Authors: C.C. Brown
Castillo turned
in the seat and leaned toward me. She made quick work of my belt and pants,
snaking her hands inside my boxer briefs. I inhaled, relishing the feel of a
feminine hand on my dick. She stroked me, finally getting me hard and erect
since her presence and touch alone wasn't enough to make it happen. If this was
how I was going to get rid of Cassie, then so be it. Any chick would do the
trick, and apparently I wasn't too picky about who it was.
She lay down,
placing her mouth on my cock, her moist walls clamping down like a tight
suction cup. My eyes shut as I bit down on my bottom lip. I placed my hands in
her hair, grabbing hold of it while she started slow and meticulous sucks,
moving her head up and down. I lifted my hips, hoping to get more of her around
me, even if almost all of me was halfway down her throat.
She quickly
switched to sloppy sucks, the sounds of her tongue lapping up my shaft
barreling into my ears, annoying the fuck out of me.
"Suck,"
I commanded, needing her to take all of my frustrations away.
She obeyed,
returning to the sucks that had left me speechless. I shoved my cock farther
into her mouth, but the sound of her gag stopped me from going as far as I
wanted to go. In that moment, Cassie came back to mind, and her impressive
ability to deep throat without so much as the slightest gag.
My conscience
finally whacked me upside the head. I realized that as much as I wanted to rid
myself of Cassie, it wasn't going to happen tonight, and it damn sure wasn't
going to happen like this.
I yanked on her
hair, pulling her mouth off of me.
"What?"
she asked breathlessly.
"I'm
done."
"No, we
aren't."
"Yes,
I
am," I growled, further pushing
her head away.
I put my shit
back into my pants, opened the door and stepped out. I looked back at her and
mumbled, "I'm sorry. I can't do this."
She looked back
at me, confusion and anger piercing through her eyes and filling
her face
.
As I was standing
and zipping up my pants, I caught Riley in the distance looking out to me. I
didn't say another word to Castillo as I walked away, back in the direction of
the bar.
"What the
fuck, man?" Riley asked. He looked like he was ready to beat my ass, and
in my inebriated state, I was sure he could do it.
"Don’t
fucking start with me, Riley."
He stepped in front
of me and pushed me up against the wall. Anger hit me as I fought him off, but
with my intoxication he was much too strong for me.
"You're a
fucking idiot, Alex. You fucked Bennett and fell for her. Okay, big fucking
deal. Yes, the rules of the Corps make it very costly, but it is what it is. You've
been a fucking prick ever since finding out about NCO of the Quarter and now
this-- Castillo."
I stood glaring
at him while he spilled out everything for me in black and white.
"You can't
run from your feelings for her, and fucking anything with a pussy isn't going
to get her out of your system. Wake the fuck up, man. She's into you, and she’s
feeling the effects of your fucking stupidity."
"You better
shut your fucking mouth, Riley. You have no idea what you're talking
about," I seethed. Pure malice was hidden under my words, but it was truly
aimed at me. Riley was dead on, but I didn't want to admit it.
"Who are you
kidding? Do you not remember that I was the one you originally confided in? Figure
it out with her, Alex, but not like this. Not like this, brother."
I felt weak. I
felt spent. I felt dirty and ashamed. Through fighting my allegiance to the
Corps, my feelings for Cassie and my own guilt-ridden mind, I was spiraling out
of control and hating every second of it.
Riley walked me
out to my truck and helped me into the passenger seat.
"I'm letting
the guys know you're sick, and I'm taking you home. I'll come back for
them."
"Don’t say
that shit. I'm not sick."
"Yes you
are. Even if it's not physical."
He shut the door
and took off into the darkness, headed back for the bar entrance. Turning my
head to the side, I watched Castillo fix herself as she walked back towards the
bar. The thought of her hands and mouth on my dick sickened me all over again. I
couldn’t stand the thought of what I had done and how stupidly I had tried to
erase Cassie from my mind.
She was embedded in me, and for
better or for worse
,
I wanted and needed her
.
I thrust the door
open, leaning my head out just in time as puke erupted from my mouth, crashing
down on the gravel below. My body felt like it had been run over by a seven
ton, and all of the aches and pains that accompanied it were well deserved. I
couldn’t believe how senseless I had acted, and how low I had sunk. I didn't
deserve Cassie, but I wanted her so badly.
Cassie
Friday was a nightmare.
On the one hand,
I was proud of Alex for his accomplishment, but also pissed at him for
completely ignoring me. His words came creeping back into my head, how he had
no intention of fucking and running. Well, the more I looked back at what had
transpired between us, the more I believed that was precisely what he had done.
Alex was the
model Marine, but he was also a shitty person, and sometimes the two went hand
in hand. Thoughts of the things we had done, the loving and protective way that
he'd come to my defense when confronted with potential issues...it hadn’t
dawned on me that he was hiding his true self. Of course, I should have known
better. I was now,
that girl
, and
rather than cry about it, I wanted to kick my own ass for it.
Angelica stayed
in the room all night, making everything completely awkward. I had no drive to
get out of my bed after the school day, so I stayed tucked in, reading the
study manual for the radio system that we would be tested on the following
week. The challenge presented to us in class was music to my ears.
A whole seventy-two, to myself?
I couldn't think of anything
better, and I was determined to win it.
Dalton came over
but didn't stay long. He wanted to head out to the free concert put on by the
Marine band at The General's Lawn, but amped up music and smiling faces just
didn’t seem like the right place for me to be. I was also afraid that since it
was a military event, I would run into Alex and feel the weight of a boulder on
my chest again. I wasn't one to whine, but seeing him struck me with pain, and
since I had to see him during the regular work/school day, I needed to avoid
him anyway that I could.
Angelica's cell
phone woke me early Saturday morning. I'd planned on sleeping in since sleep
seemed to be the only time I got any peace, but she gave no courtesy to me
sleeping in the bed right next to her. Instead, she answered, laughing and
talking loudly while I tossed and turned, hoping she would get the hint. When
she did finally leave, I had the hardest time going back to sleep, so I got up,
threw on some workout clothes, and went out on the same run that Dalton and I
had done before. If I was going to inflict pain on myself, I wanted it to be
done by doing something good to my body, not sabotaging it.
The rising sun
creeping over the mountains hit me and poured just a tiny bit of pick me up
into my soul. It felt
good
, all eighty or so degrees
of it. The morning air, warm and slightly humid, brought a refreshing aura with
it. I definitely needed it. My week had been filled with doubts and lingering
questions. There was also the fear that I could be reported and destroyed, and
it all hung over me like a dangling noose. It was about time to rid myself of
it. If Alex didn't want to continue on with me, then I damn sure wasn't about
to be hung up and worried about him.
I ran all the way
back to the barracks. If Alex had done anything good with me, the anger he
fueled gave me the determination to push through one of my least favorite
activities--running. I looked at my watch just as I approached the
building,
seeing that I had shaved a good two minutes from
the last time I tried this route. Exhausted joy coursed through me. I finally
felt as if I was getting back to being me.
When I made my
way to the stairs, I peeked into the duty room and found Dalton standing there
in workout clothes, speaking to the Corporal on duty. He turned his head and
noticed me, hollering, "Hey, Bennett, wait up."
I stopped,
waiting on the bottom step as he came waltzing out, his everlasting smile still
plastered on his face.
"You were so
out of it last night, I wasn't sure you'd be up and out before noon."
"Yeah, well,
when Cruella Deville is your roommate, your sleep runs on her schedule."
He laughed, and I
found the energy to do it too.
"I'm heading
to the chow hall in about a half hour. You want to go with me? Make up for our
breakfast that got cancelled?"
His smile grew
larger, and I was weakened. Even if I’d wanted to turn him down, I couldn't do
so.
"Meet me at
my room in a half hour. And this time, avoid any instructors lurking around
here."
"Alright. See
ya in a bit."
Dalton went back
into the duty room, and I jogged up the stairs. When I reached my room, I looked
over the balcony and found Angelica off in the parking lot, talking and
laughing with what looked like Castillo. Bile rose in my throat as I watched
two people who loathed me, befriending one another. Their exchanges looked so
natural. It shouldn't have shocked me since both of them seemed to come with
about as much venom as a poisonous snake. The desert was a fitting environment
for them, and it was only natural that they found one another.
I shook them off
and walked into my room, hurrying to the bathroom and hopping into the shower
before Angelica came back and tried to bulldoze her way in front of me. Since
Alex confronted her, she hadn't had much to say, but her pettiness was growing
and I really had no desire to deal with it.
I washed my hair,
remembering the feel of Alex's hand running through it. Even though I knew I
needed to forget about him, it was so hard to do. The slightest of things
constantly reminded of him, pulling me back into that place that was full of
anger, hurt, and bitterness. I hurried through my hair washing, scrubbed my
body,
then
got out. The sooner I was occupied, the
better.
"Good
morning, Cassie," Angelica said with too much sweetness. Her eyes thinned
into snake-like slits. I knew she was up to no good.
"Good
morning, Angelica," I dryly replied. I found no reason to be fake and put
on a show with her. I didn't like her, and she knew it.
"Are you
done in the bathroom? I need to shower after that intense kickboxing session
this morning."
She studied my
face, almost as if she
were
looking for a response
from me, but I kept my cool and didn’t give her one. If I had learned anything
from my very short time in the Corps, it was how to grow a thick skin when it
came to petty bitches.
I brushed past
her, moving over to my side of the room without responding to her unwanted
information. There wasn't anything that could come out of her mouth that I
needed
nor wanted to hear.
"You know
Sgt. Castillo and Sgt. Cruz have something, right?" Her voice elevated the
further into the bathroom she walked. The sound of her footsteps stopped, right
along with my breath.
She poked her
head out of the bathroom, prompting me to turn to my wall locker and gather the
things out of it that I needed. She didn't deserve a reaction from me, and I
had no reason to give her one.
"Go ahead
and play high and mighty, Cassie, but your boy Cruz is a manipulator. I
overheard her talking about it. They all went out to celebrate last night, and
he fucked her in her Jeep." She paused, stepping further out and staring
at me.
I could feel the
intensity of her gaze, burning into me like solar flares. What the hell was she
up to? There was nothing for me to be mad and upset about if two Marines found
each other attractive and acted on it. Alex and I
were
not an item, and if he wanted to dig into the trash for his next fuck, then so
be it.
Only, I couldn’t
make myself believe that.
Of course, I had
a reason to be upset. Couple or not, he was fucking wrong if this were true. But
I had to consider the source. Ever since Alex went for me at Coyotes, Angelica
had turned into a first class bitch, and seeing me suffer seemed to be all that
she was after.
I laughed her
off.
"Well,
that's nice. I hope it was good." The words were like deep cuts, slicing
their way through me. It hurt saying that shit, even if it was just a front.
"Okay,
Cassie. We both know you and Cruz had something going on. The fact that he
would fuck another chick in our immediate circle says a lot about him."
"You know,
Angelica, you have too much time on your hands. You've been trying to stick it
to me ever since that night at Coyotes. It was a dance, that's it. But, I can't
help but wonder if all of this is just your childish way of screaming that
you're pissed you didn't get picked."
Her eyes lost
their gleam, instead rocketing daggers at me.
"I guess I
should warn your new buddy, Castillo that she better watch out. You don’t play
nice when you don't get what you want, and it's obvious that Sgt. Cruz is what
you want."
Her mouth
tightened as her chest heaved furiously. I had hit a nerve, but it was only
fitting because she had hit one with me. I hated that she could get under my
skin with something that shouldn't have mattered, and probably wasn't even
true, but she had. And in order to make her back the hell up, I had to go for
the jugular.