Freak Show (30 page)

If only it could be so simple.

The forest was alive with the sound of wolves, raising their melodious voices to the sky. There was no sound like it. It banished my insecurity. I didn’t have to belong to this pack to know that I was every bit as much a wolf as they were.

I followed Shaz as he bounded through the brush and thick patches of trees, tracking various scents that caught his attention. The hoot of an owl drew my eye to a large tree branch overhead. The majestic bird stared down at me. It was a special moment in time, not my first encounter with a bird of prey and hopefully not my last. We shared an acknowledgment of one another, an unspoken respect.

I trotted off, thinking about how nature was superior to both humans and vampires. Here in the wild, we recognized each other, and we all knew our roles. It was peaceful. And if I could use anything in my life just then, it was peace.

When I found Shaz, he was having a stare down with a frightened rabbit. The little thing was quivering in fright, frozen solid, eyes wide with fear. Shaz moved slowly, lying down in the faded grass. After several moments, the rabbit broke from its position and fled down a nearby hole in the ground.

My heart skipped a beat. I went to Shaz and nuzzled him with wolf kisses. He was still the sweetest man I knew, and yet, he was also a killer, ready to take on anyone, man, wolf or vampire, if it was the right thing to do.

Eventually we made our way to the clearing. It was a place among the trees that the pack used as a meeting point. Shaz raised his muzzle and howled. The sound shook me. There was nothing more heart wrenching. His cry was echoed by the pack. One by one, they began to arrive in the clearing, forming a circle around us. He was calling them to us, and upon realizing that, my nerves began to take hold. What was he doing?

When everyone was gathered, Shaz shifted back to human form. Standing in the center of the circle of beasts, he made eye contact with them each in turn.

I remained as wolf, slinking out of the center, doing my best to blend in with the others. He was the Alpha here with Kylarai, should she choose to keep the position of Alpha female. I had no authority here now.

“I’ve gathered you all here together for a reason,” Shaz began when all the wolves were settled. “To begin, I’d like to congratulate Coby and Kylarai on their engagement. We all wish you both the best. Know that this is your family, and we love you. Always.”

The wolves made a bunch of noise, yips and howls, proclaiming their agreement. Kylarai and Coby stood together, two brown wolves that couldn’t stop gazing longingly at each other.

When the noise died down, Shaz continued, “As you all know, I’ve recently returned from spending some time away. During that time, I’ve come to realize many things. One of those things is that I can no longer be the Alpha of this pack.”

This announcement was met with much shock and confusion. Holding up a hand for silence, Shaz held a hand out to Ky and Coby. “Kylarai is your current Alpha female. I would like to hand the Alpha male title over to Coby. If anyone has a problem with that, come forward now or forever keep your silence.”

I tensed, hopeful that nobody would dare to defy Shaz’s wish. As it was, the small town pack was composed of everyday types, teachers, lawyers, soccer moms. Nobody moved.

We all stared at Shaz. I couldn’t believe he was walking out on them. Something had changed in him. I saw it in Vegas when he killed in Jenner’s death fight. I was still trying to decide if I should be worried about his easy acceptance of that situation.

Satisfied that nobody dared to challenge Coby as the new Alpha, he beckoned both wolves forward. “My place is no longer here with you all. I belong with Alexa. Most of you don’t really understand who she is, you only see what she is.” He paused, allowing that to sink in. “Welcome your new Alpha couple. And obey them always. They’ll take care of you.”

He backed out of the center of the circle, gesturing for Coby and Kylarai to take his place there. They did so with some hesitation. They were evidently as surprised by this announcement as the rest of us.

The pack raised their voices in tribute to their new leaders. I joined them, happy to see Kylarai take on the leadership role I knew she’d been born for. This was for the best. Neither I nor Shaz could bring trouble to them if we were no longer part of them. Still, I felt bad for Shaz. He deserved to have a pack to call his own.

Resuming his wolf form, Shaz nudged my flank and bounded into the trees. I followed, dying to ask him a dozen questions. We went a good mile or more from the others, stopping only after their voices had faded in the distance.

Certain that we were alone, I shifted, needing a human voice. At my request, he followed suit.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were going to do that?” I demanded. The ground was cold under my feet. A twig poked into my heel, but I barely noticed.

“So you could try to talk me out of it?” He asked with a chuckle. “No way. I know you, Lex.”

“But, why? You fought for that pack. They’re yours.”

“Not anymore. I needed to do it. My place is with you.” He placed a finger on my lips, muffling my protests. “We need to make contact with the city wolves. You need to reach out to them, and I’ll be by your side when you do it.”

“It’s not going to be that simple.” I pushed his hand away but held it tight.

“Nothing ever is.”

“Being with me means being in the world of vampires.”

“It always has. You’ve never been just a wolf, Alexa. I’ve always accepted that.”

What more could I say? Shaz had made his choice. He knew what he risked. There was no point in arguing or begging him to change his mind. So I did the only thing I could. I kissed him.

His tongue slipped between my lips, delving hungrily into my mouth. This time when I ran my hands over him, he didn’t push me away.

Passion and instinct drove us to the forest floor. I couldn’t get enough of the way he felt. My hand closed around his shaft, and I was pleased to find him already hard for me. His soft moan encouraged me as I stroked him. We lay together, surrounded by nature while love and desire consumed us. His mouth was hot on my neck and chest as he licked and nipped my sensitive flesh.

I needed to have him, here in the forest, where we belonged. Unlike our last encounter, I was not the aggressor. There was no bloodlust present within me nor did I see him as prey. Instead, I wanted him to claim me.

Shaz didn’t need my submission. Already he was taking a dominant stance, reaching between my thighs to slide his fingers inside me. His mouth claimed my nipple while his fingers worked magic. Deciding I was ready for him, Shaz nudged my legs apart. He entered me with a slick thrust. That first stroke was my favorite. Having him inside me brought a happy sigh to my lips.

It had been so long since we’d made love like this, under the stars. We moved together, our pace frenzied but tender. Claws and fangs gave an aggressive edge to the carnal act, but there was genuine emotion behind every touch, every kiss and bite.

The masculine scent of him was mouthwatering. All I could taste, breathe and feel was Shaz. I was a willing slave to the passion that consumed us.

Face to face, we gazed into one another. My breath came faster, and my heart pounded in my ears. The cool night air was a soothing caress on my sweaty skin. My white wolf possessed my body, making it his in every way. We had both needed this moment.

Learning to live in the moment was starting to come easier. My future might have been predestined in many ways, such as my link to Arys or being a Hound of God. However, I knew that nothing was written in stone. Things could always change. We all had choices to make that would alter what came next.

Choosing to embrace it all, good and bad, risks and benefits, I was determined to move forward bravely. I was tired of being afraid, tired of expecting the worst. I had a job to do, and I was going to see it through. Even if it killed me.

Shaz’s devotion would never cease to surprise me. In recent days, he seemed more sure of our role together than I ever had. He had always been the balance I needed, the one who kept me from being consumed by Arys’s darkness. Maybe it wouldn’t always be so, but I would never forget the lengths he was willing to go to for me.

Being there in his arms, gazing up into his fabulous green eyes, I was able to submit myself to whatever lay ahead. I found strength in those who loved me, my friends and family. Their willingness to back me, regardless of what that meant, was more than I would ever deserve. And I cherished it. I would do anything for any one of them. We were stronger together.

Still, I knew deep in my heart that when push came to shove, I would have to walk this dark path alone.

Epilogue

A loud clatter followed by a bang had me cringing. The last of the old furniture and tables were being hauled out of The Wicked Kiss. I was happier than I thought I’d be to see them go.

I had wasted no time in following through with my plans to renovate. Whatever had gone on here in my absence was still a mystery to me. Kale and Willow seemed to be the only ones to know the exact story, and neither of them was talking.

I snuck a sidelong glance at Willow who sat perched on a barstool beside me, watching the vampires on my staff tear apart my nightclub. In his hand was a tequila, like usual. I would never understand how he could drink that awful swill.

“Still not talking, huh?” I teased, knowing he wouldn’t spill Kale’s secret.

“There’s nothing to talk about. I promise.” He ducked his dirty-blond head to hide a grin. “So, tell me what you plan to do about Jenner and the Vegas club.”

While we watched the loud and sometimes destructive activity in the club, I had filled him in on the details of my trip. I had also told him about the dream I had a few nights ago. Even Arys and Shaz didn’t know about that. Not yet.

“Vegas is Arys’s problem right now,” I said, frowning into my whiskey glass. “I have enough to deal with here. How the hell can I run two cities when I have yet to run one? And who knows? I might be dead soon. Then neither city will be my problem.”

Willow’s silver wings were absent from sight though I could almost hear them rustle as he shifted on his stool. He gave me a look I was starting to know well. It meant he was about to get serious on me.

“You think the dream means you’re going to die soon?” He asked, his tone gentle and warm. “Dreams are open to interpretation. They can mean almost anything. Try not to read too much into it.”

Falon’s words haunted me every time I gazed into the dark gold liquor in my glass. He represented everything I feared and loathed. Being one of Shya’s minions didn’t appeal to me. I would rather truly be dead than enslaved to a demon.

The dragon on my forearm itched and burned, as if aware of my thoughts. More than once, I had toyed with the thought of digging it out of my flesh with a claw. The only thing stopping me was knowing that Shya would make me pay for it. He had still not shown up unexpectedly nor had he continued to call. It was starting to make me nervous. I wished he would just get it over with already.

Since returning from Las Vegas, I felt like I was stuck in some kind of limbo. Waiting for something to happen was not my strong suit. I’d rather make things happen. In this case, my hands were tied. I could do nothing until Shya made the first move. Then I could only react and hope that it was enough.

Of course, there were other things to keep me busy. I had no intention of remaining idle. Shya was seeking something, a scroll. It went without saying that I would be wise to seek it as well. Seeing as the bastard planned to use my death to open the seal barring it, I had as much reason to desire its location as he did.

“I don’t think I’m jumping to the wrong conclusion, Willow. I can feel it. It’s going to happen soon.” I took a deep breath and blurted, “I’m scared.”

It was a confession I don’t think I would have made to anyone else. Arys had a way of knowing my feelings due to our bond, but even he did not know my every thought. An admission of fear felt like an admission of weakness. I detested it.

Willow scooted his stool closer so he could put a friendly arm around my shoulders and pull me in against him. His touch was comforting like a warm blanket on a rainy day.

“I know,” he said, resting his head against mine. “It’s ok to be scared, Alexa. It means you still feel something. You still care. It’s a good thing.”

“Doesn’t feel too damn good.”

There was another crash as a broken table came apart on its way out the door. It would be a relief when this was done. I planned to keep the club operating during renovations, which would prove difficult but had to be done. It would have been nice if Kale had been here to help oversee things. Wherever he was, I probably didn’t want to know.

He too had been keeping his distance. That was likely for the best. There were only so many ways and so many times I could apologize for taking Shya’s mark to save him. I would never be sorry for saving him, no matter how hard Kale tried to make me regret that choice.

Baggage. We all had it. Mine was starting to get pretty heavy. I shuddered to imagine what it would be like after centuries as a vampire. I couldn’t picture it.

The Wicked Kiss was almost bare. The floors were being redone as soon as the painting was finished. No carpet. It was too easily dirtied up in a place like this. Kale had little input to give despite the building’s ownership being in his name, so I’d chosen a nice, non-slip luxury vinyl tile to do the main party area in, including the dance floor. The old, hard booth seats were being replaced with softer seats that were more couch-like rather than bench-like. I was still picking out furniture for the lounge area behind the bar. I sighed when I remembered that the paint color for the walls had yet to be selected. There was a lot of work ahead, and yet I was kind of excited about it.

The regular patrons that couldn’t stay away were crowded around the bar, squeezing in wherever they could. If they could see the Vegas club, they’d all be on the next flight out. Jenner had much to be proud of.

Thinking about Vegas brought something to mind, something I’d forgotten about until now. I met Willow’s gold and green gaze. I had to ask.

“Willow, there was something Falon said in Vegas. It struck me as kind of odd. He told me that all fallen angels know exactly where they stand. You included. What does that mean?” There. I asked, despite the nagging little voice that insisted I didn’t want an answer to Falon’s cryptic shit.

Much to my surprise, Willow got very quiet. He looked away, staring at the crew tearing out the old dance floor, and I didn’t like that he was purposely avoiding eye contact. “Don’t listen to a word that comes out of Falon’s mouth,” he said. “We all had a purpose before the fall, and some of us still have a purpose now. You can’t let him get inside your head. That’s what he wants.”

“At this point, there are so many people inside my head I don’t think there’s room left for me,” I joked, finding it close enough to the truth to make it hard to laugh.

Willow chose an interesting way of avoiding my question. He hadn’t really given me an answer. Which perhaps was answer enough. For whatever reason, Willow didn’t want to talk about it. Fair enough. I understood that some subjects were sensitive for him. Clearly, this was one of them.

Busying myself with the makeover of the club had worked wonders to keep my mind occupied. Too much time to think was a very bad thing. Eventually, the club would be finished. Then I’d have to find something else to do. Drinking myself stupid with Willow was always an option. Might as well do it while I still could.

Pretending the Las Vegas club was someone else’s problem was a delusion that would soon grow tired. It was mine now, and so was Jenner. I would walk among the glamour of The Strip once again, and next time, I might be one of the many vampires hunting the streets of Sin City. I had done my best to avoid thinking about it since coming home because I knew that taking control of Vegas was for the best. Harley had made a mess of it. Now he was gone, and we were left to clean up after him. And we would.

Arys loved that damn city. I could see why. Standing in front of the Bellagio fountain, I’d known a sense of wonder I hadn’t felt in a very long time. It was an illusion, much like everything else in Las Vegas.

Vampires in Vegas and a demon at home made my to-do list daunting, to say the least. I chewed my bottom lip, lost in thought. Was it possible to intertwine the two? To harness the power of the Sin City vampires from a distance? The wheels in my brain turned. An idea began to take form, one that surely was far too outrageous to work. It was one that would simmer on the backburner of my mind.

I was startled from my thoughts by an attractive young man. He paid no attention to the drink in my hand, unaware that I was not what he was seeking. Brazen and more than a little drunk, he asked me if I was seeking a playmate for the night.

For a split second, I was tempted to say yes. My gaze went to the pulse throbbing in his neck, and I hungrily licked my lips. “Sorry, handsome. I’m not what you’re looking for tonight. Not if you want to leave here alive.”

After he had moved on to another, I groaned and gave Willow’s arm a squeeze. “Oh, God, I wanted to devour that guy. I’m going to be the worst kind of vampire.”

“You turned him away. That counts for something.”

“Yeah, this time.”

With a sigh and a bitter laugh, I wasted no time in acquiring a refill. The whiskey was going down fast and smooth tonight. My mortal life was slipping away. I could feel it. Every night the void grew.

Now that I had tuned in to the blood rushing through the human bodies around us, I couldn’t focus on anything else. The dream from a few nights ago came back to haunt me. Sinking fangs, spilling blood, it’s what I craved.

“I think I need some air.” I slid off the stool and headed for the exit. Willow fell into step beside me, a comforting shadow at my side.

There was a bite to the night air. Fall was approaching fast. I embraced the chill. Feeling it meant I was still mortal, human in some small way. I clung to that.

The scent of cigarettes tainted the air. I wrinkled my nose and flashed a mock glare at Willow. “Why do you do that?”

Puffing away on a smoke, he leaned against the building and shrugged. “Because I can. It’s not like it’s going to kill me. And it goes well with the tequila.”

Laughter released some of the tension I’d been holding. I was able to relax. Standing in the parking lot after drinking with a fallen angel, all I could do was laugh.

The Feds would be calling in their favor in the near future. Shya openly admitted his plan to sacrifice me for access to greater power. Not to mention the forbidden vampire lover intent on making me crazy. One might say I had a lot on my plate.

None of it mattered. It didn’t. Because once it did, I would be made powerless. The fact that I was still standing, still ready to fight, that meant something. I was a Hound of God, the light half of a twin flame. I didn’t come this far to die without fulfilling my purpose. Whether that was to clean up Vegas or to find a way to stop Shya, I didn’t know. But I was ready to find out.

I could do this. No, I would do this.

One day at a time.