Fraternizing (25 page)

I shook my head,
much too emotionally drained and physically exhausted to argue.

"Whatever,
man." I rubbed my hand over my face, shutting my eyes, wishing all of this
shit would just go away.

"Good.
Tonight at seven.
Everyone's going."

Before Jensen
could say anything further I walked off, passing Cassie and her crew while my
insides twisted, sending me into silent agony.

When I walked
into the schoolhouse building, the front photo board already held my picture
under the NCO of the Quarter slot, next to all of the unit higher ups. The
guilt was thick, acting as the anchor that held me under water with no way of
getting any air. I needed this day to end so I could get away and drink myself
into a drunken stupor.

The rest of the
day dragged, prolonging the torment within me. Even during test time, while the
students were hard at work, my mind drifted to Cassie. The last test she'd
scored well below expectation, and I couldn’t help but hope that she had
regained her footing and done well on this one.

Guilt hit me from
all angles—unrelenting and powerful, sucker punches to the gut, over and
over again. I knew then that my relief would be found at the bottom of an empty
tequila bottle, so as soon as the students were released for the day, I hurried
my ass out of there, went home, and downed the last of my Cuervo before passing
out.

When I woke up,
Riley was standing over me, looking worried as all hell.

"Hey,
man," he said, his voice low and timid.

I looked at him,
trying hard to focus but failing miserably.

"We're about
ready to go. I don’t know though, maybe you should stay home."

"No. I need
to go. I’ll be ready in like ten."

He sighed.
"Look. I know what this--"

"Riley, I'll
be ready," I sternly countered. I didn’t need him filling me in on the
obvious.

In ten minutes,
just as I had said, I was ready and walking out the door. The little bit of
sleep that I’d caught helped and all I could think about was getting the leftover
thoughts of Cassie out of my head. For the first time since these plans had
been made, I finally found some enjoyment in the night.

Riley drove all
of us in my truck since it was biggest and comfortably sat all of us. He
volunteered to be the DD, leaving me with no limitations on just how piss poor
drunk I could get drowning out the residual thoughts of my very own kryptonite.

The Tavern was
packed. Next to Coyotes, it was our second favorite
hang-out
spot. It was a little larger than Coyotes but was lacking the vibrant feel. It
didn’t really matter to me because I planned to be carried out by the time we
left. Eliminating Cassie from my thoughts was my goal, and if it took five
drinks or fifteen, I was going to make that happen.

Smith ordered the
first round, holding up his shot glass and belting out, "To Alex, NCO of
the motherfucking quarter."

"Oorah,"
Jensen and Newsome hollered, before throwing back their shots and slamming the
glasses down on the table.

I threw mine back
and quickly called for another, throwing that back before Castillo and Collins
walked up with two more.

"Well, hell.
We're late to the party," Castillo said, grinning at me and handing over
another.

"Well
deserved, Alex," Collins said, smiling as well.

There wasn't
enough alcohol in my system to take their compliments, so I took the other shot
in Castillo's hands and downed that one too. Her hooded eyes bore into me,
prompting Riley to tap me on the shoulder.

"Dude, I
know what you're doing. Slow down."

"Fuck off,
Riley," I growled, throwing his hand off of me. "I'm here to
celebrate, right? This is how we do it."

He didn't look
offended. Instead, apprehension filled his face. I didn’t care. Riley had no
fucking clue what I was grappling with, and I wasn't about to fill him in on
anything.

Another round
came out, and this time Jensen lifted his glass while yelling out, "Every
motherfucking Marine in here needs to come say hello and congratulate my
friend, Alex. It's a pleasure serving next to you, brother. Probably one of the
best fucking Marines I've ever met."

Loud
"oorahs" filled the room, making me smile. The tequila was finally
settling and doing exactly what I needed it to do. I threw the shot back,
blowing out a deep breath after allowing it to ooze down my throat.

"You deserve
some pussy, man. This one is perfect."

Some random
brunette— leggy, and tan—stepped out from behind Jensen. She
smiled, but it did nothing for me. I couldn’t find anything special about her.
But then again, I just needed to forget about Cassie, so she would probably do
the trick.

"I'm
Taylen," she said, her eyes raking me over, begging to be fucked.

She sat down on
my lap, a fruity drink in her hand as she leaned down and whispered in my ear,
"You wanna fuck me, Alex?"

I stared back at
her, trying to figure out if I wanted to or not.
A part of me
wanted to say "Hell yes," run her off somewhere, and bang
Cassie out of my system. Another part of me knew I'd regret it, so I smiled and
lifted my hand to play with her hair.

"I might,
Taylen," I answered, not giving a definitive answer.

She laughed and
put her drink to my mouth, pouring it down my throat. I licked my lips
afterwards, taking in the residual fruity flavor, when Taylen leaned down and
kissed the fuck out of me. For such a small girl, she had power behind her lips
and tongue, and I liked it.

Or did I?

Whatever I was
feeling, her tongue was winning out, and I forgot all about the conflicting
thoughts swirling around in my head and just went with it. Shockingly, my cock
didn’t jump, didn’t twitch… nothing. Her kiss did nothing to incite it, but I
ignored that and dug my tongue deeper into her mouth.

"Come up for
some fuckin' air, bro. And a drink," Newsome said, tapping me on the
shoulder and handing over what smelled like a Captain and Coke.

"Thanks,
man."

"I'm
Taylen," she said, holding out her hand for Newsome. He took it, kissing
the top of it before saying, "I kind of like this fucker, so let him
breathe every now and then."

She laughed-- a
laugh very similar to what had hooked me with Cassie.

"I need
another drink, man."

It was almost as
if he had read my mind before even delivering the first drink. Another Captain
and Coke
was
placed in my hands. I drank that one just
as quickly as the first, Taylen's hands all over my chest, snaking under my shirt,
her tongue gliding over her teeth.

We sat for a
while longer, Castillo's eyes catching mine from the opposite side of the bar
every now and then. She was off talking to some guy, but paying little to no
attention to anything he had to say. A few times I caught the pucker of her
lips, like she wanted to yank Taylen off of me and take her place. I had no
intention of going down that route.

"You ready
to fuck me yet, Alex?" Taylen's voice was whiny, and with the excess
amounts of alcohol in my system, it was grating my nerves.

"I'm always
ready to fuck," I told her. "I'll fuck just about any girl in here
tonight."

The gleam in her
eyes quickly faded.

"I'm not
just any girl."

"You are to
me," I quickly countered.

She jumped off of
my lap and slammed her hand down on the table.

"You're a
fucking asshole. Fuck Marines."

"Naw. I'll
pass," I told her, smiling as her face contorted through her anger.

I laughed, not
giving a damn about her temper tantrum. She stormed off, finding her friends
and pointing over to me before walking out of the bar.

I stood, wobbling
for a second before finally catching my balance. I walked to the bathrooms,
needing to piss and feeling like I could do it anywhere, but had enough common
sense left in me to not do so.

When I walked out,
Castillo was sitting at my table, involved in a heavy conversation with
Collins. They quieted as I walked up. I took my seat and leaned in, hoping to
engage them on whatever they were discussing.

"Ladies,
what’s going on?"

"We should
be asking you that," Castillo said, winking at me. "Where'd your
little girl toy go?"

"Yeah. I
thought you were well on your way to getting a piece of that groupie,
Alex," Collins said, chuckling a little.

"Groupie?"

"Um, yeah. Didn't
you see the tan line on her ring finger?" Castillo asked then took a sip
of her drink.

I threw my head
back, exhaling out the frustration of what I had almost done.

"I'll be
right back." I stood and walked over to ask Newsome for a cigarette, even
though I wasn't a smoker.

"You don't
smoke, man."

Before he could
say anything else, I glared harshly at him, looking like I could viciously
attack at any second. He reached in his pocket and pulled out his pack of
smokes, patting it in his hand.

I took it and the
lighter that he was holding, then walked outside and lit it up. The feel of the
burn as it hit my chest pained me, but I was wound so tightly I needed to
finish it. I hoped that it would calm even the slightest part of me down.

About halfway
through the cigarette, Castillo came walking outside, a cigarette in her hand.

"Mind my
company?" she asked.

I shook my head,
taking a long drag of the cigarette before blowing out a mouthful of smoke.

"Sorry to
freak you out. I just know how much you hate groupies."

"Thanks."

We stood smoking
in silence, the cars whizzing by on the pitch black Hwy 62 the only sound to be
heard. When I finished, I felt sick. The mixture of too much alcohol and a
cigarette had put me in a bad place. I felt like at any minute I could throw
up, and if I didn’t get a quiet place to sit down, I was sure it would happen.

"I'm going
back in to get the keys from Riley. I need to chill out for a minute."

"You don't
need to go back in. I have my keys. You can chill out in my Jeep."

She pulled the
keys out of her pocket, dangling them before me as she smiled wickedly at me.

The chance to lie
down never sounded so good, so I followed her out to her Jeep and slowly sat
down in the passenger seat before lying back and shutting my eyes. Castillo
moved around to the driver's side, hopping in and letting the windows down.

I began to drift
when her voice woke me.

"What's the
deal, Alex?"

"What do you
mean?" I asked
,
my eyes still closed as the warm
desert night air hit me.

"You know
what I mean.
You and Bennett.
Some people might be
blind or oblivious, but I see it."

That woke me up. My
eyes shot open, and panic flared in my chest, but I couldn’t let her see any of
it. I kept my head turned away from her, not willing to let her read my
expression.

"I don't
know what you're talking about, Leti."

She laughed.

"Bullshit,
Alex. I'm not fucking stupid." She paused, waiting for a response that I
wouldn’t give.

She leaned over,
her moist lips on the tip of my ear.

"I know
there's something, but I also know I can do so much more." Her tongue
reached out, lightly skimming me ear.

The move did
something to me. What it was, I couldn’t place. I turned my head, lazily
looking at her through beer-goggled eyes.

"Bennett
seems like a nice girl.
For someone else.
You need
these Latin hips and lips."

Cassie's face
came thrashing back in my head. The pain it brought with it was worse than the
headache that had somehow filtered in. The
joy of looking at
her was overshadowed by the sting of her beautiful eyes staring into me
.
I needed to get rid of her quickly.