Forgotten (43 page)

“
Well, as it turned out,
playing on insecurities was what ol’ Greg was all about.” Kate gave
another sobbing laugh and found that her eyes were stinging. “I got
away from him that night and I wanted to report him. But he sent me
an e-mail…”

“
He threatened you?” Rone
asked when she paused.

“
Yeah, but not how you’d
think. See, it turns out he and his roommate did this kind of thing
a lot and they had a camera set up to film it. Sick fucks.” Just
the memory turned her stomach.

“
The images should have
been enough to show what kind of male he was and convict him!” Rone
exclaimed. “Why didn’t you bring them to the
authorities?”

“
Because the part he sent
was just…just pictures of my back. After my dress ripped, I mean.”
Kate licked her lip, which still stung from the way she’d bitten it
earlier during the caning. “He said…he told me in the e-mail that
it was
my
fault I
hadn’t enjoyed what he did to me. And he said he’d circulate the
pictures and let everyone know…know what a ‘frigid freak’ I was.
I…I didn’t want that. Didn’t want anyone seeing my back—my
scars.”

“
Kate…”

She hugged herself tightly, unable to stop
talking.

“
I know I should have
spoken up—I
wanted
to. I was getting up the nerve to do it when another girl
did. And some others came forward and backed her up. And then…then
I felt like I couldn’t. I mean, Greg and his roommate, they
actually
raped,
those other girls. I guess…guess I felt like I’d gotten off
light and I couldn’t…I mean, I didn’t have it as bad as they did so
I couldn’t complain.” She sighed and wiped tears from her eyes. “Or
maybe that was just an excuse I used so I didn’t have to admit what
had happened, so I didn’t have to let everyone know what a freak I
was…what a freak I still
am.”

“
You’re
not
a freak,” Rone said
roughly. “Kate, look at me…” He turned her to face him and looked
at her earnestly. “You’re beautiful,” he murmured, brushing away a
tear from her flushed cheek. “Always so beautiful and brave and
perfect to me, baby.”

Kate gave another jagged laugh. “Yeah? Well,
I don’t think I acted very bravely at the time. And it’s not like I
had it as bad as the other girls Greg and his roommate got to.”

“
You
fought
him,” Rone said fiercely, his
blue eyes burning. “Even with the drug in your system you fought!
And you say he didn’t hurt you—didn’t rape you as he did the other
females. But Kate, he still
penetrated
you against your will.
And nearly suffocated you at the same time!” A look of deep sorrow
came over his face. “Now I understand why you’re so reluctant to
let me taste you. How can I blame you after what that bastard
did?”

“
I…” Kate didn’t know what
to say. “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you before. It’s just…I’ve spent
so long trying to forget it. It’s hard…hard to talk
about.”

“
Of course it is,” he said
gently. His big hands curled into fists. “Where is the son of a
bitch who did that to you now? I want to find him the next time we
go to Earth and
kill
him.” His voice was a low, menacing growl. “I’ll rip his
fucking head off and bathe in his blood!”

Kate shook her head. “You can’t do that,
Rone! And anyway, I don’t know where he is now.”

“
Was he at least punished
by the authorities for what he did?” Rone demanded.

Kate sighed. “I think he cut some kind of
deal, if I’m remembering right. He turned on his roommate and
somehow just got community service or something.”

“
What?” Rone sounded
really incensed. “How could they just let him go free when all the
evidence was caught on film?”

Kate shrugged. “Well, someone tipped them
off and they destroyed most of it. And for the footage that was
left, apparently they were careful to keep their backs to the
camera while they were filming so it was impossible to identify
them.”

“
Then he hasn’t been
properly punished.” Rone was glowering now, obviously really angry.
“I’ll see to that the next time we go to Earth—I swear it. I just
wish you could tell me where he’s living now.”

“
I have no idea. It’s not
like I would ever want to keep track of him. I just wanted to get
on with my life and try to forget.” Kate took a deep, trembling
breath. “And for the most part, I
did
. I tried to forget about Greg,
though I didn’t forget what he’d taught me—I was a lot more careful
after that. I think…” She coughed. “I think it took me two years
after that to go on another date and I
never
let myself be alone with a guy
in his room or apartment again. But I recovered…I had other
relationships.”

“
Never any lasting ones if
what you told me was true,” Rone said in a low voice.

“
No,” Kate admitted
uneasily. “It was…really hard to trust guys after that. Human guys,
anyway. Maybe…maybe the reason I was able to trust you is because
you’re not human—not like them. I don’t know.” She shrugged. “I
wish I could remember.”

“
You did say something
like that to me, early in our relationship.” Rone sounded
thoughtful. “And it
did
take you a long time to let me see your scars…or
to let me taste you. Now I understand why.”

“
Yup. Now you know the
whole, ugly story.” Kate tried to say it lightly but her words fell
flat.

“
Yes, now I know,” Rone
said softly, breaking the awkward pause that had fallen between
them. “And it makes me marvel even more at your bravery—that you
were ever able to overcome what was done to you and trust
me.”

“
I wish I could remember
that—remember trusting you.” Kate heard the wistfulness in her
voice but couldn’t seem to help it. “I must have felt really
comfortable about you to let you see my scars and…do everything
else we apparently did.”

“
It took months,” he
admitted, stroking her hair. “Months of talking and spending time
together—I poured my whole self into the effort. I wanted you so
badly, wanted you to trust me…to open up to me.”

Kate sighed. “You must feel like all that
effort was wasted now.”

“
Of course not. In fact, I
want to thank you for trusting me again,” Rone said gravely.
“Trusting me enough to tell me your story. You didn’t in the past,
you know. It never came between us but I always felt there was
something…some shadow on your heart and I wanted desperately to
know what it was. So thank you.”

“
You’re welcome.” Kate
found she couldn’t meet the burning intensity of his eyes for long.
They were still lying on the bed together, face to face, and the
intimacy of the moment was almost too much to bear. “Um…” She
cleared her throat, casting about for something to say, some way to
break the tension that had somehow grown between them. “Okay, so I
showed you mine, now it’s time for you to show me
yours.”

“
What?” Rone frowned at
her, clearly not understanding.

Kate felt stupid. God, what was wrong with
her? Well, other than the fact that she’d just endured a brutal
beating and shared the most private and painful experience of her
life with a man she still couldn’t remember loving. She took a
breath and tried again.

“
I mean, I told you my
story. About why…why I didn’t want you, uh, tasting me.” Her cheeks
felt warm but she made herself go on. “Now you have to tell me
about the
hunger.”

Rone looked distinctly uncomfortable.

“
Ah, well…perhaps…perhaps
we should keep it for another time.”

“
What?” Kate frowned at
him. “Listen, Mister, I just spilled my guts to you and it
was
not
easy. Now
it’s your turn. Don’t tell me you’re backing down.”

“
All right.” Rone made a
face. “No need to question my honor. I’ll tell you but I don’t want
you to feel…to feel…”

“
To feel what?” Kate
looked at him, honestly confused. “What is it? Are you afraid it’s
going to make me feel bad?”

“
It shouldn’t,” he said,
looking at her earnestly. “Truly, Kate, I don’t want it to. That’s
why I’d rather not tell you.”

For a moment Kate almost
relented. But then she remembered how hard—how
agonizing—
it had been to dredge up
the memory of her assault. Whatever Rone had to tell her, it
couldn’t make her feel worse than
that
.

“
Just tell me,” she said
evenly, looking him in the eyes. “What is the
hunger?”

He sighed, clearly defeated.

“
The
hunger
is the name we Wulven give to
the desire we feel for our mates. Only…” He shook his head. “It’s
not really just a desire. It’s more like…like an
addiction
.”

“
You’re addicted to your
mate? To me, I mean?” Kate looked at him in surprise. “You
mean…sexually?”

“
Yes, in a way,” he
admitted in a low voice. “You know I have a Beast inside me—a feral
creature that thinks only of feeding and breeding.”

“
I…I know,” Kate said,
hearing the little catch in her voice. “The Knowing told me—warned
me the first time I saw you. Or back at the mall,
anyway.”

Rone nodded. “It warned you when we first
met as well. Yet, you still pursued me. I think it fascinated
you—that and the fact that I wasn’t human.”

“
That sounds about right,”
Kate said. “I love to get to know new people and other cultures
have always interested me.”

“
I know.” He gave her a
small smile. “That’s one of the things I’ve always loved about
you.”

“
Okay, but getting back to
the Beast…?” Kate prompted gently. “Do all Wulven males have
them?”

Rone nodded. “Before a Wulven male is mated,
we have to allow the Beast time to come out and roam every month.
At the convergence of the full moons, we go to the Howlund—a
special area set aside for males, especially unmated ones—and let
the Beast come out.”

“
What happens after you’re
mated?” Kate asked.

“
Well, then we have
another way to control it. To keep the Beast quiet.”

“
What way?” Kate
prompted.

Rone sighed reluctantly.

“
The Beast is a creature
of pure emotion and appetite. It feeds on pleasure…sexual
pleasure.”

“
So…because we’ve been
separated for so long and we haven’t, uh…haven’t had sex…” Kate
coughed. “I mean, are you telling me you need to get your rocks
off? Is that it?”

“
The
hunger
isn’t fed by making love—or
not
only
by
making love,” Rone said softly.

Kate felt a surge of relief. “Okay, so we
could get you off another way? Maybe a, uh, hand-job? Or a
blow-job?”

Her cheeks got hot but she
spoke the words anyway. After all, in the past several days, they’d
touched each other very intimately and though she still couldn’t
remember the past and Rone being her husband, she had to admit she
was
definitely
attracted to the big Kindred. She could see her way clear to
helping him out if he needed her to.

But he was shaking his head.

“
I’m afraid you’re
misunderstanding me. It isn’t my pleasure the Beast feeds
on—it’s
yours, Lalli.
It’s the pleasure of a male’s mate that satiates it and keeps
it quiet and contented.”

“
But…how can that be?”
Kate asked blankly. “It can
feel
my pleasure?”

“
It can,” he admitted in a
low voice. “But it isn’t just your pleasure that the Beast hungers
for.”

“
What then?” Kate felt her
breath catch in her throat. She thought she knew what he was going
to say but…

“
Your honey.” He looked
away and she saw that his big hands were clenched into fists. “The
Beast—
my
Beast—is
addicted to your honey. It craves it desperately, Kate.”

“
My honey? You mean my…”
Kate nodded down at herself, to the V between her legs.

Rone nodded. “Your juices. The sweet nectar
your pussy makes when you’re aroused.”

Kate felt herself go hot and cold all
over.

“
And when it doesn’t get
to…to taste my, uh, honey it becomes…what—dangerous?”

She vaguely remembered
hearing both Madam Shadow and Mistress Light warning the big
Kindred that his
hunger
was getting out of control and there would be
trouble soon if he couldn’t get it taken care of. But she’d been so
out of it with pain the words hadn’t made sense. Now she
understood.

“
My God,” she whispered.
“I finally get it—why you told me you always had to, uh, ‘kiss’ me
awake and ‘kiss’ me goodnight and the reason we had a freaking
schedule for you to…to taste me. And now it’s been over six months
so your Beast is probably
starving.
”