For Love and Vengeance (8 page)

Aviva was again
seated on the bed when Jason came back into the room. She took the bottle of
water he held out towards her and looked down at it for a few moments. Only
then did Jason realize she would struggle to open it with only the use of one
hand.

Mentally kicking
himself for his thoughtlessness, he retrieved the bottle and unscrewed the top
before handing it back to her.

“Thank you,”
Aviva said with a small smile meant to reassure him that she knew his actions
had not been an insensitive act. Taking a few swallows from the bottle, she
placed it on the bedside table within easy reach should she need it again.

Before Jason had
regained his seat, Aviva began to speak.

“When I next
regained consciousness, I had no idea how long I’d been out or where I was.
However, nothing had changed. I was still restrained and I was surrounded by
darkness. Only this time, there seemed to be a difference. I couldn't feel
anything over my eyes, but it didn't matter. I was still experiencing total
darkness. I never really knew that total darkness existed until that moment. No
matter where I looked, there was nothing…just darkness.

“I thought I was
scared before, but I was wrong. The feelings I’d experienced before, in no way
compared to the feeling running through me in that moment. It was also eerily
quiet…unnatural, as though I had been entombed and this was my final resting
place.

“Then I felt it,
a stir in the air, something or somebody was with me. It was benevolent. I
could feel it flowing over me, raising the fine hairs on my arms, the back of
my neck. Then it was gone, as quickly as it came it was gone. That's when I
started to shake. I shook so much I imagined my skin would rupture, unable to
contain my bones. I was scared, Jason…so scared…so alone.

“I started to pray.
I asked my momma to watch over me, and I was sure I felt her. She told me
everything would be alright. I would just have to pull on all she had taught me
as I grew up. That’s when I became resolute. I was going to get out of there
alive. I didn't know how, but I would get out. I had too much to live for. I
had just met you, and I wanted to spend a lifetime getting to know you, and
bossing the mighty Jason King around. I wanted to have your babies, grow old
with you, sit in our rocking chairs and glory in our grandchildren as they
played around us, knowing that at the end of their wonderful time spent with
us, there would just be the two of us. I tried, Jason, honestly I tried to be
strong.

“I heard a
movement. Out of nowhere, a face was looking at me, staring right at me. My
mind was so jumbled, I couldn’t understand how I could see the face in the
darkness. Just as quickly, it was gone. I couldn't keep it in, I screamed. Then
I heard the laughter. It seemed to be reverberating around the room. I couldn't
tell where it was coming from. Then another shift of air passed beside me...the
face appeared again, it was smiling, laughing at me. It was too much. I passed
out.

“The next time I
awoke, I didn't want to open my eyes, I was afraid of what was waiting for me.
Little by little, I realized I could detect light.

“The man knew I
was awake and told me to open my eyes. I didn't want to but I complied. He was
real, this I could deal with, anything was better than the uncertainty of the
darkness.

“My God, he was a
talker. He told me all about knowing you as a child and the things that he’d
done to you. I couldn’t help thinking he desperately wanted to hear my response
to what he had to say. But I remained silent. Refusing to say one word or even
utter a cry, even though his words broke my heart at what you had suffered. I
knew he was a coward who drew his strength from those weaker than himself and I
stopped being scared. Instead, I spit in his face, and I was glad that I’d done
it…my error was showing him my fear of him had gone.”

Jason felt sick
to his stomach, as though a vice were wringing his intestines into a tight
knot. He wanted the story to be at an end, but he knew there was more. “Do you
need to take a break, Angel?”

“No, I need to
get to the end.

“He hit me in the
face for spitting on him. Yet, somehow, I didn't feel the pain, or maybe I just
didn't care because I knew I’d do it again and worse if I could. He was filth
and I’d treat him as such.

“I was watched
constantly by at least two men. I don't know what they expected me to do, I was
tied up on a hard bed, and they had replaced the filthy rag in my mouth. My
God, they even watched me as I used the bathroom. They didn't give me much
food, just water and some noodles in a pot that they had poured boiling water
over. It was disgusting.

“Every time they
removed my gag, I cussed them out. It was as though every cuss word I had ever
heard had been stored up just for them, and came spilling from my mouth. My
mother would have been ashamed of me if she could have heard me.

“My
disrespect
as they called it was the start of the burning. The one that smoked would lift
up my top and put out his cigarettes on my back. One perverse bastard thought it
was amusing to piss on the burns, saying he had heard that urine carried
enzymes that alleviated the symptoms of burns. It was just one big joke to
them. I wanted to die, just as much as I wanted to live to kill them all. The
pain was excruciating.”

Jason sprung to
his feet and rushed out of the room at a dead run.

Bursting into the
kitchen, Jason came to a sudden standstill. Looking around, he walked towards a
wall, his steps deliberate as though it were taking a great deal of
concentration to reach his destination. Stopping before it, he raised his hand.
Then he punched it, hard, again and again.

His brothers, who
had been patiently waiting, jumped to their feet at the pain he was inflicting
on himself. It had to stop. They had come to know Jason and knew they were in
for a fight, but they wouldn't stand by and let him hurt himself in that way.

Just as his hand
was about to make contact with the wall yet another time, Jake grabbed hold of it
to stop him. Jason had been punching the wall with his left hand and so he
swung at Jake with his right. Jake saw the blow coming, and he was fast, but
not fast enough to completely avoid Jason's fist. The blow, although glancing,
was enough to rock him back, but he held on to Jason's arm.

A fraction of a
second later, Josh tackled Jason from behind. He fought them with everything he
was worth, and just as suddenly as he started, he stopped. Aviva was standing
in the doorway with tears running down her face and a hand clasped over her
mouth to hold in her sobs.

Jason's eyes were
rooted to her. It was his fault. He was the cause of her tears. Everything was
always his fault. Then it hit him, as clear as crystal. He may want her more
than anything he had ever wanted in his whole miserable life, but he couldn't
have her. She wasn't meant for him. If only he had understood this one simple
fact earlier, her suffering could have been avoided.

Aviva could see
something in his eyes. They had turned into black, fathomless pools of
acceptance. She knew before he spoke that his words would be ones of rejection
of her, and their relationship.

“No!”

“It's for the
best, Angel.”

“Jason, please
listen to me. We can work this out.”

“You don't
understand. If you stay around me, something else will happen to you. It's what
always happens to the people I love, and you mean the world to me. I can't let
that happen to you. It would destroy me!”

“No, Jason!”

“You may not
understand it now, but you will soon enough. I couldn't live with myself if
anything else happened to you. Please, you just need to stay away from me...please,
stay away from me… It's for the best.”

Jason was unaware
of how his words belied his very meaning. The others in the room had perfect
clarity of what was taking place. By pushing her away, Jason thought he was
being selfless, protecting her from her fate. What he failed to grasp was that
he was her fate. He could push her away as much as he felt necessary but she
would always try to hold on to him. Aviva started walking towards him, her
hands outstretched, convinced she could make him understand that no matter what
they had both been through, they belonged together.

Her approach was
the final straw. Jason snapped, flinging off the loosened grips of his brothers’
hands with one mighty burst of strength. Sweeping his hand across the counter,
he sent everything crashing to the floor.

Aviva was
startled by the unexpectedness and violence of his sudden movement and was
unable to withhold her cry of surprise.

“Get her out,
Josh. Get her out...now!”

Josh picked her
up, causing her to scream out in pain. He was mortified at how he had managed
to hurt her so badly. He had been gentle. Like his brothers, he was a big man
and around women he was very aware that he had the capacity to inadvertently
cause them harm. How had he hurt her so badly?

“Put her down!”
Jason wanted to go to her but how could he? He had just spouted all the reasons
why he should keep away, yet at her cry of pain, every instinct in him wanted
to go to her.

Aware of her real
pain yet not understanding it, Josh lowered her to the floor. She immediately
tried to step around him to go to Jason, but he blocked her path. It was not
the time. Whatever had taken place upstairs, Jason needed time to regain
control of his emotions.

Josh bent down
and whispered into her ear. Whatever his spoken words, they worked. With one
last tearful look in Jason's direction, Aviva turned and walked out of the room
with Josh following. The sounds of her sobs constricted Jason's heart. But he
held firm to his declaration of their need for separation.

~~~~~~~~~~

As Aviva's sobs
faded, Jason released the breath he had been holding. It wasn't so much the
relief of no longer being able to hear her distress, it was rather a respite in
his blinding rage. He knew with an absolute certainty that if he lived to be a
hundred years old, he would never forget the words she had spoken when describing
what she had been through. What she had suffered because of him. Jason still
clutched on to the countertop as though he would go crashing to the floor
without its support.

With his eyes
fixed firmly on his brother, Jake watched Jason as tear after tear splashed
against the granite surface onto which he held so desperately. Jason made no
sound in his grief. His silent sorrow the evidence to his pain. Jake's heart constricted
as he wondered how much hurt this one man was supposed to bare.

He wanted to
enfold Jason in his arms, to show him that he was willing to share his burden
if he would let him, but he knew such a move would be rebuffed. Jason still
wasn't ready to fully embrace what it meant to be family. What he could do,
however, was listen. That much he would do.

“Tell me what
happened, Jason.”

Jake's words were
met with continued silence and an abrupt cessation of Jason's tears. It was as
though he had just remembered that he wasn’t alone. Slowly, Jason's back began
to straighten. Jake imagined he could see each vertebra reposition itself until
Jason once again stood at his imposing six feet five.

“What happened to
her, Jason?”

Turning
deliberately, Jason looked in Jake's direction, his eyes fixed and unblinking
as though he were trying to recall who he was. Then he moved, his actions
jerky, uncoordinated. After a few steps, Jake thought his brother would keel
over and rushed to his aid. Placing one strong arm around him, Jake took
Jason’s weight to support him.

Jason didn't stop
moving, he was now looking at the wall he had punched a hole through and seemed
to be moving in that direction. Jake was at once filled with trepidation,
knowing that should Jason decide to hurt himself in the way he had when he had
first entered the kitchen, he wouldn’t be able to prevent him on his own.

When Jason made
contact with the wall, it was with braced open palms. Jake loosened his grip
and Jason turned, supporting his back against the surface. He slid down until
his ass hit the ground, his legs finally giving out. Then he was still,
unmoving, his legs extended straight out before him, the back of his hands
resting on the kitchen floor, palms open and lax.

Moving with
caution, Jake curled his large body and sat beside his twin and waited.

“They hurt her,
Jake. They hurt her really, really badly. Then they humiliated her, then they
degraded her and then they hurt her some more,” Jason whispered, as though
speaking to himself. “For that, I intend to find them, and then I'm going to
hurt them. When I'm done with them, grown men are going to cry for their
mothers. Then I'm gonna kill each and every one of them, slowly, with as much
pain as I can conceive.”

“Jason...what did
they do to her?”

Cutting his eyes
towards his brother, Jason's silence lasted for a full minute as he held Jake's
gaze, his iris’s turning obsidian with the deep emotion he was feeling...hatred
and rage, an uncontrollable rage.

When Jason began
to speak, it was without emotion, and he left nothing out.

~~~~~~~~~~

Josh walked
behind Aviva as she climbed the stairs back to the bedroom she and Jason were
sharing. He prayed she would be able to retrace her steps unaided, dread
gripping him at the thought of the pain she would experience should he have to
carry her. Their progress was slow. He could tell that it was filled with pain
for her, evident in the way her body seemed to be progressively curling into
itself. He wanted to help her but he didn't know how.

What had they
done to this little gregarious woman who, from the moment he met her, had
captured his heart. He wished...it didn't matter what he wished because he had
to deal with the reality, and the reality was, she belonged to his brother.
Never, in deed or through vocalization, would he dishonor either of them. Yet
in his silent moments, alone with only his thoughts, he wished.

Arriving at the
bedroom, Josh reached around a deflated Aviva and opened the door. Her
movements had now turned into more of a shuffle, reminiscent of a person three
times her age. His rage which had been on a slow burn began to rise and he knew
he couldn't let it vent...now, but he would, very soon.

Aviva headed
directly for the bed. She needed to lay down before her legs gave out. She was
tired, so very tired, and emotionally spent. But her thoughts refused to
settle, jumping around without cessation, first reliving her ordeal, then thankfulness
that she was safe and finally Jason’s rejection.

Oh Lord,
she thought,
when did I turn into such a drama queen!
Jason
King could protest and balk as much as he wanted but he belonged to her, and
once she felt better, she was going to make sure he understood exactly that.
What she wanted, she fought for. She had mentally fought those sadistic
bastards who put her through her own personal hell, and here she was. How could
she do anything less than fight for her future with the man she loved? But even
that positive thought was tempered with nagging feelings of uncertainty, that one
day he would walk away from her, as he was attempting to do now.

With difficulty,
Aviva pulled herself onto the large bed. All she really wanted was for the pain
to stop and for Jason to come strolling in through the door. For him to lay
down beside her, enfold her in his strong arms with the reassurance that
everything would be alright. That he would never leave her. Then she wanted to
go home. England was no longer her home. It had ceased to be so since the death
of her mother.

There she was, feeling
very much alone, having made the phone call her every instinct had warned her
against, only to find the Kingdom clan, to her surprise were already in
England, searching for her.

Aviva knew Josh
was at a loss of how to help her. Jake supported them all in his watchful,
stoic silence, and Jason, his love for her emanated from his very being. Attempting
to show his gallantry and his love by thinking he needed to set her free. In
their own way, each of the Kingdom brothers were men any woman would be blessed
to have. She knew Jason loved her, just as she knew she was also a hair’s breadth
away from losing him forever.

As Aviva's
thought looped around and around, and finally rested on the thought of what her
life would be like without Jason in it. She had read somewhere that if you’re
lucky and the fates were kind, you would find the one person put on the earth
that would complete you. She had found hers and she wasn't letting him slip
through her fingers. When she had looked into his face after his outburst, she
had seen a resolve that she somehow had to break. But she didn't know how.

Her mind,
refusing to remain still, jumped back to the dark room.
The room of
nightmares
. That was her unspoken name for her holding pen. The room where
nightmares become reality. She had seen his reaction to the little she had told
him of what she went through. She had only been testing the waters. From his
reaction, never would she be able to retell the full extent of her ordeal. It
would break him. For Jason’s sanity, she would withhold the whole truth, even
though, within the deepest recesses of her mind, she would forever relive the
horror of what had taken place. She knew Jason would take the blame of the actions
of unscrupulous men upon himself and make it his own failing for not protecting
her. For that reason alone, she would carry the full extent of her ordeal and
her time away from him to her grave.

Yet how does one
live with such humiliation, such shame? How does one recapture the innocence
because it was the most euphoric form of innocence that came before unspeakable
humiliation? Somehow, her baby had done it and she too would find the strength
to break through the web of despair that moment by moment attempted to ensnare
her. She just thanked God that their perversion excluded women and she had not
been raped by their physical beings. So lost in thought, Aviva was unaware that
silent tears flooded her eyes, accompanied by sobs of despair.