Fragments (6 page)

“Well, Bea, you did it! Top effort!” I smiled. I swapped legs, chasing the slow burn up my calves. With a shake, I turned and checked that Bea was stretching right. “Make sure you really stretch Bea—“

“Alex! I’ve been dancing since I was little. What do you think we do after each lesson? I’m not stupid. I probably stretch better than you do!” I smirked, clearly enjoying getting a rise out of her. She ignored me and turned, twisting her arm in front of her chest while using the other to fold it back.

“Seven kilometres down. What target should we aim for next? Ten?” Her eyes glistened with excitement. “How pissed would Robbie be, knowing that I can kick his arse at running!” She laughed, while moving on to stretch her legs.

              After we finished, we headed inside to fill our water bottles.  Her mum was usually up and the rest of the house was asleep but, this morning, no one was around. I knew Bea was eager to practice whatever dance moves she had learnt that week in the family garage while everyone slept. There was less chance of Robbie giving her shit if she did it hidden.

“So, you learnt any new moves this week, Twinkle Toes?” I walked past her, refilling my bottle.

“Yes, actually. We have a hip-hop number in our performance coming up. It’s pretty cool, we’re dancing to No Doubt’s ‘It’s my life’.” Dancing to Gwen Stefani—she was hot.

“Well, at least you’re not dancing to bubblegum bullshit. C’mon, Twinkle, show me your moves. I’ll judge you.” I raise my eyebrow to challenge her, while waiting for her to get embarrassed and tell me to piss off. Surprisingly, she walked around to the front of the bench, and put herself into position. With a flick of her shoulders, she straightened and looked directly at me.

“I’ll show you the first ten beats, smartarse. See if you can do it too.” Her legs were both bent while on her toes, and her arms were draped over her face as if she were imitating holding the brim of a hat. Whispering, “one, two, three, four,” she rocked on the spot with a few pelvic thrusts. She then turned, kicked and spun putting her hands into her pockets, while her shoulders moved up and down. My jaw dropped and my skin felt tight. 

“Whoa! What was that? That was super quick. Do it again.” That was impressive. My pulse

quickened as she repeated the moves effortlessly. “Bea, you planning on continuing with dance? You’re getting pretty good.” She shrugged as if it were no big deal.

“I hope so; I have my auditions coming up.” She avoided my eyes as she looked down at her toes. I hated how insecure she was about herself.

“Well, for starters, if you worked a pole—” I ducked, narrowly missing the tea towel she threw at me.

“Piss off, arsehole. As if!”

“Bea—” I laughed. “I’m joking. Like we’d let you work in a club anyway. But, seriously you should do this professionally. You looked amazing.” She blushed at my compliment and caught the towel as I threw it back at her.

“You coming to the gala? It’s in a few months’ time. It’s where the scouts are,” she said nervously.  I had been going to all of her big performances since she was five.

“Yeah, Bea-Bea, I’ll be there.” Her eyes lit up as she smiled at me, and I couldn’t help grinning back. She just needed more confidence, which reminded me.

“Hey, are those bitches still giving you hell?” I’d heard from Trinity while waiting for Bea by the bus stop that a group of girls liked to tease her. Trin didn’t go into any details, so it seemed like petty shit, but knowing Bea, she wouldn’t tell anyone anyway. Her shoulders stiffened as she looked around the kitchen at anything but me.

“No, not really. I’m fine.” I didn’t believe her for a second.

“Look, Bea-Bea, if they keep hassling you, all you gotta do is let Robbie know. He will kick their arse. I’m happy to help put these guns to work,” I sang, holding up my biceps and showing off my arms.

She laughed and shook her head.

“Don’t worry about me. Besides, it will only make it worse. It’ll stop one day.” She shook her head, as if shaking away the topic. “Did you want a piece of Mum’s cheesecake? Her sister came around last night while we were outside, and there’s some left over.” She walked to the fridge, ready to get it, but I grabbed her arm.

“Bea—” I looked into her eyes. “I mean it. You’d tell me if they got any worse, wouldn’t you?” Her eyes flashed for a moment and before I could register that look, she plastered on a smile to cover it.

“Oh, assface, it’s the era of feminism. I don’t need a guy to fight my battles. But thanks.” 

I headed home shortly after to shower, and hopefully, get away to the library. I wanted to get a few hours’ research done for my biology assignment. I figured I’d take my other homework there, and that would leave me with the whole day planned away from home.  If I wasn’t there, then he couldn’t start anything with me. We had an understanding to stay out of each other’s way. As for Mum, well, her bullshit excuses about why she was bruised up and wouldn’t defend herself had gotten old. I no longer felt angry. I just pitied her. She was a constant reminder that love was fucked.

*              *              *              *              *

The weekend quickly faded, and before I knew it, Monday was knocking at my door. Robbie and I attended the senior campus of our school. The middle school was separated by an oval. The principal had designed our campus a few years ago with the idea that the seniors would do better by being apart from the juniors and middle school students. It did work to an extent, but it was also pretty easy to score beers, cigarettes, and all sorts from those who had turned eighteen. The teachers let us call them by their first names, and we could come and go as we wanted. 

              Our bus pulled up at one end of the oval so Robbie, Bea, and I got off. Bea walked ahead of us to go greet her friends, but before she was out of earshot, I yelled, “Bye, Beatrice!” Her shoulders stiffened as she turned sharply, raising her right hand to give me the bird.  The corner of her mouth turned up in a smirk as she shook her head, mouthing,
fuck you
. In an instant, she turned and continued walking away as though nothing had disrupted her.
Robbie and I both laughed and started to head to our campus.

While walking across to our buildings, I considered all the bits of homework I had to do. Robbie was busy texting whomever he was banging at the moment. Renee’? Rebecca?
Fuck knows, fuck cares
. The finals were going to bust my balls this semester. I needed to ace the tests. I was lucky as the teachers liked me, and relieved they didn’t treat me based on the stories of my junior days, when I was a royal shit to absolutely everyone.

I’d spent my junior years getting into fights and pissing everyone off. It was not hard for a kid with a shit home life to find something,
anything,
to make them feel. I was sick of feeling hurt, so for a long time, I passed the hurt onto other people. It wasn’t until my football coach, who witnessed me getting beat up by some seniors for being a smartarse, sat me down and straightened me out.
“Alex, you’re a bright kid, but a pain in the arse. Don’t let those demons that you’re carrying mark you. Make your own way.”
He was right. By the time the final year of middle school was up, I had changed my attitude. I realised that if I continued being a shit there was no way I could leave this town. A scholarship was my ticket out.

              Arriving at our lockers, we quickly got ready for class. Specialist Maths was first up on a Monday.  The guy who sorted our timetables was clearly a masochist. What made it a bit easier, though, was Mr Ray. He was unlike any teacher who I had ever had. He made Monday mornings bearable, even if he was a bit too hyperactive.

I slammed my locker shut and walked into the classroom. As predicted, Mr Ray stood by the whiteboard, humming a tune, dressed in a neon-coloured Hawaiian shirt. How that guy managed to find these shirts was beyond me.

              “Hey, Sir, what’s up?” I yelled as I dumped my books onto my desk. Robbie wasn’t there yet, but no doubt he’d be in soon with his latest squeeze.

              “Alex,” Mr Ray sung, his enthusiasm was something that never wavered, no matter what time of day it was. “Nice to see you have mastered the art of colloquial dialogue! Hopefully, you’ll master today’s lesson. Cal-cu-lus!” Clapping each syllable out, he looked around the room to try to engage us.  “Exciting, isn’t it?”

I sunk back into my chair and groaned. It was too early to use my brain for that.

              Students continued to stroll in as the notes began covering the board. I opened up my workbook and started writing his equations down, using this quiet time to wake up.  I heard a familiar chuckle and looked up to see Robbie strolling in, his latest girl standing at the door giving him the lovey-dovey eyes.

              “You might want to fix your collar, Casanova,” I teased. “Looks like you were having a very happy morning.”  He adjusted his collar with one arm, while tossing his books on the desk next to mine.

              “Oh, great! Robbie is here! We’ll need you to help today, too,” Mr Ray chirped. Robbie flinched, running his eyes across the bright shirt. His jaw slacked as he pretended to vomit, raising his fingers to his mouth. I nodded and laughed.

              “For once,” he adjusted in his seat, “I’d like to see that man in a bad mood and a decent shirt. It’s like he’s the fifth Wiggle or something.”

              “His shirts are bright enough for him to be,” I agreed. “Does he know I feel hung-over just looking at that shirt?” We heard a throat clear and looked up to see Mr Ray staring at us with a smile on his face. Straightening in our seats, we opened our books, shaking our heads. Teachers always seemed to have bionic hearing. 

              “Well, gents, if you’ve had enough of describing my attire we can start now. I have no plans

to join the entertainment industry when I have so much to teach you.” He clapped his hands, rubbing them together, eagerly awaiting to fill our minds.  We grunted in response, and listened as he explained the equations.

              By the end of class, after a few excited cheers and exuberant hand gestures from our teacher, we understood the tasks. 

Walking to my next class, I turned the corner and spotted Robbie getting it on with
Rachel. That’s it!
His hands were gripping her arse and they had garnered an audience made up of other girls who longed to be with him. This also worked in my favour as, even though I never had to work hard for pussy, this just cut out the middle shit. I flashed a smile to the group standing near them.

“Hey girls, my friend here is busy, but these arms aren’t.” Now, most people would think that was the biggest dick thing to say, but lo and behold, two girls giggled and came over, hugging my side tightly. Mission accomplished.

“Well, girls. We’ve got class now, but let me walk you to yours first. See, I’m a gentleman, after all.”

The best part of summer was the short uniforms. Free-range perving all around. It wasn’t until I was waiting for Bea at the bus stop that I noticed a girl from her campus. We made eye contact and the hottie blonde came over to me. 

“Hi.” I grinned. “You come here often?” She giggled and shook her head.

“Not every day, but I will be if I know you’re here.” She didn’t even pick up on my cheesy line, but hey, she was game.

“Well, honey, you know who I am?”
“You’re Alex, right?” She smiled.

“You spoken for?” I winked at her.

“Not anymore.”

“That’s fine by me,” I said, wrapping my arm around her shoulder. I grabbed my phone and texted Bea, letting her know to leave without me. I had someone I had to get to know.

“Inflamed the minds of everyone against me;

And those who were inflamed, inflamed Augustus,

Tis all my happy honours were turned to sorrow.”

Inferno XIII
lines 67–70

Trice

Late autumn, 2006

All I wanted was to make it to the library before they found me. I walked briskly towards the far building, clutching my backpack, while eating my lunch quickly with my other hand. Looking around, I noticed familiar groups of people, but had yet to spot my friends. I hated walking by myself around here.

I nearly tripped over my own feet as a figure suddenly stood in my path, blocking my view. 

              “Beatrice, ya wog! Got that smelly salami in ya roll again?” I sucked in a quick nervous breath as my eyes made contact with Stacey. I was trying to get away from these cows, but here they were. 

“What’s that?” She leant forward, cupping her ear with her left hand. “Salami got your tongue, has it?” Peering into my sandwich, her mouth twisted up in disgust as she jeered, “A bit of fat salami like your dad’s dick? Can’t believe you eat that shit.”

I pulled my sandwich closer. It was ham and salad. No salami—I never brought salami to school. As much as I loved eating it, it wasn’t worth the hassle. That broke my mum’s heart as she and my father made it every year, and every year I would pretend I didn’t like it. Even by eating it in the safety of my own home, I had convinced myself that they would know. The shame I felt lingered