Forgiven: Ryder and Sawyer 3 (Fallen Idols Motorcycle Club Book 9) (5 page)

ELEVEN

RYDER

I can take a beating, be threatened with a gun, and kill a person without a second thought, but saying goodbye to someone I loved… I couldn’t do it. Pops was like a father to me, and once I said goodbye, I was accepting that he was gone. I wasn’t ready for that.

I didn’t cry; it just wasn’t my thing. I drank myself into stupors and I pushed my feelings aside. But Pops wouldn’t want that. He hated watching me spiral down the rabbit hole, and I wouldn’t let his death cause me to do the one thing the only thing that ever disappointed him about me.

No. I would be strong. I would be strong for him. For Axel. For Sawyer. I would be strong. I straightened my tie, tugged on my cut, and walked up to the casket for my final goodbye.

He looked good. Not too much shit caked on his face. I kneeled down in front of the blue metal, and silently thanked him for all the years of being there for me. Tears poured from my eyes, and I didn’t bother wiping them away. Nobody would call me a pussy today. We were all crying.

“I’m so sorry, Pops. I wish I could’ve been there. Taken that bullet for you.”

A hand rested on my shoulder, and I looked up into Sawyer’s beautiful eyes. I linked my fingers with her and tried to take comfort in her touch. I took a deep breath and stood.

“Ryder, you need to know something,” she said, as she glanced over to Pops and smiled.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Pops knew. He figured it out.” She rested a hand on her stomach. “When Velasquez fired that shot, he was firing at me. Pops pushed me out of the way, and took the bullet for the baby.” Tears stained her cheeks as she told me. The room grew silent, and I knew everyone had heard her.

Shock and admiration built up inside me for the man who always managed to be there for me, even when I couldn’t be there for myself filled me. Axel and Paige walked over to us, and Sawyer threw her arms around him. “I am so sorry, Axel. It should’ve been me. It should’ve been me.”

Axel hugged her to him and then pulled away. “No. This was how it was supposed to be. Pops died a hero. I can find comfort in that.”

“If it’s okay with you,” Sawyer smiled at Axel. “I’d like to name the baby after him. Boy or girl they will carry his name somehow.”

“It would be an honor,” Axel choked out. He kissed Sawyer on the cheek, and then turned to Paige who wrapped her arms around him and held him tight.

It was as if Pops had planned it. He had always been there for us, and now Axel and I each had someone who could fill the void.

I rested a hand on the casket and said goodbye, joining the rest of my family. We all stood together, our heads held high, silently saying our final goodbye as they closed the casket, placing Pops’s cut securely on top.

In the movies it always rained during a funeral scene. Today, as always in California, the skies were crystal blue and the sun was shining high above us. It was what Pops would want. He wouldn’t want the darkness to consume us. He’d want us to look to the light and move on with our lives.

So instead of mourning his death, we headed back to Raven’s Nest and we celebrated it.  

Seven Months Later

SAWYER

Sweat trickled from my temple as I groaned. “I can’t. I can’t.”

Ryder kissed my knuckles. “You can. You’re doing so great, baby. She’s almost here. Just a little more.”

I panted, not believing his words, but knew I needed to. Taking one final deep breath, I pushed with everything I had, my scream filling the room.

“That’s it. You’re doing it. Oh my god, you’re amazing. You’re doing it!” Ryder was practically jumping up and down next to me.

I collapsed back into the bed, utterly spent, as a tiny cry echoed off the walls. My eyes widened, realizing that she was finally here. I lifted my head to see her, just as the doctor placed her up on my belly. My arms wrapped around her tiny body as tears flooded my eyes. She was beautiful. Perfect.

Ryder kissed my forehead, bending down to touch her tiny hand. “I have a daughter. Holy shit. I have a daughter.”

I laughed, wrapping the tiny blanket around her to keep her warm. “Yes, we do.”

The next hour was a whirl, with doctors and nurses checking us both over from head to toe. Finally, Ryder and I got a moment alone as a family. I shook my head, the words still sounding foreign in my head.

“You were amazing in there, babe. I’m so proud of you.”

I tilted my head up, and he bent, capturing my lips.

We didn’t get to savor the moment, because there was a pounding at the door. “Is she here? We want to see her!”

Ryder chuckled, straightening to go open the door for what I’m sure was the entire club. Axel and Paige hurried inside, followed closely by Mom, Cruz and Evie. My Dad was noticeably missing from the lineup, but he would meet his granddaughter soon enough. “Everyone else is here too, but Bones wouldn’t let us all bombard you at once. However, Trista made us swear not to take too long or she was coming in here to physically remove us so she could get her turn with her new baby cousin.”

Mom was the first to hold her, pushing past everyone, and cooing to her in Spanish as everyone else asked me how I was doing. Mom finally handed her back to me, giving her a kiss on the forehead. I waved Paige over, and she squealed as she took in the tiny baby wrapped safely in my arms. “Oh my! I think she’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Axel, babe, you’ve gotta come take a look at her.”

Axel, who had been hugging Ryder, made his way over to me. “Can I?” he asked. “I promise I just washed my hands. Twice. Paige made me.”

Paige rolled her eyes.

I nodded, “Of course.” I placed her very gently in Axel’s arms, careful that he supported her head. “Axel, I’d like to introduce you to Paula Maria Monroe, the newest family member of the Fallen Idol’s MC.”

The door slammed open, and Trista and Blaze came barging in. “You all are too damn slow,” Trista declared and held up a bottle of champagne. “Besides, I brought booze.”

Bones came in behind her, and shook his head as Blaze handed him a cup. “What the hell.”

Trista poured the champagne, and Blaze passed them out. Once they were all filled and distributed, Ryder held up his glass. “To the newest member of the family.” He looked over to me as Axel rested Paula in my arms. “Sawyer and Paula, the two most beautiful girls I have ever laid my eyes on. I love you, both.” He smiled that gorgeous smile of his.

It took us forever, but I finally felt like we got it right.

“And to Pops,” I said. “Because, if it wasn’t for him, we wouldn’t be here today. Besides, we all know damn well he’s here with us.” I held up my cup, tears building up on my lids, the pain still too close to the surface. “So, Pops, thank you for my baby girl’s life.”  

Bones smiled while Mom pulled Cruz and Evie in close. Blaze wrapped his arm around Trista’s shoulder and held her tight against him. Paige rested her head on Axel’s chest, and I slid my hand into Ryder’s. I took the moment in, savoring this perfect memory and remembering the man who made it possible.

After a moment, we all held our glasses high.

“To Pops,” we cheered.

###

This was the final story of the Fallen Idols MC.

I hope you enjoyed the series, I mean really if you got this far, you must have liked it.

And you, yep the one still reading, I’m really thankful for you reader, because you stuck with the Fallen Idols through it all.

But don’t worry, I have more books coming… and SOON.

Kisses- Savvy

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