Forever Bound (14 page)

“Merry Christmas to you too. I can’t remember the last time I was so excited about Christmas. I can’t wait for you and Lily to open your presents.”

I could tell he meant it. Even having just awakened, his eyes were full of affection and good spirts. It filled me with a kind of awed happiness, that a man like Declan was so invested in me and Lily.

“You can give me my present now, if you want a head start,” I told him brightly.

He chuckled. “Nice try.”

“You could just tell me what it is, and then I’d still act surprised.”

“Not a chance.”

“You’re kind of mean.”

“And you’re kind of pushy.”

“I guess we deserve each other then.”

“I don’t know if I deserve you,” he said, his expression shifting slightly, “but I’m sure as hell glad that I have you.”

We kissed again—soft and leisurely—until we heard the sound of feet running in the hallway. Declan groaned and rolled off of me as Lily called out at the top of her lungs, “I’m awake! It’s Christmas!”

“We’ll be out in a minute,” I called back.

I giggled at Declan’s face. “One of the joys of having a kid.”

His face softened into a smile. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

I was filled with so much feeling and affection that I couldn’t possibly contain it.

“What?” he asked, sitting up and giving me a curious look.

I shook my head.

“What?” he demanded again.

“Nothing. Just that I love you.”

I really couldn’t believe I’d actually said it out loud. Surely it was too soon. I didn’t want to spook him or make him feel trapped.

His expression, as he processed the words, looked anything but trapped. His face broke into joy. “Good. Because I sure as hell love you too. And it’s going to be for forever.”

“Hurry up!” Lily yelled from outside the door. “It’s time for presents!”

We were both laughing as we got up and put on some more clothes. Then we went out to find Lily and make coffee and waffles before we opened Christmas presents.

As she was looking at the Christmas tree with her mouth full of food, Lily burst out, “Merry Christmas to us!”

Declan and I couldn’t help but agree.

Declan

“Here’s to the new year,” I said as I held up my beer. Levi, Sebastian and Cole did the same, and we all saluted.

Actually, the New Year had started a little over a week ago, but this was the first time the four of us were together—and alone. New Year’s Eve had been great. Levi and Harper were there. I still couldn’t believe they were having a baby. Even looking at Levi now, the sappy grin hadn’t left his face.

Seb and Ali were there—decked out like they were going to the Academy Awards or something. Sebastian’s family had made them put in an appearance at the annual Maxwell New Year’s Ball. I was thankful that the rest of us hadn’t gotten sucked into that one.

Looking over at Cole, I frowned. He was a damn mystery. Oh, he had been at the New Year’s party—hell, he’d even brought a date. But he wasn’t happy. He wasn’t relaxed. After all this time he still wasn’t comfortable in his own skin, and it was starting to worry me.

“As much as I loved seeing everyone and celebrating last week,” Levi said, “this is still better.” He motioned to the four of us just sitting around a table in our favorite pub.

“Here, here,” Seb said and took a pull of his drink.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah…great to be here. What’s next on the schedule?” Cole asked, seemingly agitated.

Levi sent him a pointed glare before clearing his throat. “Our schedule is relatively clear for the month of January. I did that intentionally so that we can train the two new guys. I want them to spend a week with each of us. I think we all bring something unique to the table, and I want them to feel comfortable when we put them on their first cases come February.”

“I’m not holding anyone’s fucking hand,” Cole snapped.

A loud collective sigh came from around the table. “No one said hand-holding, jackass,” Levi said. “I just want these guys to know what they’re doing and to understand the kind of work that we do.”

“Whatever.”

“So what does that mean for the rest of us come February?” I asked.

“We’re going to start looking at computer security and doing consultations for the private sector. I think it’s the best of both worlds. We still get to do what we love, without putting ourselves in the line of fire. And I know I can’t speak for all of us, but I’m looking forward to spending time closer to home.” And there was that sappy grin again.

“How’s Harper feeling?” Seb asked.

“She’s good. A little morning sickness but other than that, she’s feeling really good. Her parents are over the moon about the baby.”

“Have you started planning anything yet?” I asked. “Names? Nursery?” As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I wanted to groan. A couple of months ago, I couldn’t have cared less about kids, families, nursery’s…but now? I thought about Lily’s room and how Kristin had painted the mural on the wall and how they spent time every night before bed reading stories. A smile crossed my face. The thought of experiencing that someday with a child of my own wasn’t nearly as unappealing or scary as it once was.

“Wipe that fucking grin off your face,” Cole growled. “I expected that with Levi and even Seb, but you? You were supposed to be on my side and leave all that marriage and baby crap to them.”

I shrugged and took a drink. “Believe me, I’m just as shocked as you are. It completely snuck up on me, but I don’t regret it for a minute.”

Cole snorted with disgust.

“The only thing we’ve decided is that if it’s a boy, we’re going to name him Gavin.”

We all fell silent.

It doesn’t seem to matter how much time passes, just the mention of Gavin’s name and I felt like I’d been kicked in the gut. My heart was racing, and I could feel myself beginning to sweat. Everything about that day, that hour, that minute comes rushing back to me. Why was it that I was here and he was not?

Survivor’s guilt. Yeah, I got it. Everyone kept telling me that it was normal, but would they still be saying that if they knew that it was my fault—that it was my distraction—that cost my friend his life?

I hated it. Hated this. The fact that the four of us were sitting here and talking calmly about our futures and how we were hiring other guys to take on the more dangerous cases so that we could all sit back and be safe. Gavin didn’t have that option.

“My in-laws were a little shocked that we wanted to do it,” Levi said, interrupting my thoughts, “but we told them that it was the best way to honor Gavin.”

“I think that’s awesome,” Sebastian said. “Gavin would’ve liked that.”

And the thing was, he would have, I thought. Gavin loved his sister so damn much and was so proud of everything that she did, and there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that if he had lived and was here now, he would be doting on her and making sure Levi was taking care of her.

Which he was.

I sat back and listened to him talk a little more about how he felt about becoming a father and it had me thinking about Lily. And Kristin.

There was no way that I could ever replace Nick. Not for either of them. But it was an intimidating position to be in. I want to be Kristin’s husband. I want to be Lily’s father. But Nick was always going to be there. And I knew that it wasn’t fair to him. I knew that I was going to love and take care of them both, but—especially in Lily’s case—I had to be careful to not overstep and make her feel like I’m trying to replace her father.

If she wanted to call me Declan for the rest of my life, I’d be fine with it. But if she ever wants to call me dad…well…just the thought of it was like someone is squeezing my heart.

So there we sat. Levi was just starting his family. I’d stepped into a ready-made one. Sebastian and Ali would be getting married soon, and I knew that they’ll be in the same position before too long.

And then there was Cole.

He was clearly distracted as Levi talked and I couldn’t blame him. Before Kristin and Lily, I probably would have been scanning the room looking for something else to do while Levi talked about the joys of pregnancy and decorating nurseries.

But it was something more.

He was angry about the turn of events within our company. He’d been vocal since day one about our taking on less dangerous cases. It was like he had a death wish. Hell, I think we all did when we first came home. We didn’t feel worthy of being alive, being able to walk around each day and be around our friends and families. We each did things that we didn’t want to do because we didn’t think we deserved to be happy.

Levi went to work with his father—which he swore he’d never do.

Sebastian went to work with his father—which he despised.

And me? Hell, I just wandered around and refused to settle anywhere because it’s harder to hit a moving target. I was happy moving from place to place and keeping everything superficial because I didn’t want to make connections. Didn’t want to care about anyone.

Because it hurt too much when you lost them.

And then I met Kristin.

She made me want to stay in one place. Made me want to stay grounded and put down roots. And it felt really good to actually feel alive again.

Cole needed that. He needs to find that place—where he was comfortable with himself, comfortable in his skin and where he could live in the present and look forward to the future rather than staying in the past.

I know he had a lot of baggage—shitty upbringing, abusive parents, time in a gang—he’d been there, done that and yet he didn’t see how far he’s come. In his own mind, he was still that punk.

He’d keep taking the shitty cases that no one wants because they’re too dangerous. Hell, he’d probably even search them out himself. Eventually, the guys and I would have to do something drastic to make him stop running. That was what Levi and Seb did for me. They saw something in me that told them that I needed to stop running.

Who knew it would take a classroom full of six-year olds to make that happen?

And you know what? I don’t regret it for a minute. I know I was a prick in the beginning and I went into the case kicking and screaming and bitching. Hell, what did I know? Turned out that my friends really did look out for me and maybe, just maybe, knew what’s best for me.

I looked over at Cole again. Levi had done talking babies, so Cole was back in the conversation. We’d let him be for now. I had to make a mental note to talk to Levi and Seb about cases that I thought would benefit Cole. When the time was right. Right now? We all had enough on our plates. There were new guys to train and lives to settle into.

And for the first time in a long time, I was actually looking forward to the future.

If you enjoyed Forever Bound, you might also enjoy another book in the series, Honor Bound.

Feeling pleased and victorious, I pushed the window up.

It really wouldn’t be that hard for me to climb inside.

I stood for a minute, trying to decide whether I should do it or not. No one was around. What harm could it do? If I was caught, I could always say I was checking out the building for possible use in the charity event.

It wasn’t dangerous. And it would be a first step toward seeking justice, restoring my family’s honor.

Feeling a rush of determination, I leaned in and saw that the window opened to what definitely looked like an office. My heart raced as I started to climb inside.

“What are you doing?”

I froze, halfway in the window, when I heard the unexpected male voice from behind me.

My mind whirled with fear, embarrassment, and desperation as I tried to remember the excuse I’d just thought up a minute ago.

This wasn’t supposed to be happening.

I’d started to ease myself down from the window, when I felt a pair of strong hands on my waist. They startled me so much that I jerked and turned around too quickly.

I bumped my head on the window and stumbled into the man who was now right behind me.

I would have fallen had he not caught me. I found myself looking up at the face of the best-looking man I’d ever seen in my life.

He was about five or six inches taller than me, with a fine, athletic body. He had vivid green eyes and strong features that were so handsome they were startling. His expression was half-questioning and half-amused as he gazed down at me.

“Ouch,” I said stupidly, rubbing my head where I’d hit it on the window.

His expression transformed to a full smile. “That’s what happens when you try to climb in somewhere you don’t belong.”

Ridiculously—absolutely ridiculously—I wanted to smile back. His expression was just so warm and amused.

He wore a pair of khakis and a black t-shirt, and I figured he must work on the grounds somehow, since he seemed to belong here when I clearly did not.

“I wasn’t trying to climb in,” I lied, thinking as quickly as I could. “I was just looking inside to see what was in there.”

“Why would you need to see inside the guest cottage?”

A guest cottage. Oh. That was what this this place was. Not a secret office hideaway housing tempting secrets. Definitely not worth the embarrassment of getting caught like this. “I didn’t know what it was,” I said, speaking the truth in this at least. “I’m the assistant of the event planner. I was just checking out what the building was to see if we could use it somehow for the big charity gala.”

The man’s mouth tilted up slightly in one corner as his green eyes ran up and down my body. His gaze looked appreciative—as if he liked how I looked—so maybe he didn’t think I looked like a school marm. “I guess you could use it for couples who want to sneak off for sex. Maybe reserve it by the half-hour so you can offer it to as many horny couples as possible.”

He spoke with such a deadpan expression that it took me a minute to realize he was joking. When I realized it, the clever humor hit me so hard that I burst into laughter.

His expression changed as he watched me, and I sobered, feeling suddenly self-conscious.

Like he could see me. All of me. Even the parts I didn’t want anyone else to see.

“Who are you?” he asked at last, his voice softer, something almost awed in his husky tone.

My cheeks warmed with feeling stronger than self-consciousness. “I told you. I’m the assistant to the event planner. Ali.”

“Ali,” he repeated. “You have the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen.”

Okay, I admit it. I blushed even hotter. I could have said the same thing to him. He had the warmest smile I’d ever seen. And the most beautiful eyes. And the best shoulders. I didn’t say any of that, though. I’d always been quiet. Just a little shy. I certainly didn’t tell strange men that they were the sexiest thing I’d ever seen.

Even if it happened to be true.

To distract myself—even more than him—I glanced back at the guest cottage and said, “Well, maybe I can charge a fee for its use and make a little extra money.”

He blinked for a minute, as if it took him a minute to process my words. Then he leaned his head back and laughed.

I had to look away, since he was just too good-looking for my mental health.

“Anyway,” he said at last, “I don’t think there’s anything over this way that’s going to help you with that gala, so you probably should get back to the main house.”

“Yeah. Sorry.” I looked down at the paver stones beneath my feet, feeling a strange jittery excitement that was completely irrational.

Just because I met a hot man who thought I had a nice smile didn’t mean anything about my life was going to change. I would probably not even see this guy again. Nothing to get excited about.

“I’m not sorry at all.” His voice was warm, almost but not quite flirtatious.

I gave him a quick look up from beneath my lashes, and then I started walking toward the house again, telling myself that there was no reason to linger. No reason to keep talking to him. Even if I wanted to.

I had a job to do. And then I had to find out where Ken Gentry kept his home office and his files.

To my surprise, the man fell in step with me.

“This is a beautiful estate,” I said, searching for some sort of innocuous conversation because I was feeling awkward.

“I guess.”

I looked at him in surprise. “You don’t think so?”

“It’s too big and flashy for me.”

I couldn’t help but smile, since it somehow pleased me that he didn’t like this beautiful estate, as it was associated with people I hated.

“Yeah. I think so too.”

He looked like he was going to say something else, but then his phone rang. He glanced at it with an apologetic expression. “Sorry,” he murmured. “Duty calls.”

“It always does. I think I can find my way back.”

He gave me a smile over his shoulder that took my breath away. “I’ll find you later.”

I couldn’t help but smile back. “You might have to look pretty hard.”

“I’m good at hard.”

So I blushed again as I felt a rush of excitement at the innuendo, but at least I managed not to giggle as I watched him walk away.

The man also had the finest butt I’d ever seen.

I spent the next hour collecting the photos and notations that Cheryl needed, trying to suppress the bubbling thrill of interest at the thought of the man I’d met. He was probably one of those guys who flirted with all women he encountered and so it didn’t mean anything at all to him.

I really shouldn’t get excited about him. I didn’t even know his name.

It had been a really long time since I’d been interested in a man, though.

Cheryl and I were leaving when I saw him again. He was talking to Ken Gentry, and something about the way they were interacting made me rethink my initial idea of his being a grounds worker.

Ken waved Cheryl over to where they were chatting in the entry hall, and I had no choice but to trail behind.

The good-looking man’s expression changed when he saw me, and he gave me a covert smile that I was hard-pressed not to return. I had to turn away and tighten my lips to maintain a professional expression.

“Let me introduce you,” Ken was saying to Cheryl. “Sebastian is heading up security for the gala. You’ll want to touch base with him about your final plans to make sure he gives you the okay.”

“Of course,” Cheryl said with her best smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Sebastian. I’m Cheryl Hoover.”

The man, whose name was evidently Sebastian, reached out to shake her hand. “Nice to meet you.” He turned toward me with obvious purpose.

Cheryl blinked, since she may or may not have been planning to introduce me to the men too. Then said, “This is my assistant, Ali.”

“Nice to meet you, Ali,” Sebastian said, taking my hand in his and squeezing around it—firm but not hard.

“Nice to meet you too.”

He didn’t let go of my hand immediately, and I felt another rush of giddy excitement.

He really did seem to like me. Maybe he wasn’t just a natural flirt. Maybe he was genuinely interested.

“Sebastian is Mr. Maxwell’s son,” Ken said to Cheryl, as casually as if he were offering a cup of coffee. “He and some friends have just started a security firm, so I decided to use him for this event.”

I froze, all the warmth and excitement and interest draining out of me in an instant. He finally released my hand, and I managed to get it back to my side, where I wiped it discreetly on my pants.

Sebastian. Sebastian Maxwell. Heir to a fortune. Son of John Maxwell, CEO of Maxwell Industries. The man who, with Ken Gentry, had destroyed my family.

He wasn’t just a nice, hot guy who I happened to run into.

His family was the reason my family was ruined.

He was here to protect the premises. I was here to infiltrate it.

This was not—absolutely not—a man I could be attracted to.

***

You can find out more about Honor Bound
here
.