For You (The 'Burg Series) (45 page)

He watched her lips part slowly, like the skin didn’t want to separate, before she said, “Really? How weird.”

“Not weird when you know what I know.”

“What do you know?”

He ran his hands down her ass then up her back and around her ribs, the sides of his thumbs brushing the undersides of her breasts. Colt just wanted to touch her, remind himself she was real, this Feb sitting astride him, gazing at him, her face gentle, her hands warm. But his cock jerked when her lips parted again, this time in a different way, just as her eyes grew soft. She liked his touch a lot and she didn’t guard against showing it. Colt liked both knowing she liked it and that she wasn’t afraid of showing it.

He moved his hands down to the tops of her thighs. He wanted to fuck her but he wanted to fuck her when he knew Jackie was asleep, Jack was still at the bar, he had this shit out and he never had to speak of it again. She looked at him like that again he’d fuck her on the couch.

Therefore, his hands stopped moving and he kept talking. “I got there, he took one look at me, put his hands up and said immediately ‘I’ll tell you everything, Colt,’ I didn’t hear him, wanted to beat the shit out of him, that’s all that was on my mind. He backed up, tryin’ to calm me down, his Dad got between us, another farmer, that’s when Morrie got in, got me out, we were into it in the parking lot when Sully got there.”

One of her hands moved from his neck to his jaw then it lifted and she smoothed one of his eyebrows. Then both of her hands dropped to his chest.

Through this she didn’t say a word. She wanted it to help, he knew and it did, just not much.

 
When her hands settled, Colt kept talking. “Sully had called Chris and Chris got there fast. By this time I was calm enough to share what we’d figured out and Sully talked me into going with Chris to Frank’s for coffee. I went and Morrie and Sully went in to talk to Craig. They came to Frank’s after, relieved Chris and told me what they learned.”

“What’d they learn?”

Colt shook his head. He still couldn’t believe it even hearing it and repeating it, he couldn’t believe it.

“Craig couldn’t wait to talk,” he told Feb. “They barely got him in the office before he split wide open. Sully said Craig called it ‘livin’ under a thundercloud’.”

Her head tilted and she muttered, “I don’t get it.”

“He isn’t surprised about Denny, not in the slightest, Feb,” he informed her and he watched understanding dawn as he continued. “Says he was gonna come into the Station that day anyway, he’d heard about Denny, Marie, Amy, all the shit’s been goin’ down. He knew it’d come out and he didn’t want that shit to stick to him.”

“So, he was in on it.”

Colt shook his head but answered, “Yes and no. He said he thought it was going to be a joke, Denny convinced him of it. Said Denny talked him into going with him and they broke into his Dad’s pharmacy and got some shit, Denny knew what he wanted, where to find it, had it all planned out. They were gonna play games at the party. He said he didn’t know what Denny took or what it could do, not until after but he reckoned Denny knew. Then Denny slipped the shit to me, Craig saw him do it and couldn’t believe it. He freaked out because he knew if I found out I’d go ballistic. He just didn’t expect he’d have to wait a couple of decades for it to happen.”

She nodded and slid a hand up to where his neck met his shoulder, fingers digging into the muscle, massaging the tension there.

Her touch felt good and he finally felt the tension start to ebb as he kept going. “Once I started to stagger, Craig figured either Denny gave me too much or that this game wasn’t gonna be as fun as he thought. Denny told him the drug would make people high, make ‘em do or say stupid shit and wouldn’t last long. Denny told him it was all a lark and there were no side effects, folks would just laugh, it’d be a hoot. What he saw it did to me, Craig didn’t like so Craig says he stepped in. So no one would see me and I wouldn’t hurt myself, he says
he
took me upstairs and into Sherry and Sheila’s folks’ room.”

The bitterness was clear in Feb’s tone when she mumbled, “Nice of him.”

Colt gave her thighs a squeeze. “Pissed as I was this mornin’ Feb, I think he was tryin’ to do right.” She shook her head, not yet willing to believe and Colt went on. “Craig says he closed the door and later, when you asked him about me, he knew you’d take care of me so he told you where I was. Though he was a surprised when you came rocketing back down not five minutes after you went up. He knew by lookin’ at you something was not right but he couldn’t get to you to ask before you headed out.”

“I got out of there fast,” she whispered and Colt nodded.

She didn’t need to say more, they’d been there, that was done.

Earlier that night without his asking, she’d laid herself bare for him, handed him her life, her loneliness, the pain Denny had caused. After wishing for years for Feb to let him in, he found listening to her, after she cut through his anger, he didn’t want it anymore. Listening to her nearly made him come out of his skin. But he made himself listen because he knew she was offering him a gift. A gift he thought he needed but realized when she gave it to him, he didn’t want it even though it was a gift he felt honored that he received.

But they weren’t ever going there again, not ever again. No matter what happened, what fights they slid into, what she feared, he wasn’t going to throw that in her face because, no matter how she felt about herself, there was nothing to throw. He didn’t know about the lies, the betrayals, the blows he’d unwittingly landed when he didn’t make love to her. He didn’t know all that as the sickness that Denny planted years ago twisted in his gut that day. He didn’t know he should have never made her go there in the first place. It’d been tough to guide her back out. She seemed so broken he feared he might not be able to do it. He sure as fuck wasn’t going to take that chance again.

Colt lifted a hand, ran his fingers along her jaw and she twisted her neck, dipping her jaw to press against his fingers, accepting his unspoken apology or giving him her own. It didn’t matter which, both worked.
 

He dropped his hand back to her thigh and kept speaking. “So he went upstairs to see what was the matter,” Colt squeezed her thighs again before he said, “this is where it gets really ugly.”

She lifted her other hand to his shoulder and started massaging there too as she said gently, “Tell me.”

Colt didn’t hesitate, this was the part he needed to get through and be done with, his own hell, a hell he didn’t remember and didn’t understand but he had it all the same, a hell Denny had led him to.

“Denny was in the hall outside the door, actin’ weird. Craig wasn’t dumb to the knowledge that Denny had a thing for you, though he thought it was a crush, one that he was surprised after high school didn’t go away. He’s not a stupid guy and figured that’s why Denny targeted me with the drugs. Says he tried to confront Denny in the hall but Denny wasn’t listening to him. Denny was excited about somethin’.” Feb shook her head, a look of pain sliding into her face and settling there.

She stopped massaging his shoulders before she whispered, “Amy.”

Colt nodded his head and tried not to let the heat prickling his skin take over. “Denny said he gave Amy ‘just a little, enough to nudge her in the right direction’. Sully said those were the exact words, told me Craig said he’d never forget them. Said Denny looked like a crazy motherfucker uttering them and he knew he was when he found out Denny was playin’ his game with Amy and me. I’m learnin’ that Amy chooses her friends wrong and Denny was one of ‘em. She’d spent some time with him and Craig and, for some reason, she shared with both of them that she had a crush on me.”

The lines formed by Feb’s eyebrows and her eyes went hazy trying to call up memories as she stated, “I don’t remember them bein’ friends.”

“Me either but Craig says they were.”

Her head tilted as she fought for recall and failed. “Well, it’s not like I paid a lot of attention to them,” she muttered before she focused on him and said, “Bet Denny didn’t like hearing that from Amy.”

Colt nodded his head, agreeing before he said, “Craig said Denny opened the door and by this time the deed was done. Amy wasn’t blitzed, not like me, not according to Craig. She had enough of her shit together to pull the covers over us. Craig said she was rolled in a ball under the comforter, bawling like a baby and I was out cold.”

“Colt,” Feb whispered, squeezing his neck but Colt shook his head.

“I’m okay, baby.”

“No, you’re not.”

She spoke the truth, he wasn’t.

This shit seemed like a story to him, he didn’t remember so it felt like he wasn’t there. But the truth of the matter was, he
was
there, he was there and he was rendered helpless, likely acting on base instinct, God only knew, but in doing so he violated another person. The worst of it was, Amy wasn’t out of it, not like Colt. She knew what was happening to her and that knowledge cut deep and his helplessness to stop it pissed him off deeper.

Colt pulled in breath. “You’re right, I’m not.”

She licked her lips then sucked them between her teeth before asking, “You wanna go on?”

“I don’t, I won’t,” Colt answered, Feb nodded, started massaging his shoulders again and he continued. “Craig says Amy was hysterical. Part drunk, part high, babbling. Denny was laughing, thought it was all hilarious. Craig got pissed, pushed Denny out of the room down the hall. They had words and it hit Craig then that what Denny felt for you wasn’t healthy. He had bigger worries though, Amy. Denny took off in a huff, Craig went back to Amy. When he did, she was dressed, pulling the covers over me, still crying, sayin’ over and over again, ‘It’s all my fault, it’s all my fault.’ Craig got her out of there, in his car and drove her around until she passed out then took her home. Didn’t want her Mom and Dad to see her high. Said her father was shocked, this wasn’t somethin’ Amy would do, but he asked Craig to carry her to her room because her father wasn’t a big guy, wasn’t strong, he couldn’t do it. He says he felt like a shit because her father thanked him, even shook his hand, glad Craig had looked after his daughter. Told him he was a good friend.”

“Oh Lord,” Feb whispered, “I wonder if they thought… when Amy came up pregnant –”

“Craig wondered too,” Colt cut her off. “Said that’s when the thundercloud formed over him. You and me split, Amy got pregnant, she stopped speakin’ to him for a time, Denny was off to Northwestern scot free, leavin’ Craig here right under the bus. He kept his trap shut, hated it but did it because he thought Denny would implicate him, especially since he was in on stealing the stuff. Said Amy never said word one to him about it after and she and her parents remained friendly to him even though, on Amy’s part, it was distant.”

Feb’s eyes wandered to the wall behind him and she said, “You know, don’t think I ever saw Craig and Denny together after that.”

“You wouldn’t have. Craig said he confronted Denny one more time, said, since he felt so much for you he should at least tell
you
what went down so you could fix it with me but Denny told him to go fuck himself. Their friendship was over at that point but Craig never got the courage to act on his own and time goes fast, shit happens, eventually it was all too late.”

Feb’s eyes had come back to him while he spoke and she asked, “He willin’ to testify to this?”

For the first time since the shit hit that morning, Colt smiled. His Feb was far from dumb.

“He says absolutely.”

Her hands stopped massaging and she asked, “Do you think this’ll go to court?”

Colt shook his head before dropping it back to the couch, his story was done and the exhaustion he felt from just talking seemed to seep into his bones. He slid his hands from her thighs, up her sides, one arm going around her waist, the other one up her back, her neck, into her hair. He pressed her down until she was flat against him, her forehead in his neck.

After he did this, he answered, “No way of knowin’, Feb, how this’ll turn out. If they’ll bring him in or if he’ll fight and get himself killed. Or, if they bring him in, if he’ll confess. Just don’t know.”

“If it does, will I have to testify?” Before he could answer, her hand gripped his neck and she surprised Colt by saying, “Because, if it gets to that, I’m willing.” Her hand squeezed his neck and she went on. “You can tell them that.” She pressed against him, at his chest, her forehead moving deeper into his neck. “I want it on record, I don’t care where and if no one ever reads it, I want it on record what he did to us. I want to sit in a room and face him and tell him how he made me feel. I don’t care if it doesn’t penetrate that sick brain of his, I’m willin’ to do it and I want the opportunity to tell him how much I hate him.”