Forever Black (29 page)

“Oh
ok, tell Cassidy I said hi and give Camden a big hug for me.”

“I
will Elle, thanks for calling.”

“Sure
no problem, I’ll talk to you soon, bye Connor.”

“Bye
Elle.”

I
held the phone to my chest, closed my eyes and took in a deep breath.

A
couple of days went by and I didn’t hear from Connor, so I took it as my cue
that we were over. I figured since I made the first move he would contact me
again. He obviously moved on so maybe I needed to try to do the same. Drinking
had become a daily routine for me lately, downing a bottle wine every night
before bed helped me sleep.

I
walked to the local store where I took my VHS tape that my mother put in the safe
deposit box and had it converted to a DVD. The minute I got home, I put it in
my DVD player and sat on the couch. My eyes filled with tears when she appeared
on the screen. She was more beautiful than I remembered her. Her long blonde
hair was like mine and we shared the same eyes. No wonder why my dad drank so
much, I was the spitting image of my mother and he was reminded of her every
time he looked at me.

“Happy
18
^th
birthday angel. I’m sorry I can’t be there with you physically,
but I am with you spiritually. You’re all grown up now and you’ll be heading
off to college soon. Make sure you go somewhere you can stay on campus because
I want you to have the full college experience like I did. I wish I could have
watched you grow up, but God had other plans for me. Once college is finished
you’ll get a fantastic job, meet a wonderful man, get married and have children
of your own. Please follow my advice and do it exactly in the order. I know
being raised without a mom was tough on you Ellery, but I know you’re a strong
woman and you can handle anything that is thrown your way. You deserve only the
best my sweet girl and don’t you ever forget it. I will be with you and guide
you through the rest of your life. Remember, there’s nothing more beautiful and
peaceful than the sunset setting over the blue ocean waters. Live your life in
peace baby girl and remember I will always love you.”

I
sobbed as I watched her say goodbye. If there was a time I ever needed Connor
it was right now. I picked up my phone and dialed his number; I just needed to
hear his voice. He didn’t answer and this time I didn’t leave a message.

I
called Mason and asked him if he and Landon wanted to go to a club. I desperately
needed to get out of this damn apartment and forget about my life for a night.
Mason loved the idea, but said it would only be the two of us because Landon
wasn’t feeling well. I put on my short black skirt, a black and white color
block halter top which showed off my cleavage and my high black boots. I curled
my hair and put on more makeup than I usually wear. I wanted to look and feel
sexy, even if it was for just one night.

Mason
whistled as I opened the door, “Look at you sexy kitten.”

I
smiled and twirled around, “You like?”

“Like?
I love and you may just totally turn gay men straight.”

I
smacked him on the arm, grabbed my purse and left for the club. We were in the
cab and my phone started to ring, it was Connor. I didn’t answer; I wasn’t
going to think about him tonight.

We
walked into the club and I pulled Mason straight to the bar. “Line up 4 tequila
shots with lime,” I shouted to the bartender. He lined up 4 shot glasses, each
with a lime in front of them and some salt. I licked the salt, downed the shot
and sucked the lime. “Hey yeah” I yelled.

“Your
turn,” I yelled at Mason. We both did 2 shots each and then hit the dance
floor. It was packed and there was a lot of bumping and grinding going on. I
danced like I never had before. Tonight was about me and having some fun, for
the first time in a long time. After dancing for a while, we headed back to the
bar, “Line em up, this time 8 tequila shots,” I said. Mason was all for it as
we slammed them down together, I slammed six, he could only do two. The room
was starting to spin but I was feeling good. The floor was thumping beneath our
feet as I dragged Mason back to the dance floor. I was enjoying the music as we
were moving back and forth against each other when I felt someone grinding up
against my body. I turned around to this sexy looking man who was trying to
talk to me.

“Hey,
I’m Chris and you are one beautiful woman.”

I
smiled as I danced with him, swaying my hips from side to side as he grabbed my
waist. He turned me around so my ass was up against his erection. I wasn’t
paying attention as I was too drunk to care. I was watching Mason a few feet
away from me dancing with some random girl when I felt his hands take a tighter
grab on my hips. I moved my hands up and down his arms taking in his muscular
form as I moved my body up and down his. I turned around and came to a complete
stand still when it was no longer Chris at my side, it was Connor. His eyes
were enraged as he looked at me.

“Let’s
go now,” he ordered. My heart started racing and I started to sweat. What the
hell was he doing here and why?

“What
the fuck are you doing here Connor?”

“Why
don’t you tell me that Ellery?” His voice was angry.

“I’m
having fun.”

“You
look like a total slut on this dance floor and thank god I was here or who
knows what that asshole would have done to you.”

I
jerked my arm out of his grip and headed towards the bar. I held 2 fingers up
to the bartender as he put two shots of tequila in front of me. Connor weaved
in and out of the crowd coming after me. I downed one shot and picked up the
next glass as Connor grabbed it from my hand, “You’re drunk and we’re leaving,
let’s go.” He threw some money on the bar and grabbed my hand pulling me out of
the bar with Mason following behind.

“Let
go of me Connor Black,” I screamed as I tried to get out from his grip. I was
resisting so much that he picked me up and carried me to the cab, kicking and
screaming all the way.

“Ellery,
knock it off or so help me.”

“So
help you what Connor,” I yelled as he put me in the cab as he climbed next to
me. I looked at him as he stared straight ahead.

“You
have no right,” I said.

His
angry eyes turned to me, “I have no right? What the fuck do you think you were
doing in there, trying to get yourself raped? Look at you and the way you’re
dressed, you’re just asking for it.”

I
started hitting his chest, “Fuck you Connor.”

Mason
grabbed my arms as Connor grabbed ahold of my wrists trying to calm me down.
The cab pulled up to the apartment building. Connor and Mason got out as I sat
there with my arms folded.

“Get
out of the cab now!” he yelled. I glared at him and then flipped him off.

“Real
mature Ellery,” he said as he leaned in the cab and dragged me out of it. He
threw me over his shoulder and carried me straight to the bedroom and threw me
on the bed. I watched him pace back and forth across the room running his hands
through his perfectly tousled hair.

“I
can’t believe you. I came here tonight to surprise you and I find you dry
humping some guy in a club, drunk off your ass. What the fuck were you
thinking?”

I
sat up on the bed, “I was having fun instead of being cooped up in this
apartment crying over you every fucking day.”

He
stopped and looked at me, “Do you think this has been easy for me?”

I
put my hand over my mouth and ran to the bathroom. I leaned over the toilet as
the alcohol made its way up my throat. Connor walked up behind me and held my
hair back with one hand while he rubbed my back with the other. He got me a
warm cloth and wiped my mouth as he helped me up off the floor.

“Let’s
get you in your pajamas and into bed, you have your injections tomorrow.” He
took my nightshirt out of my drawer and I grabbed it out of his hands.

“Let
me help you,” he calmly said.

“I
don’t need your help, I can do it myself.” I undressed as he watched me. I
slipped on my nightshirt and climbed into bed. He left the room and I heard the
TV turn on. He slept on the couch.

The
next morning, I stumbled out of bed and walked towards the kitchen. Connor was
standing there, leaning up against the counter waiting for the coffee to brew
looking as sexy as ever.

“Good
morning, you look like shit.”

I
frowned as my head was pounding. “Yeah well we all can’t look as perfect as
you.”

He
grinned as he handed me a cup of coffee. “Do I get a hug,” he asked as he held
his arms out.

I
walked past him, “Sluts don’t give hugs.”

He
rolled his eyes and sat at the table while I went into the bedroom to get
dressed.

We
arrived at the hospital in silence. I walked a few feet ahead of him and heard
him say, “I don’t understand why you’re so mad.”

“You
called me a slut Connor.”

“I
said you looked like a slut Elle.”

I
shook my head, “Same thing you idiot.”

We
reached the office and the nurse took us promptly to the room. I changed into
the thin gown and sat on the bed waiting for Dr. Murphy.

“Are
you even going to look at me?” he asked.

“I
am so mad at you Connor Black I could scream.”

He
walked over to me and tried to take my hand, I pulled away. “If you think I’m
going to apologize, I’m not. What you did last night was unacceptable and
immature.”

I
looked straight into his eyes, “At least I didn’t take him home and fuck him
like you do.”

He
turned away, “Why did I even bother coming here.”

“I
don’t know Connor, why the fuck did you?”

Dr.
Murphy walked in and looked at us. She could feel the tension in the room.
“Hello Ellery, Mr. Black,” she smiled.

We
said hello as she flipped through my chart. She walked over and put her hand on
my knee, “Are you ready for this?”

I
looked at her with sadness in my eyes, “Let’s just get it over with.”

I
laid down on my side and Connor sat on the edge of the bed facing me. I pointed
to the chair, “You, over there.” He sighed and shook his head as he sat in the
chair.

“Ok
Ellery, here’s the first injection.”

The
prick of my skin was the easy part. My body started to burn from the inside. I
clenched the sheet of the bed with my fists as my knuckles turned white. I
wouldn’t look at Connor even though I wanted him to hold me. I was stubborn and
I wanted to do this on my own. As soon as the second injection pierced my skin,
I let out a cry of pain as my body felt like a raging fire that couldn’t be
extinguished. Fuck it, I needed him. I held out my hand and looked at him as he
was by my side in an instant. I clutched his shirt as hard as I could as he
wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead.

“You
are the most stubborn person I’ve ever met.”

 I
cried into his chest as Dr. Murphy injected me with the last injection. She
patted my arm and walked out the door.

I
walked into the apartment and laid on the couch.

“Are
you going to be comfortable there?”

I
didn’t say anything; I was still mad at him, but I wasn’t sure at this point
why. He knelt down in front of me, his piercing green eyes looking into mine.

 “Would
it be ok if I gave you a kiss? I’ve really missed those lips.”

In
all honesty, who could resist him, but I’ll be damned if I didn’t try. I
clamped my mouth shut and he laughed. He ran his finger softly over my mouth
and up my cheek. He leaned into me and softly brushed his lips against my
mouth. It didn’t take long before I gave in and my lips joined his. I parted my
lips so his tongue had access to my whole mouth. The kiss was light and soft.
He broke our kiss and looked at me. He didn’t say anything at first, he just
stared at me.

“I’ve
never loved anyone like I love you and no matter what we’ve been through or are
going to go through, that will never change.”

Tears
started to swell in my eyes as I cupped his face in my hands, “I love you to
and I’m sorry again.”

“I
think we are going to spend our lives apologizing to each other,” he laughed.

I
sat up letting him sit next to me. He pulled me onto him so my head was resting
in his lap. He gently stroked my hair as I fell asleep.

We
spent the next couple of days in bed catching up on sex. “Christmas is next
week and I’m taking you to get a tree.”

I
looked at him and pouted, “You mean we have to leave this bed?”

Connor
smiled, “We do, but I promise we won’t leave it for too long.” He took my hand
and led me into the shower.

We
spent the day picking out the perfect Christmas tree. Connor made arrangements
to have it delivered while we bought the lights and ornaments. We decorated the
tree as we sipped wine and ate Chinese food. We made love by the tree with the
lights brightly cascaded down around us and laid on the floor wrapped in a
blanket.