstasy as she was brought to the pinnacle of passion by his mouth on her chest.

As the memory took hold, she allowed herself to sink her feet into the sand, her knees widening beneath her gauzy skirt as her hands drifted lower across her abdomen and between her thighs. She let her mouth fall open as her fingers pressed the delicate center of her aroused flower. Her moans became louder as she conjured up more memories of her beloved Vlad pressing his turgid manhood into her with lust and filling her so deep that she ached and felt split in two.

“Finish with me,” he’d commanded as he picked up his pace, throwing her to her back and assaulting her breasts over and again until she reached her climax and was sent soaring into the stratosphere as everything went black and her body went limp under his. She exploded inside and was catapulted into the stratosphere, bursting into light and fireworks embers as she fell to the earth again.

Iris cried out at the release as it washed over her again at the thoughts that had invaded her mind. She felt herself let go and her fingers stopped their ministrations, now silky wet with her expulsion. As she came down from her high, she began to sob, feeling as though she had betrayed him by pleasing herself when she should have been grieving.

. . .

. . .

. . .

I stared at the screen and sighed. I was stuck.


With a groan, I closed my laptop and scooted away from the desk.


“Coming, Frank.” I was trying to be as cheerful I could muster. The older gentleman I cared for during the day sometimes slept a little later than three, but now he was awake so it was my job to help him after his nap.

Frank was propped up on his bed, his arms folded across his chest as he waited for me to appear in his doorway. A naughty grin crossed his wrinkled face as he gave me a wink.

“You gonna give an old man his dying wish and crawl in between the sheets with me today, babyface?” He wiggled his white eyebrows and made a kissy noise while I scrunched my nose and rolled my eyes.

“Not if you were the last man on Earth and your ball bags held enough man batter to repopulate the planet,” I shot back with a snicker.

He let out a shout and slapped the mattress. “That’s my girl. I’ll leave you a five dollar bill in my will.”

Now that might not have been a joke. The old coot was always going on about how much it cost him to have in-home care. I wouldn’t be surprised if I ended up having to chip in for his funeral when he decided he’d had enough of his time in the bed he’d been restricted to and kicked the bucket. Sometimes I could get him into his wheelchair and take him on walks around his property, but the weather in Cleveland was so murky that the majority of his time was spent sleeping, reading, or watching television.

The job was easy due to the fact that I cleaned bedpans and helped him shift from side to side to eliminate bedsores. Otherwise, he kept to himself and I made sure his house was clean before his daughter, Blair, would come home from work to take over for the evening.

It had worked out to my advantage to have a day job that left me open to do as I wished. I was allowed to write as much as I could fit into the hours of my day, and then I went to some night classes three times a week to work toward my degree in English.

I figured having a degree would help me look more credible when I started sending out my manuscript to publishing houses and querying agents. After all, very few writers that I knew of had made it big without having a degree behind them. I wanted to give myself every chance to succeed.

The rest of the day went by in a blur, and by the time Blair showed up, I was running late for my class. She gave me her usual apologies about traffic and being held up at work. I knew I couldn’t be that upset about it because she was doing her best to look after her father in his old age. I figured she didn’t want to rush home to care for him any more than I wanted to wipe his ass on a daily basis.

Blair and I understood each other to that extent.

I waved goodbye to her, telling her that I thought her new haircut looked nice. In reality she had been much more attractive with longer brown hair than the shorter, shoulder length black-dyed bob she had acquired during her lunch hour. Blair might have been gorgeous at one point in her life. The death of her mother, Lynda, had been very traumatic for her, after which, her social life had all but died with caring for her ailing father. She had become a shell of the woman she could have been had her life taken a different turn.

At the rate I was going, my life might end up much the same.

Pushing that thought from my mind, I headed to campus. Hoping to be undetected, I slipped through the door as quietly as possible and crossed the room to climb onto the one empty stool. Professor Gunther just gave me a dirty look and turned back to the whiteboard, raking his green marker over the melamine and making my eyes squint each time he dotted an

I was just settling in when I heard a loud whisper….


My shoulders stiffened, and I pulled my laptop from its bag, placing it on the high table instead of responding.

“Bunny. Bunneh . . . Bunneh . . . Bunnybunnybunnybunny . . .”

I shot a dirty look his way and glared. “Stop calling me that, you immature prick.”

His eyes widened, and he snapped his teeth together with happiness, white gum popping and crackling in his back teeth. “You love it.”

“Never have, Wardo.” I opened my laptop, shielding my face from him.

Warner Green’s long fingers appeared over the top of my screen, and he folded it down from his side of the table. Blue eyes twinkled with mischief as he popped another bubble. “I just wanted to borrow a pencil. You don’t have to be such a bitch.”

Rolling my eyes, I sighed and dug around in my book bag, pulling out a mechanical pencil and handing it to him without looking his way. “Sorry. I’m just going off all my other interactions with you for the past ten years. You’re always an asshole. Call it a Pavlovian response to your voice.” I turned my attention to the professor as he droned on.

Just as I felt my eyes starting to droop, Gunther dropped a bomb on us. “Partner up. Lab is due in two weeks.” He waved some papers around and handed them out as people began to slide their stools together. In a panic, I turned around to look for someone to couple up with and was met with the amused laugh of Warner Mindfuck Green.

“Jesus,” I muttered under my breath.

Warner waved for the papers from Gunther, never averting his eyes from my irritated face. Once he had them in his hands, he scooted his stool over to mine and slapped the copies down on the tabletop.

“I have to pee.” I sighed and slipped off my chair to go to the bathroom. Substantial space from Warner was needed at that moment, before I hauled off and hit him upside the head. I decided to take a minute to settle down in the girls’ room. No one in this entire world could fluster me as bad as he could. I’d known it since I was fourteen years old. And while I was surprised to find him in my lab unit on our first day, I’d had every intention of letting sleeping dogs lie and giving him the benefit of the doubt.

Within the first minute he’d called me Bunny, and I knew he’d never change. I’d been an idiot to think otherwise.

But having him as a lab partner?


If I believed in Karma, then it would lead me to believe that I was getting payback for some sort of reprehensible crime at the moment.

Maybe I had known where Jimmy Hoffa was buried and never told the cops.

With a huge sigh, I washed my hands in the sink and resecured my ponytail, making sure there were no bumps on the crown of my head. I swiped at the dark rings under my eyes, laughing a little when I realized that they weren’t caused by runny makeup, just by my own self-doubt eating me alive from the inside out.

BOOK: For Authentication Purposes
8.31Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub

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