Freeing Alex (27 page)

“I’m learning more and more about her as time goes by,” I
say. “I suppose we should arrange to meet at some point. Drop me an email and
let me know when you’re free.”

“Did your daughter have a good night?” I can see his smile
broaden in the rearview mirror.

“Umm, you do know they both got paralytic, don’t you?” I’m
very matter of fact.

“I had heard they were drinking Zombies like they were going
out of fashion. Still, Clive sorted them out.” He laughs.

“He did, but I don’t know if I approve of the drink? They
spent most of the following morning throwing up!” I sort of half laugh. I know
I shouldn’t but, well, I suppose we must have all been there at some point,
most of us.

He laughs as we pull into Cheyne Row. “Just down here.” I
waft my hand stupidly as I know he can’t look back. “Here’ll do, thank you.”

 Nial gets out of the car and opens my door, offering a hand
as I exit the back of the Jaguar.

“It was lovely to meet you, Mrs Drake. I
will
drop
you an email as we really should get together soon,” he says as he lifts my
hand, placing a light kiss on the back.

I smile at him, feeling a little uncomfortable, just a
little. “Please do and please, Nial – call me Alex, not Mrs Drake, okay?”

“Sure, Alex, not a problem. Do you want me to see you to
your door?” He smiles again, a broad grin, another gentleman.

“No, I’m fine. But thank you.” I head off towards my home
with him watching me. Once I’m in I turn around and wave him off as he pulls
away.

 Kicking the killer heels off, I go through to the kitchen
and make myself a cup of tea. I’m not tired, far from it, and having met Nial
tonight I really feel as though I should review the business portfolio. I think
I’ve had my head in the sand with most of the businesses that I’ve inherited,
I’ve no desire to be active in any of them particularly, although I do enjoy my
time at the hotel. I suppose I should at least show my face to the other
partners in each of the investments.

I drag out the file of paperwork given to me by the
solicitors when everything was completed and put into my name. I flick through
the brief notes regarding each one, forcing myself to concentrate on the papers
that I have, if only to get over James and his tantrum – he’s hurt me, he
really has.

He knew that Maggie had investments all over the place,
surely, and if he had said where we were going I would have told him. He
treated me like I’d deliberately hidden things from him.

I sit with my tea and my reading. The hotel is first on the
stack, probably because that’s the one that Maggie owned outright and the
papers I’ve looked at the most. Next are documents relating to several office
blocks and apartment complexes and finally the nightclub. It looks like the
nightclub was a one-off investment; it doesn’t fit with the rest of the
portfolio, which is all property apart from the hotel, and it seems strange
that she chose to put money into this one. Yes, I think I really should meet
with Nial, if only to try and find out why she went this route. Maggie must
have been approached by other business wannabes, so why Henry’s and no other
clubs in the area?

I curl up on the sofa with my tea and the documents on my
lap, reading each one carefully. There’s some serious money here. I do wonder
if I’m stupid keeping all of these, would I not be best to sell some of them?
Will they always bring in a good income? I think I really need to take some
advice and I make a mental note to speak to the Wealth Manager at Coutts next
time I go in.

Another cup of tea and my thoughts drift to James. No matter
how I dress it up and whatever I think
I
have done, I come to the same
conclusion over and over again: he was wrong. I would have told him about
Henry’s if I had known, but unless he’d told me where we were going how the
hell
could
I have known? I’m sad and angry at the same time. Sad that
the evening ended abruptly like it did when I was so looking forward to it,
that
was
my fault because I needn’t have walked out like I did, but I
felt I needed to make a stand on this. There is no way I am going to be treated
like that again, I’ve learnt a long and hard lesson being with Lewis and I’m
never, ever going back there. I’m angry with James for assuming the worst of
me. I had nothing to gain, nothing at all, by keeping the information from him.

I must fall asleep on the sofa as I’m woken in the early
hours by the front door opening and James clattering down the hallway. I stand
as he tumbles into the living room, obviously very well oiled. 

“You’re he-here,” he slurs.

“Where else would I be?” I snap at him.

“You left me!” He turns out his bottom lip. “You left me on
my own, baby!” He’s absolutely pissed.

From the sofa I can smell the alcohol on him, lots of it.
His shirt is undone down to his stomach and his beautiful hair is an absolute
mess. He stumbles further into the living room and eventually crashes onto the
sofa, legs outstretched and arms flung out to either side of him.

I stand and march towards the kitchen. “I’ll get you some
water.” 

“Don’t want water, Alex, I want you, blossom,” he says,
barely coherently.

“Well, you can’t, not when you’re like that anyway.” I fill
a large glass full of water and take it back to the living room. When I get
there he’s fast asleep, breathing heavily with this head lolled on one side. I
lean forward to cover him with one of the throws and see that he has what looks
like a hickey on his neck.
The bloody bastard!
I fume. It’s pointless
shouting at him, he’s out cold. Well, he can go, the moment he’s awake tomorrow
he’s gone. I don’t bother to cover him, he can freeze!

I storm upstairs, tears burning my eyes, but I’m going to be
strong on this one. He won’t get the chance to use me. I undress and climb into
my bed, taking off the pendant as I do. It’s such a pretty piece of silver and
I’ll treasure it forever, just because James gave it to me, but he’s also hurt
me tonight. It’s the first time I’ve had my bed to myself for a while and it
feels good to have all this space to myself, but cold and lonely at the same
time. I spread myself out before curling up under my duvet.

I wake at eight, later than normal
for me. I’m excited as today is the day that Anna gets her results, but first I
have to deal with the drunken two-timer downstairs.

Pulling my robe on, I make my way to the living room. He’s
still there, still fast asleep. I shake his shoulder. “James, wake up, you need
to leave! James, wake up!” I shout.

He stirs and looks up at me, shocked. His eyes are
bloodshot, he smells horrendous and looks even worse. “Please…” His voice is hoarse.

“You need to leave. I don’t want you here any more. I want
you gone, gone now. Get your drunken arse out of my house now.” I kick him in
the shins and waltz through to my kitchen to make tea. He winces at the kick
and moves to rub his shin, I hope it bloody hurt!

 Looking at the clock in the kitchen I see that it’s just
past eight. Anna can go into school at 8.30, I think she said.

As the kettle boils I hear James trudge through to the
kitchen. Even though he’s the worse for wear he still looks stunning, his curls
tumbling around his face and the faintest shadow of his beard just showing
through on his olive skin, all blighted by that bloody mark.

“I’m sorry,” he offers, “I’m really, really sorry. I was
wrong for treating you like that, I should never have acted that way.”

“No, damn right you shouldn’t. But it doesn’t matter now
because you’re going. You’re not welcome here any longer!” I hiss at him. “Get
yourself back to the little whore who marked you last night. I’ve been a mug
for the last twenty-two years and I don’t intend to be one any more.” I start
to rant as I make my tea, shouting. He’s clearly in pain, good.

 I yell again. “Do you think I’m totally stupid? And more to
the point, did you really think I’d have kept it from you had I have known you
were going to take me there?” I continue my relentless rant. “Not that it
matters any more because you’ve shown your true colours, you’re just a
two-timing
bastard
, just like Lewis. I don’t want you here any more, and
as for your job, we’ll have to discuss that when you’re sober and when I’ve
calmed down!”

He rubs his head, trying to soothe the massive headache that
he doubtless has. “What— what’s the matter, Alex?” 

I gasp, open mouthed. “What’s the fucking matter?” I
practically scream at him. “Look at yourself, look at your neck. You tell me
what the matter is!” I’m livid.

He raises his hand to his neck, of course, he can’t feel
anything.

“Have a look in the bloody mirror!” I yell at him.

He all but staggers to the hall and to the mirror. “Oh
shit!” I hear him whisper.

“Yes, oh shit!” I snipe at him. “Get yourself out of my
house and back to your little slapper!” I can feel the start of tears, but I’m
not
going to cry. This is a battle that I
will
win.

“It’s not what you think, Alex, it’s not. We didn’t
do
anything, it was just… just kissing,” he pleads.

“You don’t get bloody hickeys from kissing! What do you
think I am? I know I’m inexperienced but even I know that. Have your bit of tin
back and get out of my house!” I yell, plonking the pendant on the island in
front of him.

“It
was
just kissing, honestly.” His head’s down, his
voice so very hoarse. “Look, ask Clive, ask the doorman. He’s the one who
arranged a cab for me to come home, and the girl who waited on us. Oh shit,
Alex, I’m so sorry!”

I look at him and could swear he’s welling up. “Alex, I
really, really like you. I’d never, ever do anything to hurt you, I promise. Oh
hell, I’m so sorry.” He looks totally distraught, his big eyes bloodshot but
wide, fearful.

“Come here.” He pulls me towards him, grabbing me around my
waist. “Please, just let me prove to you that nothing happened. Please,” he
begs.

“You smell like shit!” I counter.

“That’s unkind,” he says sulkily.

I jab my fingers into his chest. “No, James, it’s the truth.
I
always
speak the truth, I always have and always will. You smell like
a brewery! And you’re not forgiven, not yet anyway. And I
will
speak
with Clive and that girl.” 

“Come to bed with me, Alex.” Now he’s really pushing it.

“James, no! You’re still pissed, you stink and you’ve got
God-knows-what all over your shirt. No! I’m not coming anywhere near you until
that
has gone
!” I push my finger hard against the mark on his neck and he
flinches.
Good, I hope it hurt! 
“You need a shower before we continue
this conversation. Anyway, I have to wait for Anna to call with her results
this morning.”

He makes himself a coffee and sips it slowly. He winces as
it’s hot, good!

“I’ll go and shower, shall I?” He sounds humble.

“Yes, James. That would be a
very
good idea!” I snap
at him. He really does stink.

As he drags himself out the kitchen he looks back at me.
“That bit of
tin
came from Tiffany’s. The box is at my office.” He turns
around and heads off upstairs, leaving me open mouthed with my tea. Picking up
the pendant, I look at it closely. I can just make out the Tiffany mark on the
chain and pendant.
Shit, how much did this cost him
?
Is it
silver or gold?
I slip it back around my neck, the safest place, and glance
at the clock again. It won’t be long now before Anna calls, hopefully not more
than another half an hour and she’ll have her results.

I sit with another cup of tea and piece of dry toast, my
mobile and home phone by me in the kitchen. I’m chewing my cuticles and
fiddling with the tie of my robe, waiting for Anna to call. I place my hand
over the diamond heart around my neck. Have I judged James too quickly? 

I keep checking the clock. I see 8.45 and 9.00, and still no
call from Anna. Part of me wants to think that no news is good news, yet
another part of me thinks she’s avoiding calling me because it’s all gone
wrong.

As I start to tidy the kitchen, I hear James coming
downstairs. My stomach feels off this morning, maybe from not eating last night
and only a piece of toast for breakfast this morning.

 “Don’t you want to leave that for your new housekeeper –
Muriel, isn’t it?” he asks.

“I need to do something, need to keep busy until Anna calls.
You look better, but we still have to talk.” I remind him that he’s not off the
hook yet.

He’s changed into a pair of dark grey trousers and a white
open-necked shirt.

“I know. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he mutters, looking down.

“Do you want some breakfast or are you going straight off?”
I ask.

He shrugs his shoulders, looking remorseful. “I thought I’d
wait until Anna calls, I’d like to congratulate her…”

He doesn’t finish his sentence when my mobile rings. I look
at the screen. “It’s Anna.” I look up at the drunk.

He winces at the sound of the phone and looks at it and then
at me. His head must absolutely kill this morning. Good! “Well, answer it
then!” 

I press the green accept button. “Anna!”

“Hi Mum.” Oh God, she sounds disappointed. I can hear lots
of noise in the background, whooping and laughing.

“Well, how did you do? What did you get?” I’m impatient to
find out how she did.

“Umm…” she says.

“Anna, love, please tell me. What did you get?” I press for
information.
Please, come on, tell me!

The laughter in the background continues and, if anything,
becomes louder.

She laughs, the sound of her voice, well… it’s such a happy
sound. “Mum, I did much better than I thought I would! I’m so happy!”

“Yes, so what did you get?” I am insistent, firm.

I raise an eyebrow and shrug my shoulders at James, who is
now sitting at the island with his head in his hands. Serves him right!

I plead with my daughter. “Anna, please just put me out of
my misery and tell me what you got!”

“I only got…” I know now that she’s winding me up, making me
wait, delaying telling me.

“Yes, Anna, you only got what?” I’m firm now.

“Straight As! Mum, I got straight As!” She laughs and then
cries.

“Oh Anna, my love, that’s just fantastic! I am so very, very
proud of you!” I cover the mouth-piece of my phone and look at James. “Straight
As,” I whisper. I’m so proud of my clever girl.

He looks up and punches the air. “Go Anna!” he shouts at the
top of his voice, and then holds his head with both hands, clearly nursing the
hangover from hell!

“Is that James I can hear?” Anna asks.

“Yes, it is… He has a sore head this morning.” I look at
James and frown. He looks in so much pain. He looks back at me, pulling a face.

“So, how did Katie do?” I ask.

“Oh, not so good. She’s a bit upset, she got a D and a C and
the third one was unclassified.”

“Oh no, the poor girl. What’s she going to do?” I feel so
sad for Katie, she had such high hopes.

Anna sighs. “Re-sit as soon as possible, but she’ll miss
entrance this year. She’ll have a year out, I think, maybe go and work
somewhere.”

“Tell her I’m so sorry.” I really am, Katie deserves to have
done so much better.

“I will do. I’ve got to go. We’re going to celebrate at a
pub.”

“Well, just be careful,” I say, suddenly realising what
she’s said. “Pub? Anna, it’s only just past nine!” I’m surprised the school are
allowing them all to troop off to the pub, but then I suppose at eighteen years
old there’s not a lot they can do to stop it.

She laughs again. “Well, you only get these results once.” 

“Just be careful. Have you accepted a place yet?” I ask.

“No, next phone call – Birmingham, I think.” 

I take a breath. “Just keep me in the picture. We’ll need to
get an apartment sorted for you before you go anywhere, but I’ll see you before
you go on your holiday.”

“Sure, Mum. Love you.” She clears the call and she’s gone.

 James stands up from his stool and walks over to me. He
opens his arms and I step into a huge bear hug. “I’m sorry for walking out,” I
say to his neck as I nuzzle him.

“No, my fault. If I hadn’t have been so sulky you wouldn’t
have gone. And I’m sorry I danced with someone else, and kissed…” He stops as I
put my hand over his mouth.

We stand, just holding each other. He touches the pendant.
“It’s real, you know,” he says softly.

“I don’t doubt it, but I didn’t see if was from Tiffany
until you said. James, it must have cost a fortune!” I look up at him,
frowning.

“Are you not worth it?”

I sigh and hug him closer. “You’re sure you didn’t do
anything other than kiss? You absolutely swear to it?” I press.

He kisses the top of my head. “No, I swear, Alex, nothing
happened.”

“Good. Well, maybe I can forgive you. I need to pee,” I
announce.

I dash off to the loo downstairs and do what I have to do.
When I’m finished I wipe myself clean only to notice lots of blood on the
tissue. I know I missed my last period, maybe it’s the menopause, early… I
flush the loo and wash my hands when the most intense pain grips my lower
stomach. I wrap my arms around myself and lean forward, crying out at the sheer
strength of the cramp that has gripped me.

“James!” I call. “James, come here… now!”

The door opens and he stands there, watching me doubled in
two. “Shit, Alex! What’s wrong – you’re white!” He looks so shocked, taking a
sharp breath.

I hold my stomach. “Period, bad period.”

He puts his arm around me. “Do you want to go upstairs?”

“I think I should – oh God!” Another cramp hits me this time
as I stand at the bottom of the stairs. I feel an absolute gush as my womb
contracts, ejecting everything onto the floor. I’m standing there in a pool of
blood.

“This isn’t right… is it?” he asks, looking at me.

“No, not at all. Oh, here it comes again!” I groan with
pain.

“I’m calling an ambulance.” He pulls his phone from his
pocket and dials 999, gives all the details and within a few minutes we have an
ambulance parked outside my home.

The paramedics are very good and I’m whisked off to the
local accident and emergency department. By the time we get there I’ve bled out
significantly, although I’m sure it looks a lot worse than it actually is.
We’re seen very quickly by a young lady doctor who takes all of my details. All
of the time we’re there James holds my hand, never letting go. A scan is
arranged and shortly after I’m advised that I’m miscarrying a pregnancy that is
only a few weeks old.

I’m stunned. Deep down I think I knew last night that I was
pregnant, but it’s still a shock. James is mortified, one hand permanently
attached to mine, the other wedged in his curls.

When we’re on our own he holds my hand tighter. “I thought
you’d be on the pill,” he says very quietly. I assume he’s not wanting the
people in the bay next door to hear.

“No, never had any need, James. You know that Lewis and I
didn’t really have a sexual relationship so I never bothered, it only makes me
put weight on anyway. I thought, given my age, I was past my most fertile,” I
mutter.

“I’m gutted,” he announces. I look into his face, his
perfect features twisted as if he’s doing his utmost to stop himself from
breaking down.

I’m so surprised. “Are you?”  `

“Yes, I really, really am. I would have loved a child. A
son, you know, to kick a football around with, or a little girl in pink who
will bake muffins for me.” I can hear the pain in his voice as he talks quietly
to me.

“I never had you down as the fatherly type. Just shows how
little we know of each other really.” I look up at him from the hospital bed.
I’m genuinely surprised by his announcement of wanting children.

He holds my hand close to his cheek and kisses the back. As
he does, another cramp hits and I roll to my side, bringing my knees up to my
chest. I cry out again, I feel like a total wuss!