ForsakingEternity (12 page)

“So it is,” Gabriel conceded with a slow nod. “As I
expected, Dom and Maggie’s blessing has spared them. What the Most High has
joined, no man is willing to pull asunder.”

Ren closed his eyes and took a shaky breath. “Thank you.”

“There is no thanks to be given here. This was entirely the
decision of the angels and human council.”

Ren nodded in understanding. “And what of my fate?”

“You are not so fortunate. Without a blessing you have no
shield. Your willingness to forsake your own eternity moved the angels, though.
Because of this, the angels pleaded for mercy.”

“I did not ask for mercy.” How dare they? Sparing him would
put Adam in danger. Did they not see this? Or did they not care?

“Do not bristle at me. We are aware it was not your request,
however such a selfless act should not go unrewarded. I am also aware you are
not looking for a reward. That is what makes the act selfless.”

Ren nodded in acceptance. “I apologize. I worry for Adam.
This will not have an effect on his absolution?”

“It will not.” Gabriel reached between them to place a
reassuring hand on Ren’s shoulder. “I understand your need to be there to
protect him. Were it possible, I would take you to him myself. Raphael has
assigned Evangelos to guard him and his well-being is a priority with the Most
High.”

The heartfelt truth of those words rang through Ren’s soul,
offering a peace which would sustain him through the ages.

“Now, we must discuss the final terms quickly. The demons
are arriving.”

Demons.

The stark reality of the Curse of Eternal Damnation hit Ren
full force and he could not stop the shiver of icy fear winding its way down
his spine. “They come to take me to Hell, then?”

“No. One of the concessions by the humans was to spare you
Hell itself. The sentence will be carried out here, in this place of
nothingness.”

“
One
of the concessions? There are more?” Ren was
afraid to hope for more and yet he couldn’t stop his heart from leaping in his
chest.

“The other concession is a bit more complex. Some of the
humans felt your punishment should be small, that your love for Adam and
determination to save him from any harm should be recognized in the final
terms. Others felt you should take on exactly what you requested—the full
measure of the curses.”

Ren could well imagine the bickering which ensued over such
details. It was hard enough to find twelve average humans who agreed on the
mundane. No doubt the twelve legal and religious scholars of the human
delegation all had their own ideas on how to interpret the covenant and uphold
it. “And what was decided?”

“Their ideas were combined. First, and most importantly,
your term will be finite. There will be no eternal damnation for you.”

Relief swept over Ren and he became lightheaded. For a
moment he lost his sense of up. Leaning forward, he braced his elbows on his
knees and cradled his head in his hands. Dizziness assaulted him, making his
stomach clench and leaving him feeling as if he were about to topple over into
a heap.

“In Earthly terms, you will remain here one month for every
day you spent with Adam. I did not tell them just how long you were with him. I
believe they expected more than the three months this would come to.”

A bubble of laughter escaped Ren at the wily bit of trickery
on Gabriel’s part. He pushed himself upright to meet the seraph’s eyes.

“Some might consider this dishonest,” he pointed out.

“Nonsense,” Gabriel huffed. “I’m an angel. We are inherently
honest. It is not my fault they did not ask for a tally of your days on Earth
before they reached this number.”

“What else? That cannot be all there is.”

“Indeed it isn’t. Others in the group were against such a
simple solution, pointing out it only covered your culpability, not the
human’s. They asked for the creation of this place.” Gabriel’s outstretched
arms brought Ren’s attention back to the void.

“My personal purgatory.”

“Yes. There is nothing here but punishment. Nothing. This
includes time. When I come to you in three months, you will have experienced
twice Adam’s full lifetime worth of torture, and because of your pleas for
mercy, Adam will live to be a very old man.”

It was more than he could have ever hoped. He stood and gave
Gabriel a formal bow. “I find these terms acceptable. Please extend my
gratitude to both the human delegation and the Host for their mercy for both
Adam and myself.”

“One more thing, Renatus.”

Ren froze, bent at the waist, half afraid and half anxious
to hear what else Gabriel had to say.

“At the end of your incarceration on this plane you are
free.”

Ren straightened with a frown. “I’m sorry, I don’t
understand. How am I free?”

“If Adam is willing, the Most High will offer his blessings,
with the full approval of the Host and the human delegation. You can bond with
him. Marry him, as the humans would say.”

Ren stared at Gabriel, stupefied by the words, certain he
hadn’t heard them correctly. He must have mistaken what was said because what
he heard simply could not be.

Could it?

Gabriel jerked to his feet, twisting to look at some unknown
thing hovering beyond the void. “They come.”

He turned to face Ren once more, concern etching deep lines
in his face. “My time here is up. I am…” He dropped his gaze, as if unable to
look upon Ren anymore. “Be brave and hold tight, Renatus. This, too, shall end.
Remember, when all seems lost.”

Before he could answer, Gabriel was gone and he found
himself lying naked, his limbs stretched to the utmost of their endurance, and
pinned in place by an unseen force.

From the distance came a hideous noise, the cackling laughs
and giddy shrieks of Hell’s residents coming to take their first decadent taste
of an angel’s pure power. Dark forms emerged out of the nothingness, growing
blacker and more sinister with every step they took. They brought with them the
spirit of oppression. It hung thick in the air, weighing it down until he
wanted to weep in despair.

The largest of the demons moved to stand between Renatus’
feet. He stood over seven feet tall and a set of horns twisted from his skull
more than a foot beyond that. His leathery skin seemed to absorb light, to dim
the space around him. Scarlet eyes gleamed in his a piglike face and his smile
revealed yellowed fangs.

Lucifer himself had come to feed.

“Hello, Ren. So good to see you again. Especially like
this.” Satan laughed at his own jest and the legion of ghouls behind him joined
in. Their screams of amusement carried an edge of hysteria which speared
through Ren’s mind, driving him toward madness.

Meela stepped up to Lucifer’s side. “May I have the first
taste, My Liege?” she asked, trailing her claws up the inside of Ren’s leg,
scoring the skin and releasing venom into his blood in a searing wave of pain.

“Get away from him, you stupid bitch,” Lucifer roared,
striking Meela and sending her sprawling across the ground. “You have cost me
more souls than I care to count. You’ll not be rewarded for that failing with a
taste of angel.”

The demons around him squealed at Meela’s pain. Some of them
attacked her, jumping in to bite and claw at her with quick swipes before
leaping away again. She swung at them, but they were too fast and too plentiful
for her. Blood trickled over her scales in bright rivulets as they continued
their gleeful assault.

A tendril of pity wound its way past Ren’s fear. The feeling
was fleeting, though. The evil pressing in from every side overrode everything
but the terror and corroded his ability to think.

He tried to remember how this had happened, how he got to
this place. Why was this happening? Why was the Most High allowing this?

Then he saw it. He remembered. Warm brown eyes which carried
a keen intelligence, curling brown hair shot with threads of silver, and a
smile which transformed a face from average to stunningly beautiful.

Adam.

Right now Adam was home, safe and happy. All Ren had to do
was endure and he’d stay that way.

Praise be.

Lucifer’s snarl of anger let him know his thanksgiving had
not gone unnoticed. A gnarled, talon-tipped finger was drawn down the line of
flesh where Ren’s torso met thigh. More venom. More fire coursing through his
blood.

“We’ll see if you still want to offer praises when I’m
through with you.” Saliva dripped from Lucifer’s fangs and his lips twisted
into a sneer. Reaching across Ren, he grabbed a handful of feathers and yanked,
ripping them from the fragile skin.

Ren’s eyes watered in pain and he fought to keep the image
of Adam in his mind. For him. It is all for him. He blinked away the tears and
focused on the bloody white feathers Lucifer held. He clenched his teeth
tightly together and refused to give Lucifer the satisfaction of a response.

“Now, my old friend, it is time to dine.” Bending his head,
Lucifer ran his tongue over Renatus’ scrotum before sinking his teeth into the
soft flesh of his groin. Ren could not hold back his scream of pain. Then the
demons descended, ripping the flesh from his bones and consuming him.

Chapter Nine

Three Months Later, the First Night of Hanukkah

“Adam, stay here. You shouldn’t be driving all the way back
to your house tonight.”

“I’d feel more comfortable in my own home, Mom. Besides, I
just live a few miles away. It’s not like I’m going far.” Adam took his
mother’s hands from his cheeks and brushed a kiss over her forehead.

“But the roads are icy.”

“The roads are fine. I made it here in one piece, I can make
it back home.”

“Fine,” she said, waving her hands in the air and turning
her back on him. “But if you kill yourself on those roads, don’t call me. I’m
staying right here where it’s safe.”

“Okay, I won’t call you if I’m dead. I’m still going home for
the night. I’ll be back tomorrow.”

She perched on the edge of a chair at the dining room table
and watched the flame of the candle dance in the menorah.

“Can’t you stay, Adam? I hate being alone in this big
house.”

Adam tried to hold back a pain-filled sigh. Hadn’t he felt
the same since Ren left? Every night, he wandered through a house that had once
seemed so welcoming. Now it was nothing more than a shell, a cold, lonely
building where his footsteps echoed through empty rooms.

He pulled out a chair and sat beside her. “Mom, I know you
want company, but I’m just not up to it. Not tonight.” Maybe not even this
month. Or next.

“Oh, baby boy, I wish you would tell me what happened.”

“Mom—”

“Don’t you ‘mom’ me and don’t deny it. You’re hurting and
have been for months. You might not talk about your love life with your mother
but that doesn’t mean she can’t tell when your heart’s been broken.”

Almost against his will, Adam’s hand rose to press against
his heart, trying to soothe the soul-deep agony. When would it stop hurting?

Suddenly the idea of spending the holiday alone seemed
unbearable.

“How about if I pack a bag and I’ll spend a few days
starting tomorrow? Maybe we can have Aunt Bettie and her crew over for dinner
one night and fill this place up too.”

“That sounds like a good idea. Oh, but I need to go
shopping. I don’t have enough food to feed everyone.”

“I can take you.”

He started to push his weary body up from the chair, but she
stopped him with a hand on his forearm.

“When did you lose your faith, Adam?” Her soft brown eyes
were full of concern as she kept him pinned to the chair with that one hand
resting on his sleeve.

Guilt stopped him. For years he’d tried to hide his
unbelieving heart. He should have known he couldn’t fool his mother. Then Ren
came and he’d started to believe again.

“I don’t know. Maybe I never had it.” Or maybe he’d had a
remnant waiting to be kindled.

Now that scrap of faith had been fed by an angel, attacked
by a demon and crushed by a Creator who would give him the one he could love
forever, only to take him away again two days later.

Memories of Ren flooded him; the timid man who battled evil
as a winged warrior.

Suddenly the old house seemed far too small, his mother’s
presence too suffocating. He rose and headed for the front door, barely
managing to keep himself from running to it.

“I have to go.”

“Okay, you go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He hesitated at the door. He hated leaving her but staying
seemed unbearable.

“I love you, Mom.”

“I know you do. I love you too.” She reached up to pat his
cheek again and he placed his hand over hers, holding her there.

Turning his head, he placed a kiss on her palm before
stepping through the door.

Once home, his loneliness compounded. He wandered through
the empty rooms, not bothering to even turn on the lights. No sound reached him
but his muted footsteps on the carpeting and the faint hum of the refrigerator
in the kitchen.

For the hundredth time, he wondered if he’d been
shortsighted with his choice to not have a family. Why hadn’t he pursued
adoption? Was forty too old to start trying? Maybe his mother’s dire
predictions were right and he was going to die a lonely old man.

With a resigned sigh, he returned to his room and sat on the
edge of the bed. Two feathers sat on his nightstand. One was the elegant quill
Evan had brought him. A sign of deep love and commitment according to him. To
Adam, it felt more like a goodbye. The other was a snowy bit of down. He’d
plucked it from his bed months ago; a reminder of his night with the one man he’d
never stop loving.

Picking it up, he brushed its exquisite softness over his
lips.

Come back to me. Please, if you can hear me, come back,
Ren.