Forever and Always (15 page)

A wave of panic gripped him deep inside and suddenly he heard someone shouting, then he quickly realised it was him.

“Melanie” he called at the top of his voice. He watched as she paused for a moment, almost like she heard her name. Then she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them again she looked totally defeated. Then without even glancing up, she walked through her boarding gate and just like that she was gone. He had lost her.

It was four weeks since Melanie had returned home from the States but her mood still hadn’t lifted.

She had spent her first week back in her bed, barely eating and refusing to see or speak to anyone. Katie and Lucy had called around
every day
but Melanie didn’t want to see them. Sarah and Alex were worried sick about her. Alex spent more time in Sarah’s apartment then he did at home. Grace came by with Jamie thinking maybe he might cheer her up but not even Jamie worked.

Finally Alex insisted on calling a doctor to have her checked over
. The doctor prescribed her some
anti-depressants
but Melanie refused to take them.

Finally having enough, Alex stormed into her room, pulled her duvet from her and lifted her from the bed as she cried out, pleading with him to leave her alone. He marched into the bathroom room with her in his arms and stood beneath the shower with her, both of them fully clothed. Melanie screamed and screamed; her protests at first wriggling in his arms, trying to get free. But he just pulled her tighter to him and held her until all her fight was gone and finally she let go and allowed
herself
to cry. She buried her face in his chest and sobbed.

Sarah stood at the doorway and sobbed as she watched Alex hold their broken hearted daughter in his arms. Finally He climbed back out of the shower still holding her in his arms and sat on the toilet seat and let her continue to cry.

Sarah wrapped towels around them both and left them sitting in silence in the bathroom. She called Grace and explained what happened and asked her to bring dry clothes for Alex.

Forty minutes later Melanie and Alex emerged from the bathroom side by side, Melanie had finally stopped crying, Sarah led her to her bedroom and helped her strip out of her wet clothes and into dry ones.

Alex took the clothes Grace had arrived with a short while earlier and went to Sarah’s room to change.

When Melanie was changed she joined the rest of her family in the living room. She barely spoke for the evening but she was no longer curled up in her bed. Alex and Sarah were relieved to see her eat some of the Chinese takeaway they had ordered.

Slowly she started to do some of her normal things. When Lucy and Katie came around they filled her in on everything that had gone on over the summer but she refused to speak about her time at the beach or anything to do with Sam.

Maggie had called to see how she was doing. Maggie said she should ring Sam that they needed to talk but Melanie refused. She wouldn’t listen to Maggie when she tried to tell her what Sam had told her.

It took her almost three weeks to turn her phone back on and when she did there were dozens of messages from Sam and equally the same amount of voice mails. She deleted them all without reading or listening to them.

Choosing to give him a brief text in response to them.

“Please stop trying to contact me!”

And she heard no more from him.

She was due to start back to school for her final year in just over a weeks’ time so she agreed to go and do some shopping with Katie and Lauren. As they shopped the two girls chatted happily but Melanie’s heart just wasn’t in it.

“Melanie this would look amazing on you” Katie said stopping in front of River Island and pressing her head against the window and pointed out a beautiful emerald green dress. “It would be perfect for your 18th birthday party”.

Melanie felt sick. She had totally forgotten about her party. It was just two weeks away. She had told Sam all about it and he said he wouldn’t miss it for the world. Now the thoughts of having a party horrified her. That was the last thing she needed right now.

“I am not having a party” she announced much to the shock of her two best friends.

“But you have been planning it since you were thirteen” Lucy said nervously as she glanced quickly at Katie. 

“Well I have changed my mind” Melanie replied without missing a beat. She didn’t even look at the dress in the River Island window. She kept on walking. Katie and Lucy glanced at each other before walking after Melanie.

When they got back to Melanie’s apartment, Sarah asked them if they wanted to stay for dinner and they both accepted happily.

Melanie excused herself to go and put what she had bought away.

“How is she today girls?” Sarah asked once Melanie was out of earshot. The girls both looked at each other but said nothing. Sarah saw their glance and sat down “What’s wrong?”

“Um...Well Melanie said she has changed her mind about her birthday party” Katie finally said. “She said she isn’t having one”.

“You’re kidding me” Sarah replied, shocked. They didn’t get a chance to say anything further before Melanie returned.

Sarah got up and finished off the dinner and set the table for the four of them. They all took their seats when it was ready.

“So are you looking forward to starting back in school girls” Sarah asked. Both Katie and Lucy replied but Melanie just shrugged her shoulders and didn’t look up from her dinner. Her appetite still wasn’t very good and Sarah noticed that she had lost some weight. Sarah watched her as she pushed her food around the plate not really eating anything.

“Did you see anything nice for the party” Sarah asked and Melanie immediately shot a look that could kill at Katie and Lucy. She knew they had told her what she had said.

“There isn’t going to be a party” Melanie said finally pulling her eyes from her friends and looking at her Mom.

“Why not?”
Sarah asked as she put her fork down.

“Because I don’t want one” Melanie replied and returned her attention back to her dinner.

“But you were so looking forward to it Mel” Sarah pushed.

“Yeah well I changed my mind” Melanie stood up abruptly and lifted her plate from the table. “I suddenly don’t feel very well. If you’ll excuse me I think I will go lay down”. Without another word she scrapped her dinner into the bin, placed her plate into the dish washer and headed to her room.

“If I had my hands on Sam bloody Cooper right now” Katie hissed. “I would kill him”.

“Has she mentioned him at all” Sarah asked.

“She refuses to discuss him” Lucy replied.

“Maggie said she saw him before she and Mark left the beach house” Sarah said in a very low voice. “Maggie says he looks awful too. He has tried and tried to contact her but she won’t accept his calls, won’t return his texts. Maggie said he swears nothing happened between him and that other girl. But Melanie just won’t listen”.

“Do you believe him?” Lucy asked.

“I don’t know what to think to be honest” Sarah confessed. “She won’t talk about him at all. I just think she needs time”.

The following Wednesday, Melanie started back to school, she was grateful for the distraction. Her first day was just a couple of hours long. She was only getting her timetable and signing up for whatever after school activities she wanted to do. Normally she joined most of the after school programmes. But this year she didn’t. She told the teachers that she had decided to used that extra time to study for her Leaving Cert exam. The rest of the week passed by very quickly as Melanie threw
herself
into her school work.

The following Saturday was Melanie’s 18th Birthday. Melanie was woken up by a chorus of Happy Birthday by Sarah, Alex and Grace and of course Jamie.

They all gave her beautiful birthday presents. Sarah bought her a new laptop. Alex and Grace had bought her a white gold watch that had little diamonds in the wrist band. And Jamie gave her a gorgeous pair of diamond studs.

They had tried to convince her to go ahead with the party but when she refused they agreed that everyone would go to Alex’s house for a small family dinner. Of course Katie and Lucy were also invited. Melanie would have preferred to not celebrate at all but she knew that was never going to happen.

That afternoon Melanie and Sarah spent the time having their hair done and then getting a French manicure. Melanie tried to appear happy but inside she wanted to crawl into a ball and be left alone. She had an ache in the pit of her stomach that was matched by the ache in her heart.

When she was in her bedroom getting ready her phone pinged telling her she had received a text message. She
pick
it up to check it and her heart almost stopped when she saw it was from Sam. She stared at the phone for a few minutes deciding whether or not to delete it. She knew she should have just pressed delete but she pressed open instead.

“Happy Birthday Melanie, hope you have a wonder day, Love always, Your Sam xx”.

Melanie thought her heart was going to burst. She missed him so much. She wanted to see him and talk to him and touch him. She wished so hard that she could get him out of her system but she loved him so much it hurt. She read and reread the text. And then without thinking she typed a response.

“I love you too. M x”

Q
uickly she pressed send before she has a chance to change her mind.

Less than a minute later her phone pinged again. She quickly pressed open.

“Please talk to me
Melanie,
I miss you so much it’s killing me”

She thought for a moment. She wanted to talk to him but she didn’t want to be upset going to dinner at her Dad’s. She quickly typed a response.

“Can’t talk now am head out to dinner with my Mom and Dad. Will ring you when I get back”

S
he pressed send and waited for a reply. A few seconds later her phone pinged.

“What happened to your party?”

She cringed when she read this message. She began typing.

“I cancelled it”

S
he pressed send. She had to wait a little longer this time for a response. Finally she heard the ping.

“I’m sorry Mel”

She read his words and her heart broke. She knew why he was sorry. He knew she had cancelled her party because of what happened between them. That she hadn’t been able to face the party she had been planning for the last five years.

“Mel, are you ready to leave?” Sarah called from the hallway.

“Yeah Mom” Melanie called out to her Mom. “I will be right there”.

“My Mom is calling me. I have to go. I will talk to you later x”

She pressed send and waited. Once again she heard the ping.

“I can’t wait. I Love you Melanie O’Leary. Have a great evening. Your Sam x”

Melanie didn’t reply. She shoved her phone under her pillow, deciding against bringing it because she knew she would check it over and over again all through dinner. For the first time in six weeks she didn’t feel quite so lost. Maybe there was hope. She found her Mom waiting in the hallway. 

Sarah smiled at Melanie as she walked down the hallway to where she was waiting. And for the first time in too long, Melanie returned her smile and didn’t have to force it on to her face.

As they drove over in the car she thought about her brief conversation with Sam. She was starting to worry she had made the wrong decision answering him. What if he hurt her again? She knew her heart couldn’t take anymore. She wanted to be positive but she was too afraid. She had a grinding pain in the pit of her stomach now. She wished she didn’t have to face tonight.

“You ok Mel?” Sarah asked as they drove. “You are very quiet this evening”.

“I am fine” Melanie lied and forced a small on her face that didn’t match how she felt inside. She felt unwell and wished she could go home and curl up in her bed. If she was honest she had an ache in the pit of her belly for the past two days but she simply but it down to anxiety at the thoughts of her birthday dinner. She really didn’t feel up to the night at all.

When they arrived at her Dads house for her dinner, Melanie was finding it harder and harder to keep her mask up. The pain in her stomach was getting worse but she tried her best to ignore it. She knew she was just anxious about her impending call with Sam. Part of her dreaded it but part of her couldn’t wait to hear his voice.

Jamie was thrilled to see Melanie. And in truth he was the only one that Melanie seemed to be herself around. Melanie and Sarah arrived while Alex was out running a last minute errand for Grace. When he got home he stopped in his tracks when he saw Melanie. She didn’t look very well he thought. She had lost weight was looking very pale even under the remnants of her sun tan. He glanced at Grace and Grace nodded confirming she had noticed it too.

“Hey Kiddo” Alex said as he lifted Jamie into his arms and sat down next to Melanie. He leaned over and gave her a kiss. “How are things with you?”

“Ok I guess” she shrugged. Before he could quiz her any further Katie and Lucy arrived and Melanie was grateful for the distraction. Grace called them all for dinner so they made their way to the table. Melanie barely touched her dinner and Alex was watching her like a hawk. She seemed to look even paler since he had arrived home. Then he noticed tiny beads of sweat on her forehead.