Forever Black (25 page)

Easy
for him to say; he’s not the one getting off in a public place, and it’s not so
easy to keep quiet when Connor Black is bringing you to the edge of an orgasm.
I tightened my hand around the back of his neck, digging my fingers into his
delicate skin, my mouth was on his neck lightly nipping at it with my teeth; he
started to groan. Game on, it was payback time.

My
body reached the point of no return as I squeezed my eyes shut and buried my
mouth deep into his neck and released over his fingers. I nipped on his ear
lope which sent him over the edge. As soon as he was sure my orgasm was over he
grabbed my hand and slid out of the seat.

“What
are you doing? Where are we going?” I laughed as my legs were shaking
uncontrollably.

 He
led me down a narrow hallway and opened a door that led to a closet. He led me inside
and then closed the door. The room was dark and the only light that I could see
was the light coming from underneath the door.  He lifted up my skirt and
pulled down my panties. I reached for his pants as he already had them half way
down. My back was pushed against the door as he went down and joyfully licked
my aching area. I ran my hands through his hair as he kept going around with
his tongue, licking and sucking, making it unbearable to control myself. He
stopped and inserted himself inside me as he positioned his hands on each side
of me against the door and quickly moved in and out of me till he released and
filled my insides full of his come.

“Happy
birthday baby,” he panted in my ear.

“You
have control issues,” I whispered as I caught my breath. I heard him chuckle.

“You’re
the one who took me into the lighthouse, now I’m returning the favor.”

“In
a closet Connor?” I laughed.

“Hey
anywhere we can get it right?”

I
carefully opened the door as he looked out to make sure no one was coming. We
left the closet and casually walked down the hallway as if nothing happened. We
walked back to the table where Mason and Landon were seated.

They
looked at us as Landon started to speak, “Where did you guys” and then was
interrupted by Mason yelling, “OMG, they have sex hair, they just had sex
somewhere.” I didn’t say anything, but the smile on both mine and Connors face
answered their question.

Mason
and Landon asked if we were ready to leave because they had a birthday cake
waiting at home for me. I smiled as Connor motioned for the waitress to stop
over and give him the bill. I excused myself to the bathroom to fix my hair and
makeup. I was walking back to the table and noticed the waitress was there
bending over with her cleavage in Connors face. I could see his eyes fixated me
and the panic in them as he was wondering what I was thinking. I walked up to
the table and tapped the waitress on the shoulder.

“Excuse
me, what the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

She
turned around and looked at me. “Listen bitch, if you’re doing all three of
them then there’s no harm in letting me have a taste of this juicy one,” she
smiled at Connor.

The
look on his face was sheer panic as he wouldn’t take his eyes off me. “Who are
you calling a bitch?” I yelled at her.

Connor
stepped out of the booth and put his arm around me. “Let’s go Elle.” He quickly
led me out of the bar as Mason and Landon were laughing. “Oh my god Elle, have
you retracted your claws yet?” Mason laughed.

Connor
kissed me on the side of my head, “I can’t take you anywhere.”

I
looked sternly at him, “It’s not me; it’s you and these damn women you
attract.” He laughed as he picked me up and carried me to the car.

Connor

Celebrating
her birthday with her was the best day of my life, except for the day I found
her standing in my kitchen. I walked into the room with a 12 inch round cake,
beautifully lit up with 24 burning candles. I set it in front of her and
watched her smile as she closed her eyes, made a wish and blew them out. The
sweetness and the innocence of her swept me off my feet and left me with a
feeling I never knew I was capable of. Her smile, her laughter and the way she
played with her hair when she was nervous, were some of the things I loved most
about her.

I
handed her the knife to cut the first piece of cake as she took it from my hand
with her delicate fingers. I stood there and stared at her as she cut each
piece with finesse. She looked at me with her ice blue eye; eyes that were mesmerizing
and full of life.

“What
are you thinking about?” she asked.

A
smile fell upon my face as I answered, “How much I love you.” The words I was
never able to say before now flowed freely from my lips as easy as loving her
did. She leaned over and put a dab of icing on the tip of my nose and laughed.
She wiped it off and held her finger to my mouth as I took it inside and licked
it slowly. I saw the fire in her eyes like I do every time she looks at me.

I
can’t extinguish the fear that resides in my heart with her illness. I don’t
want to believe that she won’t get better, but there’s a tiny part of me that
is scared shitless that she won’t. I put on a brave front for her because she
needs me. She needs me to be her rock and I can’t and won’t let her down.

I
lay there in bed, checking my emails while waiting for her to come out of the
bathroom. She opens the door and walks into the bedroom while brushing her
teeth, frantically looking for something. “What’s wrong baby?” I asked. She
mumbled something; I couldn’t understand her between the toothbrush and the
foam. She held up her free hand against her ear.

 “Your
phone?”

She
shook her head. I smiled as I pulled it from between the sheets. She smiled at
me and gave me thumbs up as she went back into the bathroom and spit in the
sink.

“Thanks
baby,” she yelled. She walked towards the bed and looked at her phone checking
her messages before she pulled back the covers and climbed in. She snuggled
into my chest as I put my arm around her. This was right, too right, as she
softly kissed my chest and slowly drifted to sleep.

I
chewed my bottom lip as we walked through the doors of Sinai Grace Hospital. I
tightened the grip on Connors hand.

“It’s
going to be ok Elle, I’m here with you,” he sympathetically said.

“I
know, I’m just a little nervous,” I pouted.

He
put his arm around me and pulled me into him giving me the only safety I’ve
known. We stepped into the waiting room of Dr. Murphy’s office as the leggy
blonde receptionist told us to take a seat. Not too long after, the leggy
blonde called my name and took us back to a small room. She handed me gown and
told me to change into it as she was eyeing my boyfriend up and down, giving
him suggestive looks. He turned away so not to face her while looking down at
my hands wondering if I’m going to get up and bitch slap her. She saw the look
on my face and exited the room quickly.

Dr.
Murphy walked in with 3 large needles on a silver tray. “Good morning Ellery,
are you ready for your first set of injections?”

“I
guess as much as I’ll ever be,” I nervously answered.

She
was flipping through my chart and then looked at me with concerning eyes.

 “Tell
me how you’re feeling right now, at this moment.”

I
narrowed my eyes at her, “I’m scared and unsure, that’s how I’m feeling.”

She
took ahold of my hand, “I know you’re scared, but this will be a walk in the
park compared to chemotherapy, I promise. The others who have recently received
these injections have not had any side effects.”

“That’s
great Dr. Murphy, but you don’t even know if the injections are working.” She
pursed her lips together as Connor walked over and put his hands on my
shoulders.

“I’m
confident it’s going to work; have faith Ellery.” I managed a small smile as
she asked me to lie down on the bed. She looked over to Connor.

“She’s
going to need you; I would suggest holding her hands.” I looked at Dr. Murphy
alarmed.

“Why?”
I asked.

She
heavily sighed. “Ellery, I’m not going to lie to you, these injections are very
painful; you are going to feel like someone lit your body on fire, but it’s
only temporary and we need to keep you here under observation for a couple of
hours to make sure there aren’t side effects.”

Connor
sat on the side of the bed as I turned on my side to face him. Dr. Murphy
called her nurse in and held up the first needle. Connor grabbed my hands as he
stared directly in my eyes. “Just look at me baby and focus on nothing but me, ok?”
I shook my head as Dr. Murphy inserted the first needle. I shrieked at its
sting, as tears swelled in my eyes. It didn’t take long for the fiery pain to
start blazing through my body.

“Ok
Ellery, I’m going to give injection number 2,” Dr. Murphy said as she pierced
my skin with the needle.

 I
let out a louder cry this time for the burning intensified. I let go of Connor
and clutched his shirt with both hands as he moved in closer and wrapped his
arms around me. I screamed in his chest as the last needle entered my body.

“Dr.
Murphy, please, isn’t there anything you can do for her?” Connor desperately
asked.

“I’m
sorry Mr. Black, we have to let it run its course and it’s only temporary. I’ll
be back in an hour to see how she’s doing; if you need anything or she’s having
a reaction, you are to push this button immediately.”

 He
shook his head as she walked out of the room. My body felt like it was engulfed
in flames and my soul was trying to escape.

“It’s
ok,” Connor kept saying as he held me and I shook in his arms. At that point I
didn’t know which was worse, this or Chemotherapy.

A
couple of days had passed and we mostly stayed in. We cooked together, had lots
of sex and watched movies. When Connor had to do work, I would sit in front of
my easel and paint. I smiled at Connor who was sitting at the table on his
laptop conducting business meetings with his employees. I was happy and it felt
right. For the first time in a long time, I had hope that I would have a future
and this man would be a part of it.

The
next morning, I didn’t feel like getting out of bed, so I laid there and I
tried to sleep, but I could hear Connor talking to someone on the phone.

“Yes
mom, I’m coming and I’m bringing someone with me; she’s very special and I want
you to meet her.”

It
was then I realized that next week was Thanksgiving. Connor came walking into
the room as I opened my eyes and saw him staring at me. He smiled as he walked
over and sat on the edge of the bed, “How are you feeling?” he asked as his
finger ran down my jaw line.

“I’m
feeling ok. I heard you on the phone.”

I
was talking to my mother. I’m taking you home for Thanksgiving.”

As
much as I wanted to meet his family I was a hot mess of a cancer patient and I
didn’t know how they would react to that.

“Did
you tell your mom about me?”

“Of
course I did, and she’s going to love you.”

I
licked the bottom of my dry lip, “I mean did you tell her I have cancer?”

He
sat there and looked at me and I could see the pain in his eyes which told me
he didn’t.

“Why
didn’t you tell her Connor?”

His
eyes traveled to the window, “I haven’t had the chance and it’s not something I
want to do over the phone Elle, I think that needs to be done in person.”

“So,
what you’re saying is that you want me to spring it on her on Thanksgiving. Hi
Black family, I’m Ellery Lane, your son’s girlfriend who has cancer for the
second time in her 24 years of life and is nothing but a walking cancer
disaster.”

He
got up from the bed. “Wow Elle, you really know how to ruin a moment.”

I
felt an argument coming on, but I didn’t care, I was angry at him for not
telling his mother.

 “I
will tell her before Thanksgiving, end of discussion.”

His
authoritative tone burned my blood. “No Connor, it’s not the end of the
discussion and don’t you dare take that tone with me.”

He
turned away from the window and looked at me, “Are you looking to start an
argument?”

“All
you have to do is tell me why you didn’t tell her yet.”

His
eyes turned dark as he glared at me. I could see anger in them. “You want to
know why? I haven’t been able to do anything because I’m stuck here taking care
of you.”

Did
I just hear this bastard right? Did he just say he’s STUCK here taking care of
me? I felt my blood pressure rise as my heart felt like it had been stabbed with
a knife. He realized what he said because he turned towards the window again
and ran his hands through his hair.

“Stuck,
you’re not stuck here Connor, I didn’t fucking ask you to come here; I didn’t
fucking ask you to take care of me.”

He
turned towards me, “Baby I didn’t mean it like that.”