Forgive Me (11 page)

“Oh,” said James.

“And another thing, divorce takes people away.”

“I'm sorry about Dr. Faulk's death.”

“I don't mean that. I used to play with Nicolette all the time, but after Mom married her Dad, we couldn't talk anymore. Even though she's a girl, I liked her.”

“Son, I made a lot of mistakes. If your mom and I don't get together again, I plan to be here for you. I love you, Jerry, and I'm not going anywhere.”

“What about Ms. Shan?”

“We had a long talk, and she knows I'd rather be with you and your mom.”

“Is she going to do something crazy like the other lady Grandma told Ms. Ann about?”

If James lived to be two-hundred years old, he'd always regret hooking up with Tawatha Gipson. She was more than a thorn in his side; the thought of her made his stomach flip. He should have known Darnella would mention Tawatha whenever she disparaged him to her friends.

“That's in the past, and I'd rather not talk about it, Jerry.”

“Did she really kill her kids to be with you?”

“Jerry, I won't discuss that with you. Now wipe the sauce off your mouth and finish your food.”

“But Dad—”

James gave Jeremiah a stern look and he backed down. They ate
in silence as both checked out the surroundings of the home. Across from them was a beautiful living room filled with stylish, mahogany furniture, a huge flat screen, and a decorative layout resembling Aruba's style. James refocused his attention back to the kitchen and marveled at the granite countertops buffed to a high sheen.

“May I watch television when I'm done eating?”

“After we clean up our mess. I'll even join you. How 'bout some sports?”

“That's fine, but I can only watch an hour of TV. Great-Grandma Maxie makes sure I do my homework on Saturdays so I'm not behind or rushing on Sundays.”

“What else does she make you do?”

“She taught me how to cook a few things. I know how to wash and fold clothes, and I get paid to cut the grass. She said that lean time is clean time, and I can't be lazy around her.”

“Wow, that's a lot!”

“Yea, she said a man needs to be independent.”

“She's right.”

“I'm gonna be independent because I never want to get married.”

“You say that now, but your mind will change when you get older.”

“No way! All I want is a little sister to play with.”

James looked at his son, realizing the odds of having another baby with Aruba were slim to none. He didn't want to disappoint him, so he offered, “Jerry, I'll see what I can do about that, okay?”

T
he cupcakes two weeks ago were an epic fail,
thought Yvette. She joined Victoria in the last phase of the thirty-minute circuit at their neighborhood Planet Fitness. Victoria ditched her guest pass at the CNN fitness center after breaking up with Emory. Yvette had a better understanding of Victoria's pain, so she decided to
show
her friendliness instead of
telling
her what it meant. Victoria acted as if she'd been the only woman who'd been betrayed by another woman.
Everyone gets war wounds on the friendship path; learn the lesson and keep going,
Yvette thought. Still, Yvette couldn't imagine sharing clothes, secrets, playdates, or contacts with someone who actually had the nerve to run off with the man. It was one thing to genuinely admire someone else's relationship, but to actually end up with a Tiffany ring? Well, that was something else.

“So, what do you want to do now?” Yvette asked. She sipped water and waited for Victoria to get up from the workout bench.

“I can't do anything until you help me up,” said Victoria. Exhausted, she strained to sit up but couldn't move.

Yvette pulled her up from the bench and helped Victoria stand. Victoria's face looked like boiled ham, and she struggled to breathe. She wouldn't mention the noticeable weight gain since the night of the party.

“I was about to suggest the treadmill, but I think we've done enough for the day.”

“I need to walk.”

“Are you sure?”

“Look at me. What do you think?” Victoria pinched her rolls of fat together. “Something has to give.”

“Okay. Let's give nature a shot. I have a little business to do later in Hampton, so let's walk at McCurry State Park. Afterward, we can have smoothies—no fattening foods, only cool drinks.”

“Sounds good. I haven't walked outside since…” Victoria turned away from Yvette.

“Since when?” Yvette asked.

“Aruba and I used to walk in the park all the time in Indianapolis.”

“So you're mourning Winston, Emory, and Aruba?”

“That's not fair, Yvette. I've been through a lot.”

“Join the hurt club! Everyone's experienced
something
painful. It pains me right now to see you giving Aruba so much power over your life and emotions. She doesn't deserve that much energy,” Yvette snapped. She didn't mean to give such a terse response, but Aruba was renting too much space in Victoria's head, and someone needed to tell her. If she had to be the designated informant, so be it.

Victoria's chest heaved and tears streamed. “You didn't have to be so direct!”

“Yes, I did. You can hate me all you want, but friends don't let friends go around looking like Negro spirituals.” Yvette pretended to hold a microphone. She deepened her voice and sang, “Nobody knows the trouble I seen …”

“Stop it, Yvette!”

She switched to an English timbre. “Nobody knows my sorrows.”

“You win! I'll go walking with you. Anything. Just stop embarrassing us!”

Yvette exited Planet Fitness, her voice rising as she sang, “Sometimes I'm up, sometimes I'm down, sometimes I'm almost to the ground.”

Yvette drew attention now, and Victoria pushed her back playfully. Victoria laughed. It was deep-in-the-belly guffaw Yvette had never heard.

“Is my singing what you needed to break your funky spell?” Yvette asked.

Victoria continued to laugh as they sat in Yvette's car. Pleased her plan was working, Yvette enjoyed seeing her friend smile. Even if Victoria didn't accept the olive branch she extended, she'd walk away knowing she had put forth the effort of genuine friendship with her.

“So how far are we riding?” Victoria asked after catching her breath.

“Sit back and enjoy the ride.”

Yvette hit I-75 and turned off her music. She wanted no distractions as they rode to the park.

“I was too abrasive earlier. I feel you're trapped by all the sadness you've experienced. Life gets better—if you're open to it.”

“What makes you think I'm not open?”

Yvette pursed her lips and gave Victoria a quick glance. She didn't want to veer off the road, but part of her wanted to pull alongside the road and recite the list of slights she'd endured. She kept driving.

“Let's see. You're Ft. Knox secretive about your life.”

“It's not good to tell people your personal business.”

“You clam up when anyone mentions, well, mentioned, your relationship with Emory.”

“I wanted to keep things between us sacred.”

“You
really
don't like women, except your Aunt Marguerite. I'm still trying to figure out how you feel about your mother.”
I'm being
too forward. Let me soften up.

“I wouldn't say I don't like women. It's like I told you when you stopped by with Marguerite, the betrayal with Aruba was so strong I haven't recovered. My whole life was turned upside down because of one person.”

“Turned upside down, yes, but not over. Are you telling me you plan to stop living because of Aruba…” Yvette snapped her finger. “What's her last name?”

“Dixon. Aruba Dixon. Wow, I guess I should say Faulk since she married my ex.”

“Her last name doesn't matter. I wanted you to say her full name to make her real. If you could see her right now, what would you say to her?”

“I wouldn't say a word. I'd punch her in her face and beat her within an inch of her life.”

“Really? You're so sensitive that you don't kill bugs, so I know that's not true.” Yvette thought of another way to broach the subject. “Pretend I'm her. What would you say to me if I were Aruba?”

Victoria recalled her rehearsed speech. “Why? Why did you take the time to befriend me if you knew you were up to no good?”

“If I said I'm sorry, would you forgive me?”

“I don't know. That's a tall order.”

“At least you didn't say no. We're making progress.”

“Why is this so important to you anyway? You have a wonderful husband and a good marriage, so why do I matter to you?”

“Because I
was
you some years ago.”

“Not Carl?”

Yvette shook her head vigorously. “No, Carl Hankerson is the
love of my life! I wouldn't have been with him, though, if I'd allowed bitterness to get the best of me.”

“What happened?”

Yvette veered to the right and got off on Exit 235 toward Griffin, Georgia. She stayed in the right lane and clutched the wheel tighter. “I was a senior in college planning my wedding. I am not minimizing what happened to you, and I know a dating relationship is different than marriage, but back then, I couldn't imagine my life without David Rinks. We grew up together. He was my high school sweetheart, and all I could see was him.”

“David Rinks that attends our church?”

“The one and only. We were set to wed in July, my senior year. He graduated a year before I did and moved to New York for a job with IBM. I didn't think twice when he thwarted my attempts to visit him. He told me to concentrate on getting out of school so we could be together. His mother and sister visited me at my dorm in Fort Valley, Georgia, and every Sunday, I enjoyed a soul food feast at their house.

“One Tuesday, I stopped by midweek, unannounced, to see my A-M-I-L—”

“A-M-I-L?”

“Almost mother-in-law. She stood at the door, acting as if we were strangers. I had photos of mother-in-law dresses for her; my mother insisted she finalize her choice so they'd match. Before I knew it, a small child who was the spitting image of David ran past his mother and said ‘Mommy,' then shrank back when he realized I wasn't his mother.”

“Jared?”

“Yes. He was two, almost three at the time, and they'd hidden the child from me since his mom, Cynthia, birthed him. Of course,
David called, begged, pled, and everything, but I knew I couldn't walk down any aisle with him. How could I trust a man who looked me in my face and carried on a three-year betrayal? He said he'd made a mistake by having a one-night stand with Cynthia. He eventually stopped trying to get me back, married Cynthia, and somehow, our lives continued to intersect.

“Cynthia isn't too thrilled to be around me, but we've built a cordial bridge over the years. Carl and I even gave Jared an awesome graduation hook-up this year. We promised not to share what it is, but let's say he won't have problems going back and forth to college.”

“Yvette, I had no idea you've gone through so much pain.”

“Hey, every smiling face isn't happy. People mask a lot,” said Yvette. She swung a right on Lovejoy Road and allowed her truth to soak in.

Victoria looked at her flawless associate. Even in sweats, Minimus shoes, and standing at five feet eleven inches, she exuded confidence. Yvette's volleyball days were over, but men still approached her and asked if she modeled. Yvette's sandy-brown, shoulder-length hair was pulled back in a ponytail. Yvette lived for Smashbox Camera Ready BB Cream, but today, Victoria admired her blemish-free, caramel skin. Beautiful inside and out, Yvette didn't deserve to be treated the way Victoria had treated her.
I've got to do better,
Victoria thought.

They arrived at McCurry Park, coasting into a space near the baseball field.

“Yvette, did I keep you from doing your business run?”

“You're my business run. Let's go walk off these pounds.”