Forevermore (16 page)

When I reached the table I didn’t even have time to say hi before Briony wrapped me in her arms. “It’s so good to see you, sweetie.”

I squeezed her hard, pouring every minute I’d missed her into the hug. She felt exactly the same, like safety and warmth and home all in one, and she smelled the same, like trees in the woods where we’d take hikes sometimes. Soft and strong and a world champion hugger.

Too soon she let go, but it was to hold her hand out to my aunt. “Hello, Nell, it’s nice to meet you in person.”

Caleb reached over and gave me a hug that was a series of gentle back slaps. He talked a mile a minute, so fast that I could barely understand him. I was still dazed from the surprise and missed most of what he was saying.

Over his shoulder, I saw M step forward and shake Aunt Nell’s hand. My eyes widened at the sight. She didn’t shake peoples’ hands, not unless she had to. My principal, my social worker, my teacher, but she’d let Briony do all the other greeting for them.

“Nice to meet you both,” Briony was telling Paige and Dillon as M came over to me.

When she leaned down and hugged me, tears pushed at my eyes. I didn’t want them to see how sad I’d been and how much I’d missed them, so I blinked them away. It wouldn’t be a nice thing to do to Aunt Nell, either. I just concentrated on how good it felt to be in M’s arms again. Briony was all safety and warmth in her hugs. M gave reassurance that everything would be okay in hers. She smelled like clean linen fresh from the dryer. A little leaner than Briony, she always felt more strong than soft, but I loved her hugs just as much.

“Hi, Olivia. We’ve missed you so much.”

I nodded my head against her shoulder and finally released her. I didn’t want to get too used to these hugs again. It had taken me weeks before I stopped remembering how they felt every night.

Briony ran her fingers over my hair while I was in M’s embrace. She turned to gesture for everyone to take a seat around the table. “We’re so glad you all could make it today. We’ve been looking forward to this for weeks.”

I jerked back in surprise. They’d been planning this get together for weeks? Briony must have caught my shock because her smile faltered.

“Your aunt must be really good at keeping surprises, huh?” she said to me before telling everyone, “I was always lousy at it. Caleb says he can find any present I try to hide the second I hide it.”

I felt numb as Caleb pulled me into a seat next to him. He bumped my shoulder and said hello again. He looked happy, like he pretty much always looked. He looked tan, too. He’d spent a lot of time outside this summer. I bet Hank and Eden looked the same way. It suddenly became real how different my summer was from the one we’d planned.

After we ordered, Briony and M made small talk with my aunt and her friends. I kept watching Aunt Nell, feeling her nerves from beside me. She was halfway through her meal before she finally started to relax. Briony was good at getting people to talk.

“Hey, I just realized who you are.” Dillon was looking directly at M. She stiffened in her chair but kept an open smile on her face. “You taught that ops management class I took at UVA one summer. That was a killer class. Paige, you remember me talking about that. I loved that class. You were great.”

“Oh, thanks. I’m glad you liked it,” M responded quietly. This wasn’t the first time we’d run into former students. She always seemed amazed that they’d remember her.

Aunt Nell shot him a look like he’d just jumped on M’s side. Why was she upset with him? Were there sides here?

“Are you visiting the area or just passing through?” Paige asked when Aunt Nell’s glare cut Dillon off.

“We’re headed up to Vermont to visit my parents,” Briony told her. “Flying out of Dulles.”

“We’re a bit out of the way here,” Paige pointed out.

Briony smiled at her then looked at me. “It’s not too far for a visit with this one. We’re so happy to see you, Livy.”

I nodded and smiled. My throat was tight. With the move to my aunt’s and the breakup with Ian, I’d forgotten about the trip to see Caleb’s grandparents and aunts. Their plan was to get permission from my social worker so I could go with them. They couldn’t get it for Christmas because my social worker had been sick and her replacement rejected the request. I thought they’d go anyway because they always went home at Christmas, but they didn’t. And since Briony and Caleb weren’t coming to them, her whole family came to us. That was a way cool thing to do, and everyone was super nice to me. I’d hoped to get to see them again this summer.

“When does school start here?” Caleb asked me.

I frowned and looked at my aunt. I didn’t know. I didn’t even know what school I was going to be in. It was still a month away, but I wanted to know now.

“We’re still deciding on a place to live,” Aunt Nell said. “We’ll know as soon as we find a place.”

Briony glanced at M with worry in her eyes. “Probably after labor day like yours, Caleb.”

“Finding apartments is never fun, especially in a city,” M offered.

“We’re looking for a big enough place for all of us,” Aunt Nell said. “We’re trying to find the best place, right, Livy?”

I nodded and tried to smile, but I was afraid I might tear up if I did. None of the places we looked at last weekend were good. Not one even had a den or a living room big enough for a pullout couch for me to sleep on. I tried not to think about my beautiful room at Briony and M’s. I tried to not think about how I didn’t have to ask permission to get a snack or check to make sure which food in the fridge was ours and which was Paige’s. I tried not to think about how I’d nearly wet my pants several mornings because one of them was hogging the one and only bathroom. It wouldn’t do me any good to remember that Briony and M treated me just like my mom had, not as an afterthought.

Briony asked Aunt Nell about her work again. That seemed to fill in the rest of the lunch. I felt like my time with them was slipping away, but there wasn’t anything I could do to stop it.

We all walked outside together. Briony thanked them again for agreeing to the lunch. “We’re going to the Smithsonian tomorrow. We’d love to have you all join us.”

My hopes soared. I didn’t care if we’d watch grass grow together as long as I got to see them again.

“I don’t think so, but thank you,” Aunt Nell crushed my hopes in a sentence.

“Would you like to join us for dinner and a movie tomorrow night? We’re on a plane first thing Monday morning. It would be so great to spend more time with Liv.”

Aunt Nell looked at Paige for a moment. I couldn’t tell what they were thinking and crossed my fingers that she’d agree. I loved museums and having Caleb there with me would be awesome. Briony and M would make it fun and interesting, but my aunt wouldn’t be into that. She never talked about going to museums for fun. She and Paige liked shopping and dancing for fun.

Aunt Nell tilted her chin up and said, “Maybe when you come back from Vermont.”

My eyes widened. They were coming back? Here?

Briony’s face split into a wide smile. “That sounds great, Nell. Thank you. We’ve missed your niece so much.”

Aunt Nell’s arm wrapped around me again. “She’s pretty great.”

My heart pumped harder. That was the first time Aunt Nell spoke like she was happy to have me around. Since ditching Ian, she hadn’t been full of compliments for anyone.

“She’s the best,” Caleb agreed and my aunt smiled. I think she was starting to like him.

“We won’t keep you. If you change your mind about dinner or the movie tomorrow, you have our number.” Briony turned to me and swooped in for another hug. “Good to see you, sweetie. You’ve been having fun with your aunt, I can tell.”

I had to hide my surprise. I thought she could tell that I hadn’t been having fun living here. Both she and M were always good at telling when Caleb and I weren’t really into something. I guess I should be glad she didn’t know that I desperately wished I never had to leave their home. That for the first time since my mom died, I didn’t think of it as their home. I thought of it as my home.

Caleb hugged me next. “It’s going to be so boring with just the ‘rents tomorrow.” I laughed because I knew he was just acting tough. He loved hanging out with his mom and stepmom.

M hugged me. “It was wonderful to see you. Text or call whenever you can. We miss talking to you. Nell, it was great to meet you. You too, Paige, and Dillon, nice to see you again.”

“Same here, Professor D.” He called her by what she was known at school. Paige elbowed him but kept smiling at them.

“If we don’t hear from you tomorrow, we’ll call before our flight back,” Briony told Nell.

She shook her hand and we watched them head to M’s car. They turned and waved as they piled in. It was crazy, but I missed them already.

“I can’t believe you were living with Professor D. She was the best prof I’ve ever had.”

“She was that good?” Aunt Nell asked him.

“She’s like a mentor, a story teller, and teacher all wrapped up into one. Bet she was fun at home?” he asked me.

“She was,” I said before I lost my nerve and thought that Aunt Nell might get upset to hear that I had a good time living there.

“You liked living with them? You didn’t mind living with strangers?” Paige asked.

What was I supposed to say? Paige was a stranger, but I was living with her. “They made me feel welcome right away. No other house did that. They asked me if I wanted to stay with them, too. None of the other families asked.”

“And you didn’t mind that they’re, you know, gay?” Aunt Nell asked.

I frowned, thinking that was a stupid question. Them being gay had nothing to do with me. “They acted like any of the other couples I stayed with, except they actually love each other and get along. All the other families fought a lot and didn’t really seem like they loved each other anymore.”

“But do they try to, you know, get you to like girls? You don’t, do you?” Aunt Nell said, shooting a glance at her friend.

“They wouldn’t do that. That’s—” I cut myself off before I insulted her by saying it was a stupid thing to say. Stupid that she thought someone could make that happen and stupid that she thought Briony or M would force me to like girls. “I’m not into stuff like that anyway.”

“But you will be. Boy crazy, I mean, you should be. I was at your age, so was your mom.”

I frowned. Either she didn’t know my mom very well or she was lying. My mom told me that she hadn’t kissed a boy until she was fifteen. She wasn’t even interested until the guy who was my father wanted to date her. She said that her mom never told her anything about sex, so when it happened, she wasn’t prepared. That was the reason she’d explained sex to me not long before she died. She wanted me to be aware and prepared. But she always made a big deal out of telling me that she wanted me even if I hadn’t been planned. Even if having me meant her family turned their backs on her. I never doubted that.

Aunt Nell pressed her lips together, shooting another glance at Paige.

“They do seem really together, Nell.”

“I know Professor D is,” Dillon put in.

“Maybe,” was all Aunt Nell would agree to.

M / 25

Briony’s mother, Susan, was currently arguing with two of the grandkids over naptime. The two littlest in the litter still had to endure the torture of a nap while all the other grandkids got to continue playing together. What amazed me the most was that these two weren’t actually her grandkids. They were Allison’s, Caleb’s other grandmother, but that didn’t matter around here. Briony called it the Vermont compound. Both sets of grandparents lived a few blocks away from each other, and Caleb’s two aunts were within five minutes of Susan’s. Whenever Caleb came back to town, all the grandchildren got together at every location, no matter the relation.

Tomorrow the kids would be going to Allison’s house. Three of the kids were still in day camp every day, but the rest of the kids would spend the last few weeks of summer bouncing from one house to the next in the compound. In the eight days we’d been here, Briony and I hosted the kids at the hotel pool almost every day. It wasn’t quite the relaxing getaway we’d hoped for, but so far I didn’t mind.

We were leaving tomorrow. Nine days was enough for Briony and more than enough for me. Caleb would stay with his grandparents until school started, but Briony and I usually took the rest of the summer for a short vacation and some alone time at home. This year, we were going to Boston so Briony could show me around her old haunts.

Arms slid around my middle from behind me. Instantly I recognized the scent and feel of Briony. Three years ago I would have incapacitated anyone who got this close to me, much less touched me. Today, touch was still hard for me, still painful from anyone other than my family. I could steel myself for these trips when Briony’s whole family, especially the kids, would all hug, touch, poke, prod, push, pull, and grab me. Knowing they meant each touch with care, it was easier to tolerate. It seemed to get easier and easier each year. I wondered if the pain would fade completely after enough of these visits. It had with Briony and Caleb and Olivia.

“Hi, sexy,” Briony whispered and kissed the spot just below my ear. “Ready to skip town yet?”

I chuckled. I knew she didn’t mean right now, but for a fleeting moment, the idea appealed. Poor Susan. She was losing the naptime battle. “I know we planned to leave, but if you wanted to stay, it’s not like we don’t have a flexible schedule.”

Briony sighed, probably both happy that I was willing to stay near her family and depressed that part of the reason we had a flexible schedule was because Olivia was with her aunt now. “We can always come back and pick Caleb up, but I’m okay with leaving tomorrow.”

I nodded, leaning back into her embrace. We’d help Susan in a moment, but for now I’d just stand here until the moment was up. Playing the director of fun over the last week helped ease the pain of the reopened wound at seeing Olivia and not getting the most encouraging vibe from her aunt on the visit.

As petty as it seemed, I’d hoped that we’d find Nell more distracted and less wary. I didn’t think she’d figured out that we were angling for more than just a day or two of visits with her niece. Briony thought she might have caught on. There were certainly enough secret looks between Nell and Paige.