Forty-Four Box Set, Books 1-10 (44) (120 page)

“Hanging on to what?”

“You.”

We walked on in silence. I didn’t want Jesse to ever let me go. A tear slid down my cheek and my stomach tightened.

But I knew that I was being selfish. I had no right keeping him in a world he didn’t belong in. He was staying here because of me, and he was stuck between two places, without a home. I didn’t want that for him.

“He’s right, Jesse,” I said. “I’m okay here now. You deserve a better life.”

“That’s what he said,” Jesse said. “The part about you being okay. He said you were really good the last few times he had seen you. That you were back on your feet and you really didn’t need me to stay anymore. I think he’s right about that. Look how great you did with Mortimer.”

I wouldn’t have used the word
great
, but I nodded before hiding my face and looking away.

“Change is always so hard,” he said, finally.

“It is,” I said, holding back more tears.

“I love you, Jesse.”

“I love you too, Craigers.”

He put his arm around my shoulders as we walked slowly back to the Jeep.

CHAPTER 51

I pulled down two sweaters from my closet and stacked them in my suitcase.

“How can I help?” Kate said, sitting on my bed.

“I think I’m good.”

“You guys are going to have a blast in San Francisco.”

I grabbed my sneakers and put them in a plastic bag.

“I think so,” I said. “I’m excited about being somewhere I’ve only seen on TV.”

 “When was the last time you went on a vacation anyway?”

“It has been a long time,” I said. “Hey, could you get my Barca sweatshirt for me? I left it in the kitchen.”

“Sure,” she said.

I packed more jeans and some shirts and slipped my iPad in the side pocket.

“Here you go,” Kate said. “You know, I got an email from Ben last night. He’s already in Portland. He apologized for not calling you back but said you’d understand. He said he’ll have more time after the tour.”

“I hope he’s feeling better,” I said.

I had told Kate pretty much everything that happened that day. Except that I left out the part about Dr. Mortimer killing Nathaniel. It wasn’t that she would hold it against him. The way she felt about Nathaniel, she would probably see it as a virtue. But I just felt it wasn’t my place. He should tell Kate when he was ready.

“So does Evan have the weekend off?”

“Yeah,” she said. “Finally. He’s been working so much lately. It’ll be fun having him around. We’ll probably do nothing, just hang out and catch some movies on Netflix. Maybe we’ll start
House of Cards
.”

“All that intrigue. That sounds right up your alley.”

“Hey, I didn’t tell you,” she said. “But Erin called me this morning. There’s an opening at
The Oregonian
for a reporter on the metro desk.”

“Awesome, Kate,” I said. “I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed. Call me if you hear anything. I mean, like right away.”

“I will,” she said.

I finished packing and closed up my suitcase. I rolled it out to the living room and left it by the front door.

“When’s Ty picking you up?”

“Nine sharp,” I said.

“Oh, good, we still have a little time. Tea?”

“I’d love some.”

CHAPTER 52

I rummaged through the large brown sack and pulled out the cellophane bag and ripped it open.

“Cheetos?” Ty said. “When did you start eating those?”

“David got me hooked on them last year.”

He eyed the bag and nodded.

“I don’t want it getting back to David that I don’t like Cheetos. We have enough issues as it is,” he said, laughing. “You better hit me.”

I grabbed a puffy morsel and stuffed it in his mouth.

We had just crossed over the California border and I could see Mt. Shasta in the distance, wispy clouds surrounding the summit.

“I got us a nice hotel on Priceline. Four stars and close to Fisherman’s Wharf.”

“Awesome. I’m so glad we’re doing this, Ty. I’m already having a good time.”

I leaned over and kissed the corner of his cheesy mouth.

He rested his hand on my leg as Hayes Carll sang in the background. I pulled down my sunglasses and sat back. We caught up to a train going in the same direction. I rolled down my window to hear the sound it made going down the tracks. The air wasn’t even that cold.

“I sure missed you, Abby.”

“Me, too.”

I was tired and my heart was still heavy because of Jesse and his dad. But I was happy, too.

“Is Derek back home?” Ty said after a while.

“Yeah, sort of,” I said. “The last I heard he was on his way to check into a rehab program. I won’t hear from him for 30 days. They don’t let them make any calls.”

“I’m glad he’s taken that step,” Ty said. “I would imagine it’s hard to kick on your own.”

“I’m going to keep in touch with him this time. I mean after his month is up. He was a good friend back in the day.”

My phone rang and I checked the screen. I was expecting it to be Kate, but my heart skipped a few beats when I saw who it was. Ty turned down the music.

“Hello?” I said slowly.

“Ms. Craig?” It was Special Agent Felder. “Listen, I just heard something and I wanted to pass it along.”

“Okay,” I said.

“It’s about Jack Martin.”

I shuddered when he said his name.

“I don’t have all the details. But he was found dead in his jail cell at roll call this morning.”

I was quiet.

“Ms. Craig?” he said.

“But… how?”

“They’re not sure yet. They’ll know more after the preliminary investigation and an autopsy. He was in solitary confinement, and there were no signs of foul play. When I find out more, I’ll give you a call.”

I said goodbye and hung up. It was hard to believe.

“What’s up?” Ty said.

“That was the FBI. Jack’s dead.”

“Dead?”

“Yeah. They found him in his jail cell this morning.”

“Well, that’s a good thing, right?” Ty said a few moments later. “It’s almost like a gift.”

I looked up at the sky. Even though I couldn’t see the blue, I knew that it was there. But clouds had also started forming overhead. A moment later bits of frozen pellets mixed with rain began bouncing off the windshield. I quickly rolled up the window.

We drove in silence for a while, the hail loud in our ears, the sun in our faces, miles of empty road stretching out ahead.

THE END

Forty-Four Book Eight

by

Jools Sinclair

Copyright © 2013 Jools Sinclair

You Come Too Publishing

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book, or portions thereof, in any form. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in, or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical without the express written permission of the author. The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or via any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions, and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials.

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or to actual events or locales is entirely coincidental.

for meg,

a light in the world

Forty-Four Book Eight

by

Jools Sinclair

PROLOGUE

Breaking the bone is easier than I imagine.

A little pressure. A little more. And snap.

It whines and cries out as if on cue. Its suffering is almost beautiful. And irresistible.

And you, you are so sweet, the concern etched on your face.

“Let me see,” you say, kneeling on the cold concrete.

You only have eyes for the animal in front of you. But soon, my love, that will change.

“I think its leg is broken,” I say.

The shakiness in my voice works to my advantage.

“Can you help me? The car’s just over there.”

You wrap your scarf around the damaged limb.

You are so lovely I must turn away and look down at the river below.

“My back,” I say, wincing as I pretend to pick it up, pretend to care.

“Let me.”

You carry it to the parking lot.

It is all happening just as I imagined.

We are alone.

It is perfect.

I hold the wet cloth up to your mouth.

You squirm and moan softly in my arms.

My legs grow weak. Your body goes limp.

“There, there,” I say, laying you down gently in the van.

I cover you with a blanket and lock the door.

And then I see it.

The sun falling below the horizon, painting the world with its beauty. I cannot remember ever noticing it before. I could never have imagined that life held such wonder. And it’s all because of you.

I stare at the red sky in awe.

Our first sunset.

I drive away, blinking back tears.

CHAPTER 1

It was the third time I had seen the car.

Yesterday morning in the lot at Back Street Coffee.

Last night at my soccer game.

And now on the street up near the college track.

This was more than just coincidence.

I stopped for some water, took a few deep breaths, and glanced over at the light sedan. There was someone sitting behind the wheel, but with the early morning sun in my eyes, that was all I could see.

I looked around and wondered where the regulars were. The old woman with the visor was usually here by now. And the two men in their mid-thirties who were always decked out in the latest gear and liked to stretch more than they ran weren’t here either.

Except for the army of tiny chipmunks darting across the track from the infield, I was completely alone.

I could have just left. And maybe I should have. But I didn’t want to.

I had started running as a way to build my endurance and speed for soccer, but more and more I found myself liking it for what it had to give. Being out here just after dawn, with my heart beating to the rhythm of the music pounding in my ears, I had time to think. Or not to think, if I was lucky.

But on this morning my thoughts went back to the car.

I checked to make sure that my phone had a charge and held it in my hand. I decided to stay.

As long as I was alert, I was pretty sure I could outrun almost anybody.

It was a beautiful, warm summer morning with a fresh breeze blowing in from the west, whispering through the tall pines. I scrolled down until I found my new playlist, heavy on Haim and Grinderman. I kept the volume low as I took lane four.

After warming up for a mile, I started doing 400 meter repeats. My plan was to do 10 of them. The idea was to go fast, but to leave something in the tank for the last few and not fade. If anything, I wanted to have my fastest laps toward the end.

It was possible that it
was
a coincidence, I reminded myself. There could be a logical explanation for the car. Lots of them in fact. I just couldn’t think of any.

As I rounded the southern end of the track by the empty tennis courts, I thought about the Culinary Institute just a few hundred feet down the hill, waiting for me next month.

Although I was excited about beginning the cooking program, I was nervous too. The last time I was in a classroom was when I was a senior in high school and that hadn’t gone so well. The accident that killed me for 44 minutes had changed everything, and school was one of those things. What used to come easy became the stuff of rocket science. Reading, memorizing, test taking. In the end I was lucky just to get out with my diploma.

My life got completely turned on its head. Gone were the college soccer scholarship hopes, the dreams of playing in the World Cup or the Olympics. But it wasn’t just that all my plans had died at the bottom of that lake. Something dark and mysterious took their place. I began seeing ghosts, having visions of serial killers, and noticing energies swirling around people.