Fractured (8 page)

‘Tony,’ she said, starting to cry. ‘I’m so, so sorry …’

‘Thanks,’ he said, as he hugged her. He gently extricated himself. ‘Thanks for coming …’

‘Oh, of course … I just wish … You know, I wanted to come over when he was born, but I wanted to give you space, and she said,
she said not to. And now … I never even got to meet him!’

Tony felt his own tears threatening to escape as Wendy covered her face with her hands and sobbed. He cleared his throat and
looked over at his dad, who stared at the floor. Just then, Ursula walked into the room and handed Tony a beer. He gripped
the foam stubby holder and took a gulp.

‘Wendy, can I get you another glass of wine?’ Ursula said, putting her hand on Wendy’s shoulder. Wendy took a deep breath,
nodded, and picked up her empty glass from the floor beside the couch. Ursula walked over to the half-empty bottle of wine
on the walnut sideboard and poured two glasses.

Jim raised his own bottle of beer as if he was going to propose a toast, then let it drop again. ‘It’s been a long couple
of days.’

Everyone nodded, then Wendy looked up at Tony. ‘How’s Anna?’

He shook his head. How could he explain it? If he hadn’t seen her for himself, he’d never have believed it. ‘Not good. She
was still sleeping when I left this morning, conked out on some medication they gave her. I haven’t been able to speak to
her.’ He closed his eyes for a moment. ‘They moved her to the … psychiatry ward.’ He waited for Wendy to protest, to gasp
in horror, but she just nodded. Was he the only one who thought she shouldn’t be there?

‘I heard. I called the hospital earlier but they said I couldn’t visit until after her rest time.’ Wendy wiped tears from
her eyes. ‘I’m sure the doctors know what they’re doing.’

He nodded, but his face started to flush as he thought of the letter in his bag.

‘Does she know about Jack?’ Wendy asked, almost whispering.

He shook his head. He was too tired to piece everything together, and he wasn’t sure he really wanted to try. ‘I don’t know.
I have no idea what she knows.’

‘Dear God,’ said Ursula, under her breath. ‘Well, we need to go and see her. They can’t keep her family away. Wendy, Tony
can take you.’

He picked at the label on his beer bottle, avoiding his mum’s gaze. ‘They have rules, Mum. She’s in the locked ward.’

Ursula frowned. ‘The locked ward?’

‘I’m sure that doesn’t mean anything, love,’ Jim said.

‘Why is she locked up?’

‘Mum, surely you can work it out.’ He slammed his beer bottle down on the coffee table. ‘They think she’s dangerous.’ He let
out a laugh that was close to a cry.

Ursula opened her mouth to speak, but Jim caught her eye and shook his head. She closed it again and looked at Wendy, who
was sitting forward with her hands over her face.

‘She’ll need some clothes,’ he said quietly, looking at Wendy.

Wendy sniffed and wiped her cheeks. ‘Of course. Where —’

‘I’ve got a bag in the car. Just a few things, her toothbrush and shampoo. She hates the stuff they give you in hotels – I
can’t imagine the hospital having anything she likes. And some expensive soap that she uses when she wants a treat.’

‘That sounds great, Tony.’

‘And a book – you know what she’s like, always reading …’

‘Well, let me just wash my face and we can go now.’

He looked at Wendy. ‘I can’t.’

‘Can’t what?’ Ursula said.

‘I can’t visit her. Not now. I’m just …’ He stood up. He didn’t want to explain. He needed to sort things out in his own head
before he could see Anna. He didn’t know what to say to her, what to ask her. This morning, he’d been so certain that he knew
what had happened, but now nothing made any sense. ‘I just want to be on my own for a while.’

Jim stood up and put his hand on Tony’s shoulder. ‘Fair enough, Tony. It’s only been a day since … well, you know. She’ll
still be there in the morning.’ He looked at Wendy. ‘I’ll take you to the hospital to see her, Wendy, and you can let Tony
know if there’s any change.’

‘Of course. I’ll just be a couple of minutes.’ Wendy stood up and walked out of the room.

‘Thanks, Dad.’

Jim nodded. ‘Give me your car keys. I’ll go and get Anna’s bag and put it in my car.’

Ursula began clearing up the glasses and bottles. He held out the keys for his dad and whispered, to no one in particular,
‘I’m sorry.’

* * *

When Jim and Wendy had left for the hospital, and Tony had gone home, Ursula made herself a piece of warm, buttery toast.
She wiped crumbs from her lips as she leaned on the kitchen bench. Her back ached, and her jaw felt stiff and frozen as she
chewed. She forced herself to swallow, then picked up the plate and dropped the second half of the toast in the bin. She opened
the dishwasher and started to stack it with the dirty dishes scattered all over the kitchen. Why couldn’t people put things
straight in there instead of leaving them in the sink? It just created extra work for her. She screwed up her face as she
poured the dregs of Wendy’s wine away, then noticed the pink lipstick stain on the glass. She sighed; she’d have to wash that
off by hand.

Half an hour later, she heard Jim’s ute pull up. She realised that she was still standing by the sink, staring at the mess.
She closed her eyes, enjoying the last moment of solitude before he trudged into the kitchen.

‘Did they let Wendy in to see Anna?’ she asked when he came in and perched on a stool. She noticed the dark shadows under
his eyes.

‘Yeah. No problem. I was going to wait, but Emily called
her. She’s going to meet her at the hospital, then go back to her apartment tonight. They’ll pick up her stuff on the way.’

‘Good.’

Jim raised his eyebrows. Ursula continued stacking the dishwasher. ‘Are you OK?’ he said.

‘As well as can be expected.’ She closed the dishwasher door while the drawers were still pulled out; the dishes crashed against
each other. She knew Jim hadn’t done anything wrong, but she had no energy left to be polite.

Jim slid off his stool and started to help. ‘Don’t worry about cleaning up now, love, sit down. You must be exhausted.’

She spun around. ‘Yes, I
am
exhausted! We’ve been running around after everyone, worrying about Wendy and Anna, and being all nice and supportive. But
who’s supporting us? We’ve lost our grandson, our son has lost his son, and everyone seems to have forgotten that!’

‘Hey!’ Jim moved towards her. He put his arms around her shoulders and rubbed her back, but she shrugged him off.

‘Everyone’s forgetting about him, Jim.’ She dropped her head to her chest. ‘Poor little baby. Poor little Jack.’ She clenched
her eyes shut, wiping away a tear. ‘I just have this horrible feeling about it.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, what if she
did
do it?’

‘Do what? We have no idea —’

‘You know what I’m saying – don’t be so naive. She’s locked up in a psychiatric hospital for God’s sake. They must think she
—’

‘Don’t say that! We don’t know what happened. Like Tony said, she could have been mugged, attacked. We just don’t know.’

She let herself cry. She wanted to agree with Jim. But no matter how much she prayed that Anna had had nothing to do with
Jack’s death, she couldn’t ignore the gnawing feeling that she could have done it. It wasn’t impossible.

She bit her lip. ‘Jim, what if she
did
? Jack was just a tiny baby! Poor Anthony, how’s he ever going to get over this?’

‘Love —’

‘Well, I’m telling you, if it was her fault, she shouldn’t just get away with it. I don’t care if she’s sick.’

‘Ursula, stop!’ Jim reached out and hugged her, firmly this time. ‘We’re all worn out, we’re all grieving. Let’s just wait
and see. We’re a family – we’re all in this together.’

She relaxed a little in Jim’s embrace, but she couldn’t let it go. ‘Well, we can’t just sit around pretending it didn’t happen.
There are things to be done, a funeral to organise …’ She started to crumple. ‘I’m so worried about Anthony.’

‘Oh love, give him time. He’ll get there.’

‘There is no time!’ she said. ‘There are so many things to do. The police, the doctors, they won’t wait! It feels like I’m
the one having to deal with it all. It’s hard for me too …’

Jim pulled her closer. For a moment she tensed and started to protest, then gave in and clung to him. Jim kissed the top of
her head. ‘And you’re doing a brilliant job, love. Tony knows that. Everyone deals with things differently.’

She brushed at her cheeks again. ‘I know, I know … But I don’t want to see Anna. Not yet. Not until we know a bit more.’

‘That’s fine, no one’s asking you to. Go and wash your face. I’ll finish up in here. We’ll get through this.’

She nodded and walked towards the bathroom. Jim was right: they would get through this. It was her job as a mother to make
sure Tony did too.

* * *

Tony balanced a carton of beer on his knee and pressed the intercom button for Sean’s apartment.

‘Hello?’ said a voice.

He looked straight at the camera. ‘Hi, mate.’

‘Tony! Come up.’

Lifting the carton onto his shoulder he pushed the gate with his hip as he balanced a half-bottle of vodka under the other
arm. He struggled up the stairs to the third floor, and walked through the open door. The news blared from the television,
and Sean was
perched on the edge of the couch eating a burger and chips. His work shirt was untucked, and his red hair was dishevelled.

He looked up, licking the salt off his fingers. ‘Come in, mate. What’s up? Don’t usually see you on a school night.’

‘Want a drink?’ Tony wrenched open the top of the cardboard box and pulled out a six-pack. He cracked the lids off two bottles
with the bottle opener on his key ring and handed one to Sean. After taking a long swig of his beer, he opened a cupboard
and found two glasses. ‘Vodka?’ he offered.

Sean laughed. ‘Bit much for me, mate, I’ll stick with the beer. Got work in the morning. As do you.’ He wrapped what was left
of his food in the paper bag it had come in and stood up to put it in the bin. ‘You OK?’

Tony rummaged in the fridge. ‘You got any juice?’

‘Nah. Should be a can of Coke in there somewhere, though.’

‘Doesn’t matter.’ He closed the fridge door, then twisted the top off the vodka bottle and half-filled one of the glasses.
He took a big gulp, then coughed.

‘Tony! What’s going on?’ Sean said, frowning.

He finished the glass and coughed again. He pulled out one of the kitchen stools and sat down with his beer. Shaking his head,
he looked up at Sean. ‘I don’t know where to start.’ His voice cracked. He really didn’t know how to say it. ‘Anna’s in hospital.’

Sean’s eyes widened. ‘Oh shit. What happened? Is she all right?’

He shook his head again. ‘She’s in the psychiatric ward.’

Sean raised his eyebrows. ‘I’m sorry to hear that, mate.’

‘And Jack …’ Tony couldn’t continue.

‘What? What about Jack?’

He bit his lip; he had to say it out loud. ‘Jack’s gone.’

‘Gone? What do you mean, gone?’

‘Gone.’

Sean’s face froze. ‘Gone as in missing, or …?’

Tony rubbed at a spot on the kitchen bench with his thumb. ‘The second option.’

Sean’s mouth opened, then closed again. His face leached of colour. ‘He died? Is that what you mean?’ He gasped. ‘Jesus. What
happened?’

Tony’s eyes filled with tears. ‘I don’t know. I just can’t understand it. Yesterday morning everything was fine. I went to
work, then my mum went over to the house but they were gone and we couldn’t find them, then they found her, but Jack’s —’

‘Shit. Mate, I … But how? Was Jack sick? I didn’t know —’

‘No, he wasn’t sick.’ He stared at Sean. ‘He was perfect.’

Sean was pale. He shook his head slowly. ‘I can’t believe it. I’m so sorry. But I don’t understand …’

Tony cleared his throat; the whole length of his gullet burned from the alcohol. He couldn’t let himself think about Jack
in any detail, to picture his face or his smile or his cry; he had to just stick to the facts, to what he knew for certain.
‘I don’t know what happened. They were found at the beach – looks like they fell down a cliff. Anna’s covered in bruises,
and she’s in some kind of … trance, she won’t say anything. And Jack … There’ll be an autopsy. Mate, I looked everywhere for
them! But I was too late.’ He stared at the wall across from him.

‘Jesus. I don’t know what to say. How’s Anna?’

‘Not good. I don’t know, they’ve done tests and scans and they say she’s not hurt but if you saw her … She’s just lying there,
not saying anything. It’s like I’m not even there.’ Tony felt his cheeks start to redden with guilt at the thought of Anna
lying in that hospital bed, wondering where he was, when he was here, drinking. He should be with her. But he couldn’t be.
Not tonight. Besides, Wendy was there.

He lowered his head. ‘The police are involved.’

‘Why? What do you mean?’

‘Well, that’s what I mean, it’s ridiculous! She just wouldn’t have done that —’

‘Wait.’ Sean held his right hand up, palm open. ‘What are you talking about? Done what?’

It was such a relief to hear the shock in Sean’s voice; it proved to him that he wasn’t crazy for believing in his wife. ‘Get
this: they all seem to think that maybe she did it deliberately, like she went there with a plan to kill him – I have no idea
what they’re thinking. Everyone keeps asking me if she’d ever tried to hurt him, or herself, and if she’d been depressed,
and was she on tablets. They’ve locked her in this mental ward, and she even has a fucking policeman guarding her!’

‘Oh mate, there’s no way …’

‘I know! Jesus, she wanted to have a baby so bad, and she was so happy. You saw her when Jack was born – at the hospital,
remember? – she couldn’t stop smiling or staring at him.’

‘Tony, come and sit down over here.’ Sean put his arm around his friend, guiding him to the sofa. He picked up the remote
and switched off the television. ‘Think I will have that vodka with you, after all.’ He walked back over to the kitchen area
and reached up into the cupboard for a glass. He poured himself a nip of vodka, then opened two more beers as Tony kept talking,
staring at his lap.