Fragments of your Soul (The Mirror Worlds Book 1) (33 page)

“I’m not taking orders from you!” Arvid said angrily.

“No, you make a sport out of always doing the exact opposite!”

“I don’t! You just disappeared without telling us where. The City Guard couldn’t defend themselves against the demons. How was I to know that you’d help them?”

Loke laughed out loud. “You honestly think I’d just let the demons destroy one of my favorite cities, right under my nose? Not even you can be that stupid!”

For a moment, Arvid was speechless, but then she felt hot anger flaring up inside her, as so often in Loke’s presence. “Stop calling me stupid all the time!” she screamed. “Do you even realize how complicated and abstruse everything you’re doing is? It wouldn’t have surprised me if you went out there to open the gates!”

“That would hardly have made a difference,” Loke said in a dangerously quiet tone, but then his face darkened at once. “In sharp contrast to your fucking plan of heedlessly jumping into a losing battle!” He was shouting so loud that Arvid threw a glance at the door.

“Stop yelling,” she said. “If someone hears us, the reputation of our marriage is ruined.”

Loke took several violent breaths, then he started to grin. Arvid had no idea why she had said this, and she suddenly had to laugh. The tension between them was gone as quickly as it had come.

“Come,” Loke said, getting up from the bench. “You should eat something.”

It was late at night when Arvid was awakened by the sound of the door. At first she thought that one of the maids had come in, but then she realized that it was Nod. He had changed into one of the garments like the staff wore; otherwise he looked just like the night before.

“We have to go,” he said in a hushed voice. “I’ve got your clothes.”

Arvid sat up, dazed, and looked over at the clock. It showed the fifteenth hour.

“In the middle of the night?” she asked sleepily, but still shoved the blankets aside. “Has anything happened?”

Nod shook his head. “Quiet,” he whispered. “It’s just a safety measure.”

Arvid’s clothes were washed and mended, and after she had finished dressing, they quietly slipped out and left the commander’s house.

The city lay still and quiet. Nod led her down stairs and streets, until they eventually reached the palisades at the bottom of the city—or at least what had remained of them. Although Arvid had seen what had happened here the day before, she was still shocked. The wall was cut down along the whole length. The thick piles were cracked and splintered and many of the bordering houses damaged or partially collapsed. It was clear that people had already been trying to repair the worst damage. Here and there larger pieces had been piled into ordered stacks, and when they climbed through the residue of the palisades, they passed a big, stinking pile with black carcasses.

“There are guards everywhere,” Nod said. “We should try not to get seen, but I doubt we can avoid it completely.”

As they rounded the remains of a watchtower, Arvid saw the dark outlines of the guards that moved around outside of the city. However, none of them seemed to be near them.

They left the wreckage behind them and went along the outside of the still-intact palisades, until they could see a matte glimmering light somewhere in front of them. It came from the lantern of a man in thick furs, who was talking to a blonde woman in light clothes. Directly behind the two stood three large horned animals that resembled giant deer. Those were probably the mounts of which Loke had spoken the day before, because they were equipped with saddles and bridles.

The man looked up and nodded at them briefly. The woman ignored them, but Arvid knew it was Loke anyway. No one who was in their right mind would walk around in a thin fabric garment in this cold.

“The animals are called Hjorter,” said Nod after they had left Erendal behind. “On rocky terrain and ice they are better than horses, but they get nervous rather easily and are a bit willful.”

“Aren’t such animals very expensive?” said Arvid.

“They are only borrowed,” said Loke, who rode ahead of them. “We will deliver them to the owner’s brother in Karst, together with some letters.”

Their journey was remarkably uneventful, but after all that had happened, Arvid enjoyed the tranquility of the surrounding nature. They followed a path that was easy to walk for their mounts, but ran away from the paved road and repeatedly took tight turns. At times it was buried under rubble, sometimes punctuated by thin streams, then again covered by broken branches and trunks. However, their Hjorters overcame every obstacle almost effortlessly and perseveringly and with precise safety sat one hoof before the other.

At night, they found shelter in the ruined remains of a stable, a bit off the path and in the shade of some rocks. It was cold, and Arvid found it difficult to sleep on the hard ground. Again and again she changed her position in order to relieve a hurting spot on her body. Sometimes she glanced over at Loke, who was sitting in the grass a few steps outside the ruined walls and looked out into the night, seemingly motionless. He didn’t leave this place until Arvid finally fell asleep at some point. When she awoke, Loke was still sitting there—or again. Arvid could not help wondering whether he needed sleep at all.

The next day was just as quiet. Loke was even more silent and kept a clear distance from them. Arvid suspected that he tried to hide his imbalance. Although he had maintained the same female shape the day before, Arvid did not escape that he was constantly changing today.

Even when they stopped to rest and eat at noon, Loke stayed away from them. Nevertheless, it could be seen that he looked extremely miraculous: tall, skinny, almost female, but not really human. His hair was brownish black and shaggy. What Arvid could see from a distance was that the rest of his body resembled tree bark more than skin. Sometimes Loke sat on a stone and stared up into the treetops, then he crouched back in the grass or bushes and seemed to watch something.

“What is he doing?” Arvid finally asked Nod thoughtfully.

“I have no idea,” replied Nod. “But I’ve seen him behave like this several times before, when I was out collecting firewood. Disquieting, isn’t it?”

“When we’re still living in Loke’s cave, you mean?”

“Yes. It’s probably best to just leave him alone.”

“Do you think there’s something wrong with him?”

“In what way?”

“I… I don’t know,” Arvid said hesitantly. “Maybe he’s sick or maybe… he’s worried that the gods could track us down. I am.”

“I don’t believe that. I don’t think that worry, anxiety, or even something like grief is even among Loke’s repertoire of emotions.”

Arvid looked at Nod in amazement. “Didn’t you tell me that Loke once got hurt by a woman so badly?”

“That was different,” he said, “an extraordinary situation. And then I don’t think Loke’s reaction was actually grief. He felt attacked, offended… maybe angry. Like he is in such situations. Loke isn’t someone who’s crying in the corner. Loke is someone who razes everything to the ground.”

Nod’s words set Arvid to thinking. Was it really possible that a creature was immune to suffering and sorrow? She had spent four months under Loke’s roof and had to admit that she had never seen him sad, depressed or anxious in all that time. Sometimes he had sat in a corner, withdrawn and apparently lost in thought. When Arvid had needed help with something, he had usually listened seriously and attentively. The thought of Loke’s look in such a situation filled Arvid with a warm, pleasant feeling.

“I’ll ask him,” she decided spontaneously.

Nod rocked his head back and forth. “I… don’t know if that’s a good idea. I wouldn’t…”

But Arvid wasn’t deterred. Loke could get angry, yes, but she had become accustomed to that. It had somehow become a part of their relationship.

However, Loke didn’t get angry. When he heard that someone was approaching, his body normalized a little, but he still looked very exceptional when he turned around to Arvid. His skin was dark brown with a hint of gray, his hair tangled and wiry. Not only his body but also his face seemed a little too narrow and long to be human.

“What are you doing here?” said Arvid.

Loke pointed wordlessly to some strange formations that hung high up in the branches of a conifer. They looked like a long funnel of thin stalks and grass.

“The nests of Rönhar-birds,” he said. “Many birds build their nests in the same tree, so they can protect each other. Sometimes some of them nest in a tree in front of my house in Asgard.”

“You… are watching birds?” said Arvid, stunned.

“Not only that.”

Arvid tilted her head back and looked up at the nests. Although she could hear a faint peeping from somewhere, no birds were to be seen. Probably they were afraid of her. It was initially a strange thought that someone like Loke was interested in birds. But then, as she thought about it, it occurred to her that Loke several times had mentioned small things that he had observed outside in the nature.

“What else?” said Arvid, but Loke shook his head.

“Go back to Nod. We will have to leave soon.”

“I’m ready,” Arvid said. “What else have you discovered?”

“It’s not important for you.”

“But it interests me.”

“I hope you know that you’re a terrible pain in the ass.”

Deep down Arvid felt a nagging irritation, but by now she knew that it wouldn’t get her anywhere. She forced herself to remain calm and said deliberately friendly, “It would… make me happy to see what you’re looking at.”

For a while Loke looked at her with a deeply furrowed brow. Something in his eyes seemed to change, but Arvid could not tell what it was. Finally, he sighed. “Then come.”

Arvid had not really expected Loke to give in, but what she got to see was both exceptional and fascinating. Loke showed her the seeds of plants that were hidden under the thick blanket of weed and moss, rolled up like snail shells, and appearing in blue, green, yellow and orange colors. There were pale green flowers, almost invisible, but beautiful, once she had discovered them, tiny thistles in silver blue, nondescript, brown mushrooms with a pattern resembling long rows of runes, beetles that looked like pine needles, and much more.

After a while Arvid discovered a tiny yellow and red patterned ball in the moss. She reached for it, but as soon as she touched it, long, crawling spider legs appeared beneath it. Arvid jerked so violently she almost fell over.

Loke laughed. “They look like poisonous berries,” he said, looking at Arvid in amusement, “so they won’t get eaten.”

Now Arvid had to laugh, too. She wasn’t sure if her heart was pounding so hard from the scare, or because she again got lost in Loke’s strange beauty.

“You seem to like this environment,” she tried to say lightly. “Did you grow up somewhere out in nature?”

She could literally watch Loke’s face hardening and something dark and cold appearing in his eyes. “That’s none of your business!” he hissed. “Stop constantly pestering me with questions!” He turned around with a jerk and walked off.

Shortly after they moved on. The woods were dense and lush, the slopes less steep. With the rising temperatures, the green of their surroundings increased. Soon they were surrounded by flowers, grasses and low berry bushes that gathered in small groups and attracted animals. Twice they saw ungulates which resembled the Hjorters, but were much smaller, and once they heard the distant howling of demons.

Toward the evening, when the lights of Karst arose far below them, they stopped to rest again. Loke had been in a better mood since their last stop and appeared in the form of a small, robust woman with curly, light brown hair and big dark eyes. He led Arvid farther up a ledge, from where the terrain dropped steeply, and pointed in the distance with an arm.

“Over there lie Asgard and the Temple City,” he said. “The view is not very good, but if you look closely, you can still see it.”

It took a while for Arvid to realize what she was looking for, but then it was quite clear.

“It looks like a mountain,” she said in wonder, because that was what it looked like. One would have thought that someone had placed a gently lit mountain peak in the middle of green plains.

“In a way it is,” Loke said. “Asgard itself was built around what was once Odin’s castle. It lay on top of a rocky hill. The Temple City was built at the foot of the hill, so today Asgard towers above it like a peak.”

“It’s really bright,” said Arvid. “No wonder you can’t see the stars there. Even from this distance it lights up like a lantern.”

For a while they stood there in silence, staring into the distance and over the country, which spread before them.

“What does the name Asgard mean, anyway?” said Arvid.

“It was the land Odin ruled over before today’s Asgard was founded,” Loke replied, “the home of the Aesir. Many centuries ago it was little more than a large courtyard.”

“Unbelievable,” Arvid said thoughtfully. “It’s been more than three hundred years, and Odin is still there. Were you there at the founding of Asgard?” She looked at Loke questioningly, but he just stared into the distance. Suddenly there was hardness in his eyes.

“No,” he answered curtly.

Shortly before noon the next day they finally approached Karst. Fog had raised and prevented a proper view of the city, but Arvid could see that it was much bigger than Erendal. The construction of the houses reminded her a little of those in Black Castle, even if they were broader and more robust and seemed to have somewhat flatter roofs.

After they had left the large stone bridge behind them, Loke steered his mount next to Arvid’s.

“The circle of protection is over there,” he said. “It’s pretty strong.”

His words sparked a queasy feeling in Arvid. She had almost forgotten that the towns in the lowlands had circles of protection and how uncomfortable crossing them was. She still clearly remembered the pain the new circle around Vero-Maghen had caused her.

“Couldn’t you just have kept that to yourself?” she said indignantly. “At least I wouldn’t be worried now.”

To her annoyance Loke suddenly began to giggle.

Arvid gave him a vicious look. “What’s so funny?”

Loke shrugged, still a wide grin on his face that somehow didn’t seem to match his almost girlish appearance. “Usually I’m the only one,” he said airily. “In the past I have often been on the road with Thor or Odin, who thought my dislike of the circles to be immensely exhilarating.”

“You don’t exactly lack pleasure in gloating over it,” Arvid said.

“Would you rather have my pity?” said Loke and grimaced with mock regret. “I simply take the right to make fun of a pain I have to endure myself.”

Arvid rolled her eyes and decided to ignore Loke’s chatter. They had almost reached the circle of protection now. Arvid’s heart began to beat faster. It was anything but a pleasant feeling, to await a pain that you didn’t know how bad it would be.

Loke was the first to reach the circle and his reaction startled Arvid so much that even though she clearly felt the electrifying pain, she dismissed it as almost inconsequential. Loke suddenly writhed violently and let out an agonizing cry, which he obviously couldn’t suppress despite his evident efforts. His face was a distorted mask of pain, and for a moment he staggered in the saddle so much Arvid instinctively reached out to steady him. However, hardly a second later, Loke tediously and heavily panting straightened up again.

Arvid threw Nod an alarmed glance. The look in his eyes immediately made her realize that this wasn’t the first time he witnessed Loke’s response to a protection circle.

“Are you okay?” said Arvid, concerned.

Loke looked up at her and, to Arvid’s amazement, started to snicker again. The reaction was so incongruous and absurd that Arvid stared at him speechlessly. There had been many occasions when she had gotten the unsettling feeling Loke was a little crazy. But at this moment this impression was much more intense.