Forever and Always (25 page)

“He ruined your life” Lucy cried in frustration. “And he is going to break your heart again. And we will have to pick up the pieces all over again”.

“Jesus Lucy, say how you really feel” Melanie snapped back angrily. “I have never asked any of you for anything. But you were all there suffocating me every step of the way.
Waiting for the next big screw up.
And now I should feel grateful that you pitied me enough to stick around. Well please don’t feel obliged to hang around this time for the fall out when I apparently fuck up my life again. I think I can manage just fine on my own”.

“Mel you are taking it the wrong way as usual” Lucy shouted back. “Just like you did with your Dad back then and just like you did with Sam at the beach. Just like you always do. You push people away and you don’t care that you are hurting them when you do”.

“Fuck you Lucy” Melanie replied to her friend with such anger that even Melanie was surprised. Lucy’s words had hurt but Melanie knew she was right. She had let things get out of hand with her Dad back them and although they had managed to sort through it, their relationship was never really the same.

What if it was the same with Sam? Could they really get back what they had back then?
Probably not.
And he wanted the one thing she couldn’t give him. She couldn’t give him a child. Suddenly a sobbed escaped from her and she slumped down onto the sofa and buried her face in her hands “I am so sorry that I am such a huge disappointment to you all. I don’t know why any of you bother”.

Lucy was about to reply when she saw Sam appear at Melanie’s bedroom door. He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt but his feet were bare and his hair was a disaster but Lucy could see why Melanie was so crazy about him

He didn’t say a word, he just moved quickly across the living room and dropped to his knees in front of Melanie and tilted her head with one hand so she was looking at him. His other hand brushed a loose strand of hair from her eyes and he kissed her softly on her tear stained face.

“Melanie O’Leary, you could never disappoint me” he said staring straight into her eyes. “You are the kindest, sweetest person I know. I love you so much sometimes it scares me. You are all I have ever wanted. No one ever even came close”.

Lucy stood glued to the spot. This was possibly one of the tender moments she had ever witnessed.

“Sam she is right” Melanie sobbed. “I am a disaster. You should run far away from me because I know I am going to screw up and I can’t bear that I might hurt you again. I don’t know if I can ever make you happy”.

“I am going nowhere” he replied and kissed her softly on the lips. Then he turned at looked at Lucy. “I know you don’t like me very much and probably with good cause, but I swear to you I never meant to hurt her and I promise I will never hurt her again. Please give me a chance”.

“I don’t dislike you Sam” Lucy sighed “In fact I think you are probably a really nice guy. But you have no idea what she has been through and I am scared that she is throwing away a chance of a happy future with Simon to chase after some childhood fantasy”.

“Maybe you’re right” he replied. “And maybe I should walk away. God knows I have tried to forget her. But Lucy I am a selfish man and I can’t imagine loving someone even half as much as I love Melanie. I wish I could be strong enough to walk away if it meant she was happy. But I can’t”.

Lucy stared at Melanie and Sam and she knew in her heart they were right for each other. She sighed loudly and flopped down on the sofa next to Melanie. She reached for Melanie hand and squeezed it tightly.

“Ok” she said and smiled. “How are we gonna do this?”

“We?”
Melanie asked.

“Yeah” Lucy replied. “Call me an old romantic but I would kind of like to see you two get your happy ever after. I think you both deserve it”.

Melanie threw her arms around Lucy and hugged her tightly. Sam could feel himself relax. At least they had one person on their side.

“I’ll make some coffee” he said standing up and kissing Melanie lightly on the forehead before leaving the girls alone.

“Thanks Lucy” Melanie cried, feeling a mixture of relief and gratitude for her friend. “That really means a lot”.

“What are best friends for” Lucy said with a smile but then her smile faded. “Katie is not going to be so thrilled though. And you know your Mom is going to go postal”.

“I know” Melanie replied. “What are you going to tell James?”

“I am going to tell him to tell Simon that you are fine, which you are” Lucy said and sighed deeply. “And I am going to tell him to enjoy himself and that he will see you when he gets home”.

“Good” Melanie nodded her approval. “He will be really late on Monday so I probably won’t see him till Tuesday”.

“Do you want me to go with you to tell your Mom and Dad” Lucy asked as Sam returned from the kitchen with three cups of coffee.

“No I think it’s something that I should really do myself” Melanie replied and she reached for her cup of coffee and looked at it for a moment. “You know what. I really do hate coffee”.

“Finally” Sam said as he quickly stood up and disappeared into the kitchen and returned with a large glass of milk and handed it to Melanie. “I knew the girl I feel in love with was still in there somewhere”.

“Well I hope if she is” Melanie sighed. “She is a lot stronger than she used to be because I don’t know how I am going to face Simon”.

Two hours later Melanie was sitting alone at her kitchen table playing bejewelled on her Facebook page. She had switched on her laptop to check her email and make a list of everyone she was going to need to notify that the wedding wouldn’t be going ahead.

Sam and Lucy had left about forty minutes earlier. Lucy had to go pick up Calum and Sam went home to get a change of clothes. He told her he would be straight back.

She had started making the list when she realised just how big the fallout of her actions were going to be. She found the task just too huge to contemplate and she buried her face in her arms on the table. Finally when she sat back up she logged into Facebook and began playing the game without even thinking. Her dad would tell her not to procrastinate and get the job done if he saw she was playing the game. He hated Facebook and Melanie always teased him that he was beginning to sound like an old fart.

The thought of her Dad made her stomach flip. How was she going to tell him about Sam? She knew he would understand and would want her to do what made her happy and Sam made her happy. But he had spent so much money already on the wedding it made her feel so guilty.

Simon had wanted to pay for the wedding himself but Alex had insisted that Melanie was his only daughter and he was paying for the wedding and there would be no argument about it.

Melanie sighed as she closed down her laptop with a bang and pushed it away from her. She decided she was going to jump in the shower before Sam got back but before she even reached the bedroom her phone started to ring. She walked back to the sideboard where she had it plugged in charging. She picked it up quickly and answered it before whoever it was hung up.

“Hello” she said distractedly as she pulled the charger wire from the bottom of the phone and bent down to disconnect the plug from the wall.

“Mel” Simon said the anxiety clear in his voice.

“Simon” Melanie replied and held her breath, her heart beat pulsing loudly in her ears. “I thought you would be on the golf course by now”. She didn’t know what else to say.

“I didn’t make it to the golf course” he replied sounding almost embarrassed. “I had a little too much to drink last night and so I spent most of the morning with my head over a toilet”.

“Aw no” Melanie said, the guilt bubbling up inside her rapidly. She knew he drank too much because he was upset about her. And the worst part was his fears weren’t unfounded. But that wasn’t something she was about to admit over a phone while he was hundreds of miles away. She owed it to him to say what she needed to his face. Over the phone was the coward’s way out. “Are you ok now?”

“I have felt better” he sighed. “I just wish I was there with you right now. You always know how to make me feel better”.

“You’ll be home soon” was all she could manage to say in response as once again the tears pooled in her eyes and she closed them quickly and tried to concentrate on her breathing. She didn’t want him to know she was upset again.

“Melanie you know how much I love you don’t you” Simon said, his voice completely sincere. “You mean the world to me”.

“I love you too Simon” she replied and it wasn’t a lie. She loved him very much indeed but she wasn’t in love with him. And she realised she never was in love with him. At least not the way she loved Sam. She wished she did love Simon like that. She knew he would have done anything to make her happy. He accepted her for who she was now. It scared her that she didn’t know how Sam was going to react to what she had to tell him. She knew how much he wanted a family and that was something she simply couldn’t give him.

And if she was honest the thing that scared her most was she was afraid he would still stand by her out of a misplaced feeling of guilt and then in the end he would be miserable and would resent her for the rest of their lives.

“Mel, are you ok sweetheart?” Simon asked softly. “You seem very down. You have me so worried”.

“I am fine Simon, honestly” she replied. “I just still feel a little under the weather”.

“I will be back late tomorrow night” Simon said nervously. “Maybe I could drop in on the way from the airport”.

“But won’t you get in awfully late” Melanie replied panicking, she knew she had to face him sooner rather than later. But a showdown at God knows what time he would reach her apartment at was not how she planned it. She needed to think quickly. “Besides Lucy suggested I stayed over at her place tomorrow night. We have to go for a dress fitting Tuesday morning early. I could drop by your place after that”.

“Oh, Ok” he replied and Melanie could clearly hear the disappointment in his voice. “Well I should really get going. I told the guys I would meet them soon”.

“Have a great night Simon” Melanie said as the tears that had been dancing in her eyes finally broke free. “Love you”.

“I love you Mel” Simon said trying but failing miserable to sound more upbeat than he actually felt. “See you soon, ok”.

“Ok” Melanie whispered. “Bye”.

As she hung up the phone she sunk down on to the sofa and began to cry. She was going to break his heart and she felt so ashamed of herself.

Her buzzer sounded and Melanie knew straight away she knew it was Sam. She quickly wiped her eyes and pressed the button to unlock the front door and took the latch of her apartment door. Two minutes later he walked into the apartment his jacket slung casually over his shoulder smiling bright but he stopped dead when he saw Melanie had been crying. She hesitated for a moment but then quickly rushed to him as he dropped his jacket to the ground and allowed him to pull her into his arms and the tears began to flow again.

“Please don’t cry Melanie” he whispered softly as he pressed his lips against her neck. “Everything is going to be fine. I promise. I will look after everything”.

Melanie buried her face in his chest and cried. Memories of how she would cry about her father back at the Cape and Sam holding her close quickly filled her head and she felt safe. Sam had always known how to make her feel better.
In fact just being in his arms, breathing in his gorgeous scent instantly made her relax.

Suddenly her heart break faded and her body became alive from Sam’s touch. She pulled back from his embrace ever so slightly and turned her face up towards his, their eyes locking with one another’s. Sam’s lips immediately found hers.

Desire exploded inside her and she returned his kiss hungrily. She slid her hands up till her fingers found his hair and she grabbed it pulling his mouth closer to hers, kissing him deeper.

Her kissed lit the fire inside Sam. Before Melanie had time to think he had
her
pinned against the wall beside the door. He dropped his hands down to her behind and gripped it firmly pulling her closer to him.

“Oh God Melanie, I want you so badly” he groaned into her mouth. She could feel how much he wanted her as he pressed his erection against her making her moan with desire. He released her behind and slipped his hand inside her leggings. Quickly his eyes snapped up to meet hers. “You aren’t wearing underwear” he gasped.

His mouth covered hers once again as he slid his finger over her pubic hair until his fingers found their goal. He softly stroked her making her cry out with pleasure. Then he slid his fingers back further and gently slipped one inside her feeling how ready she was for him.

“Oh Sam...Please “she cried and the pleasure was already building up inside her. Abruptly he pulled his fingers from inside her and out of her leggings leaving her feeling empty and longing for him.

He dropped to his knees in front of her and grabbed the rim of her legging. Slowly he eased them down her legs, kissing her from hip to hip as he undressed her.

Standing back up in front of her, his lips met her hers once again. She quickly grabbed for the button on his jeans and pulled his trousers open and then slipped her hands inside them and pushed them down enough to free his erection.