Forever and Always (4 page)

“I have every right” Alex snapped losing his battle to stay calm. In one fluid movement he was stand next to her “You are my daughter”.

“No I am a stupid mistake you made one night when you fucked your best friend” the words were out before she even realised what she said.

Suddenly without thinking Alex slapped her. Melanie’s hand flew to face where he had struck her. She was completely stunned. In her 17 years neither of her parents had ever hit her. 

“Oh my God Mel” he quickly said.
Pure horror and shame filling his face.
He reached out to touch her but she flinched and backed away from him.  “I am so sorry”.

Without saying another word she turned and ran to her room.

“Melanie” Sarah called after her, shocked by the exchange between Alex and Melanie.

Alex just sank back onto the sofa and buried his face into his hands and sobbed.

Two weeks later Melanie was sitting in the departure lounge waiting to board a plane to head to Boston. She was glad that no one could come with her once she passed through the departure gate. Her Mom had gotten very teary and was making it so much harder for Melanie to leave.

Sarah, Grace, Katie and Lucy had accompanied her to the airport. Melanie insisted she didn’t want Alex to come.

She refused to speak to him since the night in the apartment. She remained locked in the room for the rest of the night.
Even after she heard him leave a couple of hours later.
Sarah came and knocked on her door and pleaded with her to open it. But she never said a word. She just slumped in the corner and cried till she fell asleep.

When she woke up early the next morning on the floor, she felt stiff and sore and dog tired. It was Sunday morning for which she was relieved. The
thoughts of having to go to school and face her end of year exams was
way more than she could have possibly faced. She quietly got dressed and opened her bedroom door. She didn’t want to wake her Mom.

Jethro was asleep outside her door. He glanced up at her and
half-heartedly
waved his tail, probably a little bummed because he usually curled up on the end of her bed to sleep. Leaning down she patted his head. She walked down the hallway closely followed by Jethro. Grabbing his lead she clipped it on to his collar and quietly slipped out the front door.

She walked as far as the local park, which at seven in the morning was deserted. Normally Jethro would run off till he found a stick and would bring it back for her to throw again and again. But today he didn’t. It was like he knew she was sad. So he rested his head protectively on her lap and didn’t move.

An hour later her phone began to ring. It was her Mom. She stared at the phone. She still wasn’t ready to talk. She hit the reject button and turned off the ringer and pushed her phone back into her jacket pocket. She just wanted to be alone.

Finally the hunger pains in her stomach had become too hard to ignore. She realized the only thing she had eaten since Friday evening was her half of the bourbon cream she had shared with her Dad.

The memory made her heart ache. But she was determined she wasn’t going to cry again. She pulled out her phone to check the time.

She saw she had 23 missed calls. There
was
eight from her Mom, 10 from her Dad and there were a couple each from Lucy and Katie. There were none from Mike and she was surprised she wasn’t actually as bothered as she thought she would have been that he hadn’t tried to contact her. She checked the time. It was almost midday.

“Come on Jethro” she said as she stood up from the park bench. “You must be starving too”.  Jethro wagged his tail as if he understood what she was saying.

When she got back to the apartment her Dad’s car was parked outside. “Crap” she thought to herself. She thought for a moment about not going in but she looked down at Jethro and she knew he was hungry. She really didn’t have a choice.

“Oh thank God” Sarah exclaimed, rushing up to her and wrapping her arms tightly around her when she walked into through the apartment door. “I was out of my mind with worry”.

“I am sorry I worried you Mom” Melanie replied feeling guilty for upsetting her Mom like this. She didn’t deserve that.

“You must be starving” Sarah said holding her daughter
arm’s length
. “I will make you something to eat”.

“I’m not really hungry” Melanie replied realized her hunger pain was gone and had been replaced with a knot of grief inside her. “But Jethro is”.

As she moved further into the apartment she spotted Alex standing nervously in the living room and her heart began to race quickly in her chest. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him. She knew she would cry if she did and she didn’t want to cry when she said what she had to say.

“Hi” he said nervous. He wanted to run and hold her in his arms but he knew by her body language that was the last thing she wanted from him. He would need to give her time and space. “Are you ok?”

“I’m fine”. Melanie replied in the tiniest of voices, her eyes never leaving the ground.

“Mel I am so sorry about last night” he said hoarsely, his voice revealing just how upset he really was. A tiny part in Melanie wants to hug her Dad until the pain inside her chest disappeared but the memory of the slap last night was still fresh in her mind. But she knew it wasn’t just the slap. It was the fight they had on Friday night too and the fact they were planning on shipping her off to the States for three months as well. It all hurt.

Sarah returned from the kitchen after feeding Jethro. The three of them stood for a few moments in awkward silence. Melanie was the first one to speak.

“I will go to stay with Aunt Maggie as soon as I am finished my exams” she announced unable to look at either of her parents.

“Melanie if you don’t want to go” Sarah replied surprised by what her daughter said. “You really don’t have to”.

“No I want to” Melanie insisted her trying to sound more determined. “I think you were right that, that maybe I need some time on my own. You know, give me some time to think”. Melanie glanced up briefly at Alex through her eyes lashes. He face was pale and full of shame and hurt. Again her heart tightened and she quickly pulled her eyes away from him.

“Melanie I don’t want you to go” Alex said, his voice almost a sob. But she couldn’t reply to him. She knew she would cry and she didn’t want to. She wanted to be strong and show them she was growing up. “Not like this, can we just talk about it?”

“My exams start tomorrow” she said taking a deep breath, surprising them with the sudden change of gear. “I need to go and study”. And without another word she turned and headed straight for her bedroom.

Alex had tried calling her over and over again she refused to talk to him. He stopped by the apartment but that went no better. She couldn’t believe it when he actually agreed not to go to the airport with her. Instead agreeing to give her the space she needed.

She didn’t hear from Mike again before she left and that hurt a little. But more than feeling hurt, she felt stupid. In her heart she knew her dad had been right. Mike didn’t really love her. He had only really wanted one thing. Then  when Katie text her the night before she was due to go to Boston  to tell her she heard Mike was seeing someone else, a girl he went to collage with. Melanie wasn’t really sure how she should have felt about that. But as she sat in the airport she only knew she was glad she never did get to sleep with Mike. She wanted her first time to be special with someone who truly loved her. She was more upset that she had let Mike come between her and her Dad.

And now as she sat there on her own in the departure area she wanted to see him. She was still mad as hell with him. And she was still very hurt but she loved him and
s
he missed him.

The flight was long and uneventful. She tried to watch the movie they were showing on the plane but she couldn’t concentrate on it. She just kept going over everything that had happened between her and her Dad in her head and the huge knot of grief that was inside her was growing and growing.

She jumped with fright when
one of the cabin crew tipped her softly and asked her to put her seat belt back on as they would be landing soon. She must have dosed off. She clipped her seat belt shut and looked out of the window as the plane sank lower and lower towards Logan Airport.

The first thing Melanie noticed as she stepped off the plane was the heat that hit her as she made her way along the tunnel  that took her from the plane to the airport terminal. The weather had been very cool before she left Dublin and she had put on jeans. But now she was thinking she was going to regret that decision.

By the time she had gone and gotten her case from Baggage Claim and she made her way to the Arrivals hall she was overheating and felt like she was going to pass out.

She had only barely stepped through the door when she heard Maggie scream her name from the far side of the Arrivals Hall. Before she knew it, Maggie almost knocked her over, grabbing her into a big bear hug.

“Oh My God” Maggie exclaimed holding her at arm’s length and looking her up and down. “Look at you! You have gotten so grownup and if it’s possible you have gotten even
more prettier
too”

“Hi Maggie” Melanie replied with a giggle. Melanie loved Maggie. She was so much fun to be with. Her Mom loved to tell her stories about when they were both kids. Maggie was the wild one that everyone expected to get into all sorts of trouble. So everyone had been shocked when Sarah had been the one that had ended up pregnant at 18 and not her. Maggie was a successful author and travelled the world. Melanie often wondered if her Mom’s life would have turned out like Maggie’s if she hadn’t got pregnant.  She quickly pushed that familiar thought from her mind.

“Hey” Maggie said, noticing the look of sadness filter across Melanie’s face. “What up Kiddo?”

“I am just tired from the flight” she lied and forced herself to smile.

They drove into the city to Maggie’s apartment in companionable silence. Melanie stared out the window and took in the sights and sounds of the city. She had loved Boston the last time she was here but this time her heart just wasn’t in it.

“You ok sweetie?” Maggie asked as they made their way through the crowded street.  “You are awfully quiet”.

“Yeah” Melanie said with a smile. “I am just tired”. She knew her Mom would have filled Maggie in on everything that had happened. She probably knew about her fight with her Dad. She loved Maggie but she didn’t really want to discuss what happened with her Dad with her. She didn’t want to discuss it, period.

“Well we can order some take out” Maggie said as she indicated and pulled into the underground car park of her building. “Then you can call it a night if you want to”.

“I probably should unpack before I go to bed” Melanie replied.

“No don’t unpack” Maggie said with a big grin as she pulled into her parking spot. “I have a surprise for you”

“Oh”.

“My editor is going to travel around Europe for 4 months” Maggie said turning to Melanie, her excitement almost tangible. “He has a beach house on Cape Cod and he said we could use it if we wanted it”.

“Wow” Melanie replied feeding off Maggie’s excitement.

“So we are heading up there in the morning” Maggie said. “And we can spend the next three months working on our tans and chasing boys. Well you can chase boys; I am looking for a man”.

Melanie burst out laughing. It was the first time she had laughed properly in over 2 weeks. She loved Maggie so much. She always knew how to make her smile.

“Don’t you need to work?” Melanie asked when the thought crossed her mind.

“I can bring my laptop with me” Maggie explained. “That’s the beauty of being a writer, you can write anywhere”.

That evening, after she had called her Mom to let her know she had arrived safely, they ordered a pizza and curled up on the sofa to watch a movie. However Melanie only saw the first twenty minutes or so before she fell asleep curled up on the end of the sofa. She vaguely remembered climbing into bed when Maggie woke her at the end of the movie.

The sun filled her room with a bright warm haze when she blinked her eyes open the next morning. For a moment she felt a little dazed and confused by her surroundings until she
remembered  where
she was. She picked up her phone off her nightstand to check the time. It was just after eight. There were 2 missed calls from her Dad and a text message. She hit the open button.

“Hope u r ok, love u,
call me”

Melanie sighed and pressed reply on the phone. She skimmed over the key pad trying to think if what to say. But her mind was blank. She just didn’t know what to say. He was her Dad but suddenly they were like strangers. How had this happened?

She hit the button to close her messages and threw her phone back onto the night stand. Stumbling out of bed she made her way to the kitchen where she found Maggie drinking a coffee and eating a doughnut, staring intently at her laptop.

“Morning Mel” she said quickly closing her laptop when she spotted Melanie walking into the kitchen. Mel knew straight away Maggie must have been online chatting to either her Mom or her Dad. She frowned at the idea of them all whispering behind her back. “How did you sleep?”