Forbidden Legacy (21 page)

Sleep-tousled hair framed eyes hazy with fatigue as Katherine stared at him.

She'd never looked so beautiful. He wanted to go to her, forget the horrific discovery of moments before, carry her to their chamber and make love with her as if the remainder of their life together lay ahead.

“What is wrong?”

The concern in her voice sent another wash of shame through him. “I couldna sleep.”

She stepped inside, glanced around. Her gaze rested upon the ledger. “Did you find something?”

He shrugged. “There is a great deal of information to review.”

“There is.” She walked over, pressed her body flush against his. “I woke up wanting you.”

Her sultry voice had him weakening. Needing to taste her, the goodness of her soul, for a second to lose himself in his love for her, Stephan claimed her mouth.

On a moan, she wrapped her arms around his neck, took the kiss deeper.

Lost to her taste, he skimmed his hands along the softness of her skin, over her supple curves until his blood pounded hot. Needing her, he pressed her against the wall, his hands skimming across her flesh.

“Make love to me, Stephan, here, now.”

He stilled. Horrified he'd almost taken her within this chamber that held secrets of such importance, he released her, stepped back. She didna know all that stood between them. “There is much to do before I depart.”

Confusion darkened her eyes. “You sound as if you are leaving soon?”

He'd planned to wait until he'd received a writ from the Bruce. With what he'd just discovered, how could he remain? “My men and I leave within a sennight.”

Katherine's face paled.

“ 'Tis imperative that I find the map of the catacombs,” he stated, willing his mind to forget the silkiness of her skin, her potent taste lingering on his tongue. “Before we leave, all of the cargo within the ships' holds must be hidden. After we break our fast, until I discover the hidden chambers below Avalon, the men and I will begin transferring the goods into the secret tunnel.”

“ 'Tis the middle of the night. More than enough time for us to return to our bed.”

His body tightened. “I must continue the search.”

A seductive smile upon her lips, she walked to him, began pressing kisses over his jaw. “A few hours will make little difference.”

Against his every wish, he caught her shoulders and gently held her away. At this moment he needed to accept the deeds of his father and to somehow find a way to move on—without her. “Nay.”

The smile faded. “I see.”

She didna, nor ever would. 'Twas his shame to bear, nor would he taint her with the knowledge he'd learned this night. In the end, her upset served him best. When he sailed from Avalon and didna return, her hurt would eventually fade to anger. Over time, she would erase him from her mind. But he would never forget her.

“I will inform you once I have found the map,” Stephan said, his voice devoid of the pain churning inside.

“I . . .” She hesitated, took a step back. “As you are remaining awake, I will bring you a tray to break your fast.”

“Return to bed. I will eat when I am hungry.”

She angled her jaw, a gesture of protection he'd seen before.

Turning to the desk, he sat, opened a different ledger, and flipped the pages as if engrossed in his search.

Moments passed.

A sigh.

The tap of her footsteps faded.

Shaken, Stephan closed the unread book and called himself every kind of bastard. He'd hurt her and, God help him, if she learned the truth, he'd hurt her more.

A
fternoon sunlight illuminated the ledger as Katherine turned to the next page. She noted each entry, pleased by the detailed accounts of the running of Avalon since the English had seized the castle. However much she'd despised the Earl of Preswick, his meticulous records ensured a smooth transition in retaking the stronghold.

She turned her attention to the last few lines; the words again blurred. Frustrated, she closed the book, leaned back in her chair, and rubbed her temple.

Since she'd found Stephan in her father's secret chamber that morning, their confrontation and his subsequent withdrawal had left her shaken. Mayhap she fretted for naught? A Knight Templar, his concern in hiding the cargo in a secure place was tantamount. Yet part of her worried more than the urgency of their leaving provoked his brusque manner. Her husband seemed more distant, as if he was pushing her away.

A low throbbing continued in her temple. Why could she nae rid herself of these foolish notions? Hadna Stephan's lovemaking been tender throughout the night? She skimmed her finger along the edge of the page. Instead of searching for disquiet, she should be thankful that although she wed out of duty to preserve her home, she'd found love.

Confident naught but her own doubts created illusionary distance between them, she returned the ledger to the drawer and departed.

Outside the keep, enjoying the warmth of the sunlight, she walked toward the chapel.

Aiden came out of the holy sanctuary. Green eyes warmed as they met hers. “Lady Katherine.”

She nodded. “Is Stephan still working below?”

“Aye.” A frown touched his brow. “I caution you, he is as prickly as a wounded badger.”

Her disquiet returned. “What happened to make him so?”

The knight shrugged. “None of us knows.”

The reason for her husband's withdrawal became clear. “Mayhap his annoyance is because soon he, along with many of his men, will sail away.”

Surprise flickered in Aiden's eyes; his face quickly masked his reaction.

She stilled. “He didna tell you of the impending departure?”

“The decisions of when we are to sail are Stephan's to make.”

But the news had caught this warrior off guard. Loyal to her husband, he wouldna admit otherwise. “Indeed they are.” She started to walk past.

“Lady Katherine . . .” Aiden shook his head. “'Tis naught of importance.” He strode toward the keep.

What had the knight intended to tell her? Unsettled, Katherine entered the chapel, climbed down to the tunnel. Faint echoes of men's voices guided her to where they worked.

Crates from the vessels lay stacked along one side of the tunnel.

'Twould seem Stephan was frustrated that the catacombs' location eluded him, and with his plans to sail imminent, he'd decided to store the cargo here until their return.

Her husband's voice calling out commands echoed down the passage. A moment later he strode into sight, helping to carry a large crate. Hands pressed against a corner, his muscles bunched as he and several knights shoved. It settled against the wall with a thud. “Hold!”

The men stepped away.

“Next we—” Her husband's gaze met hers. “Retrieve the next crate from the ship,” he ordered. “I will be there in a moment.” Expression taut, he strode to her.

She forced a cheerful smile. “You look tired.”

“We
all
are,” Stephan replied, his voice cool.

“You and the men must be hungry. I will have food and water sent below.”

“We need naught.”

She held a burst of anger in check; he was tired, concerned because soon he had to leave. “I understand there is much to do prior to your departure, but you have been pushing yourself and your men since first light.” Ever since she'd found him in her father's secret room...

“There is work to be done. 'Tis my priority.”

Nae her. Though he'd nae spoken the words, his meaning was clear. “You said little this morning of the reason you must leave. Did a runner from King Robert arrive?”

Silence.

Her worry built, the reasons for his hasty departure numerous. “Something has happened, has it nae?”

“The reason for our departure is nae one that I will discuss.”

“'Tis my castle as well,” she said, her anger slipping out, “and as mistress, I will know why.”

“A contingent of men will remain behind to keep Avalon secure from any threat.”

Katherine stepped closer. “You didna tell me why.”

The echo of men's voices neared.

“Aye, I didna.” With a curt nod, Stephan strode past without looking back.

She clenched her fists, wanting to stop him, to demand answers. Neither would she embarrass herself or him before his knights.

For her husband to have such a fierce response, whatever news he'd received must be dire. Still, it didna excuse his brusque manner. If he thought he could push her away after they'd joined in the most intimate of ways, after he'd confessed his love and after she'd shared hers, he was wrong. However upset, Stephan would learn that she would always be there for him; his battles were hers, they'd fight them together.

Candlelight flickered through the chapel as she stepped from the ladder. She knelt before the cross, prayed for strength and patience.

A soft scrape sounded from the entry.

Katherine made the sign of the cross and turned.

Eufemie entered. Warmth shone in the healer's eyes. “Lady Katherine.”

She forced a smile for the woman she considered a friend and stood. “I had planned on visiting later today.”

The elder walked closer, paused. “What is bothering you, child?”

“'Tis naught.”

“Lass, I have known you too many years to be believing that. Come.” Eufemie moved to a pew, patted the empty space at her side. “You have always been able to talk to me; naught has changed.”

“It has; now I am married.”

“Indeed,” the healer said with a smile. “Your husband is a fine man.”

Surprised by her sincerity, she walked closer, settled beside the elder. “I wasna aware you had met him.”

The healer sat back. “We have talked many times.”

Many times? Never had Stephan mentioned they'd spoken. “I admit to being surprised,” Katherine said. “He is a man frugal with his time.”

“And with good reason.”

“What do you mean?”

“He has endured much in his life,” Eufemie said. “More than most.”

“He told you of his past?” she rasped.

“ 'Tis a long story, one I have given my word nae to reveal.”

Hurt, Katherine started to rise.

The elder caught her arm. “Sit, please,” she said, her voice gentle.

“I . . .” She settled on the bench. “St-Stephan has told me naught of his past. How can I nae be upset when he refuses to share such things with his wife yet confides in a stranger?”

Sadness darkened the elder's eyes. “As much as I wish to explain, 'tis his story to tell.”

“It is,” she agreed, temper coating her words. “My husband is wrong to withhold such an important part of his life from me. He has claimed to love me, you would think he wouldna hesitate to share his past.”

Surprise, then joy warmed her friend's face. “He told you that he loves you?”

She hesitated, confused. “Aye.”

The healer placed her hand on Katherine's arm. “I wish I could make you understand what he has had to overcome to admit his feelings for you.”

“Then tell me! I deserve to know.”

“You do, and however much I want to explain, 'tis nae my place.” She paused. “Know this: He has made significant strides in overcoming his past, and I am confident that with time he will share all.”

“He is leaving,” she blurted out, her fear of losing him shoving out the words.

The healer raised a brow. “He has received a missive from King Robert?”

“All Stephan will tell me is that he and his men will depart within a sennight.”

The elder's gaze darkened.

Disquiet ran through Katherine. “What is it?”

“I promised that I wouldna tell you of his past,” Eufemie breathed. “Neither can he allow this to continue.”

“What to continue?” she asked, more confused than ever.

The elder made the sign of the cross. “The answers you seek are within your father's ledger.”

She frowned. “His ledger?”

“Aye.” She gave a heavy sigh. “I already regret telling you, but your husband is wrong to keep his past from you, more so when you love each other.”

Emotion stormed through her. “I am determined to see our marriage succeed.”

The healer gave her arm a gentle squeeze. “And so you shall.”

“Where is it?”

She shook her head. “Sadly, I dinna know where your father kept his private records.”

But she did; in the secret chamber where she'd found Stephan early that morning. “I thank you.” With a quick embrace, Katherine looked at the crucifix hanging on the wall. 'Twould seem her prayers had been answered.

* * *

Exhausted after a long day of moving cargo off the galleys, Stephan knelt at the altar in the chapel, bowed his head, and began to pray. Guilt weighed heavy on his mind, each Our Father far from penance enough for the secret he withheld from Katherine, one that, if known, would destroy the precious bond between them.

Bond.

He grimaced. After his harsh words to her earlier that day, he'd jeopardized even that. As if he had a blasted clue of how to deal with what he had learned. God's blade, 'twas a bloody mess! Shadows flickered across Stephan. He glanced up.

Thomas knelt beside him, bowed his head, and began to pray.

As he whispered the Paternoster, Stephan followed along in silence.

After several repetitions of the Lord's Prayer, his friend made the sign of the cross and then sat on the pew.

Stephan remained kneeling.

“We need to talk.”

At the irritation in his friend's voice, he stiffened. “I am nae finished with my prayers.”

A bell tolled, the harmonic sounds fading against the distant voices of the men in the bailey.

“Does Lady Katherine know we are leaving?” Thomas asked.

“Aye.”

“Does she know our meeting with King Robert is by
your
choice?”

Stephan shot his friend a hard look. “I gave my promise that we would train his men.”

The knight crossed his arms over his chest. “I thought you were happy here.”

Frustrated, he sat back. “ 'Tis a long story.”

“Over the years,” Thomas said, “you have shared your past with me. Things I believe would come as no surprise to your wife.”

“There is something new.”

His friend arched a brow.

In a hushed voice, Stephan explained the ledger and the discovery of his father's guilt.

Thomas's eyes widened. “God in heaven!”

“Now you see why I canna stay.”

“Lady Katherine loves you. I believe if you tell her—”

“If I do, I will lose her!”

“As if by leaving you are keeping her close?”

Bedamned!

Solemn eyes held Stephan's. “Do you love her?”

“Aye,” he replied.

“Then go to her. Explain.”

“'Tis nae so simple,” Stephan said, his words quiet.

“'Tis nae.”

“What of the evidence supporting her father being a Templar?” Stephan grimaced. “How do I accept that as possible?”

“It doesna make sense. 'Tis forbidden to have a wife and child and have remained in the Order. Was there anything else in the ledger that might give a hint of how this came about?”

Stephan rubbed his neck. “I was so upset at learning my father was a traitor, I didna read more. A fact I will remedy now.” He stood.

“I pray you find the answer you seek,” Thomas said.

“An entreaty I share.” For if he didna try, indeed, he would lose his wife.

* * *

Horrified, Katherine stared at the page. Mary have mercy, her father had killed Stephan's family! Tears burned her eyes for the child Stephan had been, for the suffering he'd endured.

When she'd found her husband this morning, he'd been reading this ledger. His withdrawal had naught to do with his feelings toward her, but rather guilt at discovering his father had been a traitor to Scotland.

She ached for Stephan, needed to assure him that she still loved him, wanted him in her life forever. But a man who wrapped himself in his pride, a warrior who fought for what was right—could he move beyond learning of his own father's treachery?

With these few lines, all on which he'd based his entire life had been destroyed. Even if her husband wanted her, before he could allow anyone close, he must accept and move past all he'd learned this day.

If he ever could.

Katherine wanted to help him but doubted he'd accept her offer. Neither was his stubbornness the worst of her worries. With her father having killed his family, how could he ever want her?

A tear rolled down her cheek, then another. Oh God! The words on the page blurred. She closed the ledger, sobbed until nay tears remained.

Empty, exhausted, she forced herself to reopen the journal. If any hope existed to repair their marriage, she needed to discover the full extent of what stood between them. Through sheer will Katherine reread her father's inscription about following the Grand Master's orders, then of his being a Knight Templar.