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Simon blew out a deep breath and set his
empty glass on the mantel behind the decorations. Very poor taste,
but who am I to judge? "She really told you that? Did you propose a
courtship?"

This was something I hadn't done because I
hadn't been alone with her, but I would have. The next moment I was
alone with her, I'd ask and she'd say yes. I just wasn't sure how
to tell this to Simon. If I said no, he would think Rebecca was
fair game, and she was not. If I said yes and he caught me in the
lie, Rebecca might not take it well and leave me for being a liar.
I knew she deserved better than that so I hesitated before I
spoke.

Thankfully, the music ended and Anthony led
Rebecca back to us before I had to answer the question. God was
truly on my side at that moment, or so I thought.

"Excuse me," I told Simon and then forgot all
about him. I walked up to Rebecca and Anthony, not acknowledging my
friend any more than he had been acknowledging me.

"May I have a word?" I asked Rebecca with my
hands clamped behind my back. My hands which were aching to touch
her again.

Rebecca looked to Anthony, then Simon, then
back to me…

"You don't have to if you don't…" Anthony
began but she cleared her throat to stop his sentence.

"It is quite alright, cousin. I would be glad
to accompany Mr. Dodsworth." She raised her delicate hand and I
took it, overjoyed that Simon — and Anthony — got to see her
choice. As I led her out of the ballroom, I took the time to wink
at Simon just to let him in on the fact that I had won — and he'd
better not forget it.

If only I had played a better game.

We retreated to the
foyer and stopped at the stairs. After a brief chat, Rebecca went
up the stairs to retrieve her cloak and I sought my hat and top
coat. I knew it was frigid outside for the sun had gone down a
while before, but I also knew that there were too many people and
too many prying eyes in the Wexley Manor. I wanted some time alone
with Rebecca to make my intentions known to her.

You may think me foolish to move so quickly,
but have you forgotten about my good friend Wexley? He knew all
about my secret and do you really believe that I trusted him not to
tell Rebecca? Actually, yes. I did believe he would not tell her,
but only on that night. I believed that he would not want to ruin
her fun in the evening and, after I'd left, have a chat with her in
the morning. I knew he liked me as a friend, loved even because I
loved him as a brother. Still, when it came to family, real blood
family, that mattered not.

I wanted to talk to Rebecca first before
Anthony had a chance. If she had to know of my station in life,
then I would have rather it come from my lips and not his. I
thought, perhaps, that I could tell her about it in such a way that
she wouldn't worry for her future. I had prospects. I had job
opportunities. I could support her — someday. I was a bit naive
back then, but I had faith in myself and that was all I needed. I
knew I could convince her that love was enough — that what she felt
for me was enough.

From the corner of my eye, I watched as
Anthony and Simon entered the foyer from the ballroom. Both had
puzzled expressions on their faces upon seeing me in my top coat
and hat. Anthony opened his mouth to speak when the wooden
staircase creaked from the second floor and Rebecca descended in
her lovely red velvet cloak.

She stopped hastily. All eyes on her, well
the only eyes that mattered: Anthony's, Simon's, and mine. Her gaze
flickered between the three of us. Her cheeks blushed and she
averted her eyes. I didn't want her to be embarrassed. I never
wanted her to be embarrassed of me and honestly, it killed my soul
that I couldn't be what she wanted — what every young lady craved
in a husband.

I cleared my throat and addressed my friends
— and I use that term loosely now. "Miss Rebecca and I will be out
on the veranda. It is such a lovely night."

"It is a crisp night. Perhaps it is wise not
to go outside. We don't want Rebecca to get a chill," Anthony said,
challenging me. He had a look in his eyes I had never seen directed
at me before. Yes, I'd seen it at school when one of the lower
classmen dared speak to him, but never to me… I was his friend.
His. Friend. I thought that meant something.

You should know that I do not give away my
friendship or my trust easily. I have only given my trust to one
person in this life and that was Anthony Wexley. I shall regret
that decision every day of my life.

I was ready to counter when Rebecca beat me
to it. I was as surprised by her answer as my companions appeared
to be. "Cousin, it is alright. We won't be out long and I do wish
for some fresh air. You know how I feel being cooped up in the
house for hours on end."

"But the chill," Anthony said again. His
voice held a noticeable trace of desperation. I heard it. I hoped
Rebecca did not.

Anthony didn't want me alone with her. It is
understandable, I suppose, his position, but I cared not for how it
made him feel. I still don't.

"It will be alright." She spoke again. This
time with much more force and determination.

She reached the bottom step and I offered my
arm, which she took. "Yes, my friends." I made sure to emphasize
the word friend so they knew I was on to them. "We will only be on
the veranda and only for a short while. Besides, why must you
worry? I will take complete care of Miss Rebecca."

As we walked past Anthony, I couldn't help
but wink in his direction. This didn't please him, but it made me
feel better. I'd won this round and by Miss Rebecca's
insistence.

I felt lighter than I had in ages as we
passed a few other people who didn't even look our way as we walked
out onto the veranda. The chill did hurt my bones, but I refused to
show the effects of the cold for I didn't want Anthony to get the
satisfaction of being correct. A light layer of snow covered the
stone surface, and more snow fell from the heavens. Rebecca placed
her hood over her head, protecting those delicate features from the
coldness of December.

When I could not stand being apart any longer
than necessary, I took her hand in mine and turned her to look into
my eyes. "Will you walk with me?"

She blinked a few times to let the words sink
in. "But I thought... were we not staying on the veranda?

I smiled as innocently as I could. Did I
really think Anthony and Simon wouldn't spy on us? No. Of course
they would. That was why I paid Lord Culpepper to intercept them
and ask all manner of boring questions to keep them occupied and
always from the windows — away from me and Rebecca. "I would love a
stroll, if you don't mind? The movement might keep the chill away."
It wouldn't, more than likely, but I had nothing to lose. It was
now or never.

I do not know if she fell for my ruse because
she said not a word about it, but she did nod and allow me to
escort her down the stairs and toward the path to the garden. I had
the foresight to grab a lamp to guide our way, hoping that her
cousin wouldn't see it and find us.

I only needed a little bit of time. Just a
little bit to tell her the truth. I knew without a doubt in the
world that she loved me as much as I loved her — or at the very
least thought fondly enough of me to want to get to know me
better.

The snow eased to barely a flurry as we
reached the gardens. The interesting thing about Anthony's garden
was that it was constructed in the form of a maze. I hadn't known
that until we reached the high hedge about it and Rebecca informed
me.

"Are you ready for an adventure?" I asked,
hope filling my young voice.

"I believe I am." The lantern reflected in
her eyes, making them even more magical to me.

No, what we were doing wasn't proper. We
should not have been outside alone, let alone wandering the gardens
alone at night. If a daughter I cared about ever dared to do what I
did… or if ever a man ever had the gumption to take her outside
alone, I would have my pistol at the ready and he would not see his
next birthday.

However, at the time, I had none of the
things young men dream about running through my body. Though it is
obvious that Rebecca was beautiful, at that moment, I had no
indecent thoughts about what we could do so far away from
chaperones. On one hand, it was freezing cold and the notion of
being inappropriate would not be entirely possible. On the other
hand, I knew I only had precious few moments alone with Rebecca and
I did not want to waste them.

We walked through the hedge maze, her arm
tucked in the crook in my elbow, as we watched the little flurries
dance in the sky thanks to the light of my lantern. I had no fears
in that instant. Only peace. Only perfect peace for I knew what I
was doing was right. I believed in God, and I didn't think He would
give me such feelings if they weren't honest and true. He wouldn't
have caused me to love her so fully if He didn't make her love me
just the same. It would be a cruel thing to do to a person and the
God my mother told me about wasn't cruel.

I will speak no more on the matter of God or
good and evil. I will say that people make their own paths in this
life. Their own decisions. Some people in the here and now say that
I am a monster for using a man's sins against him. I say this… if a
certain man committed no sins, I would have nothing to use. If a
certain man was good and honest and pure and did no wrong, then I
would have no leverage over him. The men have their own sins. I do
not cause them. I do not make people sin. I only learn of them. I
learn of them. I use them. How does that make me evil?

"What's out here?" I asked as my nose became
chilled. I had not intended to be out in the cold so long and I
feared for not only my health, but Rebecca's. She seemed such a
fragile thing, little… helpless and I did not want to be the cause
of any ailment to befall her.

"Right around this bend and you will see,"
she answered as she took my hand and dragged me forward.

The unexpectedness of the gesture made me
laugh, and I gladly followed her into the unknown. I would have
followed her anywhere.

Sure enough, around the bend was something I
hadn't expected. In the middle of the maze in a clearing not very
large was a white gazebo. Unlit rush torches surrounded it. Rebecca
took a piece of parchment from her bag, lit it from the lantern I
held, and went around to each torch, lighting up the area. It truly
seemed a magical place. You probably think me foolish, but I could
imagine fairies dancing in the nighttime air, playing in the
snowflakes. I could see otherworldly sprits, things I never dreamed
of, floating through the air. We were shut off from the rest of the
earth, Rebecca and I. Secluded by the maze, cozy in our own little
world. I liked it. The magic in the air. The seclusion. It almost
made me believe that what I had to tell her wasn't true — and even
if it was — that it wouldn't matter.

She
brought me here. Rebecca. She took
me away from it all, from Anthony, from Simon and into our own
place. My mind finally comprehended what my heart had been saying
all along: Rebecca loved me as I did her. This was the proof.

I took her hand and led her up the steps to
the center of our world. Snowflakes fell all around, but none
touched us. Evergreen garland hung around the circular railing of
the gazebo, and I had to smile. It was as if Anthony's servants
made this place just for us.

I liked the irony in that.

I had read a fantasy romance novel once in my
life and it was out of sheer curiosity. I wanted to see what the
fuss was about when there were much more important things to read
about in the world. It was not my favorite book, but this moment
reminded me of it.

I took Rebecca's other hand and held them
between us, elated to be there with her and terrified of what I had
to tell her.

She blinked her eyes a few times and looked
away as if not believing what was going on herself. Perhaps she
could not believe that she had brought me to such a secluded
location. No matter for I could tell she was becoming chilled and
we needed to get back inside the house hastily.

I knew what I had to do… I knew what I had to
say… And so I began. "Miss Rebecca, I realize I have just met you
and I know that this is no tale of fairies told to children. I
understand this is real life and that the magic will fade soon. But
saying all of that, I want you to know that I am very fond of you.
More than fond if you want the truth."

I pulled her hands to me, resting them on my
chest. She was so close I could feel her breath. It was
intoxicating and I wanted nothing more than to close the distance
between us and claim her mouth as my own.

"Mr. Dodsworth," she began.