Forever Blessed (Women of Prayer) (22 page)

“So, I shouldn’t try to please my husband? I shouldn’t try to attain perfection to make him happy and keep him from getting angry?”

“Yes, you should try and please your husband. But not because you want to attain perfection as you say or keep him from getting angry. The reason you please your husband is because he is your husband and you love him. Wanting to please him and feeling like you have to please him are two very different things.”

“I think I know what you mean. When Paul and I first got married, I think I wanted to please him. I enjoyed making him dinner and anticipating his needs. But, I found out rather quickly that nothing I could do was good enough. So I pushed harder and harder, making myself do more and do it better. The complaining got worse. He went from calling me incompetent to calling me outright stupid. Then that wasn’t enough and he started pushing me around. It just kept getting worse.” She pulled out the new tea she bought. “Enough of this negative talk. You just got home from your honeymoon. Let’s talk about fun stuff. First, what kind of tea do you want?” She handed her the box of the herbal tea she had picked up from the grocery store. “So, did your new place come furnished or do we need to shop?”

“We’re getting a few new things, but Austin does have quite a bit of furniture at his place. We are moving that up here then will figure out what else we need. I do know we are getting a new bedroom set. It’s just not right for a newly married couple to sleep in the same bed that he used to sleep in with his first wife. I know, she passed away, but still. I don’t want to be compared to her. He loved her, deeply. But, I am not her.”

“I can see that. I wouldn’t want to either.”

“I also need your help with something else that has been bothering me. I am going into a ready-made family here. All the sudden, I have two sons. Any advice for me?”

“Sheila, be yourself. Don’t be something you’re not. They’ll see through you in a nanosecond if you’re trying to impress them. Trust me, they want the real you.”

“Is that it?”

“Well, boys love video games.” Both women laughed.

“I suppose bribing them is okay then?”

A closing car door brought both women to their feet. Laney opened the door for Austin.

“Hi, Laney. How have you been?” He smiled a smile that was obviously for the other woman in the room.

“Pretty good. How about yourself?”

“Oh, I’d say about as good as a guy can get. Now that I have the perfect woman by my side.”

Sheila stood up and folded the afghan. “See, what did I tell you Laney? Perfect for him does not mean perfect in every way.”

Austin shot Sheila a look. “Hey, I take offense to that. I didn’t say you weren’t perfect in every way.”

“I’ll explain later.” Sheila put on her coat and gave Laney a hug. We’re heading back to Illinois tonight to pack and get things ready to move. We’ll be there the next few days.” She looked to Austin, “the movers are coming on Friday morning, right?”

He was halfway to the car. “Yeah, we’ll be back up here on Friday afternoon.” He turned toward the women and said with a laugh, “Laney, you free Friday afternoon?”

“Nope, I’ll be busy. I’m sure of it.”

She hugged Sheila. “Of course I’ll be there. Just let me know what time. If it’s later in the afternoon, the kids can come help too.”

“Okay, I’ll keep you posted. I’ll talk with you soon.”

On the two-hour drive south Sheila filled Austin in on what had been happening with Laney and Ella while they had been gone. Austin was concerned.

“Sheila, I sat in front of that guy. He gave me the chills. I wouldn’t put any of this past him. He’s truly capable of anything.”

They rode the rest of the way home in silence, hand in hand, fearful of what might lay in store for Laney if indeed her husband had been the one terrorizing her friends. Because if this was the punishment her friends got for helping her, only God could truly protect her from Paul’s exacting revenge.

             
             
Chapter Twenty-Eight

Ever since the rock incident, Ella had been a little more careful about pulling her drapes shut. She had never felt in danger before now in her own house, in her own neighborhood. All that changed the day of the rock. So, when the doorbell rang, she about jumped out of her skin. She muttered to herself .
It’s just the doorbell, settle down.
The problem was, with the drapes pulled she couldn’t see who was on her front door step and being so short, she couldn’t see out the peephole.

She wondered if they would notice the drapes moving if she pulled them aside. Deciding it didn’t matter, she peeked behind the drape panel to find her daughter and her grandchildren standing on her front porch. Ella unlocked and opened the door as fast as she could, tears streaming down her wrinkled cheeks.

When her daughter turned to look at her, she saw the black eye. She didn’t say anything but the look of alarm on her face spoke volumes. The kids stood beside their mother, polite yet reserved, they hadn’t seen their grandmother much over the years and didn’t know how to act. She pulled them into an embrace. “Oh, my goodness, how you two have grown up.” She showed them in and took their coats.

“Are you hungry? Can I get you something to drink?”

Marsha, Ella’s daughter, looked around the small living room. “Mom, we’re fine. We ate a little while ago and the kids just finished a soda.” She hesitated. “Is there something they can do so we can talk?”

Ella looked at the young boys and wondered what on earth she might have they would enjoy. Had she had some notice, she could have been better prepared. “I have some board games on the top shelf of the closet. They aren’t those fancy games they play these days, but they might enjoy them.”

Marsha sent her nine-and eleven-year old to check out the games while she and her mother went to the bedroom and shut the door. “Mom, I didn’t know what to do.” She started sobbing and held onto her mother. “I didn’t know where else to go.” She pulled away and looked at Ella. “I know I don’t deserve your love. After the way I have treated you all these years, but I didn’t know anyone else who would understand.”

Ella held her daughter. “You will always be welcome here. You are my daughter and I love you more than life itself. You’ve done the right thing, I’m glad you came.”

They sat on the bed and talked for hours. “Mom, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”

“How could you? I didn’t expect you to understand. You were only a child.” Ella pulled a photo album from the closet. “It wasn’t supposed to be like that. We were supposed to be one happy family. I’m so sorry I hurt you.”

The photo album had very few pictures in it. Mainly from her first marriage, when she thought life could bring her happiness. The rest were random pictures of the kids when they were little. Ella opened the album to pictures of Marsha, when she was a baby. “You were such a happy baby. Always smiling. You didn’t even cry when you messed your pants. My heart broke the day your father died.” She smiled a sad, tired smile. “I didn’t think I could go on without him. You were the only reason I kept on going. You were my little light at the end of the tunnel.” Ella turned the page. “Your father’s death left us virtually penniless. We had nothing. I moved back in with your grandparents but that wasn’t the answer, or at least not the answer I wanted. When I met your stepfather, I thought all of our problems were solved. Boy, was I wrong. Our problems had just begun.” She turned the page once again. “Here you were at our wedding. You were only one, so carefree and full of life. You weren’t afraid of anything. One time we went to the lake with some friends. You were about three then.  We were all invited; I think it was a work picnic. You saw the water and took off running and jumped right off the end of the pier. The only problem was, you couldn’t swim. We had to fish you out of the lake. You had to wear a life vest the entire day, just to keep you safe. I never worried about you. I knew you’d make it, that you wouldn’t end up like me.” Ella questioned her daughter with her eyes.

“Mom, I really don’t know what happened. I remember you being sad all the time.  You weren’t like all the other mothers at school. And I hated you for it. You never smiled. You never volunteered for any of my school activities. You didn’t do anything, or at least that is what I thought. For so long, you were exactly what I didn’t want to be. That is why I waited so long to have children myself. I wanted to be successful, self-sufficient and not dependent upon any man.

Then I fell in love with Cliff. Everything was good for so long. He never laid a hand on me, mom, not ever. Ten years passed before we decided to have a family. He knew my fears. I shared everything with him.” She sniffled. “That is why this is so hard to understand. He just flipped. He became this person I don’t know. How can that happen?” She continued. “One minute he is loving and kind and the man I married. The next minute, I’m lying on the ground with a bloody nose and a black eye. How does someone change just like that?” She snapped her fingers.

“Remember that day that dad smashed your face into the mayonnaise on his sandwich? I vowed that day I’d never, ever be like you. Now I understand mom, I really do. I am so, so sorry.”

Ella held her daughter close and let her cry. Her insides hurt for her. She wished she could take it all away. She’d rather have her daughter’s contempt, than for her to know what being abused felt like. As much as not having a relationship with her daughter hurt her over the years, she could handle it. She would take every tear if only she could. If only; the story of her life. If only she’d stayed with her parents until God provided the answer. If only she hadn’t married the first guy that came along. If only she’d stood up to him. If only she had made her daughter understand. Now, if only she could take away the pain. This “if only” was out of her control. There was nothing she could do about it.

Marsha lifted her head from her mother’s shoulder. “He knows I am here. We decided together that I had to leave. He knows something is wrong with him and he’s going to see his doctore. This is too crazy. It just doesn’t make any sense. He’s going to call me after his appointment. We read some studies online about abuse that comes on suddenly. There can be medical reasons for it. That is what we are hoping, that this can be fixed so we can live a normal life. I love him, mom. I don’t want to see our marriage end and I know I can’t live like this.”

“Honey, have you prayed about the situation?”

“No, I haven’t. I don’t know that I believe in religion and God and all that stuff. It’s too crazy for me to wrap my head around. It doesn’t make sense. I mean, I know you do, and that’s okay for you, but it’s not for me, okay?”

“Is it okay if I pray for you and Cliff?

“If it makes you feel better, then go ahead. I just know it’s not for me.”

Ella looked heavenward and addressed her Lord. “Father, thank you for bringing Marsha back to me. I have missed her so. But Lord, my heart is breaking over her pain. Father, I ask that you lead the doctors in finding what is wrong with Cliff. I pray that you give them wisdom. Lord I also pray that you heal this marriage and reveal yourself to this couple. I pray you become the center of this marriage and they would learn that everything good comes from you. Lord, please protect my grandchildren. Keep them safe. Lord I thank you for what you are about to do in our lives. You are worthy of all honor and praise and I thank you. In Jesus’ name. Amen.”

A knock on the door brought mother and daughter to the present. “Mom, we’re getting kind of hungry. And we’ve played every game in Grandma’s closet. Can you come out now?”

Marsha held her kids. “I love you guys. You know that?”

“Yeah, mom. We know. Can we eat now?”

That night both Ella and Marsha slept in Ella’s bed while the boys slept in the guest room, even though they were a little "creeped out" by all the old lady stuff in there.

Marsha spoke with Cliff several times over the next week. His appointment went well and they were waiting for test results. In spite of the outburst, Marsha was missing her husband. For Ella, the week was a little piece of heaven, an answer to prayer. She got to know her grandchildren and she spent a lot of time talking with her daughter, pouring her heart out. Though she prayed for her daughter’s and son in law’s marriage, she dreaded the day Marsha would head back to Chicago. She knew it was coming soon. Her daughter was fidgeting and unable to sit still. She prayed things wouldn’t go back to normal.