Forgetting Yesterday (5 page)

“You did do something,” I firmly told her. “You gave me a way out. You gave me somewhere to go.”

She didn’t look convinced. “It’s nagged at me, these last few months. And yet, I didn’t track you down. I had my suspicions and I did nothing.”

I tried to shrug her off. “You know what? It’s over. It’s done. It’s in the past. There’s nothing that can be done about it now. And to be totally honest, all I really want to do is forget about it.”

She looked ready to argue again but she must’ve noted how much this conversation was exhausting me. “Okay,” she finally said. “I just hope someday soon you find someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated.”

I could only nod. I wanted that kind of relationship.

How had I turned into that person? The kind of person who tolerated such a volatile relationship? I didn’t know.

He’d been a part of
my life for nearly two years. I had loved him, even if it had been a twisted, dependant, unhealthy kind of love. I had been sure at one point that we’d had a future together. We’d talked about it. Planned it. I was sure he had loved me, in his own way. But things had changed. He had changed. Or maybe it was just
me
that changed. Regardless, he was out of my life now and I was starting over.

“I’ve known for a while that I needed to leave him. It was just that I was so close to being done with school. I’d put up with him for so long, what were a few more months? I know my attitude toward him changed though. We were over. In my head and my heart, anyway, we were over. He could tell.” I paused, thinking about the last few months. The tension in our apartment had been almost unbearable. “I was afraid if I moved out before graduation, it would only make things worse. I was afraid he’d show up on campus, or track me down somewhere. That’s why I waited until I could make a clean break and just get away. I didn’t want to put myself in a position where there could be confrontations. Not if I didn’t have to. So I just tried to pretend like everything was okay as I counted down the days. The day after graduation, the day I got my degree, I left. And I came here.”

“You’re sure he doesn’t know where you are?”

I shook my head, wishing she would stop worrying. “I don’t know how he possibly could know.”

“
Good,” Claire said firmly.

“But I made it clear that we’ve been over for a long time. Even if he didn’t want to hear it, he had to know it was true,” I said quietly. “We were just no good for each other.”

She rolled her bottom lip through her teeth before saying, “I’m so glad that you see that. I’m sure you’ll find a job. I hope you’ll fall in love with the town. You just wait and see. Everything is going to fall into place. I’m sure of it.”

She raised her nearly empty wine glass up to my nearly empty wine glass. We
both smiled, relieved to be moving on from the conversation at hand.

“Here’s to hoping,” I said.

“And old friendships and fresh starts,” she added.

We clinked our glasses together and though her words were cheesy, I believed every word.

I
gazed at my face in the mirror as I pulled my long, blond hair back. It was Thursday. The bruising was better. Not gone, but better. I let out a sigh as I let my hair fall down around my shoulders again. My face looked pale making my gray eyes look a little dreary.

I
’d spent all of Tuesday and Wednesday tucked safely inside of the house. I’d been bored out of my mind.  Alex had knocked at the door each morning to let me know he’d arrived. He’d done the same in the evenings with an update for me to pass along to Claire. Other than that, I’d been on my own.

I
’d worked my way through a small stack of movies and tried to read an old romance novel that Claire had tucked away. It hadn’t held my interest.

After that,
I’d decided to update and tweak my resume as I furthered my job search. There were a few possibilities in nearby towns. By that afternoon, I was feeling somewhat better about my prospects. Not great, but better. I had even submitted a few electronic applications.

As for try
ing to do anything else, well, I was distracted constantly by the noise on the roof. Alex had brought a small crew with him, two other workers. I could’ve sworn I heard every footstep they took. I knew they were in a hurry to finish up, before the rain came in.

I
was glad to have them finishing, not so happy about the rain. I wanted to spend some time out in the sun but I felt a little too self-conscious to hang out in the yard with a roof full of guys. To kill some time, I decided to make something for lunch. Claire had gone shopping the night before, something I had told her I’d be happy to take over soon. I was sure that even if I got a job, Claire’s work schedule would always be busier than mine.

After t
hree days of canned soup for lunch, I decided to make calzones. Not only did they sound good, it would take me awhile and fill up my afternoon a bit. That was something I desperately wanted to do. I pulled out the ingredients and set to work.

The
y were already in the oven and I was cleaning up the ensuing mess when the doorbell chimes rang throughout the house. It only made sense that it was Alex. Again. I wiped my hands off on the kitchen towel before I hurried to the door. I noticed then that the rain had finally hit.

As
I swung the door open, I saw his workers leaving. Alex was standing on the steps, barely sheltered from the downpour by the overhang.

“Come on in,”
I ordered.

As he stepped inside he said, “We finished up. If you could just let
Claire know we’ll come back tomorrow, hopefully when it’s drier, to do some clean up. I thought we’d be able to get everything picked up, but we didn’t. No sense doing it in this downpour. Luckily, the roof itself is done.”

“Great. She’ll be happy to hear that. I’ll tell her you’ll be back tomorrow, t
hough,” I agreed. I didn’t want to think about why
I
wasn’t all that excited by the news that the roof was done. I knew I should be. Only minutes before I was telling myself I couldn’t wait to have the house to myself.

I noticed
his eyes dart curiously toward the kitchen. “Baking again?” he asked with a small smirk.

“I just made
calzones. Do you want to stay for lunch?” The offer came before I really thought it through.

He made a sound of indecision and then he laughed, his brown eyes crinkling at the corners and sparkling as he did so. “I shouldn’t. I didn’t knock on the door so you’d feed me again.”

“It’s fine. I made plenty and I really don’t mind,” I said as I motioned for him to come in. “It’s lunch time and you’ve been here for hours. You must be hungry.”

“
I’m always hungry. So, yeah, if you insist,” he joked. “It sure beats eating another cold ham sandwich. Besides, with this rain, it looks like I’ll be taking the afternoon off.”

“Is that goin
g to put you behind schedule?” I asked as he followed me into the kitchen. I opened the oven door to check on lunch. They needed a few more minutes.

“Nah,” he said. “Since we had a cancellation and we got this roof done, we’re actually a little bit ahead of schedule. Not that it’ll stay that way, it never does. But for now, we’re good.”

He dropped himself onto a bar stool as I pulled out what I needed to serve the meal. I was suddenly wondering what I’d been thinking asking him in. Was it out of line? He didn’t seem to mind. He could’ve said no, made some kind of excuse or simply politely declined. But he hadn’t and I was glad.

Honestl
y, I’m dying for some company
, I justified. I wasn’t used to being cooped up for days on end. Not that my life prior had been full of excitement but between classes, Jason, and working, at least I’d been busy.

“S
mells good,” he said, pulling me back from my mental debate.

“Thanks, they’ll be just a few
more minutes. Is root beer okay? That or milk,” I said as I poked my head into the fridge.

“A
root beer sounds good,” he decided. “I don’t remember the last time I had one.”

I
took out a can for each of us and then I leaned against the counter, close to the oven so I could check them in a few more minutes.

“Are you getting all settled in?”
Alex wondered.

“Yeah,”
I said, nodding. “It really didn’t take too long.”

“So how do you
know Claire?” he asked as he leaned forward on his elbows.

I
explained to him that I’d known Claire most of my life. That she had been my closest friend for as long as I could remember. But that we’d gone our separate ways for college.

“Where did you go to school?” he asked.

“Haden University,” I replied.

“
Haden, huh?” he asked nodding as he took it in. Haden was located in Bedford, which was roughly three times the size of Grafton. “So what do you think of Grafton? Too small for you? Or are you enjoying it so far?”

“I haven’t seen much of it yet,”
I admitted. I did
not
admit that all I’d seen so far was the main road, coming in during the middle of the night. Nor did I explain that I had yet to leave Claire’s house at all. “But Claire seems to love it here.”

“It’s a nice little town. I prefer it to the city life, myself,” he said.

“I can’t wait to see more of it,” I honestly told him as I turned to take the calzones out. Actually, I realized that maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to go out and just drive around, become familiar with the place. Do a little exploring on my own. I didn’t actually have to go inside anywhere.

“I take it you haven’t been up to the falls yet, then?” he asked as
I readied our plates.

I
shook my head as I slid a plate of food across the countertop to him. I took my own plate and walked around the bar, settling myself on the stool next to him.

“No,”
I agreed. “I haven’t. In fact, I’ve never seen
any
waterfall before. I’ll mention it to Claire. Maybe she can show me where they are.”

Alex
looked surprised by my admission. There were only a few waterfalls within a reasonable driving distance. They were all at the northern tip of the state. This was the first time I’d been this far north.

“You should
definitely check them out. There’s a trail through the state park that leads up to them. In the summer they’re a huge tourist attraction,” he told me before taking a bite. “Mmmm,” he said around a mouthful. “This is amazing.”

I
felt a blush spread across my cheeks. It was just a simple calzone but the crust was homemade and I was sure that made all the difference. “Thanks. I like to cook. My mom was an amazing cook. I spent a lot of time in the kitchen growing up.”

His expression turned concerned. “Was?”

I nodded. “Yeah. She passed away right before Christmas. Breast cancer.”

“Oh,” he said. “I’m really sorry to hear that.”

Before I had to summon a response to that, the kitchen phone rang.

It was next to
Alex. He plucked it off the wall and handed it to me. It was Claire.

She greeted
me and then got straight to the point.

“Do you mind if I skip out on dinner tonight?” she asked
. “The weather is supposed to clear up in a bit. Sean was asked to fill in tonight on the men’s softball league. He asked if I’d come along. You’re welcome to join us. It should be fun. We can introduce you to some people.”

“Um—”
I said, hesitantly. Any other day, I would likely have agreed. I just didn’t feel up to it quite yet. “Maybe next time? But I don’t mind if you go. I’ll find something to do around here to keep myself busy. And before you ask, yes, I’m sure,” I said with a smile.

“Okay,”
Claire agreed. “I’m probably just going to stay over at his house. If you don’t mind?”

I laughed
as I pushed my food around with my fork. “No. I don’t mind. You don’t need to babysit me,” I teased.

We hung up and I
handed the phone to Alex who returned it to its spot on the wall.

“Plans got cancelled?”
he wondered.

I shook my
head. “Not really. I mean, we didn’t really have plans. Claire was just letting me know she won’t be home tonight.”

“So what are
you
up to tonight?” he wondered. He was looking at me with raised eyebrows.

I
laughed. “Absolutely nothing.”

“Oh,” he said as he glanced outside. He took a few bites and then after a few moments, glanced outside again. “Do you want to go do something?”

His question caught me off guard. Fortunately, I’d just taken a bite. I took a moment to finish chewing and then reached for my root beer, stalling.

“It was just a thought,” he said with a shrug. “The rain has already let up.” He was right. It had hit hard and fast and already seemed to be phasi
ng out. “But it’ll be too wet for me to get any work done.” He made a disappointed face. “I guess I could get caught up on paperwork. I always have paperwork to do. But there’s no fun in that,” he said, smiling again.

“I don’t know,”
I hesitated, then grimaced and decided to just admit the truth. “I don’t really want to go anywhere looking like this.” He looked like he was going to argue so I cut him off. “I mean, I guess I could try putting some make up on. See how well it covers up…”

“How about…” H
e looked like he was thinking. “What if I take you somewhere where there might not be a lot of people? If you really do want to see the waterfalls I can take you up there. Sometimes it can be packed on the weekends or even in the evenings. But right now, especially after a rain on a work day, it would probably be pretty quiet.”

I
made a face, pretending I had to mull it over.

He grinned at
me, assuming he had me. He nearly did. A small part of me wondered if this was a bad idea. I barely knew him. I’d just gotten out of a bad relationship. On the other hand, Claire had affirmed he seemed to be a pretty decent guy. The few encounters I’d had with him had left me thinking the same thing. But most of all, it wasn’t as if he’d asked me on a date. It was just an afternoon outing. With a friend? Maybe I could consider him a friend. I could find absolutely nothing wrong with making new friends in a new town.

“There’s a new
coffee shop in town. Never been there but I heard it’s the new hot thing around here. Iced coffee drinks, or whatever, seem to be a big hit. I’ll buy you one,” he threw in before taking another bite of his lunch.

“Oh, wow,”
I said with a laugh. “I see how you are. You like to play dirty.”

“Sometimes,” he said with a smirk. “Does that mean I win?”

“Yeah,” I said still laughing. “I guess you win.”

*******

“Let me help you,” Alex said as he held out his hand.

I
took it. The rocks were slippery. I hadn’t known what I was in for when I’d slipped into a pair of sandals. Luckily, Alex had his work boots on. Traversing up the rain-slickened rocks wasn’t nearly as difficult for him.

“Sorry,” he said. “I should’ve warned you. I just didn’t think of it. Or,” he said sheepishly, “
we could’ve taken the other path. It’s definitely easier. This one, it’s more private. Only the locals really use it. The view is better.”

“This is fine,”
I assured him. “As long as you don’t mind making sure I don’t fall on my ass.”

He laughed at that. “Not at all,” he said as he held
my hand firmly and led the way.

We
were walking on a trail through the woods. It wasn’t the clear cut, paved path that took off from the parking lot. This one had veered off and was a little worn path with knee-high foliage sprouting up along the sides. We were headed uphill and every now and again, there would be a rocky area that we had to climb over.