Fosters: Blackhawk (9 page)

“Everyone is happy for you too.  Cloud is a
good man CJ.  He helped make this happen.  It’s the
nicest thing to happen to us since you.”  He says putting his
head on my shoulder.  “You have to be careful CJ. 
Something changed.”  His voice goes low. 

“Can you give me something to help me
understand?”  My body breaks out in goose bumps.

“It’s too big for me.  I can’t get
it.  I’m sorry.”  His voice catches.  I hold him
tight. 

“We’ll all be ok Christian.  It will all be
ok.”  I don’t want him upset all night.  He doesn’t
hardly sleep now.  “I love you little man.”

“I love you too CJ.  I need to go see Joey
early.”  He moves to sit. 

I roll out of the house and walk down the stairs
with him.  We go in to see Joey.  She’s in her pj’s and
in bed already.  Her bed is sitting up and a tray is in front
of her.  I laugh.  The back of the carriage is open with
a bar attached to the floor and wall and room for her chair. 
Another bar is hung from the ceiling for her to grab and pull
herself into bed.  Unfrigginbelievable!  “I did it all
myself CJ.”  She says so excited.  I hug her and tell her
I see that.  “I even did my treatment.  I can do
everything now.”

“You tell me if you need help once and a
while.  I’ll still need the numbers to record.”  I don’t
want her to think she has to do it alone. 

She has a big smile on.  “The book is in
there.  I put the numbers in it.” 

She’s so friggin proud I laugh.  “My
princess is growing up.  I’m not sure I like it.”

“You love it.”  Christian says.

“Friggin kid.  Get out of my head.”  I
tell him.  Joey laughs.  “I love you Joey.  I’ll see
you in the morning.” 

She kisses my cheek and says goodnight.  I
leave them to say their good nights and head back to the
office.  I just finish the calendar for the house deliveries
and maintenance when Mo comes in with a cup of tea.  I watch
him wondering what this is about.  “Since I pissed you off I
thought I’d make a peace offering.”  He smiles but it doesn’t
feel right. 

“Ok.” 

He puts the cup in front of me and sits
down.  “I’m sorry CJ.  I stepped over the line and
shouldn’t have questioned you.”

“You’re right.  Thank you for the
tea.”  I say.  I’m not sure what else to say.  I
don’t want to set precedence by explaining myself to him so I don’t
say anything. 

“Well, I’ll let you get back to work.”  He
gets up and leaves. 

“That went well.”  I say to no one. 
Cloud should be here soon.  I smile and take a sip of the
tea.  It tastes different and I wonder if it’s new. 
There was so much stuff in the kitchen that has to be it.  I’m
wondering how Cloud’s day went and smile.  I’m sitting here
daydreaming like a teenager.  I get push pins to put up my
calendar and stand. 

Shit I’m dizzy.  It hits me.  Fuckin
Mo.  Unusual.  Danny said to watch out for that. 
Using the wall I get to the doorway holding on.  My legs don’t
want to hold me.  Shit!  Tess said my body won’t
work.  I can’t make it back to the safe room. Making it out I
want to cry out for help but my mouth isn’t working.  I hold
the wall and go as far as I can before my legs give out. 
Falling I try to crawl to the end of the wall pulling myself into
the middle so the camera can see me.  The phone rings in my
office.  Fuck.  My brain is working but the rest of me
isn’t.  I hear someone on the stairs.  I hope it’s
Christian. 

Mo comes around the corner.  “My little
spitfire is ready for me.”  He sounds fuckin happy.  I
want to kill him.  “Let’s get you into bed.  Your room is
so pretty CJ.  Just what I pictured when we make love.”

Tears come out of my eyes.  Too grown up
for Christian.  He lifts me holding me against his
chest.  He’s short but stocky in stature and strong.  He
lays me on the bed in my new room.  I don’t want this to be in
my memory as the first time I’m in my bed.  I can’t move my
body.  I wish I could bite him.  He moves me around until
he’s satisfied with my position.  I feel him touching
me.  I close my eyes.  Please Cloud hurry.  I keep
the chant going in my head.  He’s undressing me. 

“Oh no my redheaded she devil.  You’re
looking at me or I’ll get the kids to come and watch.”  I open
my eyes.  Fuckin dick head.  Tears are blurring my
view.  I think, that’s something at least.  I hear the
helicopter.  Please Cloud hurry.  I pick up my chant
again.  “A whole year I’ve been waiting and you decide you’re
ready when I’m away.  You are mine.  No one puts their
cock in that tight pussy before me. You haven’t been with anyone
since that moron left you.”  He rolls me to get my shirt
off.  I feel like I’m seeing a movie.  I’m rolled back
and he moves away.  Thank God.  “I love when you get
mad.  Your eyes flash, your face gets red and you spit your
words out like fire.  It always gets me hard.  I would
have liked bending you over your desk but the bed works too. 
It’s such a pretty room CJ.”  He comes back in my line of
sight, he’s undressed.  Fuck!  I’m trying to will my arms
to move.  This can’t be happening.  There’s a
crash.  Please be Cloud.  He looks to the doorway and
lifts his hands up.  Please be Cloud.  I hear a man I
don’t know.  Fuck I’m naked and can’t move. 

“Please make a move so I can shoot your fuckin
ass.”  A deep voice says. 

Someone is covering me.  He’s blond and
beautiful.  Tears blur my vision again.  “CJ Cloud will
be here in a minute.  He had to shut the helicopter
down.  My name is Jamie Baxter; my brother Kevin is cuffing
the man right now.  If you understand blink twice for
yes.”  I blink for him.  Please understand.  “Your
body is not working but you understand everything that’s
happening?”  I blink twice.  “Good girl.  A doctor
is on the way.”  Thank God! 

Cloud comes in.  “CJ.”  He doesn’t say
anything else. 

“Date rape drugs.  She sees and understands
everything that’s happening but can’t move her body.  Two
blinks for yes.”  Jamie tells him.  

I hear a crash and Mo yells.  A minute
passes and Cloud gathers the blanket and lifts me up.  “I’m
sorry.  We got back later than I thought.  Rich called
Jamie from Security.  It’s going to be ok CJ.”  He’s
rocking me but I only see it.  I can’t feel anything
anymore.  I hear motorcycles. 

I keep my eyes on Cloud.  People are
talking and moving around the room but I’m trying to talk to him in
my head.  Sally comes in, “CJ I’m going to sleep upstairs and
keep the kids calm, by morning the drug will have worn
off.” 

Cloud lays me down.  “Did you understand
that CJ?”  I blink twice.  "Doc is here, do you want him
to do a rape kit on you?”  I blink once.  “Did he rape
you CJ?”  He has tears in his eyes.  I blink once. 
“We made it in time.”  I blink twice.  He pulls me to him
and I see his chest.  “Thank fuckin Christ.”  He kisses
my head and loosens his hold.  I can see him again.  “I’m
so sorry he even got to you.  I should have had someone in the
house.”  I blink once.  It’s not his fault. 

“CJ, I’m Doc.  Did your assistant give you
food tonight?”  I can’t see him but blink once.  “a
drink?”  I blink twice. 

Cloud nods.  “Rich said the camera picked
her up in the hall.  She must have been in the living room or
the office.”  He doesn’t take his eyes from me.  I blink
twice.  “The office?”  I blink twice.  He looks
away.  “Her office.”  Looking back down he smiles at
me.  “I’m pretty good at this.”  I want to laugh, I blink
twice.  He laughs and pulls me into him again.  All I see
is his shirt.  I hear more people.  Cloud loosens his
hold again. 

I hear Danny.  “Cloud, Steve has the
guy.” 

Cloud looks away from me.  “Feed him his
fuckin drugs and let Steve at him.  I want him to feel what
it’s like to be violated when he has no way to move.  Tell him
he can fuckin blink for his answers.”

Someone is laughing.  Cloud looks at
me.  “Is that a good enough punishment for him CJ?”  I
blink twice.  The fuckin jerk should experience this. 
“CJ agrees.”

“We’ll take care of it CJ.”  Danny
says.  I blink twice. 

“She says yes.”  Cloud tells him still
looking at me. 

“Cloud, Beau is here with Art.  Art will
get the chopper home.  We’ll hitch a ride with Beau. 
Don’t leave your girl.  It must fuckin scary to understand but
not be able to move.”

“Thanks Kevin.  I wasn’t letting her
go.”  He says still watching my eyes.  “Thank you
Jamie.” 

“Take tomorrow Cloud.  Get your girl
straight.”  Jamie says to him.  Cloud thanks them again
but doesn’t ever take his eyes off me. 

There’s silence until the helicopter sounds
again.  “I’m so fuckin glad Rich called.  We were almost
home.  I would have been too late if I drove it.”  He
bends and kisses my forehead. 

“I’ll set the alarm as I go out Cloud. 
Christian may sneak down to see if CJ is ok.  He doesn’t
understand what’s going on.  She got herself to the camera
Cloud, she did good.  I’ll check in tomorrow morning. 
Sally will get the older kids to school.  I’ll come by and get
the younger kids.” 

“Thanks Brother.”  Cloud’s voice sounds
funny.  I hear the door close and his motorcycle start up and
fade away.  “I’m so relieved they all left.  I just want
to hold you.  I want your first memory in this bed to be of me
holding you while you sleep.  Nothing good or bad, just
content, does that sound good?”  My vision blurs but I blink
twice.  Anything is better than that dick head’s naked body
close to mine. 

“Steve told me he went on one date with Jess and
never left her house.  He sold his and made hers bigger. 
Rich and Patches brought Tess home and she never left.  Jamie
brought Mitch to his house and she never left.  I want to be
right here with you CJ.  I’m not leaving.  I don’t ever
want to be so scared again.  I was sweating by the time I
landed the chopper.  I know I sound like a pus…wimp but I
don’t ever want to be that scared again.  I need to know your
safe, all the time every day.  I’m staying CJ.”  Holy
Shit!  I blink twice.  He pulls me into his chest. “I’m
so fuckin glad I didn’t marry Mia and stayed away from anything
like a relationship all this time. It left the door open for you.
You almost literally fell in my lap.” His voice is soft and
muffled; I can still hear him though. I don’t think he realizes it.
He loosens his arms and looks at me. “I’m not letting you go
without a fight CJ. It will be a hell of a fight, I’m a warrior.”
He smiles at me. I blink twice for him. How perfect is that, he
fell in my lap too. Well, really he threw me over his shoulder but
that’s close enough for me. “Thank you.” 

He loosens his hold more and looks away. 
“Come in Christian.  She can’t move her body but she can blink
twice for yes and once for no.”

“I don’t need her to blink.  Are you ok
CJ?”   Christian’s face appears above me.  Cloud
turns me so I can see him.  ‘Oh baby don’t worry, I’ll be ok
once the drug wears off.  Cloud is going to stay and make sure
it’s ok.’ I say in my head. 

“I was so scared.  I didn’t
understand.  I got your phone and told them to hurry.  I
didn’t know what else to do.”  He’s crying.  ‘No! 
You did everything right.  You got them here in time.  He
didn’t hurt me.’

“Thank God.  You didn’t fight him, I just
didn’t understand.  I’m so glad he didn’t hurt you. 
Cloud is staying; he won’t let anything happen to you.  You’re
staying from now on right?”  He looks at Cloud. 

“Yeah scout I am.  I’ll watch over her with
your help.  You did good tonight.  I know you must have
been scared, I was scared to death.  You kept it together and
got her help.  I’m proud of you Christian.”  Cloud pulls
Christian into him and hugs him over me.  He is staying; I’m
not letting him out the fuckin door. 

Christian laughs.  “No swearing CJ.” 
I blink the tears out of my eyes.  “She’s happy you’re
staying.”  He says to Cloud.  ‘Don’t you dare tell him
what I’m thinking!’  He smiles down at me and kisses my
cheek.  “I’m going to bed.  I love you CJ.”  He’s
gone from my view. 

“He’s a special little boy.  We have to
keep him protected.”  Cloud whispers.  I can’t see his
face; he’s looking at the door.  I think he was talking to
himself.  “I’m going to talk to Danny about him.  He
probably already knows but we need to know what we can do for
him.  Tess has Max and she still gets upset over her
visions.”  I blink twice.  He doesn’t know me and Danny
talked today.  “I’ll ask him tomorrow.  He’s one of Tess’
guides.  They brought in a parapsychologist to teach them how
to help her.  It’s like the sign language, the whole fuckin
Brotherhood signs.  There’s a whole group of people that helps
Tess.  We can get help like that for him, maybe Jeremy
too.”  He’s so friggin smart.  I blink twice.  He
kisses my head.  “Whatever it takes, that’s what we’ll
do.”  I blink twice again so friggin happy to share this with
him.  He’s willing to do this after knowing me such a short
time.  It’s funny that I’m not running the other way. 
Well, right now I can’t friggin move but it’s not even a thought
that crosses my mind.  Both Tess and Christian told me to
trust Cloud.  I never thought about not trusting him. 
Either I’m crazy or it’s meant to be.  I’m going with the
meant to be thing because he’s holding me when I can’t move so I
have a good memory of my first night in my new bed.  I close
my eyes and think of my aunt.  She would love Cloud.

“CJ, I hate to ask but do you want me to put
something on you?  I can throw one of my t-shirts on
you.  Jamie brought my flight bag in.”  He’s talking
softly.  “I have no problem holding you but you’re naked in my
arms and it’s fuckin with my head.”  He just watches me. 
My head is friggin laughing.  I blink twice.  I guess
he’s going to see me soon anyway.  At least he’ll be able to
sleep tonight.  He moves me and gets off the bed.  I lose
him but track his movements by sound.  He doesn’t make much
for such a big guy but I can hear where he is.  He leans over.
"I’ll keep you covered as much as I can, I promise."  I blink
twice.  My head is still laughing.  He gets the shirt on
me and lifts me up onto his lap.  He leans against the
headboard and watches me.  I wish I could ask him if that’s
better.  I close my eyes.  After a few minutes he kisses
my head.  “Please let her sleep in peace tonight.”  He
whispers.  My brain is smiling.