Fragments (39 page)

“Bea,” he growls. “I need you … up here … now.”

I waste no time releasing him from my lips and crawl up his body, pleased with the cheeky grin on my face. I love making him feel out of his depth. He reaches over to his nightstand and pulls out a condom, while I raise my eyebrows at him.

“Prepared, are we?”

He flips it over and checks the date. “I’ve never taken any girls home, Bea … but these are supplies from when I lived here.”

He blushes at his admission, and I pluck the condom from his hand.

“Well, it’s a good thing you were such a good boy scout.”  I tear it open and quickly roll it down, eager to feel him inside of me.

I flip my leg over his waist and line him up at my entrance. I gaze into his eyes and smile while I begin to lower myself down slowly, taking him in, inch by inch. We both simultaneously gasp at the contact. This feels different from all the other times. My hips begin to move up and down as I feel him glide within me. My hands clench his shoulders as I move with him, while not breaking eye contact.

His eyes darken with lust, and as my pace quickens, his hands tighten on my hips, as our hips naturally move together.  This is the most intense moment I have ever experienced, and from the look on Alex’s face, he feels it, too. The heat slowly unfurls in my core as it twists up into my body in a delicious wave, inundating my senses as I climb to my peak.  Alex’s breathing intensifies as each thrust surges into me, sending me closer to my climax. He then tilts his upper body up until he is almost sitting up and grabs the back of my head, and slams his mouth into mine. In between kisses, he pants, licks, and nibbles at my lips and with one final hard thrust, sends me right into my climax as I gasp and groan deeply into his mouth. He then continues to pump into me and shortly after, tenses, and I watch his face tighten. I kiss him passionately on the lips as he, too, groans into my lips. 

For a moment, our bodies continue to pant as the rush of endorphins fills our blood until we are somnolent. Clutching my face, we kiss until I slowly roll and we are side by side. Our bodies intertwine as we lie there together. I am exhausted, satiated and alive. 

Alex breaks free of the kiss to go to the bathroom, and I reach down to draw the sheets above me and up under my neck. After I hear the tap turn off, Alex returns and crawls into bed, drawing me close and staring into my eyes. 

“There you are,” he whispers. “You understand me now.”

I smile and kiss his lips tenderly and snuggle into his smooth chest. Wrapping an arm around him, I sigh and mutter, “I feel at home now, Alex.”

He kisses the top of my head as he runs his fingers down my hair.

“Sleep, Bea. I will wake you in time to sneak back.” 

I chuckle as I mumble, “Funny, how now it’s me who is doing the sneaking. I remember being the one to wake you up.” 

His chest vibrates on a low chuckle as he continues to stroke my head.

“Yes, I remember. The best sleeping I ever did was with you.”

I squeeze his chest as I feel my eyelids lower. My barriers collapse down and my heart is feeling full, lulling me into a contented, deep sleep. 

“For you I will”

Teddy Geiger

Alex

              The sun creeps in the gaps of my bedroom curtains, and I smile contentedly, as for once, we’ve woken up together with our bodies intertwined and happy. Bea snuggles into my chest, and I don’t think we moved from this position all night. I begin stretching my legs out without moving her too much; I’m not ready to let go, but I know she’ll have to do a sneaky before her parents notice. Not like they’d care too much; I just don’t want them to be peeved before we’ve had a chance to properly begin.

              I sweep her hair from her forehead and kiss it while her fingers trace up and down my chest. It’s borderline ticklish but a quick turn-on. Not like she needs to do it; if she moves any closer to my waist, she’ll see that I’m ready. 

“Mmm …” she muses. “How much fun would it be—” Her voice croaks as she continues to play with my chest, clearing her throat before she continues, “—if I just traced my hand up and down for the rest of the morning?”

I kiss her forehead again and snuggle my face against her. “It all depends, on what your ulterior motive is.” 

“No motive.” I hear the grin in her voice and wonder what she is up to. “Oh, unless you mean watching you get turned on.”

The cheeky minx. Of course, she knew what she was doing.

“Baby, if you want to experiment, by all means, I would love to go for another round. I think we were on an odd number anyway, but your folks will be up soon …”

She flinches for a moment then begins to trace lower down under the sheet.

“Um, Bea …” I tease, not sure what she’s thinking.  She sits up and leans in, and kisses my mouth softly.

“Shhh,” she coos as her hand travels lower. “We finished on an uneven number last night. Time to make it even.” I chuckle as her eyes light up as she clasps me. I dare her to make a choice, and she strokes me until I can’t take it anymore.

“Alrighty then.” I sit up quickly and swing her body down against the cool sheets. “Let’s make it even.”

Giggling, she kisses me as we begin exploring each other, but she doesn’t leave on an even number—we make it uneven again.

             
After regretfully taking a shower solo, I make my way into the kitchen for breakfast. The sense of dread that I used to feel walking along the carpet is no longer heavy on my chest. I can walk through at a casual pace without fearing any conflict.

Mum still has his picture around, but not as obsessively as before. Instead, she has chosen to have a few family photos framed of the four of us, and these line the faded painted walls.

I flick the kettle on and begin to get my cereal ready when the shuffle of footsteps nears. Turning, I see my mother enter, dressed in her dressing gown and looking tired. She smiles at me, and heads towards the fridge.

“Morning.” I crunch my cereal, holding my bowl up under my chin.

“Morning, Alex.” She smiles while getting her own breakfast ready. We both make our way to the kitchen table and eat in a comfortable silence, and I reflect how moments like these barely happened for us in the past. Neither of us has to be on the lookout, or attempt to predict the sobriety of Dad. Here we are, actually using the kitchen table together and it’s … nice.

I continue to eat my cereal until I hear my mother’s throat clear. Looking up from my bowl, she bites her lip as she makes eye contact with me. Her face is drawn into concern and I can’t help but ask, “You all right?”

She continues to bite her lip while slumping her shoulders up and down in a vigorous motion. “I was just thinking about how long it’s been since we’ve sat here. It’s tearing me up a little, I must admit.”

She clutches her coffee mug in both hands and takes a sip. “I also can’t remember the last time you smiled … It might have been your graduation, but the last few years have been a blur.” Her cheeks tinge with embarrassment.

“I don’t remember being happy here very much,” I admit. “If it was graduation, well that would be because I was keen to get away, to get out of here.”

Her spine stiffens at my admission.

“I know,” she whispers, staring out into space. She glances back over to me and reaches her hand out to touch mine. I freeze, unsure about the contact. My mother has never been a tactile person. If she notices, she doesn’t show it as she continues. “Alex, we had a terrible life in this house. Some times were great, but those men and their bad influences on your father …”

“He was old enough to make his own decisions,” I interject angrily. “He was not influenced; he gladly led the pack.” I refuse to hear any bullshit reasons as to why liquor was more important.

“Alex.” She squeezes my hand. “I know. He was old enough. I guess I am trying to air out our dirty laundry. Get it all out in the open so you can move on.”

My jaw clenches as this conversation takes a turn for the worse. “Why do I need to move on? There’s nothing to air out. He was a prick. That is all.”

“He was your father, though.” 

“Yeah, for about five fucking seconds. You know
—
when he wasn’t beating the shit out of us. He was still a prick most times. End of story. ” Was it completely un-fucking-reasonable to want

to have a quiet moment in this house that wasn’t full of bullshit? Her hand tenses but I don’t care.

“But, Alex …” she tries again. Flicking my spoon, I lean in and stare directly into her eyes. 

“What are the pills for, Mum? The ones you took before going to bed.”

She scrunches her nose and removes her hand from mine. “They’re to help me sleep.”

Leaning forward, I stare at her before asking, “Why? What’s keeping you up?”

For a moment she is silent, before I hear her faintly whisper, “The past.”

I sit back and cross my arms over my chest and stare down at her. “So, you want me to air out dirty laundry? Seems yours is pretty filthy.”

She looks down and clenches her mug close to her chest. I inwardly cringe. If we’d had this conversation last year, I would have continued being an arsehole. But now, I can’t. I want her to recognise what hell I went through, but I don’t want her to relive it. Sighing, I place my arms on either side of my bowl on the table.

Feeling the guilt slip in further, I can’t help but mutter, “Look, I used to hate being in this house. The thought of waking up and hoping that he wouldn’t lash out while the residual alcohol coursed through his bloodstream, petrified me. Wondering what bullshit theatre tickets or day spa vouchers he’d buy you for putting up with his fists.”

Her face pales as she listens to me, not uttering a single sound.

“For once, this trip, being here at this table, feels normal.” I clench and unclench my fists. “Can we just focus on that?”

“Of course … I am just
—
” She sighs heavily before she looks at me and tearfully adds, “
—
I’m just so sorry for not protecting you. I could barely protect myself and
—
”

I put my hand up to stop her. “Mum, I can’t get into this with you. Those times were shit, watching you turn your back while he took out his disappointment on us. You could have stopped it
—
you just turned a blind eye.”

“What was I supposed to do? He was brutal.” She flinches at my attack.

Shaking my head at her, I decide to break the rose-tinted glasses and lay them out flat.  “Mum, you have to protect your kids. They are the reason you breathe. You fucking tell someone. You didn’t even tell Pop.” I stop before I go too far. Enough with the guilt. I’ve already had enough of it. 

“If you want me to visit, if you want me to feel comfortable under this roof, you will not feed me lies. In fact, I’d rather that you never mention it again. Yes, he was my father, but he was not
a
father. I’ve spent years hearing his voice in my head telling me what a piece of shit I was. Even worse is that he stopped me from being with the one thing in my life that means something. I’ve only just got it back.”

I swirl my spoon around in the centre of my bowl to keep my hands busy. All I want to do is shake them in the air at her, but it won’t achieve anything. Instead, I calmly tell her. “I’ll be probably making more trips home in the future.”

Surprised, her eyebrow arches as she cautions me. “Are you okay? Why?”

The thought of Bea instantly calms me. In my mind, I see her smile and my body instantly feels the warmth that she gives me. “Yeah, my girlfriend will want to see her parents, and so I’ll be dropping in, too.”

My mother’s eyes sparkle as she sits up in her chair and eagerly asks, “She’s from here? Is she the reason why you’re so happy?”

I grab my bowl walk over to the sink and rinse it. “Definitely. She’s what I’ve always wanted, and she tells me that I’m worth it.”

My mother fidgets with her cup but has a contented look upon her face.

“Of course, you are. Can you tell me who she is?”

Walking back to the table, I look her in the eyes as the biggest grin forms on my face.

“Yeah, she’s Beatrice Vera.”

I turn around but not before Mum gasps while a chuckle escapes my lips.

*              *              *              *              *

Pulling up in the driveway to Bea’s house, remembering the reaction my mother had plus my excitement over seeing Bea has me smiling, and I can’t help but feel giddy like a schoolgirl.
Calm the fuck down, man.
It hasn’t even been a few hours since I’ve seen her, and if I’m not careful, I’m going to be skipping up those stairs like Mary Poppins.
What this woman does to me …

I steer myself to calm down and open the door to head up and see her. I have barely turned around after closing my truck door before I hear thundering footsteps race down the stairs. Speak of the siren. Bea charges down the final steps with a huge grin on her face and launches herself into my arms. She wraps her legs around my waist and arms around my neck, and before I can greet her, her lips slam against mine and I lose balance for a moment. Her lips devour mine, and I kiss her back just as vehemently. A growl escapes my lips as I squeeze her arse in my hands tightly, and draw her into my hips. She is my nirvana.