Forever Country (13 page)

Coming back to my childhood home has put
things into perspective for me. I left here over ten years ago to
find myself, just to realize ten years later, that I was never
lost.

In the morning, as soon as
I collect the eggs and feed the animals,
I
jog into town. I stop at the small market and get the newspaper and
then I run to the post office to check the mail. I’m surprised to
see there’s something for me in the mailbox. No return address and
it’s written in shaky cursive writing. There’s other mail for my
parents and I remember they check the mail only once a week. I open
the letter addressed to me.

Abel Kennedy,

I’m watching you.

Not a Fan

I read it and turn it over. There’s nothing
else written on it. It’s not a handwriting I’ve seen before. I look
at the envelope again and nothing else is written on it; it’s just
my name and mailing address. I’m a professional boxer, so it could
be from anyone. I’m not too concerned, so I tear it up and toss it
in the trash. I do wonder how anyone would know I am in Rose
Farm.

When I arrive home, Momma is in the kitchen
getting ready to make breakfast.

“
Would you like to go out
for breakfast today?”

“
At Peaches Place?” Momma
asks.

“
Anyplace you want.” I lay
the paper down on the bar in the kitchen.

“
Bud, is Mia workin’ this
mornin’?”

“
She sure is,” he yells
from the living room.

“
Do you mind if I run into
Campbell’s afterward?” Momma asks as she adjusts the hairpin in her
hair.

“
No, I have no place I need
to be.”

We have breakfast and visit with Mia. Mia
tells the staff and all of the customers about the pregnancy.
Everyone is excited, especially Momma and Pops. Momma says she’s
going to start buyin’ something for the baby every week and puttin’
it back for when the baby is born. Pops reads the paper and
nods.

“
Bud, did you hear what I
said?”

He smiles and looks over the paper and over
his glasses at her. “Yes, Nelly.” He sets the paper down and
repeats everything she said, word for word. That even impresses me.
“Are you happy?” he asks.

“
Yes,” she
pouts.

He raises the paper and continues to read it.
I take a sip of my coffee and say, “I had an idea the other night
while we were at the church for the community meal.”

Pops lowers the paper and removes his
glasses. “We’re listening.”

I chose my words wisely. “I was checking out
the old Rose Farm School.”

“
Isn’t that a sight?” Momma
says in disgust.

“
It is,” I admit. “However,
it’s a well-built building with a solid foundation.”

“
That it is,” Pops agrees.
He watches me and doesn’t look away.

“
Wouldn’t take much to fix
it up.” I take a drink of my now lukewarm coffee. “Some money, and
a whole lot of muscle. Savannah Mae tells me the township owns
it.”

“
They do. The building’s
been sittin’ empty since 1966. Mr. Gerald Clutter was the last
principal there.”

Momma says, “You got something cookin’ in
that head of yours.”

“
I have an idea. Not sure
if it’s a great idea yet.”

“
Well, let’s hear it,” Pops
says, as he signals to Mia for more coffee.

“
I was thinking of buying
it, and having something with a playground and a park or something.
Turn it into something that’ll bring in jobs and benefit everyone
in the community.”

Momma smiles. “Does that mean you’re not
leavin’?”

“
I would like to stay. I
would also like to do something for the residents of Rose
Farm.”

Momma rushes up out of her chair and causes a
scene as she rushes over to me. “My boy’s stayin’,” she says as she
hugs me. “That makes me happier than a pig in slop.”

Mia looks at me and smiles. I think I see her
eyes glistening with tears. Momma sits down and Pops is also
smiling. “We can go down Monday and talk to the people at the
township.”

“
I’ll need a place to stay
until I can find something.”

“
You can stay right where
you’re at. We don’t use that room for anything.”

“
Nelly, he’s a grown man.
He’ll want his own place.”

“
I have some business to
attend to at home. I’ll need to sell the condo and clear my things
out.”

Pops says, “You thinkin’ if everything goes
well, gettin’ to work on it this spring?”

“
I think the spring would
be best.”

“
Let’s see what
the township says next week.” Pops finishes his
coffee. “Belle, don’t be sayin’ nothin’ just yet.”

“
And who do I got to
tell?”

“
Who won’t you tell?” Pops
says and chuckles as he raises the paper to read it.

Savannah Mae

The next morning when I pick up Sawyer
Jackson from his daddy’s, I begin to feel anxious. My palms sweat
and I take several deep breaths. I haven’t felt this way since our
divorce. I don’t like feeling like this. I remind myself that I
can’t do anything about it, so just breathe. I’ll pull up, blow the
horn, and wait in the car for Ethan to bring Sawyer Jackson out to
the car.

A thin layer of snow is on the ground, but
the streets are clear. I let out a sigh of relief when I see that
Heather Sue’s car is gone. I stick to my plan and blow the horn.
Ethan stands at the door, waving me in. I shake my head and blow
the horn again.

After several minutes, he carries Sawyer
Jackson and a large bag out of the house. I get out of the car and
buckle Sawyer Jackson into his booster seat.

“
You don’t want to keep
that here?” I ask about the bag he’s holding.

“
This is what he wanted to
bring; he left some things here for when he comes back.”

“
Oh, looks like Santa was
good to him this year.”

I take the heavy bag and place it in the
trunk of my car.

“
Savannah Mae, about
yesterday…”

“
Jesus, Ethan. I don’t want
to talk about it.” I look at him and I suddenly want to cry. I just
want to move on and get over the pain. “You don’t owe me an
apology. It’s over between us.”

“
I’m gettin’
married.”

“
What?” I hold onto the car
for support.

“
Heather Sue and I are
gettin’ married.”

I get a high-pitched noise in my ears and my
head feels like it’s going to explode. I slowly walk and get into
the car. As soon as I buckle my seatbelt, I pull off. I don’t
remember closin’ my car door, and I don’t remember anything
else.

I drive to my parents’ house. I don’t cry, I
don’t talk. I just need a minute. I need to process this without my
son watching me. I promised myself I would never bad mouth his
father in front of him, but that has proven to be difficult to do.
There is so much I have to say, but none of it is appropriate for a
child or a teenager or an adult or anyone.

My mom and sister are outside waitin’ for me
when I pull up. Ethan must have called them.

“
I’m sorry,
Sis.”

“
Aunt Sammie,” Sawyer says,
excitedly.

“
C’mon, Buddy. Let’s go
play a game.”

I remain in the car and watch as my sister
takes my son into the house. When they are out of view, the tears
fall.

“
He’s getting’
married.”

“
I know, Baby,” mom says.
“He called and said you left upset. He said he tried talkin’ to
you.”

“
He’s gettin’ married.
Ethan had an affair, he broke up our family, and he gets to move
on,” I cry. “That’s not fair. I’m the one who should get to move
on. I’m the one who should be happy. Not him.”

Mom gets in the car and sits with me. “I wish
I knew what to say.”

“
I don’t understand it.” I
look at my mom through tears. “He cheated on me. Why does he get to
move on, and I’m stuck here strugglin’? What am I supposed to
do?”

“
You can always come back
home. We have plenty of room for you
and
Sawyer Jackson.”

“
Thank you, but I can’t.” I
think for a minute and say, “If he decides to stop helping me
financially, I won’t be able to make it.”

“
He won’t, Savannah Mae. He
wouldn’t do that.”

“
I hope not.”

Abel Lee

We go to church on Sunday and stay for the
potluck lunch. I was excited about getting to see Savannah Mae but
disappointed when she and Sawyer Jackson weren’t there. The sermon
was about moving on and taking care of yourself in the process. It
seemed to touch home for me today.

We came to church a little earlier today.
Pops and Momma wanted to bring in some more eggs and a few packages
of meat from the pigs and cow they had slaughtered before the
holidays. I think my paying off their mortgage is giving them more
of an opportunity to help others — if that’s even possible.

When the collection plate came around today,
I placed a sealed envelope on it. I have made millions in my boxing
career and have never paid my dues to God. This is the perfect time
and place to do that. Coming back home to my country roots has
opened my eyes and my mind.

After church, Mrs. Gordon made her homemade
chocolate cake for the potluck. Pops is the first one in line for
it. I was second. I soon realize I need to join a gym. Momma is the
best cook around, and she never misses cooking a meal. I never miss
eating a meal, either.

I see the back of a little boy’s coat. It
looks like Sawyer Jackson and his aunt. How did I not see them in
church? Sawyer Jackson has a coat and hat on, so I take long
strides to catch up with them before they leave.

“
Hi, Savannah Mae’s sister,
right?” I clear my throat and smile at her. She looks like Savannah
Mae, but a younger version.

“
Oh, hi. Yes.”

“
We met at the church for
the community meal.”

“
I’m Samantha Marie,
Savannah Mae’s sister. I remember, how are you?” she asks, holding
onto Sawyer Jackson’s hand.

“
Hi, Sawyer Jackson,” I say
when he looks up at me. He waves. “Savannah Mae couldn’t make it
today?”
She isn’t here, so of course she
didn’t make it. Just ask her where she is and get it over
with.

“
Daddy’s gettin’ married
and Mommy’s sad,” Sawyer Jackson blurts out. I raise a
brow.

Her eyes get big and she bends down to
whisper something to Sawyer Jackson. She stands up and looks at me.
“Sorry about that. She has to work today.”

“
I see. Is she all right,
Samantha Marie?”

“
She’s okay. If you’ll
excuse me, I need to get goin’.”

“
Of course. I didn’t mean
to keep you. Bye, Sawyer Jackson.” He waves again.

She smiles and takes her nephew by the hand.
“See ya.”

I stand and watch them
leave the church through the kitchen. Looking around the room, I
see everyone is finishing their dessert and having polite
conversations. The preacher and a few members of the church’s
congregation are in a deep conversation in the corner of the
room.
Talking about the amount of today’s
offering, no doubt
. They all walk out of
the room together. Walking over to the window, I watch Savannah
Mae’s sister and son get into the car and leave
. Daddy’s gettin’ married and Mommy’s sad.
It’s been a few days since I saw her. I don’t know
much about her, and I know less about her marriage to her ex. Maybe
I’ll stop in for a late lunch and see how she is.

After getting a few things from Campbell’s,
Momma, Pops, and I pull up at the farm and I ask, “Would you mind
if I use the truck for a bit?”

“
It’s all yours.” Pops
helps Momma out of the truck.

“
Headin’ someplace special,
Abel?” Momma asks.

Looking across the seat at her, I say,
“Thought I might ride over to Peaches.”

“
Bein’ ya just ate, you
aren’t goin’ for lunch,” Momma says, knowingly.

I never lie to Momma, even though sometimes I
want to. “Nope, not going for the pie, either.” I laugh. “Savannah
Mae’s working today. I thought I might stop over for coffee.”

“
Coffee, huh?” Pops
chuckles as he closes the door.

I watch them as they make
their way into the farmhouse before leaving. I pull up at the small
diner on Main Street, and I can see Savannah Mae through the large
picture window in front. She is talking to the only customer in the
restaurant. He stands, and it looks like she is crying. I look away
and stare straight ahead as I give him time to leave. It looks like
a private conversion.
They’re in a
restaurant, how private can it be?

He walks past me and gets into the pickup
parked on the other side of the street. I recognize him as Savannah
Mae’s ex-husband. He was at Megan Rose’s funeral, and Pops and
Momma introduced us.

When he drives away, I chance a look inside
the diner. It seems empty. I tap my fingers on the steering wheel
and try to decide whether I should go in or leave. Main Street is
empty; it’s a typical Sunday in this small town. If I don’t go in,
I defeat my purpose of coming to see her. The reason I wanted to
see her was because Sawyer Jackson said she was sad.