Fragile Hearts (5 page)

My aquatics class is my favorite and while I'm
warming up with my aide, Mrs. Metcalf calls for everyone's attention.

She stands at the side of the pool and waves
some brochures she's holding. She looks directly at me and grins. "I've
got the information about this year's Paralympics. Anyone who wants to
participate should see me after class. We've got until the end of April to
prepare for the tryouts. The event will be held the first week of June in
Tucson.

Some of my fellow swimmers give happy nods and
another gives a thumbs up sign. My aide asks, "You're going to
participate, aren't you? You're a really good swimmer."

I move my hands in the water and don't meet her
eyes, "No. I'm not going to participate."

"Why not?"

I don't feel the need to explain myself, but I
offer anyway, "Because I'll just look like what I am, a pathetic
cripple."

Sue, my helper, says, "Boy, are you ever
wrong." She shakes her head. "But some things can't be learned by
others telling you. I sure hope you come to your senses while signups are
open."

I give her a stubborn look and she says, "Let's
finish warm-ups."

After swim class, I'm still in a funky mood as I
roll down the hallway in Building G toward the dreaded speech class. I pause
and reach into my backpack for a bottle of water. As I'm drinking, I see Cindy,
Tyce's ex-girlfriend, walking toward me. I've never met her, but Lucy pointed
her out to me early on. She's with Tina and her gang. They're all wearing really
short skirts that show off their shapely legs. I push my chair as close to the
wall as I can get. I know they see me. I'm just hoping they'll pretend that I
don't exist.

Not.

Cindy stops in front of me. Very sweetly she
says, "Hi. Aren't you Morgan?"

I don't want to answer, but I really don't have
a choice. "I am."

She says, "I'm glad we finally get to meet.
Seeing as how I know Tyce
so well…"
She snickers and I get her
drift. "I can see why he spends so much time with you." She turns to
the girls with her. "Do you remember when he rescued that injured
puppy?"

"Oh, yeah," says Tina.

The other girls murmur and nod.

Cindy looks back at me. "He's always
feeling sorry for unfortunates and trying to rescue them."

I can't believe I just heard what came out of
that girl's mouth. She winks at me. "Tell Tyce hello from me and let him
know that whenever he's ready for round two, I'm game." Again, I get her
drift.

With a flick of her hair, she and her zombie
girlfriends take off. I still can't believe anyone can be that vicious. Her
skirt switches back and forth almost revealing her panties. I decide her butt
is too big for her legs.

That evening, Tyce knocks on my door. I'm mad at
him for once having a girlfriend as mean as Cindy. Are men so blind they can't
see past a pretty face and sexy body? I know I'm being unreasonable, but I
don't care. I open the door and scowl at him.

He frowns and says, "Close the door and
I'll knock again."

I give him a questioning look.

He grins. "You're in one of your moods.
Let's just close the door and start over. You can pretend to be ecstatic to see
me."

I scowl even more and state, "Aren't you
the comedian."

Ignoring my bad mood, he steps past me and waves
a brochure in his hand. My curiosity is peaked. "What's that?"

He hides the paper behind his back. "This,
my dear, is the next six months of your life."

"What are you talking about?" I'm not sure
I want to hear what he has to say. He holds the brochure out and I see a word
that makes me cringe:
PARALYMPICS.

"Oh, no. Not you, too. There is no way I'm–"

He interrupts, "Why not? You love swimming;
you're great at it–"

"I'm in a fucking wheelchair!"

"Honey, that's why it's called Paralympics.
It takes that into consideration. You'll be competing against–"

"I can't believe you!"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You know how much I hate being noticed. I
get the sweats just thinking about speech class. There's no way I can take
center stage in a competition. Those events are videoed and all kinds of
crap."

"You're being ridiculous."

I can't believe Tyce is being so insensitive and
I feel stupid tears welling up. I jerk my wheelchair around. My nose sounds
stuffy when I say, "I don't want to talk about it. You just don't
understand. Please leave."

I hear my half-size fridge open."

I twirl my chair around. "Didn't you hear
me? I asked you to leave."

He pops the top on a V8. "Would you like
one?"

I'm seeing red I'm so mad.

Tyce almost smiles when he says, "Just let
me have my say and then I'll leave."

"Do I have a choice?"

He gives me his heart-stopping grin. "In
this instance—no."

I cross my arms over my chest and wait.

Slowly, he reaches and drops the brochure in my
lap. I refuse to look at it.

He says, "Sometimes, life is unfair."

I smirk, "Ya think?"

He ignores my remark and continues. "And
we're faced with making decisions that will affect the rest of our lives."
He kneels in front of me and it reminds me of the first day we met. My heart is
tripping all over itself. He keeps talking. "Because you're my friend, I
want to help you make the right decisions when I think that you're not."
He reaches and caresses my scarred cheek.

My heart is hammering.

He says, "You're a beautiful woman." He
pauses, studying my face. Then he continues, "Kaylee told me about your
desire before your accident to try out for the Olympics."

I move my eyes away from his. He trails a finger
down my cheek and neck, to the top of my collarbone. In a voice choking with
emotion, he says, "Don't let your dream go. The Paralympics are just as
competitive and fulfilling as the Olympics. Don't you understand that life isn't
about winning or losing, it's about
doing?"

Suddenly, Tyce stands and says, "Just read
the brochure and think about it. That's all I ask." Without saying
goodbye, he leaves, softly closing the door behind him.

For a long time I don't move, and then I place
my hand over my collarbone where his finger had rested. As much as I've guarded
my heart, I know it's too late. I've fallen for Tyce.

I pick up the brochure and slowly open it.

Professor Wilkes says, "The only person who
hasn't told a funny happening from childhood is Morgan." His words
surprise me and the book I'm holding crashes onto the table.

Several students turn to stare at me, which
makes me feel sick to my stomach. I remember my conversation with Professor
Wilkes and I wonder what he's doing. He says, "Morgan, I don't think you
need to come to the front. We can hear you from where you are. And rather than having
you tell us what happened, I'd like to do something different. I'd like to ask you
questions. Is that all right with you?"

I don't know where the Professor is headed, but I'm
ecstatic about not having to roll my chair to the front of the room. I nod my
agreement.

He asks, "What's your earliest memory?"

I think about that and then reply softly,
"My four year old birthday."

"Did you have a party?"

"I did."

"Did you blow out candles?"

"Yes."

"Open presents?"

"Yes."

"Do you remember any of the presents?"

I furrow my brow while thinking about that.
"I remember receiving a dart board."

Professor Wilkes laughs. "A dart board—were
you a tomboy."

"No. Actually, just the opposite."

"So who gave you a dart board?"

I smile. "My sister. She was the tomboy and
wanted a dart board, so she convinced our mother that I was the one who really wanted
one."

"Did you pretend to like your gift when you
opened it?"

I can't help but laugh. "I did, but then I
got back at my sister on her birthday, which was only a week after mine. I told
our Mom that she wanted a Princess Barbie doll. I think Mom was on to our
little game, but played along anyway."

I glance around at the students watching me and
they're all smiling.

Professor Wilkes says, "Morgan, you just
passed your first speaking assignment. Now if I can have everyone's attention,
your homework is to read chapter seven which has four famous speeches, and then
select your favorite. You'll be reading portions of it aloud in class." He
makes a waving motion. "Class dismissed."

I'm in shock. Although I've passed my assignment
without throwing up, that's not the reason for my astonishment—I actually
talked about my sister and laughed. I
never
do that without emotional pain.
But I related my story without anguish. I'm
very
surprised.

When I arrive at my dorm, I'm still trying to
understand what happened in class. All the shrinks my parents sent me too
always said that someday I would remember good times with my sister. I'd
thought they were crazy. Why would I want to remember anything when she's dead?

I set my backpack on my bed and start to turn my
chair around, but stop. Hesitantly, I open the nightstand drawer and reach for
the brochure at the back. Tracing my fingers over the words
PARALYMPICS,
I stare at the words and
then open the tri-fold to look at pictures and read the brochure.

Every day for the remainder of the week, I read
the brochure.

On Friday, I reach into my pocket for my cell
phone to call home. My mom answers.

"Hi, honey," she says cheerfully.

"Hi, Mom. There's something I want to ask
you and Dad."

"Okay. Go for it."

"If I were to try out for swimming in the Paralympics,
would you cover the cost of training and any fees?"

There's silence on the other end. I bite my lip
waiting.

Finally, in her crying voice, my mom says,
"Whatever you need, honey. We'll pay for it."

After I hang up, I decide I'm completely loco.
Before I lose my courage, I make another call.

"Hello, Morgan," says Tyce. "I
was just about to call you."

"Really? I must be psychic. Wait, let me
test my abilities. You were about to call and tell me you're bringing a large Canadian
bacon and pineapple pizza to my place, right?"

He chuckles. "You're so right on, I think
you need to write this week's psychic column in the Sunday Gazette."

I grin into the phone. Before I respond, Tyce
says, "I'm on my way," and hangs up.

Slipping my phone back in my pocket, I grin.
Have
I got a surprise for you.

Tyce arrives with our dinner. He sets the
monster pizza on my small dinette and opens the box. He glances at me and then
closes the box.

"Hey, I'm hungry," I complain.

"You're not eating until you tell me what's
going on. You've got a weird look on your face."

"Tyce, open the box."

"Morgan, no." He grins and his sexy
blues twinkle. He truly has the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. I can't
hold his gaze so I look at the table. He says low, "Come on. What's going
on in that pretty head of yours?"

I bite my lip. So far, Tyce has called me beautiful
and pretty, and I treasure those complements from him. I tilt my head to the
side and glance up from beneath my lashes. "I called my mom and asked if she
and my dad would front the expenses for me to train for the Paralympics."

It takes Tyce a second to process what I've just
revealed, but then he grins and his mouth is just as gorgeous as his eyes. I
find myself holding my breath.

He jumps up and lifts a fist into the air.
"Yes! That's my girl!" Before I know it, he's turned my chair away
from the table and he's leaning over me. He says, "I'm so proud of
you!"

I can't help beaming a smile back at him.
"Hey, it's not that big of a deal–"

My sentence is stopped when he places his lips
on mine and whispers, "Yes, it is."

Now I seriously can't breath.

He moves his mouth to my scarred cheek and
kisses it before stepping away. He sits back in his chair and makes a show of
opening the pizza box. I don't want to meet his gaze. I'm afraid he'll see too
much. To him, we're just friends and the kiss didn't mean anything.

I grab my pizza and make small talk. Finally, I
look at him. He's talking about my training with his mouth full. I'm glad we're
talking shop. I say, "I guess the first thing is for me to let Mrs. Metcalf
know I want to sign up, and then schedule training times."

"Well, if you need help with anything, just
let me know. If you want me to be there, I'll change my schedule."

The last thing I want is Tyce distracting me
while I'm in training. I just smile like I'm considering it so he doesn't get
his feelings hurt.

The next day, I inform my P.E. teacher that I
want to train for the Paralympics and give her my application. She's as happy
as Tyce had been. Because there are three other students wanting to train also,
it's decided that we'll all practice at the same time, not only to encourage
one another, but to compete against each other. Some of the students need to
rearrange their schedules, and Mrs. Metcalf says she'll help with that.
Finally, we agree that Monday through Friday at four in the afternoon works
best.

The first two weeks are grueling and I think
I've probably made a mistake. Tyce shows up at my dorm almost every evening cheering
me on. Now I can't quit because I don't want to disappoint him.

During the third week, rolling a large suitcase behind
him, Tyce knocks on my door. Inside my room, he opens it and says, "I'm
going to help you increase your upper body strength," and pulls out
dumbbells of several weights.

I laugh and point to the DVD I was just about to
put in my TV. "I've been waiting all week to watch that movie. The last
thing I want to do is work out with weights."

He glances at the DVD, rolls his eyes at the
chick-flick, and grabs it off the table.

"You put that back," I order.

He places the movie inside the suitcase.
"You can have it after we work out."

"So you're going to work out, too?"

"Of course." He gets a cocky
expression. "I've got to show you how it's done."

"You are so full of yourself. Suppose I
refuse. What will you do then?"

He steps until he's standing above me and then
leans over. Next to my ear, he whispers, "Tickle you."

I gasp. "No. You better not."

Too late. He's tickling my sides and I try not
to give him the satisfaction of a giggle. I can't hold out for long.
"Okay. Okay. You can be my personal trainer."

He gives me one last poke and reaches for the
DVD, setting it back on the table. Pulling out two dumbbells, he says,
"Let's start with two pounds."

"What! I can lift more than two
pounds."

"Of course you can. But how many side lifts
can you do with them?" He demonstrates and I shake my head, thinking he's
crazy. I hold my hands out for the dumbbells, but he shakes his head.
"Warm-ups first, hot shot."

I sigh, but follow all his instructions. Before
long, I'm being challenged by my new personal trainer and loving every minute
of it.

By my fourth week at the pool, I'm feeling much
stronger and enjoying the comradery of my fellow Paralympics' swimmers.

Because of my training routine, I haven't been
able to accompany Tyce when he tutors Kaylee. He said she keeps asking about
me. I also haven't been able to spend as much time with Lucy as I'd like.

On Sunday, Tyce and Lucy both show up at my dorm
and Tyce says they're kidnapping me. I jokingly protest, but I really want to
hang out with them. We load into Tyce's truck and he drives the short distance
to Kaylee's. Lucy's never met Kaylee.

As soon as we reach the gate, Tyce makes faces
at the monitor and it buzzes open. Kaylee meets us on the portico and her nurse
is with her pushing an empty wheelchair. Although Kaylee is standing and
smiling, she looks pale and sick. I introduce Lucy and while she tells Kaylee
about her name being Lucy Arnez and the reason why, I watch Tyce talking to Julie,
the governess/nurse.

When we start inside the house, Tyce lifts Kaylee
and puts her in the wheelchair. She protests, but he tickles her into laughter.
Julie pushes her through the big door and I drop back, pulling on Tyce's
sleeve. I whisper, "What's going on?"

He looks grim. "She had to start
dialysis."

I place my hand over my mouth. "So they
still haven't found a kidney donor?"

"No."

Kaylee wants to show Lucy her bedroom, so we all
take the elevator to the third floor. She's added more stars to her ceiling, decorated
her wall with more princess pictures, and purchased more pink clothing. When
she asks if we can take her to the park if she stays in her wheelchair, Tyce
shakes his head no, and says, "Maybe next time, sweetie." My heart
breaks for the little girl. I know how it feels to be bound to a chair, and for
the first time, I have a real appreciation for what my parents have gone
through for me.

We don't stay longer than an hour because Kaylee
is very weak.