Four Feet Tall and Rising (30 page)
Read Four Feet Tall and Rising Online
Authors: Shorty Rossi
And yeah, I scream at my employees, and demand perfection out of them. Anyone who works for me, I tell them, “You can wear jeans, but you better have on nice shoes and a dress shirt. You are a representative of me.” These are my rules. They’re basically the same rules I typed up as a kid, when I was daydreaming about my British butler and my executive suite. I expect nothing less out of them than what I expect out of myself. I hold them to the same standards. I want them to work hard or go home. If I was soft-spoken and didn’t yell and had unlimited patience and didn’t push the people around me, I would not have a company. I would’ve gone bankrupt, and I sure as hell wouldn’t be on TV.
I’m the boss. I’m living proof that when you have a dream, you can do it. No matter what it is. Do it! It was my dream to be a businessman in the corporate world. Well, maybe I’m
not in the corporate world, but here I am. I accomplished the business side of the damn thing. I’ve used Facebook and social networks to build my business. Not too many people get their own reality show, and turn around and market it to make real change; to have a lasting impact on the world. I wasn’t built to be a manager at Best Buy or Walmart. I wasn’t built to be political. I understand that I’ve been built to be the face of this movement. That everything I’ve lived through in my life has prepared me and propelled me into this job, the job of promoting the breed.
Looking back, I understand that who I am today was created by what I went through. If I hadn’t had a father who was a fucking ass, if I hadn’t run away to live in the projects, if I didn’t go to prison, I wouldn’t be who I am today. I was a work in progress. My greatest triumph in life has been being me. First of all, I’m not dead. From the day that I was born, I’ve proven everyone wrong. So why not just keep proving them wrong over and over and over again?
No matter how bad your life is, it can get better. There were guys in prison who couldn’t handle being there. They killed themselves. Hung themselves from the tiers. They couldn’t see that there was an ending, that things could be better. I never considered jail to be my defeat. My life wasn’t over. I was young and I knew I’d be out at a young age. On those days, in the hole, when it seemed like hours stretched into eternity, I’d think about Nelson Mandela. He didn’t know he was going home. He didn’t know he was gonna rule the country. Just ’cause someone is a gangbanger doesn’t mean he can’t come
out on top. I always knew there was something better waiting for me outside those prison bars. I didn’t know it was pit bulls. I didn’t know it was Hollywood. But I’m grateful for both.
There will come a day when
Pit Boss
won’t be on the air, but I’m not going away. I’ll still be doing what I do. The show just gives me a platform to reach more people, and let them know what’s going on with pit bulls and Little People. But once the show is over, I will still be out in the world, doing what I do.
Pit Boss
has lit a fire underneath me. It’s brought me face-to-face with the enormity of the true and profound effect that pit bulls have on people. They are the most hated breed of dog in the world. I knew it was bad. I just never realized it was this bad.
That’s why my goal is to keep promoting the breed on a much bigger scale. I used the lessons that Dan Kolsrud taught me on the set of
Daddy Day Care
to produce
Hercules Saves Christmas
, a family movie for Christmastime, starring Hercules as Santa’s “Naughty and Nice List Maker.” Hercules was following in the paw prints of Petey from the
Little Rascals
, and I wanted to reestablish that pit bulls could star in family-friendly fare, without being the murderous, barking, foaming-at-the-mouth, dangerous dog next door. I didn’t expect one made-for-TV movie to change minds overnight, but I knew it was a good start. As soon as we wrapped principal photography, I started plotting out the sequel.
I also went back down to Nicaragua and asked A.J. if we could come out with a full line of cigars. We already had the Diesel Shorty, but I wanted to add two more cigars, the Shorty
Punisher and the San Bajito (Saint Shorty) to the mix. I also teamed with Wilson Creek Winery to create the Shorty Rossi Merlot. All the proceeds from the sales would literally go to the dogs, to ensure that our rescue operation could keep running, whether or not we had a weekly show on the air.
That’s the most important thing. To give something back, no matter what it is. You have to do something else to help out human or animal kind. Whether you are adopting kids, volunteering at the Red Cross, or the Salvation Army, or your church, you have to give back something to this world. To actually be considered a success, you gotta give a shit.
It was prison that got me thinking that way. First, with the anger management classes and victim awareness classes, but also having gone through the DUI courses really drilled that thinking into my brain. I could see that my life affected other people’s lives. My choices affected other’s people’s happiness.
That bystander I accidently shot all those years ago, I wonder if he knows who I am today. I’m not five-foot-eight with brown hair, so I would assume he would recognize me at some point, though I doubt very seriously he’s paid attention to where I landed. Would I ever look him up? No. Why not? Maybe he wants to shoot me back, I don’t know. I wouldn’t blame him if he did. He may still hold rage against me. Some people are capable of hate for their entire lives. But I hope he would see that I’ve truly changed as a person, and that I hope I can improve the world, not just for Little People or for pit bulls, but maybe inspire people to believe in their own redemption.
We are all capable of great things, but sometimes we forget
that about ourselves. We get wrapped up in our lives when outside the doors of the house, so much shit is going on. It doesn’t have to be pit bulls. It can be a bird sanctuary. It can be volunteering at the fucking zoo. It can be taking care of an elderly neighbor, or helping some kid who’s in trouble. It shouldn’t take an 8.0 earthquake or a tsunami to help the next man out. We should be doing it all the time.
We should be helping each other rise.
So, you can’t say I didn’t warn you
.
Page One, I warned you
.
I’ve got a mouth and I use it
.
It makes me friends
.
It creates enemies
.
Whether you are friend or foe, that’s up to you
.
This is just the truth of who I am
.
The man I’ve been, the man I’ve become, and the man I still hope to be
.
Who do I hope to be?
I hope to be like Valentino. Able to chew through obstacles, rip through the walls that hold me back, nose my way into every dark corner to root out the wrong and make it right
.
I hope to be like Domenico. Running wild and free through the world, showing those old corrections officers what a real escape artist looks like, unbound by the chains of my past
.
I hope to be like Mussolini. Howling until I’m hoarse, and howling some more, so I make sure everyone knows exactly what I think … and, you know, smashing a few wine bottles now and then, to cover my mug in merlot
.
I hope to be like Bebi. More openhearted, loving, and cuddlier than I look
.
I hope to be like Geisha. Mellowing with age, to become a grumpy old crank that grays around the temples and farts in inappropriate places, without apology
.
But mostly, I hope to be like Hercules. Steady, present, and able to bear the burden of this battle on broad shoulders, with patience and grace
.
That’s who I hope to be
.
A man as noble as a pit bull
.
If I can do that, turn out anything like my dogs … I’ll be proud
.
On Love and Relationships
Once you go small, you will never go tall!
What freaky stuff goes on in Shorty’s bedroom stays in Shorty’s bedroom
.
I prefer to date taller women. I love the climbing technique. It makes getting the prize more interesting
.
On Work
Get the hell out of my office!
I sweet talk, I con, I hustle, but I never give up
.
On Being a Little Person
Little people get their revenge on tall people when Hercules farts in the elevator!
I have only dated two Little People women in my life. I call one the Bride of Chucky and the other one Psycho Bitch
.
I came to the conclusion that it is okay to slap a Little Person when he tells your wife her hair smells pretty
.
Four foot nine is too tall to be short and too short to be tall. Those guys are just screwed
.
I may look harmless … until I grab your cojones
.
I love going to a crowded mall, it gives me the chance to look at a good piece of ass and not get caught
.
On Other People
I just can’t understand how many stupid people we’ve got in this world
.
I wish you would!
Everyone deserves a second chance … as long as they’re trying to change
.
Are you serious?
On Where He’s Been …
I came from my mama’s womb and my daddy’s nuts!
If Hercules could write a book, I’d be in big trouble
.
and Where He’s Going
Watch out, world, here I come!
Life will take you places you’ve never expected to go
.
Don’t take life for granted when things are going good
.
On Activism
One pit bull at a time
.
Why aren’t we punishing the humans instead of the pit bulls?
The people who run the city of Denver might as well be called Nazis!
Dogs don’t talk shit back
.
If the dog’s on a plane, it’s not a dog that’s gonna bite you. Pet the fucking dog
.
You can rescue all the pit bulls you want, but if you are not promoting the breed, you are doing nothing to change people’s minds about adopting the breed!
On Religion
A Quinceañera? Isn’t that when the young girls lose their virginity?
One time, I was at confession and the priest asked if I had my flask on me
.
I would like to thank …
Everyone at Random House for letting the world know more about me and who I am. You’ve made my dream come true. Special thanks to Julia Pastore on the Random House team.
SJ Hodges, the person who caught the words that came out of my mouth and put them on the page.
Maura Teitelbaum, the agent who gave me a chance.
Everyone at Animal Planet, especially Majorie Kaplan, Rick Holzman, Erin Wanner, Tahli Kouperstein, Michael Eisenbaum, and Amaryllis Seabrooks. You’ve given me the chance to speak to the world, and you continue to help me every day.
My producers at Intuitive. You never give up on me. Special thanks to Mechelle Collins and Kevin Dill. And for the entire production team, who has no choice but to put up with me, especially Jodi Baskerville.
My family, especially my sister Janet Burton and uncle Charles Bailey.
My friends who have been with me before I was Pit Boss, and now, including Juan Antonio Vidal Castillo, Ron and Nadine de Yong, Dawn Tarr, Linda Distante, Sam Clemente, Clay Roberts, Alex Svenson, Debbie Carrabello, Jerry Lucas (RIP), Hank Pervis Henderson, Derek Zemrak, Dan Brunning, Allison Queal, Jack Selby, Eduardo and Diana Aviles, Steve Dunn, Little Darlin, and Jeff.
My Shortywood Team. My employees and friends, you need a special mention: Ashley Brooks, Candy Clemente, Julie Marie Hernandez, Liz Fiano, Marcos Ramirez Hernandez, Brayan Castillo Borjas, Alma Castillo, Alexander Nah.
The corrections officers, counselors, and prison employees that gave me a second chance, including Celia Cruz-Reed, Vic Federico, Judy Nahigian, Jones Moore, Don Reynolds, Sonia Miller, Steve Larson, Lieutenant Centurino, Gary Gonzales (Gee), Larry Mackey, Mike Gallegos.
My legal team. You make life a little easier on me. Jeff Cohen, Craig Stien, Pilar Villazón, Tammy Vo Hamilton.
The guys I did time with. You always had my back: Tony Carrabello, Roger Clark, Kevin Fuqua, Ray Benard, Irby Davis, Lefty, J-Rock, Noel “Do-Low” Pinnock, Michael “Snake” Aaron, Odell (Big O), Big Will, Big Will (ii), Lawrence (L-Dogg), Green Eyes, Big Ike, Little Will, Sexton Davis.
And finally, thank you to my priest, Father William Raymond. It always takes his entire afternoon to hear my confession.
Shorty Rossi
is the star of Animal Planet’s
Pit Boss;
the owner of Shortywood Entertainment, a talent management company for Little People; and the owner of Shorty’s Pit Bull Rescue.