Forbidden Lessons (23 page)

"You know exactly what." Teresa was getting furious at the three of them, sitting there smugly and trying to brush her off.

"Why don’t you go to Grace Grant with your concerns?" Susie said. Laura had told them about her talk with the housemistress. Grace Grant had clearly made a decision not to act even though she knew that something had happened and Susie doubted Teresa’s tattle-tales would influence her.

"I could go straight to Mrs Grayson." They all knew she wouldn’t. All things said and done, Teresa was a coward.

"If you feel it’s serious enough and you have the evidence to support your accusations, then by all means do so." Susie turned from Teresa to signal that the conversation was over, and their enraged but defeated enemy had no choice but to return to her own affairs.

* * *

"I will miss you," he said.

It was a grey December day with a leaden sky, a horrible day for saying goodbyes.

"Miss Grant knows." Seeing him start in shock, Laura hurried to reassure him. "It’s ok, she isn’t going to say anything. She just made it clear that she knows - I’m not sure how - and gave me some pointed advice about boyfriends and being careful not to ruin my life."

"I hope I’m not ruining your life."

"You have transformed it," she told him.

"For better or worse?"

"Better beyond anything." But she knew that being with him had made things better but harder too. She couldn’t shut the door on what she knew now and what she had experienced. It had set her apart from the others, from her peers.
 

From her parents too, since there was no way she could tell them about him.

They had reached the place where the path ran past the wasteland area. He turned to her.
 

"Be careful next term. They never found that vagrant, did they?"

"There was no vagrant to find."
 

Now he was leaving she figured it was fine to tell him. They both owed Susie so much anyway. She explained about the midnight feast and the close call with Jenkins.

She had been uncertain as to how he might react, but he laughed. "That girl, she’s unbelievable," he said. "I would be worried about her leading you astray, except I’ve already done that."

"I chose, you didn’t lead me," Laura said.
 

There was a lot to be grateful for when it came to Susie. She had extended endless invitations to Laura to come and stay with her, all with facilitating her relationship with Mr Rydell in mind. Laura might even be going to see her in Italy for a week in January.

She looked up at the black boughs of the copper beeches silhouetted against the winter sky. Would it be warmer in Italy? Just a couple of months ago she had sat under these trees with her friends, still warm in the September sun, innocent of everything she knew now.

She looked at him. The angle of his jaw, the dark hair, his strength. She knew that he was what she wanted and she couldn’t ever imagine a time when he wouldn’t be.

"I could probably kiss you here, right in the open air, and get away with it," he said.

For a wild moment Laura wanted him to kiss her, to declare their feelings openly in front of anyone who might be watching. But the thought of Grace Grant held her back. She had offered unprecedented discretion to Laura, even though she must have felt an obligation to report what she suspected. Out of respect to her, Laura could not be public with him.

"It’s enough that I’ve gone for a walk with you, that will raise enough eyebrows," she said.

"Will you get into trouble for it?" He looked concerned.

"No, just some remarks I expect." Laura wasn’t too worried. Susie and Charlotte would deal with Teresa for her.

They were walking the full circuit of the fields, which would eventually bring them back to Michaelmas House. Every step was a step closer to goodbye. At least for now. She wished she could slow time.

"So I’ll see you in Italy then?" he said.

It sounded so far away in distance and in time. He read her thoughts. "It’s only three weeks away."

"It still seems forever though, compared to seeing you every day here."

"Let’s go this way." He took her on a brief diversion around to where the pavilion was, instead of straight back to Michaelmas House.

"This will really get tongues wagging."

"What they don’t see they can’t know," he said, leading he around the back where they were out of eyesight.
 
Laura felt a slight shudder looking at the now-repaired window. "The scene of the crime?" he asked.

"Something like that."

"It’s also where I first touched your hand. And I knew that I wasn’t imagining what was between us."

"And what was that?" she asked, smiling.

His lips answered her. They were warm and firm on hers in the chilly air. She savoured the feel of him, the taste, the intimacy of his tongue entwining with hers. Felt how tall he was as he had to bend down to kiss her as she reached up to meet him. Felt the strength of his arms around her. The power, both physical and emotional, he had over her.

"That I love you," he said, as he broke away. He fingered her necklace, the one had had given her. "And that I hope this will be on a ring one day."

She kissed him again. "I love you too."

Just three weeks. Somehow she would endure it.

* * *

Laura brazened it out when she got back to Michaelmas House. She told anyone who asked that she had been discussing Goethe with Mr Rydell. She at least had a reputation for being good at literature and poetry, so some were convinced and silenced.

Susie beat the remainder into submission by accusing them of having jealous crushes of their own. "My Rydell, you’re my idol!" she chanted at one girl.

Teresa knew what she knew and was all the more enraged that Laura and Susie appeared to be getting away with everything again. But people were already trickling away, more interested in going home and seeing their families again than school gossip. By January it would be long forgotten.

Susie was the first of the four to go, her parents driving up in a grey Bentley. Her mother looked very glamorous from what they could see through the window. "Easy to see where Susie gets it from," Charlotte said.

So the three of them sat together once more.

"It feels like another lifetime, when I think back to the start of this term," Laura said. "I know it’s the longest term but it feels like years have passed."

As devastated as she was by Mr Rydell leaving, she was relieved the intensity of the term was over. They all needed a break.

"I wonder if The Axe will be back next term?" Charlotte asked.

"I don’t think so. I don’t think you could come back after that," Margery said. She had mixed feelings about what Susie had done. All in all it was for the best, but Mrs Ayers’ public breakdown had made her uneasy.

"So it’s off to Italy for you?" Charlotte said to Laura. She herself was looking forward to seeing Julian, there would be a couple of balls around Christmas and she was going to try and find a date for Margery.

"Yes, I can’t wait. Skiing too, if the snows come."
 

And him. Her future. Her soulmate. The man who had taught her more than she could have ever imagined. Lessons she would remember long after Latin verbs and calculus had faded from memory. Forbidden lessons: lessons of desire, lessons of love.

Glossary of terms

Some of the British English terms used in
Forbidden Lessons
may be unfamiliar to non UK readers. This glossary is provided as a guide.

A-levels

Final high school exams, usually only three to four subjects are studied, in the last two years

Common room

Room used for leisure or social activities by pupils

Demerit

Penalty point imposed for a wrongdoing

Dorm

(Dormitory) bedroom for multiple pupils at a boarding school

Exeat

A kind of short school holiday, when boarding pupils are allowed to leave the school overnight

Games

Term used for sport, physical exercise

Gated

Gonfined to school grounds, similar to grounding

Half-term

A short holiday half-way through a school term

House

Schools are often divided into houses, usually for the purposes of residential accommodation

Mufti

Regular clothes, being out of school uniform

Out of bounds

An area on or off school grounds to which access is forbidden

Oxbridge

Oxford + Cambridge, England’s two most elite universities, similar to Ivy League

Prep

(Preparation) a term used for homework, and the time allotted to complete homework

Sixth form

The final two years of school, when one is studying for A-levels

About Noël Cades

Noël Cades is a British writer who currently lives in Sydney, Australia.
 
A fan of romance, mystery and classic children’s novels, Noël’s favourite authors include Evelyn Waugh,
 
Agatha Christie and Tove Jansson.

You can contact Noël at
[email protected]

Noël’s blog is at
http://noelcades.tumblr.com