Forever (Cruiser & Lex, Book 3) (2 page)

Cruiser

My eyes open. A light nearly blinds me. I blink a few times ‘til everything shifts into focus. Three pairs of eyes stare down at me.

I’m in a hospital. Lying in a bed. “Fuck,” I mutter.

“Cruiser!”

Lex. My beautiful T. Rex. I want to yank her close to me and kiss the living hell out of those lips. Hold her tight and never let her go. Tell her I’ll be hers forever.

Except, Mom pushes herself closer and grabs me. Kisses me all over the face like I’m some baby or something. “Elvis,” she says over and over again. Kiss. “Elvis.” Kiss. “Elvis.” I think I’ll close my eyes and sleep for the next fifty years. “He’s awake,” she says. “He’s awake!”

Yeah, what the hell am I waking up from? What the hell am I even doing here? Images come to my head. Jackass Jake and his jackass crew. Beating the shit out of me.

“Fuck,” I say again. Then I wince. Damn, I hurt all over.

“Do you need some pain medication?” Mom asks. “Nurse! Can we have some pain medication?”

Geez. Someone should tell her that yelling isn’t helping the hammer banging against my skull.

I’m glad to see her and Dad, who is standing next to Mom like he doesn’t know what to do. But I want to wrap my arms around my T. Rex and squeeze her to my chest. Smell her awesome Lex smell. Nuzzle her nose. She’s the only thing that can make me feel better. Not that lame pain medication.

“Do you remember what happened?” Mom asks, sticking her face in front of mine. “Do you remember anything? The doctor said you might experience some memory loss because you hit your head. What’s the last thing you remember?”

“Shirley.” Dad puts his hands on her shoulders. Tries to pull her away from me, but she shoves his hands off. “Give the boy some room to breathe.”

Mom ignores him. Her face is in front of mine again. “Elvis?”

“I’m gonna fuck up that loser Jake so bad,” I say. I can’t stop the memories from attacking my mind. The way they cornered me. Beat me. Left me to rot in the street. “Where’s my bike?”

“Please watch your language, Elvis,” Mom says.

“I’m at the fucking hospital and my body feels worse than shit.”

Mom’s eyes widen so big I see my reflection. I really do look messed up.

“Sorry,” I mutter.

Mom smooths down the lame blanket covering me. “That’s okay, honey. I understand you’ve been through a lot.”

Someone’s at the door. Hesitantly peeks his head inside. Rey. I should tell him to go to hell and never speak to me again. He’s the reason I’m here. But I’m happy to see him. Real happy.

He stands next to the others. Now four pairs of eyes stare at me. I’m about to tell them to quit looking at me because the walls are a prettier sight, when my eyes travel down my body. My arm is in a cast. In a fucking sling. “What did those bastards do to me?” At least I can move my legs.

Mom smooths down my blanket again. “Thank God you weren’t hurt too badly.”

Yeah, tell that to the ache all over my body.

She tells me I hit my head, had internal bleeding, broken ribs, and a broken arm. I was in surgery for a few hours. “How long do I need to stay here?”

“It depends on how you’re doing,” Mom says. “If everything seems to be okay, you’ll leave in a few days.”

I look at Lex. See her looking at me, too. She’s here. Don’t know why. I thought she didn’t want to see me for the rest of her life. But she’s here. For me. Damn, I want to kiss her. So, so bad.

A memory flashes before my eyes. A meadow. Lex and me kissing on the ground. Rosie spinning.

“Rosie.” I try to sit up but my ribs feel on fire. I groan and curse as I fall back.

Mom puts her hands on my shoulders. “Don’t strain yourself, honey.”

“She can walk,” I say. “Rosie can walk.”

They stare at me like my mind escaped my head and is nowhere to be found.

“What, honey?” Mom says. Her tone is one a person might use on someone who lost his mind.

Damn, it was a dream. All of it, a dream. “Nothing.”

A nurse comes in and starts fussing over me. Touching and prodding and asking how I’m doing. Then she gives me the meds. When she’s gone, the four of them stare at me again. Like I’m the host of some lame show and have to provide them with entertainment.

“Do you want to rest?” Mom asks.

“He’s been sleeping for the past two days,” Rey says.

You’ve got to be kidding me. Two days? That Jake bastard. When I get my hands on him—

“His body still may need rest,” Mom says.

“Crowding around him isn’t helping,” Dad mumbles.

Mom glares at him. “This is my son lying here, and if I want to crowd around him, I will.”

“
Your
son? I wonder who provided you with the sperm.”

Seriously?

Rey gives them a what-the-hell look. I guess Dad has finally grown some balls.

“I don’t even know why you let him out past midnight!” Mom yells.

Another nurse or whatever peeks her head inside. “Everything okay in here?”

Mom gives her a fake smile. “Everything is perfect.”

She returns the fake smile. “Great.”

As soon as she’s gone, Mom and Dad’s eyes attack each other. “Like you had a better leash on him when he lived with you,” Dad says. “When you ran the house and controlled what went on in it.”

“At least he didn’t end up in the hospital!”

“But he did end up on drugs and had to be shipped off to New York.”

“Yeah, to my parents. Because yours—”

“Mom, Dad, what the hell?” I say.

“Yeah, are you guys serious right now?” Rey says.

Lex looks like she wants to crawl under the bed.

Mom and Dad blink at all of us. Her face turns red. She clears her throat. Pats her hair. “I’m going to the cafeteria for some coffee.”

She’s gone. Now three pairs of eyes stare at me. Seven seconds pass.

Dad steps forward and lightly pats my good arm. “How are you doing, Cruiser?”

“Could be better.”

He half-winces, half laughs. “So…what exactly happened? Those kids…”

I look at my bro. He looks at me. His eyes have got nothing but fear in them.

I shrug to my dad.

Rey lets out a breath. I don’t think he meant to do that because he gets all flustered when we glance at him. “I was thinking I need, um, a drink? Can you get me a drink, Dad?”

His eyebrows dip toward his nose. “There’s a soda machine down the hall…”

Rey coughs. “Yeah. But, um…I like the ones from the cafeteria.”

Dad looks like he’s trying to figure out the solution to world peace. “Okay, Rey. Would anyone else like a drink?”

Lex and I shake our heads. I wince as my head pounds.

“See you in a bit.” Dad’s gone.

“What was that about?” I ask Rey. “You trying to get them back together or something? They’ll kill each other before they get to the caf. Why are they pissed at each other, anyway?”

“They’re blaming each other for what happened to you. Whatever, it doesn’t matter. I had to get rid of him because I really, really need to talk to you, Cruise.” He looks at Lex for a second. “Alone.”

I see the hurt on her face. It reminds me of what we fought about a few days ago. How Lex feels I push Rey in front of her. That he’s more important to me than she is. If I ask her to leave, will she feel like I’m shoving her aside? I don’t want to hurt her. I want to make up. Make up and make out.

Lex gives me a small smile. “I’ll wait outside.”

I don’t have a chance to figure out what’s the best thing to do because she walks out. Rey grabs the chair next to the bed and pulls it even closer. He drops down on it. “Cruise, we need to talk.”

“Oh? I didn’t know I was your girlfriend.” I laugh like I’m high. Is it the drugs?

“Seriously. The cops stopped by when you were off in Sleepy Land.”

I feel my lips turn upside-down. “Cops?”

“Yeah. They’re trying to figure out why Jake Tyler and his friends assaulted you.”

“Gee, I wonder...”

He clutches the blanket. “You can’t tell them the truth, Cruiser. If Mom and Dad find out about the drugs…if the school finds out...”

Damn, he looks like his head’s about to be chopped off.

“Don’t worry about it, bro. I’ll tell them the same thing I told Principal Cameron and VP Rayer. The guy talked crap about my girl. I punched him. Because he got in trouble, some kid came forward and told them Jake sold him drugs. Jake was pissed at me for getting him expelled from school, so he beat the crap out of me. That cool?”

Rey’s face matches the color of my blanket. Eyes are freaked.

“Rey?”

“I’m sorry, Cruise. I’m a fuckup. A loser. Because of me…” He swallows. “You could have gotten killed.”

I wave my good hand. Sort of. It lies on the bed like a dead log. Damn, I’m weak. “No sweat, bro.”

He stares at the bed. “You’re always bailing me out. Always looking out for me. And all I do is screw up again.”

He’s got that right. But I’ve got no clue what to say.

He swallows again. “When I saw you…” Another swallow. “When we ran to the ER and saw you…” He shakes his head. “I thought you were dead.”

“Must have looked pretty messed up, huh?”

He doesn’t smile.

“I’m good, Rey. It’s gonna take more than Jake and his lame-ass friends to take me down.”

He lifts his eyes. They are filled with tears. He opens his mouth to say something. His lower lip trembles. Mouth shuts.

Lex walks inside. “Sorry to interrupt.” She tucks some black hair behind her ear. Like she’s shy to be here. “It’s late. My mom…she wants me home.”

My eyes move to the window. Huh. It’s dark. For some idiotic reason, I thought it was the afternoon.

I don’t want her to leave. I want her to climb into bed with me. I want to hold her tight. Press my lips to all the sensitive places she loves. Kiss her silly until we both feel nothing but the amazing sensations.

She moves closer. “I wish I could stay.” She tucks some more hair behind her ear. “I’ll come by before school tomorrow.”

I open my palm. Her eyes dip to it. Then back to my face. She steps closer and slides it into mine. Our hands are clutching like we’re each other’s lifelines. Even though I don’t have a lot of strength, I use all my might to raise our interlocked hands to my face. I kiss the back of her palm.

She gives me the sweetest smile in the world.

“Good night, T. Rex,” I tell her.

“Good night, Cruiser. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She heads to the door. Before she leaves, she looks back at me. Gives me another one of those smiles that I love so much. They make her eyes go as small as Rice Krispies.

Rey and I look at each other. Just as he opens his mouth, a nurse comes in and orders him to leave. Says I need to sleep now. Mom and Dad come in to say goodbye. They’ll come by in the morning.

I’m all alone. I close my eyes and think only happy thoughts. Like Lex coming over first thing in the morning.

Lex

“Please, please, please can I go to the hospital with you?” Rosie begs me.

“You’ll see him after school,” Mom tells her.

She folds her arms and pouts.

She and my parents visited Cruiser when he was asleep. She’s dying to see him now that he’s up, but I agree with my mom on this one. I don’t think I’d be able to take her with me and get her to school on time. Since she uses a wheelchair, a special van takes her to and from school. A girl from my dance squad will drop me off at the hospital.

“He’ll probably be up for visitors later today, anyway,” I say to my sister. I play with one of her dark pigtails. “He’ll be so happy to see you.”

“I don’t have to go to school.” Light shines in her eyes. “I can stay at the hospital and keep Cruiser company! I know he’s bored there. When I was in the hosp—” She cuts herself off and stares down at her lap.

Mom and I exchange a glance. We look away.

I stroke Rosie’s head. “You can’t avoid school, Rosie.”

She folds her arms again. “They don’t
have
to throw him a party, you know.”

Rosie’s best friend, Jamie, who is also in a wheelchair, will undergo an experimental procedure in a few days to try to help him to walk again. Ever since my little sister found out about it, she’s been feeling down. She would do anything to walk again. My parents—specifically my dad—thinks they’re chasing a dream, and he doesn’t want to hear about it. Jamie’s class is throwing him a goodbye party because he’s leaving for Phoenix tomorrow. They don’t know how long he’ll be gone, but it’ll probably be a few months. I know Rosie is going to miss him terribly.

I lean forward to give her a kiss, but she pulls away. I rub her head instead. “Have fun, okay?”

She shrugs.

Holly Bedford, captain of the squad, texts me that she’s outside. I wish my mom and Rosie goodbye (Dad already left for work) and head outside. Once I get in the car, Holly says, “How’s Cruiser?”

“He woke up.”

I can see the curiosity in her eyes. The whole school wants to know why Cruiser is in the hospital. I don’t know how much they know, but I’m not saying anything. It’s really no one’s business. Dani told me yesterday that a rumor is going around that he got into a fight with some shady people and got arrested.

Holly is still looking at me, the curiosity practically eating her face off. “Can we get to the hospital, please?” I ask.

She steps on the gas.

The ride there takes about twenty minutes. Holly talks about the dance meet, how she’s seen the routines of other schools and knows we’re going to kick their butts. I love dance and want to listen to her, but right now all I care about is Cruiser. I’m beyond relieved that he’s going to be okay, but I can’t stop the feelings nestling in my stomach. The fear, the dread. He was
attacked
by a group of guys. Is he in trouble? Is Rey?

I know we’re not together…I mean, I hope we’ll be together again. I think. Oh, I don’t know. Every part of me yearns to be with him, but can I accept the bad and the ugly parts of his life? Dani told me it’s easy to accept the good things about a person, but not so much about the bad stuff. When Cruiser and I got together last month, I thought the past was behind us. I admit we pushed unsolved issues under the rug, but for the most part, I truly believed Cruiser’s past wouldn’t follow him. He changed so much in New York, for the better. I was positive that only good things would follow him. No drugs, no sleeping around, no acting out. But I learned that the past has a way of creeping in. Erica Sandford, one of the girls from Cruiser’s past, tracked him down and tried to hook up with him. When I saw them together in Juice Me, when I saw her smash her lips to his and tug him into the storage room, it nearly destroyed me. But I learned that Cruiser was not responsible for that. That didn’t stop me from exploding on him, though. That’s part of the reason I broke up with him—because I couldn’t handle it. I found myself hurting him. He didn’t deserve it. I understood that if I wanted to have a future with him, I had to sort out my issues.

But things are on a whole new level now. Cruiser was
attacked
. I want to be with him, I really,
really
do. But I’m so scared of all the secrets. Am I ready to accept every single part of his life, no matter what?

Yes
, my heart begs.
You love him and need to accept him wholeheartedly
.

But will I just continue to hurt him?

“Um, Lex?”

I raise my head and see we’re outside the hospital. “Oh.” I unfasten my seatbelt and reach for the door handle. “Thanks for the ride.”

“No problem. How will you get to school?”

“I’ll catch the bus.”

She nods. Then her eyes move to the entrance of the hospital. “Hey, Lex, do you think I can come? I want to see how he’s doing.”

I’m not sure if she genuinely cares about his well-being, if she hopes to score some intel, or if she wants to see how Cruiser looks all battered up. It’s no secret he’s one of the hottest guys at school. Maybe she wants to see what he looks like vulnerable. She doesn’t understand that I’m probably one of the only people in the world who knows what Cruiser looks like when he’s raw and open. It’s one of the most amazing sights in the world. Most kids at school see him as a screw up and a man-whore because of his past. They don’t know to look past that and see the guy inside. Of course he has issues—who doesn’t?—but he’s such a sensitive, sweet, and caring guy. I just wish he didn’t have such a history.

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” I tell Holly. “He just woke up last night and I’m pretty sure he’s not open to visitors yet.”

She nods reluctantly.

I take the elevator to the sixth floor. Every hair on my body stands on edge and I hug my upper arms. I really don’t like hospitals. Cruiser’s bed is near the door, and as soon as I step in, I expect to see his whole face light up and a large smile to capture his lips. But I get none of that because he’s sleeping.

I move closer and gaze down at him. He looks so peaceful when he sleeps, so at ease. Like nothing could hurt him. I love watching him sleep. For some reason, it makes me feel closer to him.

“Hello,” a voice says from behind me. I spin around and come face to face with a tall nurse. She’s not the same one who let me stay here after visiting hours. For a second, I think she might yell at me to get out, but her face softens as she smiles. “Are you the beautiful girlfriend Cruiser was referring to?”

“What?”

She laughs softly. “He was awake about half an hour ago and told me not to give him his pain medication because he didn’t want to get drowsy. He said he was waiting for a very special person to arrive. His beautiful girlfriend. I assume he was referring to you?”

I bite my bottom lip as I stare down at Cruiser. He was waiting for me. I should have come earlier.

“I gave him the medication a few minutes ago,” she tells me. “He was in a lot of pain.”

Tears fill my eyes. “I’m sorry.”

She rubs my arm. “Nothing to feel sorry about, honey. He’s a great kid.”

I nod.

She picks up his hand and checks his band. Cruiser jerks, but then goes still.

I glance at the clock on the wall. I have a few minutes before I need to catch the bus. Technically, if I go to school now, I still might make it to dance practice, but I want to see Cruiser before I leave. “Can I wait here for a few minutes?” I ask.

The nurse fixes his blanket. “Sure. I know he’ll be ecstatic to wake up to your face.”

I smile and settle down in the chair next to his bed. The nurse checks some machines before giving me another smile and leaving.

A part of me wants him to wake up because I don’t think I can make it through the day without talking to him. The other part of me wants him to sleep because he’s been through such an ordeal and needs the rest. Gently, I slide my hand into the one that’s curled open over his blanket. His eyes flutter for a few seconds and a soft moan leaves his lips.

I sit here, just watching him sleep. As I study his face, I know in my heart that Cruiser Dalton is the right guy for me. I
know
it. I’ll never love anyone as much as I love him and I will never want to spend my life with anyone but him. I am willing and ready to accept the ugly parts of his life. I
need
to. Whatever happens, we’ll have each other. Through thick and thin.

“Lex,” he murmurs.

My body perks up. Cruiser’s fingers move in my hand. I hope I didn’t wake him.

“My T. Rex.” His eyes slowly open. When he sees it’s me, his whole face lights up. “I knew you’d come.” His fingers move again. “I knew it was your hand. So soft.”

“Did I wake you? I’m sorry.”

He shakes his head as his eyes flutter closed. “The nurse…she gave me the meds. Told her not to.”

I gently brush some hair off his forehead. “I’m sorry you’re in a lot of pain.”

“It’s okay, darlin’. I’m so…glad you’re here.”

“Me, too.”

He gives me another smile, though it looks painful. A lot of the swelling on his face has gone down, but it’s still pretty bad. I want to ask him so many questions. Why did those jerks attack him? Is he constantly going to be threatened by them or can he put this behind him? And what about…us? Can there be an us? But now’s not the right time. All that matters is that he’s alive and well and that our hands are clasped together.

“Ditch school,” he says, his voice sleepy. “Stay with me all day.”

“How tempting.”

“Mmm.”

I reluctantly glance at the clock again. I need to get going or else I’ll be late. “Cruiser…”

He puts his finger on his lips. Then he taps them. Closing his eyes, he lifts his finger off his lips and motions for me to come closer. Then he taps his lips again. I look at the door to make sure the nurses aren’t around before standing. With my heart hammering in my chest, I move closer to him and bend over. I hear him intake a breath as I move my mouth closer to his. His lips part. Slowly, I lower my mouth to his.

I mean to give him a quick peck on the lips because his face is all bruised up and I don’t want to hurt him. But Cruiser seems to have another idea. He captures my bottom lip in his teeth, forcing them to remain on his. When he knows I’m not going anywhere, his lips start moving over mine, first slow and gentle and then harder, faster. I feel my entire body melt at the familiar, amazing touch. I’ve missed this so, so much. A few days ago, I didn’t know if I’d ever feel his lips on mine again. My body begs to push myself closer to him, to meld into him, touch every part of him. But he’s lying in a hospital bed.

“No,” Cruiser whispers when I start to pull away.

I lean my forehead against his. “You’re hurt.”

“I need you.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Cruiser. I’m going to stay here for as long as you need. Well, except for school.”

A soft chuckle rumbles in his chest. “Fuck school.”

“I wish.” I lift myself off him and look into his eyes. There are so many emotions buried in there, but the one that stands out most is the love he has for me. I see it so strongly, as though it has a huge arrow pointing to itself. “I’ll come by as soon as school is over. I promise.”

He moves his hand until it takes hold of mine. “I’ll count down the minutes.”

Leaning forward, I give him a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving. As soon as I’m down the hall, a sudden chill passes through me. Now that I’m not with Cruiser anymore, I feel empty. It’s like he and I are on a whole new level in our relationship. We’re not together—yet—but we’re not strangers, either. And we’re more than just friends. It sucks that Cruiser getting into an accident caused a change in our relationship. I wish I wouldn’t have given up on us. I wish I would have rushed over to fix things up with him, just as he was doing when he got attacked.

The bus ride is long and annoying. It’s moments like these where I wish I had a license. Maybe one day. When I get off and enter the school, I nearly collide with Coach Lewis. I cringe when I see the look on her face.

“Lex Woods.”

I swallow. “Yeah, Coach?”

She folds her arms over her chest. “Where were we on this fine morning?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to miss practice. My boyfriend is in the hospital and—”

“Is he on his death bed?”

“What? No, but—”

“Then there’s absolutely no reason for you to skip practice. You’re letting me down, you’re letting your teammates down, but more importantly, you’re letting yourself down. The meet is only a week away.”

My gaze drops to my shoes. “I know. I’m sorry.”

She doesn’t say anything. I look at her. She doesn’t have a pissed-off expression on her face anymore. Her eyes are soft. She steps closer to me, putting a hand on my arm. “Lex, you never know who might show up at a meet. You don’t want to lose your chance at the scholarship.”

I know I need the scholarship—it’s the only way for me to attend Juilliard. But when I found out Cruiser was in the hospital, I felt like my world was coming to an end. Nothing else mattered but him. But I realize now how unhealthy I’ve been acting. I can’t sacrifice the important things in my life. Cruiser is the most important part of it, but I have a lot of other important parts, too. Like dance and my family and friends.