Fourth Down and Dirty: A Bad Boy Sports Romance (31 page)

It had taken some effort
on his part, but Ferris had finally gotten everyone in the band to agree to
perform a farewell concert at AT&T Park before the band relocated to New
York. It helped that each of them had some reason to care about San Francisco,
given it was their hometown and where they had gotten started.

Hayden had locked
himself in his hotel room for the last few hours and Gina was starting to feel
remorseful for her impulsive – and perhaps unfair – behavior earlier. She had
assumed Hayden’s feelings for me were fleeting, but the more she mulled things
over the worse she started to feel. Despite all the horrible things she had
done to me, even she had a decent side to her. And that decent side was
starting to speak up inside her head.

 
She couldn’t help but feel like she had ruined
something beautiful out of pettiness and jealousy, and for all that it was
probably too late to fix it, she owed it to Hayden to tell him the truth. Deep
down, she had always known Hayden was out of her reach. Denial had been her best
way to cope with it, but she knew it had all gone too far. This wasn’t the
person Gina wanted to be.

 
“Hayden, we need to talk.” Gina said, finally
breaking the silence.

“Ugh, I don’t want
to talk, about anything, ever again.”

 
“I lied.”

Hayden instantly
sat up and looked at her. “What?”

“In Machu Picchu.
I lied.”

“What are you
talking about?”

She took a deep
breath, bracing herself to be completely honest with Hayden. “Ali never intended
for any of this to happen. From what I can gather she genuinely did just want
to get Via Mace’s face changed so she could go back to her normal life as a –
whatever it is she does for a living. I know she caused your long unemployment,
but it was inadvertent on her end as far as I can tell. And to be quite honest,
she and Ferris were just old college friends catching up, they were never even
in a relationship.” She paused for a second, then added, “and yes, for what
it’s worth, I believe she genuinely cares about you.”

Hayden sat stunned
on the bed, clearly taking all of this in. Finally, he opened his mouth. “Why
would you lie to me like this?” Hayden’s voice carried clear hurt in it, and he
stared at her with the eyes of someone who had been betrayed.

“I’m sorry,” Gina
said, feeling truly wretched. She had thought she was doing the right thing, at
first, but she got carried away. Even if it had been the right thing
for her
at that moment, she wanted to
believe it was the best for him as well. She had been blinded by her desire to
remove me from the equation. “I thought your feelings were just – well. It
doesn’t matter why. What I did was wrong, and I’m sorry.”

Hayden laid still
for a moment longer, then leapt off the bed, grabbed his briefcase, and dashed
out the door.

Hayden silently
thanked whatever deities might be listening for the fact that he had all-access
passes to the concert so he could talk to Ferris beforehand. He felt awful for
thoughtlessly believing Gina, and even worse for picking a fight with me and
insulting me without even listening to my side. He was sure that I was still
too angry with him to be receptive of an apology from him, but Ferris was there
also and deserved an apology just as much as I did. Hayden knew he could be a
complete asshole sometimes, especially under stress. But that wasn’t the man he
wanted to be—not for me.

I was sure to be
at the concert, and he’d have a much easier time tracking me down there than he
would before the concert. The Close Callers were too good to miss, and since
Ferris and I went way back, there was no way I wouldn’t show up.

Hayden managed to
slip back stage just in time to see Ferris open the door to his changing room.

“Ferris,” Hayden
called out, almost in a near panic to catch him before he closed the door.
Ferris turned around with an instant look of shock. He stared at Hayden in
disbelief.

“What are you
doing here?” His tone wasn’t unfriendly, only taken aback, and he looked at
Hayden with curiosity.

Hayden swallowed.
“I came to apologize, I was wrong to accuse you and Ali of all that. I was
acting on bad and incomplete information, but I still should have been
thoughtful enough to talk to both of you before assuming the worst.”

“I appreciate the
apology,” Ferris said, clearly still confused.

“I know you guys
are just old friends from college, now, and that’s… good. That’s really good.
Friendship is a beautiful thing, and it’s wonderful to rediscover someone from
your past, and…” Hayden stopped for an instant and ran his hands through his
hair. He was too keyed up and rambling to notice how nervous he was acting.
“The truth is, this whole thing with Ali and Mind Lash has stressed me to the
max and really put me through the wringer. I know that’s no excuse, and that’s
not the man I want to be for her. I’ve completely fallen for her and I’ve got
to find a way to make it right between us.”

Hayden paused and
drew a deep breath in. He had just realized he was pouring his heart out to a
famous rock star he barely knew. He probably looked like a crazy person. Hayden
nonchalantly cleared his throat, as if nothing unusual had happened, and
reached into his pocket to pull out a piece of paper.

“I found this
amazing song of Ali’s, she’s convinced that it’s no good, but I’m sure your
band could do it justice.”

“What are you
saying?” Ferris just stood there watching as Hayden held out the piece of
paper.

“Take it,” he
said, thrusting the paper toward him. As he took the song, Hayden sucked in a deep
breath, “Please, please play it tonight. For Ali.” The plea in Hayden’s voice
was obvious. “I’ve got to go find her now.” Hayden mumbled his goodbyes as he
swiftly started to leave the room.

“Hayden!” Ferris
called out just before he rounded the corner out of the dressing room. Hayden
stuck his head back around the corner.

“She’s special
Hayden. She’s a wonderful woman—truly one of a kind. Take care of her.”

A smile warmed
Hayden’s face as he gave Ferris a reassuring nod. “I will.” Hayden could see a
bit of sadness on Ferris’ face as the two men stared at each other in mutual
understanding.

To Ferris I was
‘the one that got away’. He had already come to terms with that. To see Hayden,
a once confident and suave man, turned into a train wreck from his emotions
changed something inside of Ferris. He could tell that Hayden cared for me
deeply. It was written all over his face. There was something special between
Hayden and I. He didn’t want to step in the way of that. Even though it was sad
to finally let me go, he had a feeling I was in good hands.

I had managed to
lose myself in the crowd as everyone listened to The Close Callers playing up
on the stage. It was so good to do something other than dwell on my painful
emotions. Instead I wanted to listen to music, dance with strangers, and admire
my long-time friend at his concert. I was impressed by how
well
Ferris’ life had turned out and how happy he seemed with his musical career.

I drew in a deep
breath and closed my eyes as the warm evening air kissed my cheeks. I was
finally starting to find some peace, just like I had for a brief moment that
Machu Picchu.

Suddenly Ferris
and The Close Callers launched into the beginning notes of a song I knew well –
all too well. It was the song I had written, the song that Hayden had
discovered, the song that Hayden had the sheer gall to take and praise even
though it was utter crap. My mood took a sudden downswing. Hearing Ferris play
the first notes stung with pain. It was a song I had written about Hayden. I
couldn’t ever escape that man!

I stood there in
the middle of the crowd with my eyes clenched shut as I tried to fight back
tears. The crowd was clearly captivated to hear a song they had never heard
before. Just as I opened my eyes I caught a glimpse of
him
out of the corner of my eye, trying desperately to make his way
through the crowd towards me.

I snorted and
edged my way towards the other side of the wall, seeking only to get out of the
suddenly claustrophobic crowd. I had to admit that Close Callers actually made
my crappy little song sound – okay. Good, even, if I was feeling generous.
Which I wasn’t. But still, Hayden had no right to invade every aspect of my
life like he had.

Just as I thought
I had gotten away clean, Hayden appeared out of nowhere at my left shoulder.

“Ali, I’m so
sorry, please hear me out
– ”
was all that I could
make out over the roar of the crowd. He looked sincerely sorry, but I was hurt
and angry and done with his entire nonsense.

“How dare you speak
to me after everything you’ve done?” I almost regretted those words the moment
they came out of my mouth – his face twisted with pain and he swayed on the
spot – but I couldn’t stop myself from speaking. “You gave Ferris my
song
? You accuse me of using you to get
to Ferris and then what? you think you can make everything better by giving him
my song? The song that you had
no right
to see
in the first place? And even if I’d let you look at it, I should
have been the one to choose what to do with it, not you! I can’t believe you,
Hayden!”

He opened his
mouth, presumably to defend himself, but I flung my hands up in the air. “You
have hurt me terribly, and you have invaded every aspect of my life and
privacy, and I just… I absolutely cannot deal with you.”

With those words I
turned on my heel and left just as The Close Callers were singing the last line
of my song— “We never had a chance.”

For a brief
moment, Hayden was panicked. I had stormed off into the crowd and he didn’t see
where I had gone. Then it hit him. On the night of the yacht party when we had
first gotten close, the first time he had felt something toward me, I had told
him my favorite place to go in the city.

As the yacht
silently crept underneath the Golden Gate Bridge, I had mentioned that spot at
Fort Point was the best spot in the city. Then I promptly threatened him not to
steal it from me the way he had stolen my face. Back then, the two of us shared
an unlikely laugh and even more unlikely sparks. Now, he was heading over there
in a rush to try and save our relationship– if it could even be called that.

I was leaning
against a short, brick pillar overlooking the water right at the curve of the
paved path. The night was surprisingly calm with nobody in sight. Hayden walked
up to me, but I heard his footsteps before he had a chance to speak. I turned
to look at him and then promptly looked away.

 
“Why can’t you just leave me alone?” I asked
as I felt the familiar urge to cry bubble up inside of me. I felt completely
defeated.
 

His heart broke.
It seemed like everything that had happened from the moment Via Mace was
unveiled to the world until now had beaten him down. There was no way he didn’t
feel responsible for that. He couldn’t understand why he’d been so cruel to me,
why he had lacked so much compassion for my situation. He had crossed so many
lines it was impossible to keep count.

“I’m sorry,” he
said against a heavy swallow.

“I’m too angry
with you to accept an apology,” I shot back. I still wasn’t looking at him. I
wasn’t screaming; in fact, I was barely audible to him at all. “You had to mess
everything up in my life and then make it even worse by trying to play the
hero, or whatever it was you were trying to accomplish. It would have just been
better if…” I trailed off and sighed, clearly unwilling to finish what I was
saying. I was starting to feel like anything I said was pointless.

My eyes traced
along the glimmering reflection of the Golden Gate Bridge lights. The water was
calm and warmed by the yellow reflection dancing on its surface.

 
“If I had never come into your life at all?”
He said, trying to finish my sentence.

 
I didn’t answer. He took that to mean he was
correct and he felt a deep pang of sadness. It was too late.

“I just…” I
finally said after a very long period of silence. I gulped against a dry
throat. “I just want to lead my own life for once instead of letting other
people control it,” I admitted.

Hayden was taken
aback. Despite everything, I had just been incredibly vulnerable. Maybe it
wasn’t too late to save things, but he couldn’t tell. All he knew was that he
didn’t want to make things worse.

“I’m so sorry,” he
told me again. I could see the quiver in his face and the wet gleam in his
eyes. He was clearly holding back his emotions the best he could. “I had to
come back and find you, to tell you the truth.”

“The truth? What
else could possibly be said Hayden?” I stared at him, my own eyes beginning
to
wet.

“I did terrible
things to you when I tried to make sense of my own feelings. I am truly sorry
for that. After I admitted that to myself I figured out the truth.” He looked
back up at me with hurt in his eyes.

“It was you Ali.
That’s why I didn’t want to change Via Mace. At first it was about business,
but after that night we spent together it was about
you
. I never thought I had a chance in hell with you after that
night. Deep down inside I felt that if I kept Via Mace the way she was I’d have
a small piece of you in my life. The posters, the movies, the games—her face
was everywhere.
You
were everywhere.
I didn’t want to let that go. I know it’s wrong and I know it’s selfish. I’m
sorry Ali.”

A tear tickled
down the side of my cheek as I watched him pour his heart out to me. I sucked
in a deep breath. I wanted to say something, but it felt like there was a
two-ton weight on my chest.

“I loved your
song, but I think you were wrong when you said ‘we never had a chance.’ It’s
not that we never had a chance. We just never
gave
each other a chance.” There was something about his words that
hurt. He was right.

“It may take some
time, but I’ll change Via Mace. I promise.” With that he turned around and
walked off into the night.

I let out a long
breath, eyes slowly closing as relief spread over every inch of my body. It
felt like the nightmare had ended. The weight on my shoulders lightened and
suddenly my ears honed in on the distant sounds of the city. I was no longer
the captive of the life my brother had mapped out for me nor would I be the prisoner
of the chaotic life Via Mace had created.

 
I opened my eyes and looked out onto the
water, the reflection of the lights of the Golden Gate Bridge twinkling on the
placid surface. My stomach churned and my relief turned sour in an instant. I
wanted to lead my life, I wanted to be independent…but I wanted more than that.

Without thinking,
I turned and ran a few steps, “Hayden!”

I saw his figure
stop and turn slowly to face me. I knew what I really wanted.

What I really
wanted was him.

Even after everything
that had happened between us, the million emotions zinging around inside of me
were undeniable.

 
“Hayden!” I called out again, taking a couple
steps toward him.
 

Then I broke into
a full sprint toward him. He stretched his arms out and my body practically
slammed into his. My eyes clenched shut as he held me tight. I drew in his
scent with one breath and knew everything was going to be alright. I pulled my
head away from his chest and looked up into his eyes, eyes that glittered blue
and calm even in the dark of night. Without a word, he leaned in slowly to
bridge the gap between us.

Our lips met in
the most fiery-long-overdue kiss either of us had ever experienced.

And there, under
the Golden Gate Bridge, where our first spark was lit, the two of us kissed
with glimmering lights surrounding us and endless possibilities ahead.

Now was
our
chance.

The chance we gave
each other.

The End