Forever and a Day (59 page)

Xander watched as Halo walked towards him across the white sand. The sky behind her was a magnificent deep blue without a cloud in the sky. She had to have been in the surf he thought. Her hips were swaying slowly back and forth and he could feel her eyes on him. She was wearing her pink bikini and he could not help but lose his breath at how sexy she looked.

Her hair was down and past her shoulders; it was messy and reminded him of sex hair. As if on cue, he watched as she ran her hand through the soft, golden strands that he knew smelled heavenly. Her eyes focused on his and she bit at her lower lip. She stopped outside the tent and smiled… this smile was one he had not seen before. It looked like it held a promise, a promise just for him. The tip of her tongue slowly moved over her lips. He tried to imagine how soft they would be kissing his lips.

She caught him glancing at her breasts. She raised one blonde eyebrow then reached behind and unfastened her top, as it fell away she covered her breasts from his view with her arm. She glanced down at her obscured breasts then back to him in silence. Kneeling down to him she was less than a foot away, he could smell her perfume mixed with her scent. My God, she smells so sexy he thought as he breathed her in deeply.

She moved slowly closer, her eyes on his. He was distracted from her gorgeous electric blue eyes as she moved her arm away from her breasts and reached out and took his face in her soft warm hands. Her full, perfect breasts with delicious pink nipples, were hard in the hazy sunlight. He felt his manhood pushing through the opening his boxers—she glanced down and smiled. He tried to protest as she pulled his face and lips closer and closer to hers, but no words of ‘stop’ would come from his mouth. Just as her lips were about to touch his, he felt her hand leave his face and trace its way down his chest, down past his flinching abs, down slowly to his manhood…

Halo woke up from Xander’s otherworldly massage to him spooning with her. She opened her eyes and saw it was morning. Something was different… by this time she would always be wrapped around him, not him around her. He must really have been tired she thought. Then as if on cue, she felt his hand slide up from her belly and gently cup her breast in his warm calloused hand. Her breath caught in excitement and she listened closely to his breathing, it was deep and methodical. She sensed a heat radiating at her bum… it was from Xander. She let out a little pleasurable gasp as she realized it was his manhood and he was hard, hot and pressing up against her bum.

“Oh my!” She panted breathily. It felt so good, she couldn’t help but rock her hips ever so slightly back and forth, getting a good feel of him up against her. She brought up her hand and pressed it against his, pushing his hand firmly onto her breast. She then squeezed his fingers, making his hand squeeze her breast. Her breath began coming in short and quick, she started grinding her bum on his hardness then she felt his hardness twitch up against her.
 

“Uh oh!” She muttered. She felt his manhood suddenly get hotter and harder and in a panic she knew it was already too late to move. He was going to cum, “Oh no!” Escaped her lips. Before she could move away, she heard him emit a sexy deep groan and his hot wetness exploded over her bum and up her back. “Oh my!” She moaned excitedly as the sensation set her on fire. She was flustered and was not sure what she should do, so she lay unmoving in his arms thinking he was going to be so upset.

She felt his breathing stop short then his hand on her breast stiffened, his body followed suit and went rigid as a board. She was frozen, unsure of what to do or say as he suddenly jumped up.

“Oh! No, no, no!” She heard him mutter in terror.

She quickly turned to him to explain it was her fault. She saw him look at her with a mix of shame and shock, his mouth worked hard to say something but nothing came out. Before she could say anything, he grabbed a blanket and fled the tent. Jumping up she went after him.

“Xander! Stop! Please!” She yelled as she caught his arm. She tried to turn him towards her but he would not budge, so she moved in front of him to explain but he was looking away with his hand over his face in embarrassment.

“Halo! I—I’m so, so sorry! I—I was dreaming… Oh God, I’m so sorry!” He choked out as he pulled the blanket tighter around himself.

“Xander!” She exclaimed and tried to look at his eyes under his hand, “Its ok! Really!” She wanted to tell him it was her fault, but she could not get him to look at her. “Xander! Look at me, please!”

He kept his face covered and away from her. His guts were in knots at what he did, he cursed himself for not taking care of things… it had been weeks since he had any kind of release. He cleared his throat, “Halo… it’s not ok, not with me.” He shook his head in shame.

“Xander, if you won’t look at me, listen please! I—I could have moved away, I didn’t. I know you don’t want to hear this, but it felt so damn good with you up against me! I look forward…” She said drifting off at her poor choice of words.

“What? What do you mean!” Xander asked and dropped his hand to look at her face.

“Promise me you won’t get mad?” She asked.

Xander backed up a half step, “No!” He said with panic, “This hasn’t happened before, I’d know! Or has it? So what do you mean?” He demanded.

“You… well?” Halo began.

“I what?” He asked in alarm.

“Fine!” She shouted, “Almost every night, even on the raft, when you are asleep you roll over and hold me. And no, this hasn’t happened before.” She watched as he stood there staring at her, she saw the look of dismay flash across his face and she reached out for him.

He moved back, “No! Dammit… Halo, you should have told me! Why wouldn’t you tell me?” He scolded her.

She put her hands on her hips and glared at him, “Because it felt good! I look forward to it every night! I feel safe in your arms for one thing! And stop treating me like a little girl!”

Looking at the sand at his feet, Xander shook his head, “I… my apologies if I offended you, Halo.” He uttered and turned away from her.

Halo saw him begin to walk away and a hot spurt of anger flashed up insider her. She reached out, grabbed his arm, and yelled, “I knew you’d act like a jerk if I told you! I was right! I am fucking sorry, but I absolutely love being held by you!” She could feel her nostrils flaring as she got up close to his face. “Why won’t you look at me? I said it was ok!” She barked.

“I—I… can’t.” Xander replied dejectedly.

“Fucking fine!” She shouted back, “Please excuse me while I go wash you off of me then!” She brusquely brushed past him and stomped off towards the surf muttering to herself.

“Fucking doesn’t like to see me without clothes?” She yelled as she walked to the surf and stripped off her bottoms and top. She stepped into the cool water without a care and began washing off. The chill of the water slowly brought her to her senses, she took several deep breaths as she wrung out her clothes. She began to wonder why she was punishing him. “What’s wrong with me?” She asked aloud and threw her hands up in the air.

She shook her head as if she was trying to clear the fog from her mind. Why am I being like this?

She looked up towards camp and saw him still standing there where she left him. His back was to her, he was looking down at his feet, and his shoulders were slumped. With a sigh she moaned, “Oh hell.”

She quickly walked out of the surf and came up behind him. She saw he was rubbing the back of his neck and shaking his head, “Xander? I’m so sorry. Please don’t turn around, I’m not wearing anything—I don’t want to upset you further.” She watched as he undid his blanket and handed it back to her. She accepted it with a ‘thanks’.

“Uh, you may want to turn it around…” He mumbled.

“Ok, I’m covered.” She came around him and tried to meet his eyes. “You didn’t do anything wrong, it was my fault.” She sighed and looked away, “When I felt you up against me and, um holding me? I—I couldn’t move away, it felt so good… I was turned on.” She looked down at the caked sand on her toes and continued, “I know you don’t want to hear this, but please listen?” She glanced up long enough to see him nod.

“Xander, I know you are spoken for… but I can’t help my feelings for you. I—I…” She sighed, “My feelings for you have gotten deep… very.” She declared quietly and looked up into his green eyes with hope. She watched his eyes close and his lips pressed down hard against each other. He opened them and they looked back at her with sadness in them.

“Halo, I think we need to talk. Might I go wash off first and meet you back at camp?” He asked and watched as her gorgeous face looked down and she nodded. With her head hung low, she turned and began trudging back up to camp.

He felt his heart lurch in his chest at seeing the sadness in her. He knew what she was trying to express to him, but he simply could not let her. He could not let that word escape her lips… it was not real and would be his undoing. He turned and headed down to the surf trying to figure out a way to handle this mess.

As he began washing off, thoughts of what he did would not relent: He had just came all over Halo Raines in his sleep, dreaming about her no less. He absent mindedly slapped his head with his hand, spraying water in his eyes. He shook the water off and wondered if he could ever live it down within himself.

Some resurgent old memories floated up to the surface of his consciousness: Thank God I didn’t try and have sex with her while we were asleep! He remembered doing that to Evie a couple of times after they got married. The first time he woke up in time and she was not at all happy with him. The last time it happened he woke up when he came and she was livid with him for the next week. Halo was understanding at least. That damn dream of her was so vivid…

“What to do with her?” He asked himself as he began his way back up. Here he was with the most beautiful woman on the planet, she wanted him and no matter how much he tried to suppress his feelings for her, he wanted her. “What a mess…”

He made his way back, ducked quickly into the tent, changed into a clean pair of shorts and came out and found Halo was starting a fire. He folded his wet boxers over the tent’s support rope and sat down at the table from the hut and watched her nod at him and sit down opposite of him.

She let out a deep breath, “I see it’s going to be one of those talks…”

She looked disheartened sitting across from him. Part of him began urging him to simply go over, hold her, and tell her his heart. For how good it sounded, he could not let himself. Instead, he began to talk, “Halo, I think I know why you have feelings for me. We talked about it before… but listen?” She played with a leaf that had fallen on the table and nodded.

“It’s going to sound weird, but I think it’s something like the Stockholm syndrome.” He watched her look up at him with a mild expression of shock.

“Xander! C’mon, you are not my captor here!” She smiled.

“Yes, but think about it this way… I helped you and I am trying to keep you happy, healthy and alive here. You are dependent on me. Ok, I doubt that’s the right thing to call it, but I think subconsciously you want to feel things for me to make sure I keep helping you… I just want you to know, if it were you or anyone else I would do everything in my power to keep you or them alive. Even if you hated me, I would do it and never expect anything in return.”

Halo stared at him for a moment, “Um, let me get this straight. You think I have feelings for you because you saved my life and are helping me stay alive here. Serious?” She cocked her head expectantly at him.