Frolic of His Own (49 page)

—Lily? The chickens are all cut up, just put them in to simmer and
chop up a few onions, will you? and those carrots left from last night, have you picked up in the library Oscar? If that bag is too heavy for you let her come back for it, maybe you can help her in the kitchen?

—Yes in a minute, listen. Charging misappropriation of the dog's name for commercial exploitation in captioning the mittens Genuine Simulated Spotskin, Wear 'Em With The Skinside Inside, the boy's lawyer, J Harret Ruth, cites the provision governing false description and false designation of origin in the Lanham Trade-Mark Act, claiming unspecified damages for trade-mark infringement and of the rights of publicity and privacy. The community has been in turmoil since . . .

—Will you stop chattering about that damn dog! Lily? can you hear me?

—No but this is the part, listen to this part, the decision by a Federal judge questioning the good faith of a jury and reversing its verdict in a trial to determine the cause of the dog's death, for which he has been vilified as an unAmerican ungodly racist and even burned in effigy. These charges have been taken up by Senator Orney Bilk, appearing before the Senate Judiciary Committee which is considering the fitness of the judge, Thomas Crease, for a seat on the U.S. Court of Appeals. I mean he really has a lot on his plate, here's another helping listen, have spilled over into another lawsuit in his court, in which the attorneys for the defendant in a case of wrongful death occurring during a baptism have demanded that Judge Crease be removed in light of his amply demonstrated antiChristian bias which, Christina? Where'd you go. There's just this . . .

—Oscar? I'm in the library, will you please come in here?

—Just this last, yes. The controversy that has swirled around the sculpture Cyclone Seven itself has also taken a new turn, as . . .

—Now!

—Yes, as its creator the sculptor R Szyrk seeks its removal over the vigorous protests of the community where it has become a substantial source of tourist income reflected in the new fully booked motel and expanded Kandy Kitchen and the Cyclone Seven pin replicas worn by the townsfolk in their petition for according it Landmark status, to be joined by a theme park featuring strolls among artifacts of modern American history recently opened by James B's father, who . . .

—Will you put down that paper and tell me what you plan to do about that mess in there?

—A lot on his plate, he muttered getting up unsteadily from the crippled chair where he'd settled again.

—Well so have we! Will you, wait a minute. Your little cart there, you're sure it won't go?

—No I told you, the battery's dead.

—Well we'll get one, we can get one can't we?

—Yes but, but I don't really need . . .

—My God, you don't think I'm thinking of you do you?

—But I, but how long is she going to stay? Because I, I'm not quite steady on my feet yet, I might need . . .

—Marching around the room, I'm on my feet and I'm going to stay on my feet? isn't that what you told us? God knows what shape she's in, you heard her on the phone didn't you? what she's been through and you're too selfish to lend her your little cart? Like a three year old, my God, and when are you going to shave, are you planning to grow a beard too?

—Well why not! Why shouldn't I!

—And that suit, one of the last civilized men left with this whole ridiculous, oh Lily. When you've made up the bed in the library I want you to drive down and get a new battery for that chair will you? There was something else I, yes a deck of cards, get two decks of cards we may want to play cards, you can play bridge can't you or you can just be the dummy to have a little life in this house again after nothing but complaints day after day, as cheerful as could be on the phone with what she's going through maybe she can set you an example Oscar, all this mumbling and brooding if you see any other games Lily, there was a Scrabble set around here somewhere, look in the library, Oscar? have you seen it?

—No. No and listen, I'm trying to get this work done I can't spend the day playing cards and . . .

—Work? You were sitting here reading the paper when we came in weren't you? tiptoeing around as though you're ready for the last rites with this play of yours it's like running an intensive care unit, it's like living with a disease that permeates the whole house, it's a disease this play of yours thank God it's not infectious or we'd all be dead, where are you going now? Wait, just put those things down Lily and go help him clean up that mess in the library, and those boxes, let's get those boxes out of the hall there before somebody breaks their neck, I'll be in the kitchen, and pudding. I should have thought of pudding, vanilla pudding or something easy to digest. I'll think of something. And she did, after a day of almost speechless dolour relieved only by fetching and carrying, clean sheets, boiled onions, that little electric heater it must be somewhere, sitting down to supper but not the chicken, no, for tomorrow or whenever she gets here, there must be something in a can we can have, —it occurred to me, Oscar? over noodles with a tomato coloured sauce spiced with the taste of tin, —if it's not already too late of course, I mean she may have been dragged over the coals in court today over it but still it would make a nice gesture.

—I don't . . .

—It wouldn't cost you a penny if that's what you're thinking.

—But I still don't . . .

—If you'll stop interrupting, this absurd paternal rights case by this miserable boy who got a court order to stop her abortion.

—But she had it, I thought that was all . . .

—I know she had it, my God I was with her wasn't I? that right to life idiot throwing catsup on her and all the rest of it? Of course now he says it was animal rights because her insurance people are suing him for the cost of that lovely chinchilla while this revolting boy is after her for God knows how much in damages for killing his unborn child while they haggle about foetal personhood and the rest of this nonsense where you might make yourself useful, I know she'd be eternally grateful.

—But what could I, I don't know anything about . . .

—Well think about it Oscar. She's up before a judge who's already called legal abortions legal executions even if it was legal, even some church idiots trying to get in the act saying she might have been carrying the Messiah. Now do you see what I mean?

—No.

—Well I'm sure Lily does. There's no proof at all that this wretched boy was the socalled father is there? While they sit there splitting hairs over these absurd legal arguments is there any proof that he's the one who got her pregnant in the first place? I mean they can't do these fancy DNA tests and God knows what else on this dreadful little foetal person because it's off where it belongs with that dreadful little dog in its simulated Spotskin, it's exactly the same thing. Lily sees what I mean.

—You mean Oscar? that he was doing it with her too?

—That's a way of putting it, my God they've known each other for a thousand years he's certainly had the chance, he can say he did can't he?

—You mean if he just said it?

—Well my God I'm not trying to get him into bed with her, it's a little late for that, I've always thought it was a shame you never took the opportunity Oscar. She's always been quite fond of you.

—Is she cute looking?

—Cute isn't quite the word Lily, she's rather tall and, rangy you might say. She's lots of fun.

—And she's rich?

—She's very rich. She'd so appreciate it Oscar, think about it. It would really be the gentlemanly thing to do. You might even find you enjoy playing the gay Lothario.

—He did it with her too? And later, as they took their separate ways, —it was probably her money, that's probably how he got it up for her even if he was gay, Oscar? getting an arm around him, —did you? ever do
it with her? He simply looked at her for a minute, sharing this weary half embrace there at the foot of the stairs where she'd cling to him as briefly late the next morning, descending carefully one step at a time with a raised finger hushing his lips. —No, she's already up, she's out in the kitchen making something. You want some tea? And by the time she brought it in he'd already begun his siege with the telephone, slamming it down when she said —I think I heard a car, and was gone up the hall.

—Well who was it.

—It's this real estate lady. She says would we mind if she goes through the house.

—If she, I certainly would mind! Barging in like a, what's she doing here. Who sent her.

—Oscar? I think I heard a car out there.

—Well you did, it's some real estate woman Christina. She wants to go through the house, of all the, just barging in like that?

—They always do. Did you make up your bed? And the sunroom, oh Lily have you put your things away in the . . .

—She's not coming in Christina! She's not putting one foot in this house, tell her she, where is she. Where is she.

—She said she'll just take a look around outside while we . . .

—Can't she read? This is private property, can't she read?

—Oscar wait, just try to calm down. That letter from the bank, did you ever do anything about it? About the mortgage, where is it.

—That they sent her here? That's got nothing to do with it Christina. The bank makes those payments right out of my account.

—Well there's a lien against your stupid salary isn't there? Maybe there's one at the bank too, where is it.

—It's over here someplace he muttered, dislodging a heap on the sideboard, and then —what's this. When did this come.

—It came yesterday, I forgot . . .

—Can't you tell me when these letters come? It's from these people on my Shiloh talk, it might be important, it might be a check . . .

—My God Oscar, you are a child. How much have they promised you.

—That's not your business Christina. Two hundred dollars, that's not the . . .

—Well a grand sum like that of course, they . . .

—I don't understand.

—That they don't pay you when they've never set eyes on you?

—No I, I don't understand . . .

—Well what is it, they've canceled it? She reached for the letter quivering in his hand but he drew it back, coming down unsteadily on the chair. —Well what is it.

—Dear, it says dear Doctor Crease. We are looking forward to your discussion on the events at Shiloh, and are sure it will contain an inspiring message for us all. While we certainly would not wish to appear to influence your approach, in view of the bitter feelings and prejudices engulfing the Holy Land today we suggest that you may not care to dwell at too much length on the bloodsoaked details of battle, and the slaughter of some thirty thousand by a barbarous enemy before victory and unity were bestowed by the forces of the Lord but at the cost of the glory of Shiloh departing forever. Unfortunately, this emphasis might only serve to add further fuel to the destructive atmosphere echoing down the ages in the voice of the Lord in Jeremiah, Go to Shiloh and see what I did to it for the wickedness of my people, and in the interests of healing the wounds of past generations you might find a more inspiring text in the words of the little child answering the vision that came to him there, Speak, for thy servant heareth . . .

—Oscar? Try to calm down. Think about it, what . . .

—But, what are they talking about!

—Well think about it. Who are these people waiting to hear what they think you know about Shiloh, who arranged this thing anyhow.

—I know everything about Shiloh! I know there were twenty thousand casualties not thirty thousand killed, ten thousand on each side they were all raw recruits no, no barbarous enemy, a lecture agency arranged it they take twenty five percent, for writers to give talks and readings . . .

—The whole thing is ridiculous. If you're a writer you write, why do you think people learned to read in the first place. All this tramping around giving talks and readings, are they all illiterates? You read stories to three year olds, if you're a writer you stay home and write.

—Well I, damn it Christina that's what I'm trying to do! These bills look at them, these lawsuits and these lawyers and these phone calls nobody answers and nobody returns, my car gets stolen and this salary lien and now this idiotic this, this glory of Shiloh departed forever healing the wounds of past generations? If it's madness they want, Go to Shiloh and see what I did to it for the, look! Look, she's out there peeking in the window, that's who sent her, selling the house out from under us when I'm barely back on my feet and I'll stay on my feet I'll, I'll go down there and see what he, what the hell is going on, I'll . . .

—Oscar for God's sake try to calm down, you're not going anywhere. Put on your magic mittens, genuine simulated Spotskin wear 'em with the furside outside and go down there and confront Father he'll eat you alive. Some poor real estate woman knocks on the door and you . . .

—Poor! I just saw her car, look out there, look at her car it's a block long it takes up half the driveway, tinted windows and the whole, listen! the door, she's trying to get in!

—She came in a little black car Oscar, it's . . .

—What in the, look! What in, how did it get in here!

—Teen? echoed down the hall.

—Oh my God . . . The door clattered, the dog barked —she's here, it's Trish, will you come and help her?

—Teen! in a flurry of mink —how marvelous! The dog barked —no down Pookie, stop it. Stop it! And Oscar, I said stop it! How simply marvelous! on a billow of scent —it's been a thousand years, I didn't dream we'd actually get here, the driver seemed quite lost I don't think he can read signs and then Jerry knew exactly where we were and the minute we saw your frightfully unfriendly sign at the gate of course he'd been here before, isn't it fun?