Fox Dish (Madison Wolves #6) (23 page)

"Yes," he said.

"Were you wrong?"

"Yes."

"And why were you wrong?"

"Because I underestimated you." He paused. "The main targets were not the enforcers; the main targets were Brody Mortens and Johnny Mack. A direct assault on their home would have led to deaths."

"And yet, I succeeded in killing six enforcers as well as Misters
Mortens and Mack. Could I have done so if I had not attended to my personal safety in the process?"

"I don't know."

"Anyone? Does anyone want to argue I was foolhardy while killing the enforcers?"

"I will not dismiss the charges," Daniel said.

"Fine. I have made my point, I believe. So that leaves protecting my young and protecting the pack." I turned to Lara. "Would you again read the letter I left you?"

She read the letter, and when she was done, I asked, "What reason did I give for moving forward with my plan?"

Lara again read the pertinent part of the letter.

We will never be safe when people believe they can mess with us and get what they want from doing so. Lessons must be taught. I cannot allow any wolves to believe they can kidnap a member of our pack and live to tell the tale. As long as any of them is alive, our babies are not safe.

I will make our babies safe.

I turned to Elisabeth. "During one of our phone calls, I asked you if I was wrong.
It was the phone call you told me I would be banished. Did you argue I was wrong?"

"I told you half of them would be dead from the impending implosion."

"And I argued that still left the other half, who would now be desperate and looking for trouble. I also argued the rumors they spread about the weak women of Madison would cause us widespread trouble. Did you argue that I was wrong?"

"No," she said.

I turned to Greg. "You and I had a similar conversation. Did you argue I was wrong?"

"No," he said.

I faced Lara. "Is the pack safer with those wolves dead?"

"Yes," she said.

"Is the pack reputation stronger because those wolves are dead?"

"Yes."

I turned back to Greg. "What rumors did I ask you to spread once this was all over?"

"That the Madison pack was under your protection, and anyone who messed with them would get a visit from you."

"I was not derelict in my duties!" I stated firmly. And then I thundered, "I was doing my duty!" I pointed at Lara. "I was doing your duty, and yours," I said, pointing to Elisabeth. "Those wolves were a continued threat to me, to my babies, and to the entire pack. I put them down like the rabid dogs they were, and I would do it again!"

Daniel didn't even yell at me for my tone, but I caught Brooke nodding. "Alpha," she said quietly. "I would have done the same thing, no matter how firmly you forbid it. And you know it."

"Hush, daughter," he said. He turned back to me.

I looked at the clock. "Perhaps it is time for a break."

* * * *

Over lunch, I reviewed my notes. I felt fairly good so far. I was going to go for a complete acquittal, but I was sure I'd be found guilty of at least a few of the charges. I had, after all, been insubordinate.

When we reconvened, Daniel again asked if there were issues to discuss before we proceeded.

"Why is Brooke here?" I asked suddenly. "Is she your bodyguard, Alpha?"

"No," Brooke said quietly. "I am your potential executioner."

"Oh," I said in a small voice. I had assumed it would be Elisabeth, but then perhaps Lara couldn't have handled that. "Well," I said more cheerfully. "I intend to make this a wasted week for you."

"I would be very pleased if you did," she replied.

"All right," I said. "Everything I said about killing the enforcers goes over twice for Brody
Mortens and Johnny Mack."

"You were not seeing to your safety," Lara said immediately. "Johnny Mack nearly killed you."

"Oh please," I said. "I engineered every second of that fight. I was surprised by his speed, but he was still slower than either you or Elisabeth, and with my knives, I can take either of you three times out of four, and I can do it at the end of a long sparring session when I'm tired. He was child's play."

"He nearly killed you!" Lara screamed at me. "Michaela, he nearly killed you."

I turned to Wendy. "How would you have categorized my emotional state at the start of the fight?"

"Confident."

"Excuse me. I'm not asking for your interpretation after the fact. I am asking about your impression at the start of the fight."

"Oh, my apologies. You smelled terrified. Far, far more terrified than you did last week."

"What else?"

"Your hands were shaking.
"

"And once the fight started?"

"You acted like prey," she said. "You didn't even draw your knives."

I turned away from her, looked around the room,
then set my gaze on Christopher West. I walked around the outside of the room until I was standing in front of him. "Mr. West, would you stand, please?"

"Why?"

"You're not afraid of me, are you?" I asked. I didn't show him I had a sharpened pencil hidden in each hand.

"Of course not," he said. He stood up and puffed out his chest.

I imagined him as Johnny Mack, but even bigger and faster. I imagined him as the fastest, strongest wolf I had ever encountered, and I knew, absolutely knew he wanted me dead.

"Well?" he asked after a minute.

I continued to imagine him as a threat. Then I imagined what would happen to my babies if this asshole managed to get rid of me, and immediately I felt my heart rate increase. I thought about Flora and Fauna, dead now so many years, and the wolves who had killed them. I imagined Christopher West as one of those wolves, come back from the dead to kill Rebecca and Celeste, my lovely, lovely little wolf babies.

My heart began to pound, and I felt the adrenalin moving through my system.

I thought about the photos Elisabeth had shown me last fall, photos of gravestones with Rebecca's and Celeste's names on them.

I began panting in my fear.

I knew, I absolutely knew, if I died, my babies would die.

I backed away from Christopher West, slowly backed away, sliding past Daniel and
Brooke.

I could hear Lara's heart rate, increasing in response to my clear fear. I couldn't smell my fear yet, but I knew I had to be giving out fear scent.

Finally I took several deep breaths. "It takes a while to calm down when I do that," I said, trying to be calm. I looked at Lara. "There is no threat, honey. You can calm down. I am safe."

She nodded, but I saw Elisabeth's hand on her arm, and I knew it had been difficult for her to stay seated while I had displayed such clear signs of panic.

"Daniel," I said. "I can't smell myself."

"You stink of fear. It is nearly overwhelming." I looked, and his hands were gripping the edge of his chair. So were Brooke's and Serena's.

"It affects all of you so strongly?" I asked.

"Yes," Daniel said. "We all want to protect you, and we're not even sure from what."

I took several more deep breaths, then I threw the two pencils onto the desk. "What affect do you suppose it had on Johnny Mack?" I asked, the question rhetorical. "I believe a short recess would be appropriate. You can air out the room. I will shower. Do I need fresh clothes?"

"
Yes," Daniel said. "Go. Someone will bring you a change."

Wendy and Cameron beat me to the door and hurried in my wake as I headed
to the bathroom, shedding clothes on the way. At the bathroom door, I turned. "I'll need a sniff test in fifteen minutes."

Wendy nodded. "I'll
fetched fresh clothes for you then step in. You know the cameras will need to be on."

"I don't care," I said.

* * * *

"My apologies," I said once everyone was back in place.
I stood at the end of the table wearing a fresh blouse and black skirt, my hair pulled back and still wet.

"I would like to understand your demonstration," Daniel said
.

I smiled. "Does anyone doubt my ability to generate a fear response on command?"

Christopher West puffed out his chest. "You were terrified of me. As you should be."

"God, you're an idiot," Wendy said before she could hold it in.

"Silence!" Daniel said to her. "Oh hell, everyone was thinking it. Michaela, the pencils were surrogate knives?"

"Who wants to see how quickly I can kill with them?"

"I wouldn't mind," Scarlett muttered.

"No more comments like that, Scarlett," Lara said.

"Yes, Alpha," she replied. She didn't look at all contrite.

I turned to Wendy. "Did you get a chance to judge Johnny Mack?"

"Yes, I believe so."

"Your assessment?"

"Big. Strong. Long, long reach. Deadly to anyone untrained."

"Better than you?"

She laughed. "No. He was an amateur. He was big, strong, and with a long reach. He was relatively fast, but nearly everyone in this room is faster. But this room is filled with the elite."

"Who in the room is fastest, that you've seen?" I asked her.

"You mean after you?" she asked.

I looked around. "Without my knives, every wolf in the room can take me. Even Scarlett, and she
is untrained. With my knives, the results are different. Do I need to prove it, or have I done so sufficiently in the past?"

I looked at Lara. "
He almost killed you, Michaela," she said.

"I let him believe he was going to win becau
se it amused me to do so, Lara. I displayed a fear scent to ensure neither Brody Mortens or Johnny Mack backed out. That left me with an adrenalin overdose, resulting in the shakes, so I took my time at the beginning while flushing the adrenalin out of my system. I needed some time to calm down. But after that, I could have killed him several times over, especially once I let him finally catch me. He didn't want a quick kill. He wanted to beat me up for a while first. My evidence is simple. I am here. He is not. And my win was decisive."

"You have been given repeated orders to see to your safety," she said. "I wish to add another charge of aggravated insubordination for letting the fight drag on longer than necessary. That is dangerous."

I sighed. I couldn't argue against that.

I turned to Daniel. "I believe I have addressed all charges of dereliction of duty."

He nodded.

I stepped away from the table, considering the remaining charges. Finally I turned back. "It would be ridiculous to charge me with extreme insubordination for not accepting a security detail."

"It is an ironic charge," Daniel admitted. "Are you asking it be dismissed?"

"No," I said. "From the very beginning, I have repeatedly stated to almost anyone who would listen that I am responsible for my own safety. I accept help from time to time, but by and large, I am responsible for my own safety. Not Lara, not Elisabeth, not Serena. And thus, I am the final arbiter of when I require a security detail and when I do not."

"And look how wrong you were this past October," Elisabeth said.

"Quite," I s
aid. "I trusted the wrong wolf." I went on. "I am the one responsible for my safety, and I reject the notion that a security team can be forced on me against my will." I stared at Daniel. "I reject the notion that I am a prisoner whose movements can be limited through the decisions of anyone else. I have free will and I will continue to exercise it."

I looked at Lara. "We have fought over this since the beginning of our relationship. Has my position been clear?"

"Yes. Has mine?"

"When I was invited
to the pack, if you told me I could face charges of insubordination for ditching my security detail, do you think I would have accepted?"

"No," she said quietly.

"When I talked to you and Elisabeth prior to accepting pack membership, we discussed how I would respond if you became heavy-handed over my personal choices." I looked around the room and raised an eyebrow.

Lara paused before responding. "Whether you like it or not, I am responsible for your safety. You knew that was my position before accepting the offer to join the pack. Furthermore, you knew how protective I was, and you knew that while I don't want to be heavy-handed, as alpha I have the right. It is my responsibility to protect you as I best see fit, and it is my right to order you to accept your protection detail."

We glared at each other. My heart was pounding in anger. I turned away and tried to pull my emotions back under control. I remained angry, but I reigned it in enough I could control my words. I turned back around and took a large breath of air.