Fragments (38 page)

“Trice!” Robbie marches up with a frantic stride, “Mamma just called, and Nonna’s had a fall. She’s broken her hip, and is having surgery.”

I step away from Alex and move closer to Robbie. “Oh, my God! Is she all right?”

“They’re operating now. Not sure the extent of her injuries, except she’s all bruised up her arm as well. I reckon we head home for a few days. Can you do that?” Robbie’s brow is creased in concern.

“Yep, just got to call the director.”

“Will he be all right with it?”

“I don’t give a shit if he isn’t. I’m coming.”

“Right,” Alex interjects. “I just have to swap a few appointments around, but I only need ten minutes and I’ll be ready.”

My eyes cut to his in shock.

“You don’t have to come,” I reason. He pins me with an “Are you serious?” glance and states, “Last time I checked, Nonna was more family to me than my own mother. Don’t challenge me, Bea. I’m coming. You guys need me, and I need to see that they’re giving her the right therapy.”

My heart melts and pools at my feet. He must have caught it as he tenderly strokes my cheek and whispers, “I’ve got you, remember? Now, call that dickhead director.”

I lean into his hand and smile. Somehow, in the last few hours, I have turned from being scared of his touch to needing it. Yep, he is definitely not letting me run this time.

              Within the hour, we are on the road, and on the long drive back home. I had called the director and was met with a frosty response. “Your lack of dedication is appalling. I will not give you extra concession for this. You do it at your own peril.”

I hang up, feeling annoyed that I had entered this bitchy world of dancing. I couldn’t fathom wanting to continue dancing in an academy where their performers meant nothing but numbers in an audition. I shrugged off his attitude and promised myself that I would show him up in the final performance, while spending time to actively work out another career path.

The three of us are squished into the front of Alex’s truck and have our bags loaded in the tray. I sit between the guys, and as much as my stomach is in knots about seeing Nonna, Alex seems to radiate a vibe that has cloaked me in safety. Aside from the usual spat about music choices, the drive goes relatively smoothly, and by nightfall, we’ve pulled up in my parents’ driveway. I want to give Alex a chance, but I feel tethered to the edge, not willing to quite let myself go.

We step out of the truck and hear Mamma and Dad climbing down the stairs. 

“Mamma!” I cry, running straight to her. “How is she? Can we go see her?”

Clutching me in her arms, she squeezes tightly. “She’s not too bad, resting at the moment. We’ll go in and see her tomorrow.”

Robbie steps forward and hugs our mother while Alex shakes our father’s hand.

“Right,” my dad announces, “dinner is ready. Get up there, guys.”

Alex waves to us and then turns and begins walking to his truck, but my father stops him. “Alex, that includes you. By now, you should know that.” Smiling, I lift my chin over towards the staircase as my parents start walking back up them. Robbie is scooting up after them, while I linger back, my hand lightly brushing against Alex’s as we climb the steps. 

              Once dinner is over, Alex excuses himself and heads home, but not before my mother hugs him.

“Too long since I’ve seen you. Remember, these doors are always open.” She pinches his cheek, and he grins and thanks her. I watch him leave without realising that my mother’s gaze has fallen upon me.

“
Cara, sei innamorata?
”

I blush as her suggestion.
Should I admit my feelings?
I begin devising a plan on how to distract her, when she purses her lips and she sighs. “
Finalmente.”

Shocked by her boldness, my mouth falls open.

“Mamma, I …” She gestures for me to follow her towards the kitchen. By this stage, the boys are in the lounge so we are well out of earshot. We reach the sink and begin washing the dishes together.

“Beatrice,” she urges, “there’s no shame in love. The only shame is to not let it get into your

heart.”

Tears begin to swell in my eyes as I nod. “I’m so scared, Mamma … What if he doesn’t feel the same as I do, that it’s just a crush? What then?”

Mamma continues to scrub at the plates while she contemplates her answer. “You obviously don’t see what we do,
amore.
The way he looks at you is just like your father did to me when I was young. So part of me is thrilled, and the other part wants to smack him at the back of the head as I remember what your father was like.” 

I laugh and twig on to what she is referring to, cringing at the thought of my parents being smitten young adults, though her words do soothe my doubts slightly.

“I’m so unlucky, though, just like Dante’s Beatrice. I’m confused and don’t know if this is right. ”

Mamma stops washing and turns sharply to me. “How? She found love. It was Dante who declared his love for her. Yes, he loved someone who wasn’t his, but he immortalised his love for her through his poetry. He gave us the beauty that many dream to feel. You are not unlucky in love. She got married, and her heart was fulfilled. You can have that intense love, but at least it won’t be from afar.”

I dry the plate in my hand while considering her point. She is right. He is only a short jog away.

              Later that night, I stand by the window and stare in the direction of Alex’s place. Zipping up my hoodie over my nightgown, I slip my sneakers onto my feet and pull up the window. I don’t like the thought of him alone with his mother. I am sure that the hurtful memories of his past will be playing Russian roulette with his mind. Reaching into my pocket, I send him a quick text to test the waters.

Me: Hope you’re okay, over there. X

His house is too distant for me to see any lights, so I have to go and see. I feel my phone vibrate and see his reply.

A: Don’t worry about me; your family needs you right now. Mum is doped up anyway, so it’s fine.

My heart clenches in my chest.
No, it is not fine, Alex.
You should at least have a supportive mother who gives a care. I quickly fire back a text that says:

Me: Wish I was there. Sweet dreams, okay? X

He soon replies:

A: Me too, my dreams are always sweet when you run through them.

As corny as that is, it makes me smile. Trust him to make a joke out of a volatile situation. I climb all the way through the window and make a quick but silent trip down the stairs. If this is going to work, I need to let the barriers down entirely. No more one-sided chasing.

Drawing closer to his house, it occurs to me that I don’t know which window is his—I have been in his lounge room a long time ago, but I haven’t been in his bedroom, ever. A faint light illuminates the room in front of me, and as I creep forward, it becomes clear that it is a bathroom. The light from it flows into the next room and I can make out a figure moving around. Tentatively, I shuffle forward until I see the muscular back of Alex facing away from the window as he undresses. It seems that I have arrived at the right time. He turns towards the bathroom, with his hand on his belt and for a moment, I take in his beautiful torso. I itch to touch it and taste it. As I slide my eyes back to his face, I freeze. He gleams a mischievous grin while staring back at me.

I raise my hand in a whimsical wave as he shakes he head and marches over to the window. Drawing it up quietly, we spend a moment of silence until I can’t take his smirk anymore and say,

“Well, if you aren’t going to let me in …” before he reaches out under my armpits and lifts me up and through the window.

His chest vibrates against mine as he chuckles. “You don’t need an invite, Bea. You can crawl through my window anytime.”

I smack his shoulder lightly in a huff as he releases me. Already he has the upper hand, but my frustration soon dissipates as he smiles widely at me. I draw my hand up and cup his cheek and vehemently say, “I am so glad to see you smile. I was worried that being over here …”

He turns and kisses my hand. “It’s hard, Bea, but I have things in my life now that I didn’t have back then. My job, freedom, and most importantly, I have you … don’t I?” 

I lean up on tiptoes and kiss him gently while whispering against his lips, “You do. See? No need to chase me.”

His arms fold around me and he kisses me back briefly before saying, “But I love to chase … I especially like to catch.”

He lifts me up and I wrap my legs around him while moulding his lips with mine. This time, we kiss languidly and even though the ferocity is not here, the love certainly is. Walking me to his bed, he turns and sits while I continue to straddle his hips, kissing and holding him close to me. His arms rub up and down my back while I tilt my pelvis into his crotch. He groans and shifts to position me slightly back on his legs. Breaking the kiss for a moment, without taking his eyes off me, he unzips my hoodie and I grab his hand to stop him. Confused, he looks at me in question, but I shake my head and indicate with my finger to give me a moment. Sliding off his legs, I stand and face him. Ever so slowly, I continue to unzip my hoodie until the zip is fully opened and then I peel it off my shoulders. I am left there in a thin, strapped tank and short black shorts. Then, in a repeat performance, I slowly, slowly slide the shorts down my legs, which un-tucks my tank that folds down to show me standing there in my blue silk nightgown. The one he wanted me to wear.

His eyes flash with lust as he takes in my curves. The silk shines against my skin. I smile coyly, and using my index finger, I curl it and gesture for him to come to me. He stands and with a sexy swagger, makes his way over, all the while undressing me with his feverish eyes. I grab onto the elastic of his boxer shorts and pull him closer to me,

“I was hoping it was going to rain, as I want to recreate that night. You and rain are my favourite things to think about.” I raise my eyebrows to him in suggestion. “But, seeing as it’s not, let’s make a new memory. I’m in that nightgown. So … show me what you’re going to do.”

With a cheeky wink, I run my fingers across the elastic of his boxers and feel his erection strain against the cool satin. Without a word, he leans forward and begins placing gentle kisses beneath my ear that trail down my neck to the strap of my nightgown. Gently, he pushes it over my shoulder as he continues to kiss and use his tongue to flick against my skin. I pant at the back of his head while my body begs for him to keep touching me.

“Bea …” He kisses along the top of my breast as his hand moves to cup it through the silk. “I would like nothing better than to tear this in half and pound into you, but tonight, you will be shown how much you mean to me.”

Then he takes the hem of my nightgown and slowly edges it up and over my body. His fingertips lightly trace my skin as he weaves them down my chest and watches the goosebumps that follow. His touch is like a slow burn; I’m eager for it to light me up, yet I want to stand here in his heated gaze forever. Weaving his hands down to my hips, he moves them to his waistband and peels his boxers off. His erection stands thick and pulsing, and I can’t help but reach out and touch the tip of it with my finger and trace the head. He hisses, then grabs my hand and draws me back over to the bed. I lay down on the cool sheets, and my nerves take flight as I desperately want him to ease the ache between my legs. He leans over me, and kisses one breast then sucks onto my nipple, while massaging the other. My body arches into his mouth and I let out a long groan.

Running his hands over my breasts, he continues to kiss my body like I’m a precious gift, but I then decide it’s his turn to be cherished. I tenderly place my hands on his shoulders and push to lift him. He looks into my eyes in puzzlement until I shift from under him, and lean into his hips, shoving him against his dark sheets. He stares up at me while I crawl up his body and lay gentle kisses on his forehead, jaw, cheek, and finally his lips. Searing his lips into mine, I passionately kiss him until he’s panting, and then I break free and wink. Giving his hip a light squeeze, I kiss under his chin and trail down his neck, and lick along the grooves of his pecs to his nipples. Looking up into his eyes, I draw my tongue out and lick his nipple, and then I lean down, open-mouthed, and suck. He hisses as the hot sensation rockets through him, tilting his hips up and off the bed.

My lips continue to caress him as I make my way along his stomach and lick around his navel. Massaging the side of his hips, I continue kissing my way down while my arms go between his legs and I push his thighs out wider for better access. Without hesitation, my lips meet the tip of his erection, and for a moment, I stare up into his pleading eyes. His head tilts in anticipation while I curve my tongue and lick the head. He hisses and closes his eyes, and I use that moment to draw the head of his cock into my mouth while sucking tightly. With my hand, I immediately begin to work him as my mouth goes up and down his erection. My movements increase as I hear the escalation in his breaths. His panting intensifies as he grips the sheets on either side of his hips. My lips tighten around him while I trace my tongue down his shaft and sense him getting closer to his release. I increase my pace, but a hand appears at the side of my face, gently nudging me away.